When should mental health outweigh financial goals?

[allycat0303]

I''m sorry if he is going through a hard time. If you two had children, I would say that your FF has no choice but to keep on working. My college educated mother, at one point was making more then $200 000 a year, was working as a seamstress in our basement, sowing shirts for $1.50 each for 1 year to support our family. She never said a word about it being too hard. She did what needed to be done, and forgot about her pride, her education etc. Luckily, that situation only lasted a year, but it marked me as a child.

HOWEVER, you two do not have children. It is only you and him, so I think that he can leave his job if he really wants too. If I were in that situation, I would not put my fiance through that, because his happiness is important, and I can wait another few months before buying a house. You don''t own it yet, so it wouldn''t be like losing your house.

Good Luck!

 

[violet02]

Date: 2/4/2009 3:11:44 PM
Author: MC
Well, you''re probably not going to like my advice but here: Your husband needs to stick with his job regardless of how much he hates it and go job hunting on the side. Sure, his job isn''t his cup of tea and his managers/employers are jerks, but it cannot be as bad as working at McDonald''s, and even at that establishment, with the job market being so bad, it''s difficult to find a position! I read in the paper, that there was one 7-11 that got over 100 job applications for a $8.00 job. My MIL told me that at her local espresso stand that they got 30 applications in one day and one of them was from a college professor. People are desperate.

Yep, you''re DH is lucky to have a job and FWIW, you said that the company told your DH they cannot afford to give him a raise. What if that truely is the case? What if the company is barely hanging in there.

Oh, also, my other downer. . .with the bleak job market and the chance that just about anyone can be laid off, possibly put the idea of buying a house entirely on the back burner.

I know I sound so pesimistic about the situation, and I''m very sorry to be so, but I am only this way because I live 45 minutes from Microsoft and friends of friends are being laid off (my friend and I had a long talk about this a few days back) and who knows if they can afford their mortgage payments on one salary. Not to mention WAMU, Starbucks, etc. . .

Best of luck to you and your DH, Elle! Hang in there.

I agree with MC as well.

During the dot com boom I was doing work at companies I LOVED. Bottom fell out, companies folded I was out of work for months. I got hired doing a job that wasn''t my first choice by any means... but I needed a job and work is work sometimes. Years later I was still doing that same job despite feeling pretty crappy about it. I can count on more than two hands the number of people I know in jobs they don''t love that have been there for more than 5 years! Some more than 10! Honestly I''d tell him to stick it out for now and look for something on the side. This may sound lame but sometimes you have to ''suck it up'' at your job and tell yourself that it''s ok for the paycheck. Not everyone has the ability to just quit when they don''t like it. I know mentaly it''s better but I can attest to having to do just that many times. It sucks but I survived (that''s just me though).

Until the economy gets better I''d be scared to buy a house, particularly knowing I wanted out of my job.. soon.

Honestly Elle, if the economy was better I''d be saying that it''s more important for your DH to be in a job he loves. And ultimately it is and if he can find another job then he should go for it. His job sounds crappy, he should look around! Even if he has to stick it out for the year he should tell himself it''s not forever.

Best of luck to your DH. I can relate to how frustrated he must feel. I really hope things start getting better for everyone out there.