When will (or did) you consider your engagement "official" ?

[therighttime]

Date: 5/1/2007 2:18:19 AM
Author: surfgirl
If you went around telling everyone you were engaged would he freak out or agree with you? If the former, you''re not, if the latter, you are!

He tells everyone we are engaged and has referred to me as his fiance. He''d love it if I did the same. I, however, haven''t told anyone much of anything. I think I''m very hung up on the officialness of it and not "feeling" engaged.

 

[janinegirly]

righttime--you have a right to a proper proposal! you''ve already told him you don''t need the ring (a big sacrifice coming from a girl

), but why can''t he plan a romantic night and ask you to be his wife? then you can go shopping for bands together and start officially planning!

i think you need to tell him you need this in order to feel engaged. you need to be formally asked and you need to feel he''s made an effort to allow you to feel engaged.

 

[therighttime]

Date: 5/1/2007 9:53:32 AM
Author: janinegirly
righttime--you have a right to a proper proposal! you''ve already told him you don''t need the ring (a big sacrifice coming from a girl

), but why can''t he plan a romantic night and ask you to be his wife? then you can go shopping for bands together and start officially planning!

i think you need to tell him you need this in order to feel engaged. you need to be formally asked and you need to feel he''s made an effort to allow you to feel engaged.

We talked about everything and we both think that when we are able to set the date I''ll feel more official and be able to make plans. Hopefully we can do that within the week since we only have a couple months to get things planned. I honestly don''t think any sort of "proper proposal" would make any difference to me. It''s already very clear that he wants to get married, I want to get married.... and we are heading that way. Maybe since I am older and this is the 2nd time around for me I just don''t feel the need for certain things. ALTHOUGH something IS missing in the equation that leaves me feeling un engaged. Like I said, we talked about it and both feel once we have a date set and I can shout that to the world I will feel "engaged." Several people posted that they didn''t need/want/have any sort of formality and are just as happily engaged or married.

 

[_Sarah_]

My boyfriend asked me over a year ago... just the question will you marry me? i said yes. but it was while we where at lunch. there was no or hasnt been (yet) get down on one knee or anything else special with a ring. to us we are engaged but to everyone else we are not, it will be offical when he really proposes the next time i see him, hopefully in a couple months!
some people need a ring to be engaged offically, but i personally do not.