When you’re feeling sad what helps you feel better?

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I ma grateful I don't get sad often. Disappointed or upset perhaps. So when that happen, I listen up great music and watch funny movies. Or stuff like this:

cheers--Sharon

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Taking my dogs for a long walk.

I think what works about that is a combination of things: the joy I receive from giving another living creature pleasure; physical exercise; and seeing nature (I love the Japanese concept of a "nature bath"). I even recently listened to a science podcast that talked about how going for a walk helps sort and file your experiences from the day in your brain. I don't remember the exact mechanics, but it was something about the visual sweeping left and right a human does while walking that helps the brain process the experiences from the day in a healthy way.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

I am preparing for the loss of my elderly dog, Daisy. She has end stage kidney failure. We don't know how long it will be, but probably a few weeks at most. We lost our other two elderly girls a little over a year ago, so when we lose Daisy, it will truly be the end of an era for us.

 

[canuk-gal]

Taking my dogs for a long walk.

I think what works about that is a combination of things: the joy I receive from giving another living creature pleasure; physical exercise; and seeing nature (I love the Japanese concept of a "nature bath"). I even recently listened to a science podcast that talked about how going for a walk helps sort and file your experiences from the day in your brain. I don't remember the exact mechanics, but it was something about the visual sweeping left and right a human does while walking that helps the brain process the experiences from the day in a healthy way.

Do you mean like EMDR?

I walk home from work. Helps me to clear my head which I find therapeutic. But I like walking regardless--and I like seeing peoples cute pets and stopping to pet them. And the smiles and hello's that go along with that. Yes, nature bath.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

Do you mean like EMDR?

I walk home from work. Helps me to clear my head which I find therapeutic. But I like walking regardless--and I like seeing peoples cute pets and stopping to pet them. And the smiles and hello's that go along with that. Yes, nature bath.

You know, I hadn't heard about EMDR, so just now googled it. But yes, that sounds like what the podcast was describing, so I guess we naturally do it while walking. Next time you are on a walk, notice how your eyes constantly sweep left and right in front of you. I didn't even realize I did that until after I listened to the show.

I'm trying to remember which podcast it was that I heard about it on ...hmmm...maybe Science Friday (NPR)? Or Hidden Brain? Or All in the Mind (ABC Radio) ? Sorry, I don't remember, but am guessing it was one of those.

 

[missy]

Smelling the salt air. Hearing the waves crash. Seeing the beauty that is the ocean
It's cathartic

 

[autumngems]

A nice walk on the beach, collecting shells.

 

[Mjay]

Margaritas
And playing in my jewelry box

 

[autumngems]

Smelling the salt air. Hearing the waves crash. Seeing the beauty that is the ocean
It's cathartic

Are you East coast or West coast?

 

[missy]

Are you East coast or West coast?

We’re in the NE. Jersey shore

 

[missy]

@autumngems the town of long branch plants palm trees on their beach every summer. It’s hysterical imo

 

[autumngems]

@autumngems the town of long branch plants palm trees on their beach every summer. It’s hysterical imo

every summer, that's nuts? lol

 

[autumngems]

We’re in the NE. Jersey shore

Pretty, I am in coastal NC

 

[seaurchin]

One thing that helps when I'm sad is to snuggle with my honey or the cat, but the cat always gets away so mainly it's just with my honey.

 

[missy]

Pretty, I am in coastal NC

That’s a beautiful place to live. The only downside (where we are too) are hurricanes. I don’t like the storms but other than that (and the expense) I love living here

 

[missy]

One thing that helps when I'm sad is to snuggle with my honey or the cat, but the cat always gets away so mainly it's just with my honey.

Haha same. Though Jasper is proving to be a snuggler. I love that about him

 

[RunningwithScissors]

I was thinking about this topic today. So I thought I'd post my musings.

2024 was a difficult year for me and my family (for internal family reasons), and, as we all head in to 2025 I'm scared sh@tless about the incoming administration. So anxiety levels are up! I'm trying hard to focus on things that bring me and my family peace and small moments of joy.

Here are the things that truly bring me moments of happiness -- and -- things that "level" me when my insides are tied in knots. Some of these are "fluffy" and can be considered superficial by the outside world. But they are the things that lift my mood or calm my worried brain when I need them, so please, no judging. I write this list in the spirit of being helpful because I get inspired by seeing what helps other people.

(In no particular order)

1. Making, and drinking with intention, a warm cup of tea. I an entire cabinet of various teas. Which one I select depends on the time of day, my momentary whim, my gut health (sometimes black tea is too strong) etc. Inhaling the steam coming off a cup of tea is so transportive. And the mild caffeine of a green or white tea can both calm my brain and also give my body a little "umph". Sitting peacefully while drinking a warm cup of tea really clears the mind and picks up the spirit.

2. Having one-on-one time with one of my dogs (I currently have three rescued babies). Sometimes that means sitting on the couch with a kiddo and stroking her and talking to her, or, it can mean playing a lively game of toss the squeaky and racing around the house, or it can mean a car ride to the frozen yogurt place which welcomes her with a pup cup and getting a frozen yogurt for myself and sitting outside on a bench to watch the people go by.

3. Having a glass of wine and being in the kitchen with my husband. He cooks for us and I'm the sous chef, or the saucier. We work as a team. He regales me with office politics or we talk about our consulting business. The wine takes the rough edges of the day off, and is an art form that we both appreciate.

4. Planning a trip! These can be a year or more away. It gives us something to look forward to and daydream about. Also, talking about trips past: the places, people and food we've encountered, sometimes even the narrow "escapes" we've had (sometimes the trips take us into places most Americans don't venture). While there are quite a few downsides about being in academia, one of the upsides is that my husband has as wonderful research account which pays for much of our travel as long as its a place he can incorporate in his research.

5. Listening to classical music live and in person. Our city has an amazing symphony orchestra and opera. We are the kind of people whose work-lives engulf their whole lives, so in order for us to have a "weekend" type day, we need to put an event on the calendar and make ourselves go. So, we started doing season tickets to the symphony and opera a few years ago and it has improved our lives! It's a day to feel beautiful, to wear our sparklies (often DH and I wear matching brooches!) to see artists performing their hearts out for the glory of their art from, and to enjoy an afternoon or evening out on the town. Sometimes we (and I believe people in general) need to get out of their immediate environment and do something totally different. Escape the mundane!

6. Thoroughly organizing and cleaning a small portion of my house. I looooove having my space neat and tidy. I hate chaos and mess. But life is messy and clutter happens to all of us! So taking an afternoon to tidy up one discrete area makes me feel so much lighter on my feet. I can SEE the results! How many things in life have that kind of immediate gratification? I adore my closet being beautiful and easy and tidy. Or the kitchen island. Getting through the pile of mail from the week makes me feel like a champ!

7. A long, hot, sudsy bubble bath while listening to "spa" type music or ocean waves. Right before bed is when I take mine. I love Johnson's Baby Bath. Supposedly it has some type of baby calming pheromone in it. Who know if its real or not, but, the placebo effect is real! And it smells so good!

8. A good massage. I believe human touch is incredibly healing. It took me awhile to find a good masseuse, but they are out there. I don't get one super often because I am watching my wallet, but when I need one, it does wonders.

9. Loving meditation. I'm not good at this yet, but I'm working on it. It's a distinct type of meditation where you try hard to think loving thoughts about people around you and even strangers. It really does shift my mood and help me not feel cranky about people which is my natural state. It makes you feel more connected to others and is supposed to lengthen your telomers too. Seriously.

10. Writing down the things I've accomplished. Even though I work really hard and really long hours, my work is usually of the invisible kind. I don't have perfect line items on my resume that others can easily understand. Often, my blue moments come when I feel I feel down about that. So writing a list of the concrete things I've accomplished reminds me of that fact that I'm proud of how I have spent my time on this earth.


Cheers!

 

[jaysonsmom]

I agree with most of the above post by @RunningwithScissors!

Also adding:
1) Yoga
2) planning and making a magnificent meal for the family
3) Singing at the top of my voice in the shower

 

[missy]

Sometimes a good cry brings relief and really helps me feel better.
I wish it was that simple all of the time.
But yes, a good cry can be cathartic and I am comfortable with letting it all out.

Thank you everyone who has shared so far.
Big hugs to everyone who needs it and sending love and light your way.
Life is challenging and sometimes the only thing we can do is take it one day at a time.
One hour at a time. One minute at a time.


(((((((HUGS)))))))))



"It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.''

 

[caf]

Snuggling with my dogs, playing with them, walking them, etc.