Who does which chores, etc. (husband or you?)

[zoebartlett]

Thanks ladies. . .I am going to copy down your lists so I can keep track of what I'm missing here in the house! lol

The reason I asked is because I stay at home and my DH works. I feel like I should get a job, but am the sort who easily stresses and couldn't handle full-time work plus everything else. I DO do everything so all the household chores PLUS a job and tending to two elementary school kids would wear me out. I'm not sure how bad it is, exactly, but nobody will even stick a bowl in the dishwasher, so I feel a bit annoyed (I ordered from Sephora to help make up for it! They had a 20% off sale (friends/family)...not sure if it's still on! I'm going to get a handbag for my b-day as my next "paycheck.")

I'm lucky to stay home, but at the same time....IF I did go back to work, I know things wouldn't change! Sooo... well.

All you gals do SO MUCH, though!

MC -- I'd suggest having your kids help with the cleaning, etc. There are definitely things they could do to help you out, plus, it would teach them responsibility. You could make a chore chart with stickers or something if that would help with the motivation factor.
Good luck! I know you work from home, but still, it doesn't seem fair that you're left to do everything on your own.

ETA: I hadn't seen Jennifer's post until after I wrote mine. Aside from your kids, your husband could do something too, right? I bet if you wrote out every single thing you do and are in charge of and show it to them (well, at least your husband), I bet they'd/he'd contribute to household chores a bit more.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

[/quote]

Make things change. There's no reason on earth why anyone should put up with that unless they want to. You don't have to do everything, and you don't have to accept that no one will take their share. It might be more effortful that doing the chores in the beginning, but it would be worth it![/quote]

It's mostly a matter of IF I worked, it would be too much. My kids do need to start on chores, however. The only two chores they do include vaccuming and cleaning their rooms. I won't let them or my DH touch the laundry since mine is all delicates & handwashables. Dh does work LONG hours. He gets up at 4 am. I get up with him for about 15 min then go back till 6:30.

On a fabulous note, my Sephora package is here! Yippee

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Thanks ladies. . .I am going to copy down your lists so I can keep track of what I'm missing here in the house! lol

The reason I asked is because I stay at home and my DH works. I feel like I should get a job, but am the sort who easily stresses and couldn't handle full-time work plus everything else. I DO do everything so all the household chores PLUS a job and tending to two elementary school kids would wear me out. I'm not sure how bad it is, exactly, but nobody will even stick a bowl in the dishwasher, so I feel a bit annoyed (I ordered from Sephora to help make up for it! They had a 20% off sale (friends/family)...not sure if it's still on! I'm going to get a handbag for my b-day as my next "paycheck.")

I'm lucky to stay home, but at the same time....IF I did go back to work, I know things wouldn't change! Sooo... well.

All you gals do SO MUCH, though!

MC -- I'd suggest having your kids help with the cleaning, etc. There are definitely things they could do to help you out, plus, it would teach them responsibility. You could make a chore chart with stickers or something if that would help with the motivation factor.
Good luck! I know you work from home, but still, it doesn't seem fair that you're left to do everything on your own.

ETA: I hadn't seen Jennifer's post until after I wrote mine. Aside from your kids, your husband could do something too, right? I bet if you wrote out every single thing you do and are in charge of and show it to them (well, at least your husband), I bet they'd/he'd contribute to household chores a bit more.

He was doing some stuff till we moved to this apt. It's just now over the last two months that it's gone from some help to none at all. I'm not complaining, just trying to put in perspective by hearing what other mothers do because I anticipated most do more work (but wanted to hear exactly how much more). Before having kids, we both worked and split up the duties. Now he works 55 hrs a week and has a 20 min commute each way where I am home and could be doing laundry while here on the computer.

Kids DO need to start more chores. They both just turned 8 and 10 so are capable of doing specific things. It's hard when I'm a bit of a control freak. The vaccuuming is good though...seems to entertain my younger son. We did the sticker chart a few years back. I think they were too young and I wasn't good about consistancy. Will work on that more!

 

[Jennifer W]

I do significantly less around the house than DH, because a)I'm bone idle and b) I don't want to expose our child to gender roles. He does work longer hours and have a longer commute, but it's just always been his realm, while I help. I think the person who does the most ends up 'directing' the tasks, so the others in the household actually see themselves as "helping" rather than doing their share of a communal activity, be it chores or parenting.

I think that if you really want to change things so that you can find work and enjoy the challenges of a job outside of home, then you might need to change the mindsets of the people you live with rather than just allocate tasks (that may or may not be done in the longer term). It's hard to be the person directing tasks and leave them undone if the workforce lets you down

 

[Trekkie]

This is such a cool thread! I'm not married yet but I've been spending more and more time in here!

Reading this thread has made me feel incredibly guilty.

We've been living together for a year and engaged for three months. No children but we are thinking of adding a puppy to our little family of two. He works a standard 40 hour week but travels internationally for business a few times a year. I am a full time student and general layabout. Our chores are divided as follows:

Me - laundry
Him - everything else

Occasionally I'll chop an onion. If it's a special occasion I might even cook something, but that's the exception rather than the rule.

We used to have a cleaning lady but let her go a few weeks ago. Since then he's been doing it all on his own. Partly because I'm not very domesticated but mostly just because I'm lazy!

I do pull my weight in other ways, or at least, that's what I tell myself. I negotiate all pricing for all important purchases. Furniture, cell phone contracts, lease agreements, diamonds, holidays, cars. The money saved by my thriftiness indirectly paid for our cleaning lady. I suppose at some point I'll have to start interviewing someone new.

 

[Jennifer W]

Trekkie, were we separated at birth? I didn't get the housekeeping gene either.

Jen

 

[Trekkie]

Trekkie, were we separated at birth? I didn't get the housekeeping gene either.

Jen

Must be!

My FI is currently in Kenya. I've been living on All Bran Flakes, hot chocolate and KFC ever since. It's a good thing they put lettuce on those burgers or I'd probably be down with scurvy by now!

Two days ago my BFF told me I needed some proper nutrition and insisted I make a salad. I dutifully went down to the shops to buy lettuce and salad dressing. I put them in the fridge but for some bizarre reason they haven't yet turned into a salad.

This cooking thing is harder than it looks!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

This is such a cool thread! I'm not married yet but I've been spending more and more time in here!

Reading this thread has made me feel incredibly guilty.

We've been living together for a year and engaged for three months. No children but we are thinking of adding a puppy to our little family of two. He works a standard 40 hour week but travels internationally for business a few times a year. I am a full time student and general layabout. Our chores are divided as follows:

Me - laundry
Him - everything else

Occasionally I'll chop an onion. If it's a special occasion I might even cook something, but that's the exception rather than the rule.

We used to have a cleaning lady but let her go a few weeks ago. Since then he's been doing it all on his own. Partly because I'm not very domesticated but mostly just because I'm lazy!

I do pull my weight in other ways, or at least, that's what I tell myself. I negotiate all pricing for all important purchases. Furniture, cell phone contracts, lease agreements, diamonds, holidays, cars. The money saved by my thriftiness indirectly paid for our cleaning lady. I suppose at some point I'll have to start interviewing someone new.

I'm kinda in the same boat. . .(aka a bit unmotivated, of sorts).

I did a two-day test and didn't do any housework. Well, guess what happened? I've been smashing into walls and banging my legs into stuff. . .yes, the apt is a huge disaster and there is no where to step without either tripping or crashing. Not sure if I'm not doing anything because I'm bored of picking up, if it's because I'm training my kids to pick up their own stuff, OR if I want to demonstrate to my DH that without me all things go to h*ll! lol

 

[MichelleCarmen]

Trekkie, were we separated at birth? I didn't get the housekeeping gene either.

Jen

Must be!

My FI is currently in Kenya. I've been living on All Bran Flakes, hot chocolate and KFC ever since. It's a good thing they put lettuce on those burgers or I'd probably be down with scurvy by now!

Two days ago my BFF told me I needed some proper nutrition and insisted I make a salad. I dutifully went down to the shops to buy lettuce and salad dressing. I put them in the fridge but for some bizarre reason they haven't yet turned into a salad.

This cooking thing is harder than it looks!

Trekkie - I find that if I buy all the salad ingredients seperately, they go bad, but if I go to a salad bar and put together one there, I'll eat it. One yummy addition is sunflower seeds! Helps create a satisfying salad!

 

[zoebartlett]

MC -- I feel the same way you do. While my husband does do some things, a lot of them get done because I nag. I HATE nagging ( I don't want to be *that* person) but if I didn't, our place would go downhill quickly. My husband never really made it through the bachelor-ways of his past. If I ever went on strike, I'd hate to see what our place would look like!

Trekkie -- I find that when someone else makes salads (like at a restaurant), they taste much better than ones we make at home.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

MC -- I feel the same way you do. While my husband does do some things, a lot of them get done because I nag. I HATE nagging ( I don't want to be *that* person) but if I didn't, our place would go downhill quickly. My husband never really made it through the bachelor-ways of his past. If I ever went on strike, I'd hate to see what our place would look like!

Trekkie -- I find that when someone else makes salads (like at a restaurant), they taste much better than ones we make at home.

A friend of mine told me that some resturants rinse their lettuce in sugar water. Her husband worked at an establishment that did that.

 

[zoebartlett]

MC -- I feel the same way you do. While my husband does do some things, a lot of them get done because I nag. I HATE nagging ( I don't want to be *that* person) but if I didn't, our place would go downhill quickly. My husband never really made it through the bachelor-ways of his past. If I ever went on strike, I'd hate to see what our place would look like!

Trekkie -- I find that when someone else makes salads (like at a restaurant), they taste much better than ones we make at home.

A friend of mine told me that some resturants rinse their lettuce in sugar water. Her husband worked at an establishment that did that.

Really? I've never heard of that!

 

[MichelleCarmen]

MC -- I feel the same way you do. While my husband does do some things, a lot of them get done because I nag. I HATE nagging ( I don't want to be *that* person) but if I didn't, our place would go downhill quickly. My husband never really made it through the bachelor-ways of his past. If I ever went on strike, I'd hate to see what our place would look like!

Trekkie -- I find that when someone else makes salads (like at a restaurant), they taste much better than ones we make at home.

A friend of mine told me that some resturants rinse their lettuce in sugar water. Her husband worked at an establishment that did that.

Really? I've never heard of that!

You know how Olive Garden's salads taste really good? lol Maybe it could also be the salad dressing? But...for those who have that on the side, still the salads do taste great! Nothing else from there does... lol

 

[diamondringlover]

We both work full time, he works 3 12 hour days on the weekend and I work 4 ten hour days during the week, he cooks and does dishes when I am working and I cook (or order out lol) and do dishes when he is working. He does about half the laundry and I do the other half, I still do most of the house cleaning, but he does most of the grocery shopping. I tend to clean more then he does, but he does maintence on the cars and the household stuff that I cant...it works out....I just wish he would vacuum or dust once in awhile.....

eta our sons our 24 and 13, 24 year old doesnt live with us and the 13 year old does help with some chores.