Who loses most in a breakup?

[MissAva]

A great deal has been said in the few months I have been on Pricescope about living together prior to marriage and the ups and downs of that situation. This morning MSN Money ranthis article about the end of these relationships and what happens and how to prevent those things from happening. Over all I thought it was intreasting. What do ya''ll think?

 

[Lord Summerisle]

hmm me and Caz are living together at the moment.. but as regards the house - we bought together - and both our names are on the deeds...

 

[windy1365]

It really depends on the other person when it comes to the end. I moved in with my ex-boyfriend. He totally changed and became overbearing. I decided to move out, and he took all my keys and refused to let me have my belongings. Anything that we had bought together, he refushed to share with me. The police said that he only had to give me what was obviously mine (female clothing) and anything I had a receipt for.

This guy was very vengeful. He stole my college diploma and many other things that he though had importance to me. Even shoes that he knew my great uncle (who had passed away) had bought me. He took them b/c he thought they meant something to me (they were just shoes to me, though). He stole my leather jackets.

This was a very bad experience for me. I ended up having to go to the police b/c he was stalking and harrassing me. It would have been so much easier had I never moved in with him. When I was ready to end the relationship, I could have just said so on the phone and continued to hang up on him instead of being forced to deal with a ''crazy'' b/c he had my stuff.

I did have a close call financially, though. I got ready to purchase a new car. My old one was worth $9k, so I was trading it in. I was going to get this boyfriend at the time to cosign with me b/c we thought he had really good credit. But, we got to the dealership - where my best friend worked - and the financial guy there refused to let two people who were not married cosign on the car together. He took me in the room by myself and said that he would let me get the car by myself - but not with the guy b/c he had seen it happen too many times before - the people break up and it is a mess. My credit was actually better than the ex''s anyway. So, I got the car by myself. Thank goodness!!! He probably would have tried to take my car away even though he wouldn''t have made one payment on it and the downpayment would have been mine.

Anyway - I just wanted to share my horror story about moving in with someone before getting married. This is how it can go really bad!!! But, on a positive note, I moved in with my now husband after we got engaged, and everything worked out perfectly. You just have to be careful because there are some crazy people out there, and you don''t even know for a long time. My ex and I were friends for a year before we dated, and he used to be so nice, so you would think I would have known him!

 

[MissAva]

Oh I was not trying to say if people ought to move in together, that is a highly personal choice. A short while ago there was a thread about this on the LIW thread. There are also some great articles about roomate agreements on MSN if anyone is intreasted.

 

[websailor]

I think it was an interesting article and had some interesting things for couples to think about. Thanks!

Obviously it doesn''t quite apply to my situation (being married to cflutist for a while), but when we first got together and were living together, these were some of the considerations on our minds - we fell into that "older couples with serious assets" category. Having both just gotten out of divorces in our lives, you could say we were a bit gun-shy with each other and our assets.

Luckily for us, we were able to talk about this touchy area and work most things out.

And that I think is a key item in any relationship - good communication.

Note that even with good communication, sometimes your partner changes. The article points out that this should be thought about too - good advice I think.