Who''s Walking you Down the Aisle?

[Lauren8211]

Just wondering if any of you ladies out there have unique situations when it comes to your wedding. For instance, I have a step dad that I''m not close with, and a biological dad that I don''t see. I plan to have my brother walk me down the aisle, but I hope I don''t offend my step-dad!

Anyone else have a situation with step parents, biological parents, etc. How are you going to handle it?

 

[HeadOverHeels4James]

I don''t think you will offend him! Why should you have someone walk you down that really isn''t a part of your life? I think its awesome your having your brother!! I''m very close with my dad, and he will be walking me down the aisle.

 

[Kayakqueen83]

Oh I feel you on your situation. My parents started dating when they were 14, married for 30 years, and just got divorced 3 years ago. It''s pretty uncomfortable.... so much so, that I don''t want to even think about it until I have to!

Mom wants to walk me down the isle and Dad wants to walk me down the isle and I don''t want to be inbetween my two divorced parents on my wedding day (still too many feelings about the situation to deal with on my wedding day) So... I''m thinking Screw it, I''ve been walking on my own since I was a baby. Might as well walk down the isle by myself!

Good luck in figureing it out.

 

[gwendolyn]

It will depend on where J and I get married. If we marry in the US (where I''m from), then my dad will (if there''s an aisle; we''re not sure how typical our wedding is going to be). If we marry in the UK (where J is from), then I have no idea. It''s possible my parents wouldn''t be able to make it if it was in England. If that''s the case, I would probably walk down by myself, or maybe J and I would walk together. Not sure.

 

[Lauren8211]

HeadOverHeels4James: Yeah, I really hope I don''t offend him. I suppose I just feel guilty because he and my mom have been married since I was 8, and I feel like I should have a closer relationship with him -- and I don''t. I thought maybe I might give a speech at the reception and make special mention of everything he''s done for me, just so he knows I wasnt trying to snub him.

Kayakqueen83: Man, that is a sticky situation. At least I don''t have to deal with animosity between estranged parents. My dad just flat out isn''t around, and if he was, my mom and him always got along, anyway. Mostly for me it would just be my step-dad feeling shafted. Sounds like it is your best choice to do it yourself!

Gwendolyn: That''s pretty awesome that your choice of places is between to COUNTRIES. I wish I could get married overseas! Wouldn''t it be tough if your parents didn''t make it? I would be really bummed!

 

[gwendolyn]

Date: 6/5/2008 9:35:44 AM
Author: Lauren8211
Gwendolyn: That's pretty awesome that your choice of places is between to COUNTRIES. I wish I could get married overseas! Wouldn't it be tough if your parents didn't make it? I would be really bummed!

Thanks for your excitement, darlin', but it sounds much more glamorous than it would be in real life.

We've got all kinds of legal entanglements we have to sort out (interviews, documents, visas, fees, etc.) for us to get married, and we'll probably end up doing it wherever we plan to settle for the long term...which is kind of the opposite of what I always wanted my wedding to be. Always wanted to fly off somewhere gorgeous and romantic like Italy or France and get married there, but with all the stuff we have to go through just to get permission to marry, it seems like a bad idea (if it's even allowed) for us to get married out of one of our countries of residence. It's already really complicated...

Bah. International relationships are not as dreamy as they look in the movies!

 

[aliciagirl]

I was adopted by my aunt when I was 10, so I definitely have a unique situation. I know who my dad is but we''ve never spoken. My mom was married to a man that I was very close through childhood, but they divorced when I was 8 or 9. So, I don''t feel comfortable walking with them.

I plan to walk halfway by myself and have SO meet me to walk the other half. It''s not the moment our lives begin together, at that point we''ll have been together almost 5 years, so I feel like it''s symbolic of us continuing what we''ve already started together.

 

[jcrow]

my grandfather walked me down the aisle. my dad hasn''t been in the picture since oh, about age 5. i don''t have any brothers or male cousins or anything. so it was my grandfather.

 

[Dreamgirl]

In the previous years I have thought it would be nice if I could get my Mom to walk me down the isle along with my Dad. I don't know if she would want to do that though, or watch me come down the isle. She is my best friend though and I would want her involved like that in some other way than just being the Mother of the Bride because she means so much to me.

 

[Pushin40]

I feel for you guys wth the divorce situations. It's so hard to "do the right thing" and make sure no one feels hurt, etc.

My parents are both gone, and I have no male figures in my family that I'm close with.

I will just walk on my own - symbolically I have been on my own for a very long time so it makes sense!

 

[bensbride]

My dad will escort me down the aisle...or both my mom and dad. My sisters have different mothers and a step-dad that they''ve known as their other dad since they were very young and they both did it differently. My oldest sister walked by herself, my other sister had my dad walk her down the aisle. My close friend didn''t know her father and her brother walked her down the aisle. Another friend had both her parents...and it was lovely. I think it should just be however you feel most comfortable. To me, the whole "father seliing his daughter as a possession" concept is a thing of the past and not an issue in American culture at this point in time. I know some people are super against it for that reason, but to me, personally, it isn''t an issue. I own my house, I have a college degree, I am fairly independent, but I still want to be on my father''s arm as he gives his blessing. In my mind, its more symbolism of combining families than of ownership.

 

[Bia]

My father will be walking me down the isle...I like the idea of my mother too, but we''ll see.

I agree in that it has nothing to do with ownership and the handing over of property (not anymore anyway). To me it has everything to do with something being very meaningful and symbolic.

 

[fieryred33143]

My father passed away when I was 13. My mother will be walking me down the isle and my brothers will share what is supposed to be the father/daughter dance.

 

[moderatelypoorstudent]

hmmm....
my parents are divorced and I have a sort of step dad and we''re not reaaaalllly close, but I do appreciate that he''s always been there when I needed him (picking me up from school, packing lunch, etc.) And my Dad and I ... used to be much closer... but honestly things have been very rocky since college, and grad school. So.... we''re not really talking much nowadays.

I guess maybe I''ll walk down by myself so no one feels upset. But I think I would have liked to have my mom do it. It''s just too confusing now.

Any advice?

Ah being around here always cheers me up a bit. You girls are so upbeat!

 

[wishful]

I don''t have a unique situation...I just don''t want to have a wedding. Too much stress! I think I''d rather get married in a simple ceremony on the beach in Hawaii and call it a honeymoon!

 

[kittybean]

I will be doing it the way that''s traditional in my culture--my husband-to-be and I will walk down the aisle together. This might be a good solution to your conundrum, Lauren! It''s also a great way to symbolize starting the marriage on equal footing--no "giving away" of anyone to anyone else, just the bride and groom starting their life together as partners.

 

[bobbin]

My dad is in my life and although we had a troubled relationship before, we are fine now. However, I really feel uncomfortable with the symbolism involved, so I was thinking that I would get my nephew (who is 7 now, will probably be around 9 at the time) to walk me down the aisle! I don''t want to offend my father though, however I think he will understand as he is very non-traditional. They got married in the registry office- without anyone''s knowledge- three months after I (the youngest by three years) was born.

 

[emeraldlover1]

My parents got divorced when I was in college. My dad has remarried and doesn''t consider myself or my two yonger sisters part of his life so he won''t even be invited. However, I''m not sure what I am going to do yet. My mom was there for us when my dad wasn''t but my mom has a bf for a few years that wants to be involved. I mentioned to her that I wasn''t comfortable including him if he wasn''t going to be in her life for a long time. I''m not that close with him but he is very nice and I want my mom to be happy but I''m not going to make the decision till the time comes.

On the other hand I will have a lot of potential stressors to deal with besides this. My sister has already informed me that she will be my maid of honor and will be wearing a two piece dress. WTF!!!! I just told her we aren''t engaged yet and we will see when the time comes but that there is no way people in my wedding will be wearing seperates. OH and I have two little sisters so why does she think she is going to be my maid of honor. I love her to death but she lives in a different state and I really want my best friend to be my maid of honor. At this point I''m thinking of having 3!

 

[Lauren8211]

Yeah, my dad won''t be invited either. My parents divorced when I was 6, and I think I''ve seen him only 5 times in the past 10 years... once in the past 5 -- and that was because we attended the same funeral. My mom was surprised that he wouldn''t be invited, but I mean -- I barely even know him. He doesnt even know I have a boyfriend, I don''t think. He doesn''t even have my phone number! I feel like if I did invite him, it would only be out of spite -- to say "Hey, your little girl that you forgot about is getting MARRIED!"

Emerald - Thats crazy that your sis just automatically assumed she was your MOH, and then tells you what she''s wearing! Oh hell no! lol.

My problem is that all my friends are guys -- I don''t know if I have enough people to round up to be my bridesmaids! No sisters, either. This could get very interesting!

 

[IloveAsschers13]

Gosh that is my pet peeve to have people tell me what to do! Like my dad telling me I have to baptize my children... not asking me-TELLING me. I feel like a wedding is something that has to do with you and only you and your SO. If anyone feels differently, that''s their problem. It might step on someone''s toes, but it''s still your thing. Wishful, I always think about doing that. But then I talk to my mom (who eloped) and she said she regrets it every day. She wishes she had a bigger wedding, or at least a wedding she wanted. If that''s what you want - go for it. That''s awesome. I think I am going to have both my parents walk down the aisle- I don''t like the idea of my dad "giving me away" especially since he hasn''t had much input on raising me the past four/five years... he''s just there to pay for things.