Why are ladies at bridal shops so MEAN?!?!!

[AmberGretchen]

Sorry I posted this in the wrong forum, it belongs here. I'm obviously kind of upset...Like the woman who helped me try on my dress today when I went to order it. She kept saying how I should order a size bigger because the sample was a bit stretched out, and making snarky comments about how I looked and my weight. This bridal store has always had really good service and so this woman is the exception, but she sure left a bad taste in my mouth. Last time I was there the woman who helped me even said the dress was a little big. And the owner of the store came by - he knew my MOH from when she had been there trying on BM dresses for another wedding, and he said I looked so good in the dress they should have me model it for their runway show, and then the woman says something like "well yeah but she'd fall down the stairs because its so long on her." WTF?!?!!! I guess she thought she was being funny, and it was kind of long because I'm short, but I mean, its still a nasty and unnecessary thing to say. So now I'm wondering if I'm crazy, but you tell me, I think it fits perfectly, or maybe a little big (see the extra fabric around the waist):

 

[AChiOAlumna]

AG...you've been working so hard to make this dress work for you and it looks beautiful!! Don't let some woman with her own issues and a big mouth stop you from being the princess that you deserve to be on your day!!! If you love the dress and you LOVE the way it looks ON you then to heck with her!!! The manager needs to teach this woman some bridal etiquette and bedside manner...

 

[MelissaSue]

!! I hope you didn''t listen to her !!! You''ve lost so much weight already, and I''m sure you''ll lose even more before that dress comes in, don''t you dare order a bigger size! That dress fits you PERFECTLY! Don''t let that lady get to you! Who cares if the dress is long on you? Thats what HEMs are for. In your reflection in the mirror in that picture, your waist looks ITTY BITTY!

There are one or two associates at my bridal shop who I don''t like either.. most of them are really nice, but some of the others just say stupid things. and I had sort of a bad taste in my mouth regarding them for awhile.. For example, when I called to make an appointment to try on my dress, the woman was kind of snotty with me about wanting to try it on this far before my wedding (excuse me for wanting to see how my dress that I spent $800 on fits!).. so she was asking me why I wanted to try it on.. (why do I need a reason?) so I said to show my sister.. and she says.. "Does your sister live out of town?" and I said "No.. she''s just busy, and hasn''t seen my dress yet." and she said.. "Well I''ll just write down that she lives out of town.."

So of course when we get there, they see that written in the book and my sister looks at me like I''m NUTS...And I felt bad, because the lady probably thought that I lied or something, because it became apparent that my sister did not live out of town.. but the lady that helped me try on my dress and find bridesmaid dresses was really nice and didn''t even seem to care whether or not my sister lived out of town.. thank goodness.

 

[gingerBcookie]

AG - thats just horrible. i''m not just saying this to be nice but the dress looks PERFECT on you. It accentuates your hourglass figure and makes your waist look tiny. she was porbably jealous, there is no call WHATSOEVER to say what she said. if in her professional opinion she really actuall felt as though it would be safer to order a larger size, there are plenty of ways to say that in a tactful, polite, PROFESSIONAL way. If you like the way you look in that size, then that is the size you should order. nobody else''s opinion honestly even matters. The dress is absolutey gorgeous and you are gorgeous in it!

 

[katrina_33]

Just checking out this board, I''m not actually a BIW, still a LIW! But, I''ve heard that bridal store people will often pressure you to order a dress in a size that they know will be too big for you so that they can make the big $$$ in alterations.

And also that some shops cut the tags out of the sample designer dresses so you have no way of finding out which designer it is and thereby comparing prices at different shops (or just knowing how much the designers line typically runs and realizing you''re paying too much)

Has anyone else heard stuff like this?

 

[elephant]

AG,

I''m so sorry that lady was mean to you. You look absolutely gorgeous in your dress. Don''t let her plant any seeds of doubt in your mind. I had the same problem when I went to Tiffany. The lady was like: With your chubby fingers, you should check this style blah, blah, blah. I was like: Whose chubby fingers? Oh, wait, you''re talking about me...?

I can''t believe how beautiful your dress is, especially on you. And I''ve seen your weight loss pics from start to finish and you have done incredible work!! In fact, I have about 70 pounds that I want to lose before I get married and you''re a total inspiration with how hard you''ve worked!

Don''t let some woman with who takes liberties with familiarity (by that I mean, joking around so casually with you when she doesn''t even know you) make you feel bad at all. She''s probably just jealous that you have such a gorgeous dress!

 

[Blue824]

YUCK. That woman sounds horrible. I think she''s just jealous you look so gorgeous in your gown. Really, it is so beautiful on you, and the weight loss really shows. Buy what your measurements call for, whatever the largest measurment corresponds with.

 

[michela002]

Sorry, I just stumbled on this thread and had to say IGNORE THE BITCH. Lol!!

It''s something about women who work in bridal stores, I tell ya. They''re a certain breed, or at least one or two in each store are a breed unto themselves.

E.g. - I went into a bridal store with my best friend and my "second mother" (my mom''s best friend.) When we get in there we finally find a few dresses to try on (it was slim pickings, let me tell you - like Ghetto Bridal or something!) and given nobody had even acknowledged our presence, we took the dresses to the changing rooms. One of the rooms is free, so we hang the dresses up in it. Then a saleswoman says, "Oh, this one [the one next to the one I''d hung the dresses in, a bigger one] is free." So naturally, we move to that one, hang the dresses, I close the curtain and put on a dress.

When I come out to show the girls a saleswoman comes up to me and goes, "Is someone helping you?" and I say "Oh nah, we''re fine." And she says, very snottily, "You need someone to HELP you dress. These are wedding dresses, you know." And for a second, I bite my tongue, thinking don''t be a little brat - then I go nope screw it, and snap back in my most dripping-with-sarcasm, wide-eyed fake innocence voice, "What? They''re WEDDING dresses?" (Like bloody duh!) The woman doesn''t even notice I am totally making fun of her, and says "Yes, they are wedding dresses, and they''re expensive and you need someone to assist you." She basically drags me into the dressing room, pulls the dress off me (jeez good thing I''m not too bashful!), hangs it up and turns to me (in my underwear!) and says, "You can either wait there like that or get dressed and someone will serve you when they have a minute."

At this point I am livid. I just shake my head, as she has already walked out, and get dressed. Another saleswoman comes up to us and goes, "Would you like to try those on?" and I snap, "No, we''re leaving." And my friend says, "Given we were just yelled at by a salesgirl for trying on dresses!" and the other saleswoman is like, "Oh, I''m sorry, it''s a store policy that you have someone assist you trying on the dresses" and I''m like, "Gee, well then perhaps you should MENTION that when people go into the change rooms, dresses in hand, and not just say, ''That one is free!'' with the obvious implication that the room be used to try on the dress!" She is like, "Oh, I''m sorry, we are very short staffed today" and I jsut glare at her and say, "Well, that''s FINE, don''t worry, we''ll go and take another customer off your hands."

Lol!!!

Hmm, that was an aside. But the moral of the story is - ignore them, they are bitches, and go with your gut. I wouldn''t trust bridal store assistants with my used gum, let alone any important decisions!

 

[AGBF]

Date: 8/27/2005 2:57:29 AM
Author: Finally Decisive!
When I come out to show the girls a saleswoman comes up to me and goes, ''Is someone helping you?'' and I say ''Oh nah, we''re fine.'' And she says, very snottily, ''You need someone to HELP you dress. These are wedding dresses, you know.'' And for a second, I bite my tongue, thinking don''t be a little brat - then I go nope screw it, and snap back in my most dripping-with-sarcasm, wide-eyed fake innocence voice, ''What? They''re WEDDING dresses?''

I love this story!!!

I was married in 1977 but this thread reminded me of how hurt I was when I went into a bridal shop and asked for... maybe a 14? (In those days it was more like a 12 now.) A woman who worked there said, "I''m sorry, but we don''t carry the larger sizes"!!! So I had to leave!

I can repost my bridal photo here. I may not have looked like a fashion model, but no one then or now ould have called me "large". It was just bizarre!!!

Deborah

 

[AGBF]

Here is the bride in "a larger size" she was (most luckily) able to find a dress to contain her bulk somewhere. Since I planned my wedding in one month I had no time to lose weight between looking for a dress and getting married, either! So what you see here is what went into the bridal shop to be turned away!!!

Deb

 

[Lorelei]

What an old witch - you looked lovely Deb and to Amber TAKE NO NOTICE YOU LOOK GREAT

 

[icekid]

seriously AG, tell that witch to get lost. I just cannot understand why these women would want to make you feel bad in your freaking wedding gown. I think they just have serious issues of their own and are taking it out on you.

MelissaSue- I would love to hear your thoughts on good dress shops to check out in Buffalo. I would love to spend my winter break trying on dresses

 

[Jennifer5973]

Date: 8/26/2005 11:52:47 PM
Author: AChiOAlumna
AG...you''ve been working so hard to make this dress work for you and it looks beautiful!! Don''t let some woman with her own issues and a big mouth stop you from being the princess that you deserve to be on your day!!! If you love the dress and you LOVE the way it looks ON you then to heck with her!!! The manager needs to teach this woman some bridal etiquette and bedside manner...

Bingo. Perfectly expressed.

Forget about that witch. I had a similar experience (At the time, I was like, "sorry, I didn''t know 5 ft 6 in, size 10 was such a fat slob."

)

BTW, you are beautiful in your dress--just amazing. You have a beautiful, perfectly proportioned shape and *Newsflash* you are so NOT fat.

 

[MelissaSue]

IceKid - I''ve been to LOTS of bridal shops.. especially in my bridesmaid dress shops..

The only one that I can tell you first hand to stay away from is Clara Milas (Clinton St, West Seneca) .. YES, they have a ton of dresses, probably too many! but they are tag cutters, and very snooty, and the associate that helped me when I was dress shopping was absolutely clueless.. Told her I wanted a lace sheath.. LOTS of those exist, I''m sure they had more than one in the store.. but the only thing REMOTELY close that she found was a VERY VERY mermaidy lace thing... then she kept pulling out these really informal (And ugly, in my opinion) satin sheath things.. Didn''t find ONE dress I liked there.. Then I went back last week bridesmaid dress shopping, got the SAME stupid associate.. Told her I was looking for a bridesmaid dress with thicker straps, but not a high neck, and no beading.. She pulls out THREE DRESSES, all which have high necks, and two out of the three have a LOT Of beading! Total waste of time.. And they don''t even tell you the designers for the bridesmaid dresses. Its ridiculous.

The shop where my dress is from is Bridal Chateau (Wehrle Dr, Williamsville) . I haven''t heard ANYONE say anything bad about them EVER. Like I said above, I had a few rough experiences there, but more often than not their service is EXCELLENT! They don''t have a HUGE selection of bridal dresses, but I found more dresses that I liked there, than anywhere else.

I also tried on dresses at Occasions. (Northtown Plaza, sheridan Dr, Amherst) I''ve never recieved outstanding service there, but they also have never been rude to me, or unhelpful. It seems like they have more of a self-service attitude, more like if you were shopping in a regular store. My mom and I tried on all the dresses a lone there, the girl didn''t come in the rooom with us, but did help pin me in a few times.

If you want to go to David''s I''d recommend the one in Blasdell by Mckinley mall more than the Niagara Falls Boulevard one. Its a quieter store=better service. Thats where I went, had a very dedicated salesperson, where as when Iw ent with my friend to the NFB one, the woman was running all over the place!

I''ve heard bad things about Bridals By D, especially if you are on a smallish budget, but I''ve also heard people who are really happy with them. I was too intimidated by the bad things I heard to ever go in there, even though they are RIGHT near where I work.

I have also looked around in Victorias (Sheridan dr, williamsville), and Classics Bridal (Cheektowaga) but only for bridesmaid dresses.. So I can''t say anything too much either way about those.. I know they keep the tags in at least though!

 

[flutterby]

I think the dress is stunning on you. And if you dont want to spend a ton of money on alterations, dont listen to her. As someone who has worked in retail, I can say, she is probably been in the field too long, and is simply bitter looking at some beautiful girl who has so much going for her. Dont let her bitterness affect your wedding, it isnt worth it.

 

[Minny]

I agree with everyone else -- you look BEAUTIFUL in your dress, and it will fit you perfectlyl!! I don''t know why bridal shop employees tend to have such attitudes......it does kind of make it hard, but don''t let it ruin your experience. Congratulations on ordering your dress!!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Thanks everyone - I feel much better, and I LOVED the stories - Deb, you looked gorgeous and not even remotely large as a bride!

My MOH/best friend was also making me feel better yesterday by joking with me - she thought it was obscene that I even had to order the size I did order (a 12), considering my street size is a size 6 in jeans, and usually an 8 up top (because of the good ol'' 34DDs...

).

Anyway, thanks so much everyone for the nice comments - it really does help to know that I''m not crazy and that the dress really does fit, not just in my brain. And talk about some nice motivation to lose those last 13 lbs!!

 

[bling*diva*]

~~I think that you look amazing in your dress, and it fits perfectly. Obviously this lady is jealous or something because I don''t see anything wrong with the fit.

Some people in this world are just downright cruel for no reason... or they''re just plain miserable. You know how they say misery loves company, so I''m sure that the saleslady was just trying to bring you down to her level. But I say ignore her comments and enjoy this time! You don''t want to let some Biotch

ruin your planning process. Just know that you look awesome in your dress, and don''t listen to any negative comments that come your way!!

 

[HOUMedGal]

Ummm, HELLO, that dress looks AWESOME on you!!!!!!!!! I just love the hourglass look you''ve got going on, and that dress really accentuates it!!! The size looks perfect to me....rude dress shop lady needs to shove it!

 

[ame]

Perhaps stoop to her level next time, comment on how her age has made her face droop so low it's like a second set of boobs. "Yknow they have surgeries to fix that".

Maybe if you give it back as good as she's givin' it she'll shut her pie hole?

You look fantastic in that gown. Screw her in her right eye.

 

[flopkins]

AG- you look SO GOOD in that dress, and it fits perfectly!! Don''t let her snark bring you down.

To share my own mean lady at a bridal shop story... This bridal salon in East bay... OMG... I was SO PISSED at the saleslady - just the one saleslady in particular, the rest of the staff there was fine... when I picked up my bm dress for a friends wedding, I wanted to check the dress size, and just to make sure it didn''t have any obvious flaws, etc.. and I wanted to try the thing on, just in case, and the saleslady was SO RUDE! She kept asking me to pay for it, and she wouldn''t let me see the dress (she was holding it behind the counter) I finally said look lady, I already put a freagin 50% deposit ($100) on that dress, I''m not going to run out of the store with it, now will you let me try it on?!!! And I stared her down and she finally let me try it on. !!!! What is WRONG w/these ppl?!!! She just wanted my credit card, she didn''t give a S*** whether she even brought out the right dress! ARGH! the nerve!

Sorry, yo ucan tell I''m still pissed just thinking about it!

 

[MissAva]

Date: 8/27/2005 11:58:31 PM
Author: ame
Perhaps stoop to her level next time, comment on how her age has made her face droop so low it''s like a second set of boobs. ''Yknow they have surgeries to fix that''.

Maybe if you give it back as good as she''s givin'' it she''ll shut her pie hole?

You look fantastic in that gown. Screw her in her right eye.

Ame you are a hoot!

 

[MINE!!]

OMG.. girl you look great in that dress. I have had some really nasty people help me at some bridal shops.. I quickly let them know that there is another place and I can take my money elsewhere... that got me a lot of butt kissing.... People like that should not be tolerated.. and if you feel that they are out of line.. let them know and let their supervisor know as well. You look BEAUTIFUL!!!!

 

[AmberGretchen]

Thanks so much ladies - feeling better now, and all the nice comments are very much appreciated. I''m considering calling the shop and saying something to the manager/supervisor, but I''m not sure whether its worth it or not. I think maybe I''ll wait until I have my dress in hand...not to be paranoid or anything...I can''t wait until it comes in!!!!! (I should get an expected arrival date today, but they said it probably won''t be ''till December...)

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Date: 8/27/2005 11:09:00 AM
Author: AmberGretchen
My MOH/best friend was also making me feel better yesterday by joking with me - she thought it was obscene that I even had to order the size I did order (a 12), considering my street size is a size 6 in jeans, and usually an 8 up top (because of the good ol'' 34DDs...

).

Oh Oh!!! I Know!! I Know!!! It just hit me!!! The ninny is jealous of your 34DDs!!!!!

(I''ve got 36DDs myself...so I understand the reasoning of getting the larger size!!!).

 

[AmberGretchen]

LOL she''s more than welcome to them!! There are so many places that don''t even carry that size, and you should see the looks you get when you ask for that size...They tell you that when you lose 25-30 lbs you go down a cup size. I''m at minus 25.5 lbs right now and still waiting...

 

[gingerBcookie]

seriously, send any extra cups my way...i need any help I can get

not kidding--i''m prob gonn go shopping for the victoria''s secret "cicken cutlets" as soon as my dress comes in!

 

[AChiOAlumna]

Date: 8/29/2005 6:14:42 PM
Author: AmberGretchen
LOL she''s more than welcome to them!! There are so many places that don''t even carry that size, and you should see the looks you get when you ask for that size...They tell you that when you lose 25-30 lbs you go down a cup size. I''m at minus 25.5 lbs right now and still waiting...

I lost 15 pounds in less than a year several years ago...my band size changed, but never my cup size

 

[ame]

Doesn''t that blow. I have offered to donate one of mine in hopes that the other will redistribute itself into 2 normally sized boobies.

 

[Dodger Gurl]

Ohmigosh, AG!

I cannot believe that! You look soooo good in your dress!!!

Sometimes I do not know where these bridal shops find their employees. I think they should administer a personality test before hiring somebody. You know - to screen out the "cranky and/or jealous hags" personality types. LOL! My mean bridal salesperson story was this witch got all snotty-nosed after I told her my price range. I could have sworn that she actually rolled her eyes as if "Good luck finding anything in THAT price range." Then the hag proceeded to try and get me to buy this really heinous dress that made me look like I was wearing a bridal potato sack just because it was the most expensive dress I had chosen to try on. Despite her uncooperativeness, I did manage to find 2 dresses that I actually liked and so I told her I would like to come back the following weekend with my mom. Get this - she then asked me "Why - is MOMMY paying for the dress?" HELLO!!! I just wanted to make my mom feel included in the process and get her opinion - I mean this is a once in a lifetime event! Not to mention the fact that I make a heck of a lot more money than she does (I''m a Database Administrator) - it''s not my fault I look young. I could choose to buy more expensive dresses if I want to - it''s just that I don''t want to. I was soooo stinkin LIVID that I wasn''t able to reply with a comeback. So after steaming for a few minutes, I decided not to make a scene and disrupt the other brides'' experience but that this place wasn''t going to get my business. Then I made an appointment with the witch for the following weekend and didn''t show up just to piss her off. Now I wish I HAD made a complaint. Urgh.