Why are we uncomfortable with being privileged, if we are?

[Jambalaya]

A discussion about privilege in the current thread about divorce got me thinking...why ARE we often so reluctant to admit that we have privilege, if we do, and are embarrassed by it? And want to play it down? Many people don't seem to like being marked out as privileged. Possible reasons, IMHO:

Some people feel that anyone who isn't homeless and absolutely dirt-poor is privileged, which puts the vast majority of people on the defensive, because most people aren't homeless but many people have seriously difficult lives full of challenges.

If we admit to privilege, perhaps we are afraid that we will receive less love, less attention, and less support when we have challenges in our lives that are very real to us.

Perhaps we are simply afraid of attracting jealousy.

The trouble with trying to hide your privilege is that it doesn't work. Others can see right through it.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm insanely privileged. I've been blessed with mostly excellent health so far (although that will probably change because my family is so full of cancer), and I've always had enough. Although there are many MANY people in the world who have much more than I do, I have so much, and so much more than so many. Yes, I'm very privileged. I know I have white privilege and cis privilege, but probably other types of privilege that I'm not even aware of. Decades ago, when I was very young and slim, I had some pretty privilege. Gone now, and I don't miss being treated like I was a dumb s*x object.

What privileges do you have? Any that you don't like to admit to?

 

[telephone89]

Thank you for making this thread! I feel like people were quite upset with my comments in the other thread regarding it.

IMO: people don't like admitting that they "didnt earn it" in life is my opinion. As I said in the other thread, just because you had struggles doesnt mean you didnt have privilege. No one likes to think they skated by on someones coat tails, and I think when I/people mention privilege thats what the automatic mind picture is. People think they should (or do?) feel guilty for it. But that isnt accurate at all. I grew up poor AF but I know I still had privilege over my (slightly) wealthier POC husband who had to deal with microaggresions daily, people not learning how to say his name, keeping him out of customer view because he's "different" and "wont be able to relate" to the customer. I recognize that I have hetero privilege and never had to justify my relationships. Cis privilege that I've never had to justify my identity.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with recognizing that you have privilege. It doesnt make you a bad person! Many (most) people have some sort of privilege, and it works in different ways for all of us. Keeping the conversation going is always good. Learning is always good. Introspection is always good.

 

[winnietucker]

What Telephone seems to consider privilege honestly didn’t even ring as privilege to me until Yssie broke it down. I took it as how on earth can you be privileged if you can’t even afford to go to work? I didn’t see it as a privilege. I saw it as a tragedy.

If we’re framing it that way - in a you have privilege even if it comes with great struggles -almost everything is a privilege. There are perks (even if small) to being part of most groups that others won’t have. And I feel like lots of things can be spun to be a privilege even though they don’t always feel like one.

 

[Jambalaya]

Honestly, even in the US, having stable steady healthcare could be considered privilege too. Perhaps a convo for your other thread

Oh God, I'm pretty much hanging my head in shame right now...I have FABULOUS health insurance from work, and I live in an area with renowned hospitals. When I need my breast MRIs, which I get because I have a family history of breast cancer in my direct maternal line from 1849 to 2014, and breasts so dense that nothing can see through them except MRI, I schedule the appointment and I never see a bill. They cost the insurance about $15k. It takes mere days to get an appt and the machines run day and night seven days a week. And they're the best machines with some of the best radiologists looking at the film.

I am literally cringing into a ball at how privileged I am. And I don't have this fab situation because I worked really hard for it. NOOOOOO! It's dumb luck.

Sometimes I feel really, really sad that I have this opportunity to avoid the breast cancer that took my mother, grandmother, grandmother's sister, and great-great grandmother. It's just so, so, so unfair that they suffered and for no other reason than dumb luck, I get to have scans that would likely pick it up super-early and lead to significantly less suffering, not to mention many years of extra life.

Told you I was disgustingly privileged. *covers face with hands*

 

[Kim N]

I often recognize and feel grateful for how privileged I am. I have to credit my parents and grandparents for doing all the hard work as immigrants that has allowed me to have the life I lead today.

 

[telephone89]

What Telephone seems to consider privilege honestly didn’t even ring as privilege to me until Yssie broke it down. I took it as how on earth can you be privileged if you can’t even afford to go to work? I didn’t see it as a privilege. I saw it as a tragedy.

If we’re framing it that way - in a you have privilege even if it comes with great struggles -almost everything is a privilege. There are perks (even if small) to being part of most groups that others won’t have. And I feel like lots of things can be spun to be a privilege even though they don’t always feel like one.

Your last line was literally my whole point. Just because it didnt feel like a privilege doesnt mean it wasnt/isnt one. What was a struggle for you (general) may have sent someone else into bankruptcy because they didnt have the ability for someone else to work while they stayed home. Or taken out the literal devil of payday loans and gotten into extreme trouble.

Recognizing privilege doesnt negate the struggle, doesnt negate the work that happened. It just recognizes that were *slightly* fewer roadblocks in the way to get there.

 

[telephone89]

Oh God, I'm pretty much hanging my head in shame right now...I have FABULOUS health insurance from work, and I live in an area with renowned hospitals. When I need my breast MRIs, which I get because I have a family history of breast cancer in my direct maternal line from 1849 to 2014, and breasts so dense that nothing can see through them except MRI, I schedule the appointment and I never see a bill. They cost the insurance about $15k. It takes mere days to get an appt and the machines run day and night seven days a week. And they're the best machines with some of the best radiologists looking at the film.

I am literally cringing into a ball at how privileged I am. And I don't have this fab situation because I worked really hard for it. NOOOOOO! It's dumb luck.

Sometimes I feel really, really sad that I have this opportunity to avoid the breast cancer that took my mother, grandmother, grandmother's sister, and great-great grandmother. It's just so, so, so unfair that they suffered and for no other reason than dumb luck, I get to have scans that would likely pick it up super-early and lead to significantly less suffering, not to mention many years of extra life.

Told you I was disgustingly privileged. *covers face with hands*

No need to cover your face! I am in Canada, with a robust public health system. That is privilege. I will *never* have to know the life of going bankrupt or getting a surgery. That is privilege.

Recognizing what you have isn't something to feel guilty or be ashamed of. But noting it, and making sure to not judge others who may not have it is. Gosh i dont mean to be the privilege police, which is what I feel like Im being made out to be lol. I just feel like this is important to acknowledge these days.

 

[Jambalaya]

I was feeling really bad the other week, so I bought this stuffed bunny from Amazon. He's quite large, and he's super-soft and comforting. I hold him a lot. He cost about $35. I know how lucky I am to be able to just drop $35 on a comfort animal and not even have to think about it or check my bank account. Sometimes I feel a little guilty when I hold him, because he's so great, knowing how many people could do with such a bunny and can't just spend $35 whenever they feel like it.

 

[Jambalaya]

No need to cover your face! I am in Canada, with a robust public health system. That is privilege. I will *never* have to know the life of going bankrupt or getting a surgery. That is privilege.

Recognizing what you have isn't something to feel guilty or be ashamed of. But noting it, and making sure to not judge others who may not have it is. Gosh i dont mean to be the privilege police, which is what I feel like Im being made out to be lol. I just feel like this is important to acknowledge these days.

But honestly Telephone, here in the US, the gulf between people who have crappy or no insurance compared to the Rolls Royce plan and proximity to amazing hospitals that I have really IS cringeworthy. It just dropped into my lap, and I'd venture to say that the majority of people here don't have such good insurance and hospitals. A minor surgery can tip people over the edge even if they have insurance. It's just so, so unfair. Why did I have such good luck, and others not? No reason. ETA: I definitely feel guilt over my privilege, even though there are MANY people who have vastly more than I do.

 

[Jambalaya]

IMO: people don't like admitting that they "didnt earn it" in life is my opinion.

Yeah, I think this is really true.

 

[Ionysis]

My parents grew up in a council estate and my dad had to leave school at 14 to get a job. He had no qualifications whatsoever but worked harder, stayed later, and did all the things no one else wanted to do until he eventually ended up company director. Thanks to him I had the HUGE privilege of a good education. That for me was the single biggest leg-up I could have had.

BUT, although I admit I have benefitted from the privilege of being born white, in the U.K., to supportive parents who had got themselves financially secure, and being educated I also WORKED MY ASS OFF for everything I now have.

My life circumstances are a result of my privilege, some luck of course, but also of years and years and years of hard work, effort and commitment. So I don’t actually feel guilty. I do however feel extremely grateful and fortunate and I don’t take my life for granted. Nor have I stopped grafting!

 

[winnietucker]

Your last line was literally my whole point. Just because it didnt feel like a privilege doesnt mean it wasnt/isnt one. What was a struggle for you (general) may have sent someone else into bankruptcy because they didnt have the ability for someone else to work while they stayed home. Or taken out the literal devil of payday loans and gotten into extreme trouble.

Recognizing privilege doesnt negate the struggle, doesnt negate the work that happened. It just recognizes that were *slightly* fewer roadblocks in the way to get there.

Right and I think I hear what you’re saying now. But it took Yssie breaking it down for me to understand what you meant. Or at least what I thought you meant. Which is why I bowed out of that other thread.

When I think of privilege I think of a clear advantage someone has over another. Like how men tend to be better respected than women when they’re being assertive. Men are seen as confident but women are seen as b-words.

When I think about it in the way I think you mean it, most things are a privilege. I think using the term privilege to discount someone’s struggle - especially when it’s a significant struggle (like having to become a SAHP because you just can’t afford to work) will always rub people the wrong way because it doesn’t feel like a privilege.

 

[telephone89]

Right and I think I hear what you’re saying now. But it took Yssie breaking it down for me to understand what you meant. Or at least what I thought you meant. Which is why I bowed out of that other thread.

When I think of privilege I think of a clear advantage someone has over another. Like how men tend to be better respected than women when they’re being assertive. Men are seen as confident but women are seen as b-words.

When I think about it in the way I think you mean it, most things are a privilege. I think using the term privilege to discount someone’s struggle - especially when it’s a significant struggle (like having to become a SAHP because you just can’t afford to work) will always rub people the wrong way because it doesn’t feel like a privilege.

The point is that it *isnt* to discount or negate the struggle though. That is something that we hold onto, thinking it makes us more worthy. We deserve this because we struggled for it sort of thing. But that isn’t true.

 

[diamondyes]

Wanted to add this book as good for thought:

Status Anxiety

“There's no writer alive like de Botton” ( Chicago Trib…

www.goodreads.com

 

[diamondyes]

And this one:

Uneasy Street: The Anxieties of Affluence

A surprising and revealing look at how today's elite vi…

www.goodreads.com

 

[winnietucker]

The point is that it *isnt* to discount or negate the struggle though. That is something that we hold onto, thinking it makes us more worthy. We deserve this because we struggled for it sort of thing. But that isn’t true.

But when you tell someone that they’re privileged because they can be a SAHP when that’s not what they want to do/ when they feel like it’s forced on them, they’re not going to feel privileged. They’re going to feel like you’re discounting their struggles or their sacrifice and no one appreciates that. It also kinda doesn’t take into account that it’s how some people end up stuck in less than ideal/ abusive situations.

The closest personal thing I can relate it to is when I was still pretty fresh from giving birth. I was in a lot of pain, super sleep deprived, and overall struggling. This was after I ended up back in the hospital for postpartum hemorrhaging, which added to the stress and exhaustion. I swore I’d heard my baby cry when he wasn’t so I called my midwife panicking. Immediately she said it was unsafe for me to be around my baby because it could be postpartum psychosis and that I needed to go to the ER for an evaluation. I was crying to my closest friend about how much I was struggling with it all and she told me that I should just be grateful I even had a baby. Like I get her point, especially because I know she wants children, but at the time it felt like she was completely disregarding my struggles and being unsupportive.

People who want children would probably agree I was/ am privileged because I had a healthy baby (and now that we’re more or less ok I agree with that assessment). But that did not feel like a privilege at the time.

Btw - it wasn’t postpartum psychosis. I ended up seeing a therapist who said it’s a normal reaction to sleep deprivation and stress.

 

[Ionysis]

But when you tell someone that they’re privileged because they can be a SAHP when that’s not what they want to do/ when they feel like it’s forced on them, they’re not going to feel privileged. They’re going to feel like you’re discounting their struggles or their sacrifice and no one appreciates that. It also kinda doesn’t take into account that it’s how some people end up stuck in less than ideal/ abusive situations.

The closest personal thing I can relate it to is when I was still pretty fresh from giving birth. I was in a lot of pain, super sleep deprived, and overall struggling. This was after I ended up back in the hospital for postpartum hemorrhaging, which added to the stress and exhaustion. I swore I’d heard my baby cry when he wasn’t so I called my midwife panicking. Immediately she said it was unsafe for me to be around my baby because it could be postpartum psychosis and that I needed to go to the ER for an evaluation. I was crying to my closest friend about how much I was struggling with it all and she told me that I should just be grateful I even had a baby. Like I get her point, especially because I know she wants children, but at the time it felt like she was completely disregarding my struggles and being unsupportive.

People who want children would probably agree I was/ am privileged because I had a healthy baby (and now that we’re more or less ok I agree with that assessment). But that did not feel like a privilege at the time.

Btw - it wasn’t postpartum psychosis. I ended up seeing a therapist who said it’s a normal reaction to sleep deprivation and stress.

This is a really good example. I’m privileged to have a great career and not be financially dependent on anyone else. But it doesn’t feel like a privilege when I’m still in the office exhausted and wrung out at 9pm and I’m single-handedly shouldering responsibility for every bill, cost and debt in my family.

I guess it’s all about how we frame it!

 

[kenny]

I'm a white male, born in America, and I recognize the advantages that affords me is not fair.
I am not "uncomfortable" though.
Should I be?
I didn't choose my parents, or birthplace.

I only do shame or guilt when I have done something bad.
My ancestors doing selfish things is not my fault.
All humans and countries want what is best for their citizens and their kids.
Is this a crime?
Should all governments and countries be abolished to make one entity with 8 billion citizens and split all wealth equally?
Good luck with that.

My ex SIL was a 2nd generation Mexican American living well below the poverty level with her husband and two kids in his parent's garage.
She was always very unfriendly towards me.
One time I asked her why?
Without missing a beat she said, "Because you're white."

I don't blame her for feeling that way.
She has an excellent point.
People from my race and country have done tons of bad stuff over time that kept them in power and wealth.
But as I've asked, is it a crime to want the best for your family?

Humans are selfish and competitive.
I don't see this changing.

 

[nala]

I think everyone is privileged to some extent in some aspects of their life. Some in every aspect, lol. Some in very few.
Society teaches us to be humble, not gloat or brag, etc, and some of us may have internalized those lessons. It feels like bragging when you list privileges—because it definitely sounds like it when others are numbering off theirs—it’s almost like a humble brag —and bragging is considered in poor taste bc society has conditioned us to believe so.
I don’t know to what end anyone needs to audit their privileges or make others admit to theirs. Like—are you trying to guilt others into compensating for their privileges? Are you ranking only certain privileges as worthier of a guilt trip? I don’t get it. Privileges are a social construct and reflect what a shallow society values most. Skinny privilege. Pretty privilege. Wealthy privilege. Etc. Doesn’t mean I have to buy into it. Doesn’t mean I have to compensate for my excess privilege or be pitied for my lack of privilege (and in turn, add insult to injury). I think the term privilege is polarizing bc it’s a relative term yet people want to treat it as an absolute truth.

 

[123ducklings]

The myth of bootstrapism has become a point of moral virtue in America. It’s as sad as it is false. No one goes it alone; everyone has help. When we erase the helpers from our story we become less grateful and less giving.

And when there’s a person or group of people in need, we’re more likely to dismiss the problem as a matter of individual moral failure, rather than address the societal/structural failure it usually is.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I don’t feel uncomfortable acknowledging my privilege. I grew up in a stable, loving household with parents who made sure I received a kick-ass education. Of course I had to work for good grades, to get internships and jobs etc. which landed me in a fairly well off position of having savings and a comfortable amount of disposable income.

And of course, I have dealt with people far more privileged than me. Landing a job as an immigrant is unbelievably hard - I had to maintain a GPA many points higher just to get interviews, and got rejected by many, many companies unwilling to sponsor a visa. Non-majority people are subject to a ridiculous amount of racism - from microaggressions not worth my time (mispronouncing my extremely easy to pronounce name, which consists of syllables and sounds that exist in English) to straight up anger (immigration is… a trip. You can immediately spot the non-white person at every border control - they’re the one with all forms, documents, papers and proofs in triplicate) - and many people from the majority don’t seem to either see it, or think it’s no big deal.

Ultimately, we all have a lot of privilege and a lot of struggles, and one doesn’t negate the other. A man living below the poverty line in rural India scraping together just about enough to subsist another day has “male privilege” that I as a woman don’t have - but I have many, many privileges he doesn’t, and it’s disingenuous to pretend otherwise. Would a man with my life and position have more privilege than me? Of course. Would a white man have even more privilege than him? Absolutely. Does that mean that the white man doesn’t have his own struggles and problems that can be utterly debilitating that I and the hypothetical Indian man don’t face? Of course not.

 

[telephone89]

But when you tell someone that they’re privileged because they can be a SAHP when that’s not what they want to do/ when they feel like it’s forced on them, they’re not going to feel privileged. They’re going to feel like you’re discounting their struggles or their sacrifice and no one appreciates that. It also kinda doesn’t take into account that it’s how some people end up stuck in less than ideal/ abusive situations.

The closest personal thing I can relate it to is when I was still pretty fresh from giving birth. I was in a lot of pain, super sleep deprived, and overall struggling. This was after I ended up back in the hospital for postpartum hemorrhaging, which added to the stress and exhaustion. I swore I’d heard my baby cry when he wasn’t so I called my midwife panicking. Immediately she said it was unsafe for me to be around my baby because it could be postpartum psychosis and that I needed to go to the ER for an evaluation. I was crying to my closest friend about how much I was struggling with it all and she told me that I should just be grateful I even had a baby. Like I get her point, especially because I know she wants children, but at the time it felt like she was completely disregarding my struggles and being unsupportive.

People who want children would probably agree I was/ am privileged because I had a healthy baby (and now that we’re more or less ok I agree with that assessment). But that did not feel like a privilege at the time.

Btw - it wasn’t postpartum psychosis. I ended up seeing a therapist who said it’s a normal reaction to sleep deprivation and stress.

I’m honestly not sure why you’re still arguing about this if you say you understood (albeit only when yssie explained it)? No one is dismissing struggle, in fact I said it probably 10x that it does NOT dismiss struggle. But to say that having your step parent having a single job, able to support their entire family and house, feed, educate, cloth, etc and have the other person not have to work when 90% of other families cannot survive on that same principle is not privileged? I think you are getting too caught up in the emotion of the word and not the principle of the concept. This isn’t a hit on you or your mother specifically. This is a societal notion.

I probably shouldn’t comment on the pregnancy/birth aspect as this is something I have not and will not go through. I do think what your friend said was unkind, but if she was for example suffering from infertility, I hope you’d be able to put yourself in her shoes and realize that yes - you have something that millions of women want and cannot achieve. Even if it’s hard. Again, just because you have struggles does. Not. Mean. You don’t have privilege.

 

[telephone89]

Why privilege is so hard to give up

Acknowledging our racial or gender privilege forces us to admit we didn't achieve everything on our own

www.salon.com

Resources: Empowering Growth and Innovation | Hive Learning

Explore valuable resources to drive your innovation and growth. Unlock knowledge, insights, and tools to fuel your journey. Elevate your learning with us

www.hivelearning.com

 

[kenny]

Edit to my post #18 above. (Too late to edit. DOH! )

I wrote:
"My ex SIL was a 2nd generation Mexican American living well below the poverty level with her husband and two kids in his parent's garage.
She was always very unfriendly towards me.
One time I asked her why?
Without missing a beat she said, "Because you're white.""

I forgot to include 4 important words, in bold below:

I should have written:
My ex SIL was a 2nd generation Mexican American living well below the poverty level with her husband and two kids in his parent's garage.
She was always very unfriendly towards me.
One time I asked her why she hates me? (my exact words, just said in a matter of fact way, with little emotion)
Without missing a beat she said, "Because you're white." (her exact words, just said in a matter of fact way, with little emotion)

Instead of any awkwardness, I think we both felt better for acknowledging the elephant in the room.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I just want to add though, that acknowledging that one has privilege doesn’t mean that someone pointing out your privilege in a moment of active struggle is helpful, kind or necessary. Acknowledging one’s own privilege is good so you can practice gratefulness, empathy and contentment. Pointing out someone else’s is only really needed when they’re being cruel, dismissive or patronising.

 

[Ionysis]

Why privilege is so hard to give up

Acknowledging our racial or gender privilege forces us to admit we didn't achieve everything on our own

www.salon.com

Resources: Empowering Growth and Innovation | Hive Learning

Explore valuable resources to drive your innovation and growth. Unlock knowledge, insights, and tools to fuel your journey. Elevate your learning with us

www.hivelearning.com

Ok. So what? What is the point of this. I can’t “give up” being white. Or intelligent. Of being born to my parents. Or unlearn my skills. Should the “privileged” try to handicap themselves in some way to make up for it? To level the playing field in some way? What is your point?

 

[telephone89]

Ok. So what? What is the point of this. I can’t “give up” being white. Or intelligent. Of being born to my parents. Or unlearn my skills. Should the “privileged” try to handicap themselves in some way to make up for it? To level the playing field in some way? What is your point?

Did you read the article? It literally says: equality has never hurt anyone. Help each other rise up.
No one is saying to feel guilty or give up being white (???). Acknowledge, don’t judge, be kind, help others with a leg up that you may have had from birth that they may not have.

This is basically what I said in my first post:
“If acknowledgment of privilege challenges you to no longer be complicit, it also holds you accountable. It forces you to give up the “bootstrap” myth because in reality, you are not solely responsible for your success. Privilege not only gives you better boots than others; it may also give you a few extra paces in the climb to success. To accept privilege is to squash the egotistical notion that you made it there on your own. For some, that can be hard to let go of.”

 

[Ionysis]

Whilst I agree no one did it all on their own and some have advantages over others, the individual strength, effort, work etc is the defining factor in many (not all) peoples success.

We all know many people who had very little “privilege” who overcame huge challenges with hard work and the right attitude. We also know people who had every privilege who wasted it all and squandered those advantages.

So talk about the bootstrap “myth” as much as you like, it is not always a myth. Even with all the privilege in the world most of the time hard work is required to achieve anything worthwhile.

The extreme end of the spectrum may indeed be narcissistic a-holes who attribute their every success to themselves and nothing else, and refuse to acknowledge any luck or privilege. But I haven’t met many.

I have however met quite a lot of people who blame their LACK of privilege for the fact that their lives are in the toilet. I’ve seen plenty of people refuse to acknowledge that their own laziness, poor choices, unpleasant personal characteristics are more likely causes of their issues than natural “disadvantages” that were out of their control. Even when their family members / siblings / others who had exactly the same challenges managed to make something of themselves.

It works both ways. But in todays woke society we aren’t allowed to say that anymore are we.

 

[Bron357]

Privilege to me is related and relative to your environment, your awareness of the differences between yours and others, and your reaction and perception of these differences.
Some people will be very aware that they have had “privilege“ compared to others and are grateful and thankful for it. Some may not care to look or consider anyone or anything beyond their own front door, while others will be constantly comparing ”their lot” with others (relative to them or not) and be feeling sad or unhappy about it.
There are privileges that many of us have that we don’t even think to consider in respect of others - be that our ability to safety walk the street after dark, to practice our chosen religion (or not), to receive an education, to access health care, to love whomever we choose.
I am VERY privileged.
I have people to love who love me back, I have good health, I have good food anytime I want or need it, I have a secure roof over my head, I have access anytime to quality health care, education.
Higher levels of Privilege be it great wealth or great career success require the underpinning of other privileges or greater quantity of determination or application.
You can be in a position of “great privilege/ great potential” and lose it tragically or squander it recklessly.
You can be in a position of “limited privilege/ little potential” and through personal hard work and application achieve great things. Or perhaps not despite your best intentions.
And you can quickly switch privilege position at any time in life as well.

 

[missy]

I am privileged. And I feel very fortunate. So much so that sometimes I feel it is surreal how lucky I got. First being born to my parents. While I did not win the genetic lottery (so many health issues all related to my genetics and none to my lifestyle) I certainly won the parents lottery. I have the kindest, most loving, most supportive and generous parents in the world. IMO.

And while we were not wealthy by any means we were comfortable. My dad worked (dentist in the Navy and I think they paid for his schooling as his parents were poor) and my mom stayed home with us til my younger sister went away to college. Then she got a job as an art and history teacher in our high school and the money she made went to our education fund. We didn't pay a cent for college or graduate school. That is privilege.

We took vacations every year, we had nice toys. We had music, gymnastic, ballet, ice skating, swimming etc lessons. We had a good childhood filled with love and anything our hearts desired if my parents could swing it they did. Now we never were bought cars or expensive things like that. But we didn't need that. In my mind we had all we could ever hope for and more and all the advantages anyone could want. So yeah super privileged and I am grateful for it all. Never took anything for granted. We were raised to be generous and kind and do things for others and 100% aware of how fortunate we were/are. My parents raised us right IMO.

Then I met Greg. I don't need to go on about him. Many of you are familiar with how amazing my husband is so I won't bore you. But yeah I totally lucked out in the supportive husband department and so my privilege continues. I am forever appreciative and grateful for all we have. There is so much suffering and pain in this world. And it really comes down to luck in so many ways.

For me, giving back is how I deal with any feelings of guilt over all we do have. Of course that isn't altruistic behavior because it makes me feel good. I feel good doing good so that is how I live my life and I always strive to do better.