Why ask for advice and then reject it all?

[NewEnglandLady]

I honestly feel that even if the origninal poster isn''t ready to hear the advice given at this point, it still sits in his/her head to be mulled over.

I''ve noticed this on PS and on other boards--usually when a person posts, it''s because he/she is still trying to figure things out. It often takes a long time between figuring out what is happening in your own relationship and DOING something about it. Shoot, I knew that D and I were not on the same page about marriage for a year before I left, I just needed to make sure I had given it my best shot before bowing out of the relationship. Sometimes when people start to point out unhealthy habits or patterns in a relationship that you haven''t noticed yourself, it opens your eyes to be able to do something about it.

If the OP continues to ignore huge issues in his/her relationship, well it will all unravel at some point in time. But if the OP can start to see red flags that he/she had not noticed before, it could have a deep impact on what he/she does in that relationship, even if it doesn''t happen right away.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 8/17/2008 1:07:22 AM
Author: HollyS
Regrettably, many women are in relationships that are NOT headed for *forever*. Because they have invested so much of themselves in their relationship, they are unwilling to acknowledge the real issues, and focus instead on the ''symptons, rather than the illness''.


We see it time and again on LIW, and some other threads. Some people who post very regularly are among those that have real problems, and have been that OP asking advice. And after all is said and done, five pages of posts later, they still haven''t acknowledged their bigger issues; they''ve only resolved the small problem at hand that prompted their post.


We cannot make people take our advice; we can only offer it. And be as kind as we can to people who are hurting, without resorting to platitudes and cliched responses. Occasionally, we just have to tell the truth, and let the dust settle where it will.

Holly, you are such a thoughtful, indepth and decent poster, just wanted to send you the big thumbs up.
Posts like this are pretty standard from you... all round awesome.
And I''ve heard you work in a car dealership? Is that correct? Nursemaiding new (male) salespeople? classic.

Looks like the smart female people are not just working in law and medicine after all...

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/17/2008 12:27:39 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Good question. We do see this a lot on PS. Part of me thinks the person wants to vent, to get their point across. But when people respond, being honest, well the truth hurts and then they get all defensive. If I had a dollar$ for every time this has happened on PS, I''d be one rich woman.

While i do agree with this.. i don''t think that the truth needs to be stated in a mean spirited manner. you do not need to treat posters with kid gloves.. but hateful will not work either. i just think that it can be damaging. people that post on here might be ''venting'' and upset at that moment... we are all upset at some point in our lives. it does not mean that their relationship is in crisis.. and that they are total morons because they are staying in a dead end relationship... different strokes for different folks. what works for some may not work for others.. that is part of being human . constructive critism is wonderful.. but when you are pouring salt in the would, than i think that you are causing more harm than good.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/18/2008 2:37:00 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 8/17/2008 12:27:39 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Good question. We do see this a lot on PS. Part of me thinks the person wants to vent, to get their point across. But when people respond, being honest, well the truth hurts and then they get all defensive. If I had a dollar$ for every time this has happened on PS, I''d be one rich woman.

While i do agree with this.. i don''t think that the truth needs to be stated in a mean spirited manner. you do not need to treat posters with kid gloves.. but hateful will not work either. i just think that it can be damaging. people that post on here might be ''venting'' and upset at that moment... we are all upset at some point in our lives. it does not mean that their relationship is in crisis.. and that they are total morons because they are staying in a dead end relationship... different strokes for different folks. what works for some may not work for others.. that is part of being human . constructive critism is wonderful.. but when you are pouring salt in the would, than i think that you are causing more harm than good.

I agree, CBS. I think sometimes people just don''t realize they''re being mean. If you''re sitting face to face with someone, you can see their reaction and judge on how you should continue to interact with a person. If you say something to them and they start to tear-up a bit, then you''d know to back off.

Unfortunately, online, it''s hard to say if you''re probing too deep. I just think you should err on the side of "too nice" before you start really tearing into stuff.

I can''t imagine how I''d feel if I explained an argument that FF and I have had, and everyone on here said "Umm, I think you have bigger issues at hand than X, why don''t you stop thinking about a wedding and start thinking about THERAPY?!"

A lot of us know red flags because we''ve been through it already. These are not red flags to people who have not had the experience. Just like we''ve learned through mistakes, other people have to also. One of the most frustrating things in the world is having to look at someone going through everything you''ve been through, knowing how it''s going to turn out, and not being able to do/say/fix anything.

It took me 5 years with a horrible BF to realize that if a guy wants to be with you, he''ll be nice to you.

FIVE YEARS!

But, again, thats completely ingrained in me, and now I have an FF who treats me like a princess.

One PS post won''t change anyone. At the very least, you can just hope that they at least consider your wisdom and experience.

 

[cbs102]

I also think that even though people are posting, it does not mean that they have no support. maybe they just want to get it off their chest. There have been a few posts on here where i though.. oh my goodness.. you need to leave your SO.. or oh my god, you want a 3 ct diamond from you mil.. what is wrong withyou.. but in the end- these women want to talk it out not verbally berated for having feelings. i read these now and literally say out loud "oh boy.. here it comes".

Elle is right.. you simply cannot change someone's behavior because you told them too.. and in a nasty manner certainly won't get them through it... when someone is attacking you- of course you will defend yourself.. because bottom line- we as a forum only know what was posted.. we as posters are the only ones who know who we are and we have a right to defend our character. i think as a community of well educated, successful , smart, capable women, we can offer constructive critism and support coupled with understanding that someone is upset and not verbally berate them while doing so.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/18/2008 3:17:53 PM
Author: cbs102
I also think that even though people are posting, it does not mean that they have no support. maybe they just want to get it off their chest. There have been a few posts on here where i though.. oh my goodness.. you need to leave your SO.. or oh my god, you want a 3 ct diamond from you mil.. what is wrong withyou.. but in the end- these women want to talk it out not verbally berated for having feelings. i read these now and literally say out loud ''oh boy.. here is comes''.

Elle is right.. you simply cannot change someone''s behavior because you told them too.. and in a nasty manner certainly won''t get them through it... when someone is attacking you- of course you will defend yourself.. because bottom line- we as a forum only know what was posted.. we as posters are the only ones who know who we are and we have a right to defend our character. i think as a community of well educated, successful , smart, capable women, we can offer constructive critism and support coupled with understanding that someone is upset and not verbally berate them while doing so.

Ha! I almost posted that same comment. I actually get butterflies in my stomach when I read a post that I know is going to cause some... strongly held opinions.

I have to say, as little amount of time as I''ve been on here, I''ve SERIOUSLY changed my views on a lot of things. I also realized that I was being judgmental in a lot of situations where I didn''t think I was. So even though some PSers may make me want to cry, you''ve rubbed off on me.

It''s funny how the more you learn, the more you realize you don''t know crap!

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/18/2008 3:24:25 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 8/18/2008 3:17:53 PM
Author: cbs102
I also think that even though people are posting, it does not mean that they have no support. maybe they just want to get it off their chest. There have been a few posts on here where i though.. oh my goodness.. you need to leave your SO.. or oh my god, you want a 3 ct diamond from you mil.. what is wrong withyou.. but in the end- these women want to talk it out not verbally berated for having feelings. i read these now and literally say out loud ''oh boy.. here is comes''.

Elle is right.. you simply cannot change someone''s behavior because you told them too.. and in a nasty manner certainly won''t get them through it... when someone is attacking you- of course you will defend yourself.. because bottom line- we as a forum only know what was posted.. we as posters are the only ones who know who we are and we have a right to defend our character. i think as a community of well educated, successful , smart, capable women, we can offer constructive critism and support coupled with understanding that someone is upset and not verbally berate them while doing so.

Ha! I almost posted that same comment. I actually get butterflies in my stomach when I read a post that I know is going to cause some... strongly held opinions.

I have to say, as little amount of time as I''ve been on here, I''ve SERIOUSLY changed my views on a lot of things. I also realized that I was being judgmental in a lot of situations where I didn''t think I was. So even though some PSers may make me want to cry, you''ve rubbed off on me.

It''s funny how the more you learn, the more you realize you don''t know crap!

it would be fantastic if i could edit my comment before posting.. you would never know that i have a degree in english!!

 

[trillionaire]

We all have friends IRL that are in bad relationships, and for the life of us, we cannot save their relationship (or even save them from themselves). I don't know why we would think anything different of an internet forum.

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

Sometimes, it is good to hear things that no one will say to your face. But it is one thing to say something nicely, and another thing entirely to attack someone, and keep at them. On one of my early posts, people very quickly suggested that maybe I should break up with my boyfriend (because of LDR issues, not incompatibility issues). I was blown away! No one had ever suggested that, and I thought about it, seriously. And THEN, just like that, after 4.5 yrs of expressing ambivalence about marriage and "future stuff", I realize just how deeply I loved him and that imagining my life without him just felt wrong. It was like a light bulb went off, and it has really transformed our relationship. I had been the one dragging about marriage, and once I "got on board", I have never seen BF so excited about the future, and so enthusiastic about us. (he ran out and got a ring almost immediately!) It is really an incredible feeling. And I had no idea that I was effecting "us" that way, but I was. And if no one had told me to leave, who knows when I would have gotten there. I didn't "take anyone's advice" per se, but I did listen to what was said, consider it in the context of my relationship, and I made a really positive change in our relationship.

The only problem now is that I am obsessed with PS...

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/18/2008 3:08:03 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 8/18/2008 2:37:00 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 8/17/2008 12:27:39 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Good question. We do see this a lot on PS. Part of me thinks the person wants to vent, to get their point across. But when people respond, being honest, well the truth hurts and then they get all defensive. If I had a dollar$ for every time this has happened on PS, I''d be one rich woman.

While i do agree with this.. i don''t think that the truth needs to be stated in a mean spirited manner. you do not need to treat posters with kid gloves.. but hateful will not work either. i just think that it can be damaging. people that post on here might be ''venting'' and upset at that moment... we are all upset at some point in our lives. it does not mean that their relationship is in crisis.. and that they are total morons because they are staying in a dead end relationship... different strokes for different folks. what works for some may not work for others.. that is part of being human . constructive critism is wonderful.. but when you are pouring salt in the would, than i think that you are causing more harm than good.

I agree, CBS. I think sometimes people just don''t realize they''re being mean. If you''re sitting face to face with someone, you can see their reaction and judge on how you should continue to interact with a person. If you say something to them and they start to tear-up a bit, then you''d know to back off.

Unfortunately, online, it''s hard to say if you''re probing too deep. I just think you should err on the side of ''too nice'' before you start really tearing into stuff.

I can''t imagine how I''d feel if I explained an argument that FF and I have had, and everyone on here said ''Umm, I think you have bigger issues at hand than X, why don''t you stop thinking about a wedding and start thinking about THERAPY?!''

A lot of us know red flags because we''ve been through it already. These are not red flags to people who have not had the experience. Just like we''ve learned through mistakes, other people have to also. One of the most frustrating things in the world is having to look at someone going through everything you''ve been through, knowing how it''s going to turn out, and not being able to do/say/fix anything.

It took me 5 years with a horrible BF to realize that if a guy wants to be with you, he''ll be nice to you.

FIVE YEARS!

But, again, thats completely ingrained in me, and now I have an FF who treats me like a princess.

One PS post won''t change anyone. At the very least, you can just hope that they at least consider your wisdom and experience.

And there is the root of the issue...you are not face to face with anyone on here. Someone who comes and vents or complains is CHOOSING to do so to potentially millions of random faceless people.

I am all for being sensitive and understanding that there is a person behind the screen. It''s called having compassion.

However, if you choose to air your problems on a PUBLIC internet forum, you are being naive if you think you aren''t going to get some blunt and opposing responses.

As for your original question LL, I think some people really can''t see their situation objective and come on here to complain, thinking they are going to get a round of "amen sister!" Then they are surprised to hear folks bring them down to earth.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:05:23 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/18/2008 3:08:03 PM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 8/18/2008 2:37:00 PM
Author: cbs102

Date: 8/17/2008 12:27:39 AM
Author: Kaleigh
Good question. We do see this a lot on PS. Part of me thinks the person wants to vent, to get their point across. But when people respond, being honest, well the truth hurts and then they get all defensive. If I had a dollar$ for every time this has happened on PS, I''d be one rich woman.

While i do agree with this.. i don''t think that the truth needs to be stated in a mean spirited manner. you do not need to treat posters with kid gloves.. but hateful will not work either. i just think that it can be damaging. people that post on here might be ''venting'' and upset at that moment... we are all upset at some point in our lives. it does not mean that their relationship is in crisis.. and that they are total morons because they are staying in a dead end relationship... different strokes for different folks. what works for some may not work for others.. that is part of being human . constructive critism is wonderful.. but when you are pouring salt in the would, than i think that you are causing more harm than good.

I agree, CBS. I think sometimes people just don''t realize they''re being mean. If you''re sitting face to face with someone, you can see their reaction and judge on how you should continue to interact with a person. If you say something to them and they start to tear-up a bit, then you''d know to back off.

Unfortunately, online, it''s hard to say if you''re probing too deep. I just think you should err on the side of ''too nice'' before you start really tearing into stuff.

I can''t imagine how I''d feel if I explained an argument that FF and I have had, and everyone on here said ''Umm, I think you have bigger issues at hand than X, why don''t you stop thinking about a wedding and start thinking about THERAPY?!''

A lot of us know red flags because we''ve been through it already. These are not red flags to people who have not had the experience. Just like we''ve learned through mistakes, other people have to also. One of the most frustrating things in the world is having to look at someone going through everything you''ve been through, knowing how it''s going to turn out, and not being able to do/say/fix anything.

It took me 5 years with a horrible BF to realize that if a guy wants to be with you, he''ll be nice to you.

FIVE YEARS!

But, again, thats completely ingrained in me, and now I have an FF who treats me like a princess.

One PS post won''t change anyone. At the very least, you can just hope that they at least consider your wisdom and experience.

And there is the root of the issue...you are not face to face with anyone on here. Someone who comes and vents or complains is CHOOSING to do so to potentially millions of random faceless people.

I am all for being sensitive and understanding that there is a person behind the screen. It''s called having compassion.

However, if you choose to air your problems on a PUBLIC internet forum, you are being naive if you think you aren''t going to get some blunt and opposing responses.

As for your original question LL, I think some people really can''t see their situation objective and come on here to complain, thinking they are going to get a round of ''amen sister!'' Then they are surprised to hear folks bring them down to earth.

you are right.. we are not face to face and this is a public forum. it is also run by human beings - and it is full of human beings venting and confiding their problems. i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:26:51 PM
Author: cbs102
you are right.. we are not face to face and this is a public forum. it is also run by human beings - and it is full of human beings venting and confiding their problems. i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

cbs, I agree. But I guess I am the type of person who thinks it is what it is, instead of what it *should* be. That doesn''t mean I won''t speak up if I think someone is being rude, but the fact of the matter is it is naive to think you will ONLY get supportive responses.

 

[decodelighted]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:26:51 PM
Author: cbs102
i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

Seriously, are you new to the internet?

This site is one of the nicest, most supportive forums around. If you consider US "just plain mean" ... I think you're the one that needs to brace yourself.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:30:19 PM
Author: TravelingGal

Date: 8/18/2008 4:26:51 PM
Author: cbs102
you are right.. we are not face to face and this is a public forum. it is also run by human beings - and it is full of human beings venting and confiding their problems. i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

cbs, I agree. But I guess I am the type of person who thinks it is what it is, instead of what it *should* be. That doesn't mean I won't speak up if I think someone is being rude, but the fact of the matter is it is naive to think you will ONLY get supportive responses.

and now i am agreeing with YOU

it just really makes me think about the people in this world. this is a close knit community of woman.. and of course there are the few that troll the forum ready to POUNCE... and i will say it again and again.. its not necessary. people will be heard in a kinder tone.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:31:25 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/18/2008 4:26:51 PM
Author: cbs102
i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

Seriously, are you new to the internet?

This site is one of the nicest, most supportive forums around. If you consider US ''just plain mean'' ... I think you''re the one that needs to brace yourself.

i am not speaking about you. and yes i have been on the internet for a long time...this site is chock full of supportive SMART women who are ready to be supportive and offer constructive advice and critism. some of the women on here... do not do this. instead, they offer personal attacks and believe that what they say is gospel. truthfully it is sickening. I do not need to brace myself because i am now aware of what is to come if you post a personal thread.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 8/18/2008 4:31:25 PM
Author: decodelighted

Date: 8/18/2008 4:26:51 PM
Author: cbs102
i agree that if you ask for advice, then you better be ready to hear different responses... i think especially on this site recently- you better brace yourself. people are just plain mean. and sometimes i wish that these people up on their soap boxes will get down and frigon LISTEN to what the poster is trying say, rather than verbally ripping them apart.

Seriously, are you new to the internet?

This site is one of the nicest, most supportive forums around. If you consider US ''just plain mean'' ... I think you''re the one that needs to brace yourself.

I had to laugh at this.

The internet is mean, for sure! And PS is definitely one of the nicest places to visit.

Just like some of us come to the internet to look for support, some people come to the internet to be bullies. They can be whoever they want to on the internet. It''s easy to hide behind the keyboard! I suppose that''s just the nature of it.

The anonymity is a blessing and a curse. It allows for unbiased (as compared to friends/family) opinions, but also leaves you wide open to people who just don''t want to be nice on here, and/or their opinions. By here, I mean the internet, not necessarily PS.

I guess we just have to try and not be sensitive, and if opinions are really out of hand, try not to take them personally, and just let them go.

 

[bee*]

It''s something that I wonder often as well LL. I honestly think that this forum is the most supportive one that I''ve ever seen which is why I choose to hang around on it so much. I don''t think anyone posts just to be mean, it just might not be what the OP wants to hear, which is why they chose to ignore it. I think that Holly''s post is very true.

 

[littlelysser]

I agree with Deco and Bee that the group of people that post on PS are among the best you''ll find online.

I''m not sure you could find a better group here.

CBS - I have posted a personal post or two on here...how to deal with an issue with my family...a wedding issue - and you know what? I didn''t receive a SINGLE mean reply.

Perhaps the posters that get the "mean" responses are doing something to merit them. You said yourself that there are posts where you think, "here it comes." and really, a poster that is complaining because her FF won''t agree to take on a ton of debt so she can get her 3 carat dream ring...well, how do you respond constructively to that? That is just an example...but sometimes I see posts that are simply unbelievable...

 

[diamondfan]

Look, I have been on here a while now and there are some posters who simply do come off as being tough. I have been reading threads and gone, Ohhhh big guns coming out, and it is not even that they are not correct, certainly they are bright and very savvy about tons of things, but it is the delivery. You get more reactions of a positive nature if you at least try to be a bit kind...you (the general you) are under no obligation to be one way or another, but still...and of course there are posters who are more fragile, sensitive, cannot hear things in opposition to their beliefs...if you get a sensitive person who does not want to hear anything contrary AND you get a blunt poster who lays it out there, get ready for the fur to fly...I am not saying kiss butt or sugar coat it all, if you disagree, well, you are allowed to say so...but I always try to envision sitting across from someone and now it would make me feel to say or to hear certain types of comments...

 

[galeteia]

Date: 8/18/2008 5:05:08 PM
Author: littlelysser
Perhaps the posters that get the 'mean' responses are doing something to merit them. You said yourself that there are posts where you think, 'here it comes.' and really, a poster that is complaining because her FF won't agree to take on a ton of debt so she can get her 3 carat dream ring...well, how do you respond constructively to that? That is just an example...but sometimes I see posts that are simply unbelievable...

Sometimes, though, posters are accused of some truly outrageous garbage, like the vent I posted about being told by coworkers that my relationship was invalid because we aren't having children, and in no time someone accused me of being 'one of those people who tries to run down [her] son with [my] cart in the supermarket'.

I appreciated those PS members who spoke up and condemned that kind of wild supposition.

When I don't have the energy to be diplomatic I just pass on posting. Why waste advice that will fall on deaf ears?

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/18/2008 5:21:15 PM
Author: Galateia

Date: 8/18/2008 5:05:08 PM
Author: littlelysser
Perhaps the posters that get the ''mean'' responses are doing something to merit them. You said yourself that there are posts where you think, ''here it comes.'' and really, a poster that is complaining because her FF won''t agree to take on a ton of debt so she can get her 3 carat dream ring...well, how do you respond constructively to that? That is just an example...but sometimes I see posts that are simply unbelievable...

Sometimes, though, posters are accused of some truly outrageous garbage, like the vent I posted about being told by coworkers that my relationship was invalid because we aren''t having children, and in no time someone accused me of being ''one of those people who tries to run down [her] son with [my] cart in the supermarket''.

I appreciated those PS members who spoke up and condemned that kind of wild supposition.

When I don''t have the energy to be diplomatic I just pass on posting. Why waste advice that will fall on deaf ears?

As a whole i do not think that PS is bad.. i would not be here otherwise. I have become very educated on diamonds, this was a godsend when i was a LIW and i was totally supported through out THAT process. There ARE wonderful women on this site and there ARE supportive women on this site. With the good does come the bad and i understand that. I also understand and recognize that some posters are plain loony.. but i no longer judge these people because i am not them. its not my life- i have my own to worry about. Diamondfan is right on. its the TONE that some use and it CAN be harmful. that is all i am saying. i do love this site. i find it totally helpful and addicting.... i am just a little more hesitant to post anything personal because i AM sensitive- especially to people who judge just to judge.

 

[diamondfan]

I think it is so interesting. I come here to post about things that I sometimes do not wish to discuss in life, or I have discussed it so much I need a fresh perspective.

there are people here who make me scratch my head sometimes, but I take things with a grain of salt too.

I can get offended if someone is absolutely rude or offensive to people. I might think, Euuw, not in my lifetime, but I do not post that way. I try to be balanced. If someone says something in a completely hurtful way, it makes me wonder about them, but I can either ignore that post and/or respond in the way I want to...but I like to try to help if I feel I have something constructive to offer.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/19/2008 1:13:54 PM
Author: diamondfan
I think it is so interesting. I come here to post about things that I sometimes do not wish to discuss in life, or I have discussed it so much I need a fresh perspective.

there are people here who make me scratch my head sometimes, but I take things with a grain of salt too.

I can get offended if someone is absolutely rude or offensive to people. I might think, Euuw, not in my lifetime, but I do not post that way. I try to be balanced. If someone says something in a completely hurtful way, it makes me wonder about them, but I can either ignore that post and/or respond in the way I want to...but I like to try to help if I feel I have something constructive to offer.

i just adore you. your whole outlook is right on. i love reading your kind posts and thoughtful responses

 

[diamondfan]

thanks cbs! I hope you plan to stick around too!

Trust me I am not always so easy peasy in life. Hubby thinks I am pretty tough!!! But I am not here to hurt people intentionally. Period. I might accidentally do so, but I am just not a mean spirited or tough minded person. I could not live with myself if I were deliberately cruel. Occasionally I can be a bit snarky, depends on a few factors, but I really am just being a bit playful or spirited and do not mean harm. If someone really attacks me, again, if I am not in the mood to let it go, I do respond, but I do not just rip them to shreds, even if I might be pretty upset.

For the most part, everyone here is here to be helpful and productive. Those who are not tend not to last.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 8/19/2008 3:25:13 PM
Author: diamondfan
thanks cbs! I hope you plan to stick around too!

Trust me I am not always so easy peasy in life. Hubby thinks I am pretty tough!!! But I am not here to hurt people intentionally. Period. I might accidentally do so, but I am just not a mean spirited or tough minded person. I could not live with myself if I were deliberately cruel. Occasionally I can be a bit snarky, depends on a few factors, but I really am just being a bit playful or spirited and do not mean harm. If someone really attacks me, again, if I am not in the mood to let it go, I do respond, but I do not just rip them to shreds, even if I might be pretty upset.

For the most part, everyone here is here to be helpful and productive. Those who are not tend not to last.

Good!