Why does everyone know he has the ring???

[Skychick]

I have only been on this board for a few months but there is something that bothers me. Why does everyone know he has the ring and is holding on to it?? Does he come home one day and say "Well, I have the ring now"? WHY??

I want absolutely NO IDEA the ring has been purchased. I want to just enjoy my time with bf instead of constantly wondering if today is the day.

I don''t mean to offend, I just don''t get it.

 

[princesss]

Sometimes couples go together to purchase the ring. Sometimes they order it online and the package notification is in the mail box. Sometimes they''re putting clothes away and stumble upon it. Things just happen sometimes, you know?

 

[lilyfoot]

This thread makes me chuckle

I know my BF "has" the diamond, since it''s an heirloom from my family. I also know when he got it appraised, and all that information. However, I won''t know when he purchases the ring and gets the diamond set, and that''s the way I prefer it. I want to be completely surprised by the proposal

 

[lucyandroger]

Lots of people pick out or design the ring together so they know when he bought it or approximately when it should be done by.

 

[Skychick]

I understand people accidentally find it.

I also understand that couples pick it out or design it together. That doesn''t mean she knows when it is in the house.

There have been several threads where the woman will say the her bf announced he had the ring. And there have been threads where he has "taunted" her. That is what I don''t understand.

 

[winelover23]

Because I''m psychic.

 

[HopeDream]

Hi Skychick,

This thread made me laugh.

I understand where you''re coming from.

My guy does not have the ring.

I read this thread to BF and now he''s playing games with me.
He keeps looking over at me with sly eyes and saying " I don''t have the ring ....... or do I? ........no I don''t ... but maybe I dooooooo!"

But he doesn''t!

I think some guys are just way more sly and secretive than others, and some LIW are more involved in the whole ring selection process.

My BF also said "It''s LIW- is where the ladies go to Wait!" guess it''s more likely ladies will be here if they know they''re waiting for something.

Cheers, and lots of dust heading your way.

HD

 

[Skychick]

winelover23 - if you are psychic, we need to talk

 

[winelover23]

Date: 11/11/2009 2:10:54 PM
Author: Skychick
winelover23 - if you are psychic, we need to talk

But you said you didn''t want to know.....

 

[Skychick]

We can talk about other things...

 

[winelover23]

Date: 11/11/2009 2:48:57 PM
Author: Skychick
We can talk about other things...

Ah I see...although I did just notice that you are just one above me on the LIW list and my BF has the ring (know due to my psychic abilities) so perhaps....

 

[lucyandroger]

Date: 11/11/2009 1:45:28 PM
Author: Skychick
I understand people accidentally find it.

I also understand that couples pick it out or design it together. That doesn''t mean she knows when it is in the house.

There have been several threads where the woman will say the her bf announced he had the ring. And there have been threads where he has ''taunted'' her. That is what I don''t understand.

I don''t understand those things either. haha

When you design the ring together though, it can only take so long for it to be complete. Some of the ladies here have been waiting months and months...My guess is they just assume he has it.

 

[girlygirl29]

What I know:
- I picked a setting about 4+ weeks ago
- The size of the diamond is needed for the specs of the setting to be made
- He has been to a jeweler, been looking at loose stones online since I choose the setting
- The actual setting can take 3-6 weeks

What I don''t know:
- The day the diamond was purchased or if it has been at all
- The day the setting was ordered
- If the setting is finished
- If the diamond is set?
- If it is in my house?
- If the proposal is planned? When?

What this all means:
I still have no idea and I spend way too much time thinking about it!

GG

 

[lilyfoot]

; HEIGHT: 132px" class="ibbquote">Date: 11/11/2009 3:32:59 PM
Author: girlygirl29

What this all means:
I still have no idea and I spend way too much time thinking about it!

GG

This cracked me up!

 

[bobbin]

We went shopping for the ring together. The trip was meant to be just to give him an idea of what I liked, but we walked into one of the stores and I tried on a ring and my eyes just lit up. It felt right and we both loved it. We spent a week umm-ing and ahh-ing over it but eventually we both decided that we should buy it and then he could hide it away somewhere until he was ready to propose.

I even went along to buy it with him, but that was because there needed to be some negotiating and I needed to get the saleslady to say that we could return it for certain reasons, and I was the best one to do it. When he brought the ring home, he even let me try it on, and I even have photos of it on my hand (my right hand though, I didn''t feel right about taking photos on my left hand until we are engaged).

It has now been almost five months, and I am guessing it will happen on our anniversary in December.

 

[fuzzers]

Skychick, I think if you search, I posted a thread about this a long time ago! It confused me too! It still does. I would go absolutely bonkers if I new BF had the ring and was just holding onto it (sometimes they hold onto it for up to a year... what??). Anway, I think the dynamic of engagement is changing. Women are more involved in the process. Whereas I, I guess, am a traditionalist, and I prefer:

Boy and girl look at rings.
Boy purchases ring in secret.
Boy surprises girl with ring.

Who knows how it will end up though.

 

[katomm]

FI does not know my taste in jewelry because I wear so very little and never, ever wear rings. He had to ask me to pic a setting and my size. I''m glad he did, I''m a little afraid of what he would''ve picked on his own as he doesn''t wear jewelry at all. LOL

 

[LtlFirecracker]

All that I know is that my BF cannot afford too many expenses right now because he has a "really big purchase coming up."

 

[crossmyfingers]

Skychick, I know what you mean. I''d love to go ring shopping with my BF and I wouldn''t even mind knowing most of the details of what I''ll end up getting... But it would KILL me to know once he had the ring!

I''m lucky too, because I know that he would want to give me it as soon as possible once he has it. Which is really good, since I would be so bummed to think I ruined the surprise if I happened to find a receipt or the ring box.

 

[Lozza]

He he - you were probably reading my post! I think this is very much a case of ''each to his own''.

We picked out the ring together, and I knew approx how long it would take. We''re crap at keeping secrets from each other. Whether we''re excited, sad, worried etc.. the other one ALWAYS knows. As soon as he came home a little excited, I just knew he had picked it up!

I also don''t like surprises much. Last year, he organised a surprise party for my birthday, and I spent the first half an hour all shaky and anxious until I''d had a few drinks to calm down. So for something as big as a proposal, I''d like to be prepared!

 

[vc10um]

Date: 11/11/2009 3:53:05 PM
Author: lilyfoot

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 132px">Date: 11/11/2009 3:32:59 PM
Author: girlygirl29

What this all means:
I still have no idea and I spend way too much time thinking about it!

GG

This cracked me up!

Ditto.

 

[suny27]

I know because I picked it out, purchased it with his credit card and waited for fed-ex to bring it to me. I made sure it was exactly what I wanted and then I handed it over to him for what seems like an eternity of waiting but has only been a couple of months. I have wondered if I would have liked to have been completely surprised but it is an expensive purchase and if we''re gonna spend that much money on something I wanted to make sure he got a good deal. He is not much of a shopper and didn''t seem interested in diamonds so I''m not sure what he would have brought. That''s a scary thought. I must admit that knowing he has it makes the waiting very hard!

 

[Squirrly]

i knew when he was supposed to have it, because he told me it hadn''t come yet

now i know he doesn''t have it

and after that couple months of me going crazy wondering, he''s not getting it back to make me wonder again

 

[ringless]

This thread made me laugh too...

We went to look at rings together, but I never knew when he purchased it, or where he had hid it before her proposed. I liked the surprise of it all.... it definitely made the proposal special. Everyone is different, every relationship is different... I liked being surprised with what ring he was going to choose and not knowing when it would happen (of course I needed a ''timeframe'' but that was enough for me I think my fiance felt like more of a man by being able to choose the ring, purchasing it, hiding it, and surprising me with a proposal. I loved it that way and it was perfect for US.

 

[Skychick]

Thanks for sharing with me. I guess I am lucky I like the jewelry my BF picks out.

 

[Sam82]

He flat out told me the day he paid for the ring.

 

[jeg80]

I know b/c my Mom gave us the diamond and we shipped it off to Leon Mege! He has bought me one peice of jewelery which I ended up exchanging so he definitely wanted me to pick the setting. I picked up the finished ring from FedEx a few months ago

and handed it to him, but never got to see it and he has had it ever since. I know he was waiting until after my bridzilla-of-a-sister''s wedding (she already menioned that she would be mad if I "stole any of her spotlight") which was last weekend...so hopefully any day now

 

[AustenNut]

Date: 11/13/2009 3:00:24 PM
Author: jeg80
I know he was waiting until after my bridzilla-of-a-sister''s wedding (she already menioned that she would be mad if I ''stole any of her spotlight'') which was last weekend...so hopefully any day now

Wow. You seem to be handling that part well; I''m not so sure that I would have.


As far as the ring goes my bf knows I look at stones and we''ve done a little bit of shopping together. While at a jewelry store (the probable one we''ll use) he said that he probably wouldn''t be ready to buy until February or March as he''ll be using his tax refund to help fund the ring. It''s possible that he was trying to get one over on me so I''d have no clue, but I doubt it as that isn''t his general personality. So I''m guessing a proposal might be in March or April, but don''t want to know when the ring comes in. Of course, I''m getting increasingly involved with the ring process, so it''s possible I will know.

 

[jeg80]

AustenNut- It was SUPER hard to wait all that time but I knew that it was coming so I tried my hardest to be patient. He actually proposed last night

 

[waterlilly]

Skychick, I totally agree!

I don't really see the excitement of "he has the ring, when will it happen" being even remotely close to the excitement of being totally swept off your feet with a true surprise.

Having me pick out stone & design the ring would have been - well, just weird in my mind. That isn't how I pictured my engagement going down, ever.

It is so easy to find out what your girlfriend likes in terms of stone shape/size (IF you pay attention! or have her girlfriends do the work for you!) and pick a diamond, have it set in a very simple setting to propose with and then let the girl change it or pick out the forever setting after the fact, why not just do that and have the moment be a total surprise instead of doing all that ahead of time?

And once you have the ring and both people know about it - what the heck is the point of waiting?!

Times are changing I guess!