Why is it rude to ask about specs?

[ksinger]

You should not care about the specs of someone else's ring.

No one should care about yours.

It is a way to compare, analyze, scrutinize, criticize, and come away either feeling superior at the expense of someone else, or feeling bad about how yours measures up to theirs.

We may all like diamonds, other stones, and jewelry in general here on PS. We may even be obsessed with it. But that's no reason to reason away common courtesy.

Wow, Holly, I wouldn't consider demonstrating some academic interest synonymous to reasoning away common courtesy.

Yeah, I don't either. I pretty much love all rocks, and I'm about the only one I know who does. I'm not comparing them, I just love to LOOK at them. All my girlfriends and acquaintances know I'm crazy this way and indulge me. Now, that said, I don't ask for specs simply because 1)most people I've met don't actually KNOW them other than carat weight, (so what's the point) and 2) it's too academic for most people and would make me look like an even bigger geek than I am. I usually just enthuse over someone's lovely ring without whipping out my loupe (although if the enthusiasm was returned, I might ask then - you can usually tell when you've begun "talking shop"). Usually something along the line of, "OK, you simply must let me see that gorgeous ring you've been flashing, because I'm a diamond freak!" Believe it or not, I CAN be quite charming at times, and who is not charmed by genuine enthusiasm and sincere compliments? Maybe the day will come, but I've honestly never had a bad reaction yet.

 

[Cehrabehra]

I think that's right. Non-gemmies often take it to mean, "How much did it cost you?"

and the gemmies will already know about what it cost lol

I get uncomfortable with people start asking questions...

1. size - 2.71 is quite large for most of the people I encounter and it immediately starts questions about cost. I have NO problem discussing my finances with people who make more, but around people who make less I get very uncomfortable. If I'm talking to someone who has a $50k ring saying mine is under $25k seems modest. But to someone with a $2k ring I feel opulent, spoiled, and braggy to discuss it and I don't like feeling like that.

2. color - I LOVE my J color and if anything wish it was an M or P or somewhere in that range... I truly, sincerely love my color. BUT other people can be snobby about a color "that low" and I hate feeling like I need to justify my choice.

3. shape - people don't understand what a cushion is lol

 

[rosetta]

I never discuss specs. Only on PS. And that's that.

 

[HollyS]

You should not care about the specs of someone else's ring.

No one should care about yours.

It is a way to compare, analyze, scrutinize, criticize, and come away either feeling superior at the expense of someone else, or feeling bad about how yours measures up to theirs.

We may all like diamonds, other stones, and jewelry in general here on PS. We may even be obsessed with it. But that's no reason to reason away common courtesy.

Wow, Holly, I wouldn't consider demonstrating some academic interest synonymous to reasoning away common courtesy.

If you are strictly talking about an academic interest HERE, fine. Your friends, acquaintances, family members, etc. that you pose such questions to IRL will think you are beyond rude. Which explains your original question . . . doesn't it?

 

[mayerling]

The question is not whether it's rude. The fact that it's considered rude is a given. The original question asks why it's rude.

 

[swingirl]

The question is not whether it's rude. The fact that it's considered rude is a given. The original question asks why it's rude.

I think it's rude in general to ask questions about money. Diamonds = wealth or purity. Different cultural attitudes, too.