Worst case of LIWitis

[captainmcgee]

Hey Ladies!

I have been MIA as I have been trying to keep my mind off engagement. It worked for a while but now I am back because I am in such a bad stage of LIWitis Not sure what to do. I just can't understand why he has kept the ring for 4 months. He doesn't look like he will be using it anytime soon either. I really don't know what I am meant to do or how to act. It's getting me down heaps and just when I feel like he is acting especially sweet or unusual or up to something it is nothing.....I just don't know how I can keep waiting. He has even said things like it's not going to be for at least a year but he says that when he gets frustrated but I don't think that's fair to say that. He knows its a difficult subject...

Has anyone got any ideas of what to do and how to get through it?

Thanks!

Mif!

 

[kateydid05]

mif, i'm sorry you're bumming right now. This is the part that I don't understand (in general not necessarily with you)--having the ring for an extended period of time and not doing anything with it (unless he is waiting for a very specific moment). He may be trying to throw you off but maybe he doesn't understand how it is bothering you. I know that if my boyfriend purchased the ring, it's happening soon after...he can't keep a secret to save his life. So I'm sorry I don't have much advice but I can understand your feelings. I hope you feel better!

 

[slg47]

mif I am sorry, I also don't understand why he would hold onto the ring for so long! doesn't make sense to me but maybe he needs to do it on his own terms and when he feels the time is right. Autumnovember had a similar situation, maybe she will see this thread. I'm afraid I don't have any advice but **hugs**

 

[iheartscience]

Whenever I hear about a guy holding onto a ring for a really long time (unless there's an actual reason to do so) it just seems really controlling. And him telling you it won't be for at least a year when he's mad at you confirms that.

Have you had a calm, serious talk with him about why he is holding onto the ring? Or has it just been fights here and there? And more importantly, do you really want to be with someone who withholds something this important from you for no reason?

 

[Glitz]

~* HUGS *~ All I can say is that I hope you're able to calmly and rationally communicate with him how this is making you feel. Maybe letting him know that it hurts you this much will open his eyes, and speed up his proposal. Good luck.

 

[yssie]

I also don't get the point of holding on for the ring for a year, or more - if you don't want to get married anytime soon why not have a long engagement? If you don't know that you're ready to commit to marriage why buy a ring now (and as I recall yours was not exactly an inexpensive enterprise)? If you're waiting for one specific time - 5yr anniversary, some special trip you've got planned, as katey said, that's different... did he ever explain *why* he wants to wait so long?

 

[amc80]

I know that if my boyfriend purchased the ring, it's happening soon after...he can't keep a secret to save his life.

I'd be mad as well. It definitely seems like a power thing...unless there's some occasion he's waiting for. My BF had my ring for about an hour, but I know we're at the other end of the spectrum.

 

[maebelle]

Make sure he knows how you are feeling, but don't try to blow up too much, who knows what he might be planning.

I feel like 4 months is a long time to have the ring though. Once I buy a present I have so much trouble waiting until the appointed time to give it, SO usually has his gifts at least 2 weeks before christmas/ birthdays

 

[jenmarie]

I don't get it either. My fiancé had the ring for a little under a month, but that was only because he was waiting for a specific date (our 5th anniversary/6 years since he told me he was in love with me). Had that not been the case, I think it would've been even less time. Once his mind was made up that he was ready to buy a ring, he couldn't wait to propose. It's kind of funny because he wasn't in any rush before, but after he got the ring and we got engaged, we were both ready to get married right away, despite planning on a long engagement.

Best of luck to you. Is it the same ring that you posted a while back? If so, it's totally gorgeous!!

 

[captainmcgee]

Thanks for all the replies ladies. Yes same ring - I have to look at it occasionally because it's been so long haha.

It's so hard because sometimes I trick myself into thinking he might be doing it and then I just realise, no he isn't there is so much more going on in his head at the moment. It's just not where his head is at. I think it might have been back when we got the ring but so much has happened since then (not with us, we are stronger than ever) and maybe it's just too much at the moment.

It's even harder because I get down and then I think, if I could just stop thinking about it, I'd couldn't be happier.

Anyway, there are a couple of reasons he is holding onto it apparently. When we purchased the ring he said that I shouldn't expect it right away. According to him the price was right at the time and he didn't want to miss out on the perfect ring by waiting. That is just part of the reason for the wait.

First of all he wanted us to be settled completely we have been living together for a year and a half I graduated last october. I have just gotten full time employment after graduatation and that was important to him that I be employed full time before the proposal.

Secondly, due to his job, it is unconventional, therefore there is a limited window for any sort of fun haha ie. trips, proposals, parties anything like that so he had over xmas (we had just purchased it) or wait until september or maybe Easter when he has a break but that's a very slim possibility (a perfect opportunity but probably not happening).

Third, he said he wants to surprise me and by keeping it a while he hoped I would forget a bit, relax about it all and allow him time to prepare a proposal to remember. Most things we do together, picked the ring, choose presents for each other together etc so I think he really wants to do this on his own, no pressure from anyone (parents etc) and wants it to be memorable and as many have said before he wants to take this one opportunity when to man up and do his "part" as he would say.

Finally, I think he thinks he is still young (he isn't) but he feels like "oh we have ages" (as I am 4 years younger than him). I think he is a bit confused. He really wants to married me and gets very excited about our future and our lives together and he actually likes to talk weddings, guest lists, venues, color schemes etc and tells me I am the one and I have no doubt about that. But he has been going through an extremely tough period over the last 8.5 months and just as we thought it was getting better it has started to go down hill again. I just think it may have been thrown to the back of his mind (which is understandable with everything that has been going on).

I just keep telling myself it will happen but then I think when? It has been 4 months, I understand the reasons but I feel like as they say, if he wants to get married he would have proposed already....It's so hard for me to understand.

I don't want to pressure him as I can see it would bring about more stress and he is already under a lot.

Thanks for listening ladies.

Mif

 

[Autumnovember]

Hi

My now Fiance held onto the ring for 8 months before finally proposing to me. No matter how many times he explained his reasoning to me, it never made sense and it still doesn't. If he had known beforehand that he would have been holding onto the ring for that long, there really was absolutely no reason for me to even know that the ring had been bought, when the ring was completed, when the ring was put in the safe. I still to this day think its absolutely ridiculous to put somebody through that. All I can say is that I'm sorry you are going through this, God knows I had a ton of melt downs as a result. It made me wonder what made him so ready to make such an expensive purchase yet not ready to propose to me. It made me feel like something was wrong with me, like I still had something to prove to him. I hated every second of it...it lead to a lot of unnecessary arguing.

My fiance also used the same excuse as yours; that he found the perfect ring, perfect price, perfect diamond and didn't want to let go of it. I still don't agree with it.

I hope that he is just telling you that he won't be giving you the ring for a while only because he is angry and not because he actually means it although that doesn't make it okay in any way. I think you really need to communicate how much it upsets you that he tries to use something like that against you when you're arguing and how much it affects you.

Honestly, all you really can do is just sit tight and wait. Occupy yourself. I know for a fact that I ruined the way that my fiance wanted to propose because of how crazy waiting was making me. I'm sure you want the perfect proposal so just try your very best to be as patient as possible, although I know how crazy hard it can be. You'll get there!

 

[captainmcgee]

Thank you Autumn.

Well the thing is we did the whole ring thing together so that's how I know about it all. I designed the ring and decided on the stone etc. I truely believe he thinks there is no rush because I am younger and I have only just gotten full time work I did a 6 year degree. It isn't like I am just straight out of school or anything and we've been living together for over a year and a half. I am not sure whether it is because he is worried about what other people might think (which commonly effects him - he is very insecure and worried about what others think) or whether he is just not focused at all and thinks of well i'll do it one day, whatever (cause it scares him).

I just find it so odd because he is always saying I am so devoted to you and love you more than in the world and makes me feel like he is ready and thinking about it and then nothing happens

I will just have to try and keep my head together and focus on other things but in the mids of all that has been happening it's hard.

 

[hearts-arrows_girl]

Waiting sucks! I would just be patient. It sounds like you know he loves you, so there should be no worries. What else can you do, have a fight over it? I am sure he knows how anxious you are. Pretend you're not going out of your mind waiting, and let him surprise you. I looked at your ring pictures, WOW!!! What a knockout. Let him "spring it on you" You get the gorgeous huge ring, let him have the fun of deciding when and where to propose with it. Oh, and I read your posts on the inclusion bothering you, I know from experience that if it's not one thing, it's another. If you go down in size and up in clarity, you may be soon posting about DSS. (I noticed in your original post that you specifically were looking for a 4ct+) I would learn to love your stone's birthmarks. Consider them a way to know it's YOUR stone! Just relax and know how lucky you are to have a man that would buy you such a wonderful ring. You probably wouldn't want to have your man think that you are less then over the moon with the $73,000 ring he got you, and it sounds like you may be less than thrilled right now. But that's just my opinion, mine is an SI and I love it. I hope he proposes soon and I hope you will be able to love your gorgeous ring! (( hugs))

 

[captainmcgee]

Thank you so much for all your advice ladies.

hearts-arrows_girl, I think that is great advice. I am going to try that for a while.

Since having the ring I have peaked (oops) and I have learned to love my stones birthmarks I have to say I am more than over the moon, head over heels in love with this ring and even more so with my incredible SO. It can be difficult to wait but I feel like when it happens everything will be perfect. I just have to hope that it isn't another year down the road I might go crazy!!!!

I sometimes question whether it is a power play because I was included in the whole process and he wants to control this aspect but surely he doesn't need a year and a half??

Anyway, I am trying to come to terms with it and just move on and enjoy what we have (which is incredible) and know that the next step will be just as amazing, if not more

I will visit back here if I am having dramas (more than likely I will be on the other side of the fence again tomorrow haha, I have good and bad days). All of you lovely ladies are such a great support because it is so hard to talk to anyone I know about these sorts of issues as many of my friends had it just happen and also no one knows we have the ring!

 

[16ocean]

Sending you some dust! dusty dust dust . . . . . .your way

 

[captainmcgee]

Thanks so much 16ocean needing it!

 

[vanilla87]

Mif.... I know how u feel!! SO has had my ring since December and im not expecting it anytime soon!! With the season upon us and training, travel, games on weekends there is no time at all till at least late September (if nO finals). Chin up babe... I'm here waiting with you xxxx

 

[vintagelover229]

I feel your pain, I really do. My SO has had my ring for a very long time (9 months ) and I'm not sure when I'll be getting it (hopefully by Aug though!) There are many reasons for him to hold onto the ring for this long though (and longer yet still) and it's super hard not to get upset or have a case of the LIW like you. The ring was such a good deal that he bought it only after dating me a few short months (we knew we were going to be together very shortly after meeting). We wouldn't have been able to get anything like the ring we got if we hadn't taken the deal when it presented itself. I was so certain he'd propose on our anniversary but he didn't. So I've given up on when, where and how long bc I'd driven myself half mad thinking about it. I always made it to a deadline and it always passed in my head and more disappointment would surface. I also know where my ring is and he says I can "visit" it if I want to. I told him it's like a tease and that I don't want to see it. There's nothing worse then putting the ring on and loving it and loving what it represents and then having to pack it back up in it's box and put it in the corner and wait for it to be "real" so I just don't have anything to do with it. I'm really hoping he does it this summer (heck I had a wedding planned in my head for this summer lol so much for that!) but now I'm thinking more towards us getting married this winter (yay for possible destination wedding and finding awesome seashell bouquets!).

One thing is for certain, no matter HOW hard it is to wait for the ring and not having it happen when I wanted it to...time sure has flown either way! We still get to spend time with our best friend and enjoy our life together...we just know there is bling at the end of the road!

HUGS!

 

[captainmcgee]

Vintagelover, *dust* to you

Thanks for the advice, it's so hard isn't it. I know where the ring is and have to "visit" sometimes I am not sure why, I guess the beauty and what it means gets me and yes it is so hard when I do that but it might be getting me through this!
Just have to keep busy and remember that he bought it for a reason I guess.

Vanilla - my goodness I am going crazy thinking that it might not be until earliest september Hope yours is earlier - I mean there are always Bye weekends haha *hopefully*. Hope you're going well, I am trying to keep busy and forget and just hope time flies till then. *dust*

 

[Winks_Elf]

First of all he wanted us to be settled completely we have been living together for a year and a half I graduated last october. I have just gotten full time employment after graduatation and that was important to him that I be employed full time before the proposal.

Secondly, due to his job, it is unconventional, therefore there is a limited window for any sort of fun haha ie. trips, proposals, parties anything like that so he had over xmas (we had just purchased it) or wait until september or maybe Easter when he has a break but that's a very slim possibility (a perfect opportunity but probably not happening).

Third, he said he wants to surprise me and by keeping it a while he hoped I would forget a bit, relax about it all and allow him time to prepare a proposal to remember. Most things we do together, picked the ring, choose presents for each other together etc so I think he really wants to do this on his own, no pressure from anyone (parents etc) and wants it to be memorable and as many have said before he wants to take this one opportunity when to man up and do his "part" as he would say.

Finally, I think he thinks he is still young (he isn't) but he feels like "oh we have ages" (as I am 4 years younger than him). I think he is a bit confused.

Okay, no offense, but these things are so contradictory it's not even funny! If he really feels "Oh, we have ages...", then you really should not even be living together. Since you DO live together already, how would he surprise you when he seems to have a "limited window for any sort of fun..."?

Please forgive my negativity, as it is coming from the heart of a mom with two daughters and two sons. If it was one of MY daughters posting this, the very first thing I would tell her to do is to pack her bags and come home until her BF manned up and decided what he wanted to do with his life. He's getting the milk for free while dangling an invisible carat over your head, and you're waiting patiently for it to fall on your finger. Not right, not fair. If it was one of my sons, I'd smack him upside the head and tell him to crap or get off the pot.

For all these guys who purchase a ring with no intention of proposing anytime soon, there are five guys tripping over themselves to please their lady. The game of buying a ring and holding on to it for months and years...It's controlling, nasty, a waste of money, and it breeds resentment. Until women learn to stand up for themselves and say, "well, let me know when you're ready to get serious...maybe I'll be available, maybe I won't. ", these boys will continue to waste away the best years of your young lives. At 20-years-old you should be out having fun, exploring your world, making memories that will entertain you years from now when you're tied down with kids and a mortgage. Enjoy your youth, realize your potential and your worth, and insist on being treated as the incredibly talented, smart, beautiful woman that you are. A man will only treat you how you allow him to.

 

[captainmcgee]

Thanks Winks_elf for the advice.

I am 24 and he feels like because I am younger than he is that he has a while until he thinks it's the perfect time. I completely agree - after reading your post I feel like it is extremely unfair and we might need to have a serious chat about it. He says he wants to have paid of his second property before so we can have no debt but I feel like this is a while off which is completely unfair.

The window of opportunity thing is a shame due to his job but I am not asking for a weekend away or anything just a home cooked meal by candle light or a walk on the beach would be enough for me and he could do that any night of the week so I am not sure whether I was using that as an excuse.

 

[Winks_Elf]

"His second property"???

So in other words, he wants to make sure that he's got HIS investments prior to marriage, and you would not be entitled to it in the event of a divorce. What exactly is in YOUR name? What investments do YOU have aside from the time you've spent waiting for him to propose? You are 24 years old. You're young now. What guarantees do you have that after waiting patiently for the year to be up that he'll propose? Or go through with a wedding?

Again, I apologize for being cynical. I'm much older than you, and I'm physically old enough to be your mother. I'm realistic enough to realize that in this day and age it's sometimes very practical to live together prior to marriage, but despite having BTDT, I understand NOW why my mother and father always said "don't live with a guy until there's a ring on your finger and the catering contract has been signed." When you co-habitate, you run the risk of not only getting your heart broken by a guy who strings you along for years while he uses your financial contributions to make life easier on his wallet (like him being able to pay off his second property because you are splitting the bills 50/50...don't know if you are or are not, I'm just sayin'), but you also run the risk of wasting the best years of your young adulthood on a guy who is no where near ready to commit to a lifetime with the same woman. Please note this is NOT always the case. It's not just the sitting around, driving yourself nuts waiting for a proposal and knowing that he has the ring hidden somewhere. It's the fact that you've invested a lot of time, energy and emotions into this relationship with no guarantees.

In man-terms, which I'm sure HE would be able to understand, you've taken the house off the real estate market and pretty much guaranteed that you'll wait around for the next year while the potential buyer decides whether or not they're going to submit the offer. The potential buyer sounds like they're really interested, and they've even moved their belongings into the property without any guarantees of a purchase, and are enjoying exclusive use of the property without actually investing anything but time into it. They can pull out at any time. This is essentially what a co-habitating man who dangles a ring in front of a woman but is not ready to propose is doing.

You have every right to be frustrated, worried, sad, and down-right pissed off. The reason a man gets upset when a woman brings up the topic is because he knows she's right...and he's busted.

 

[captainmcgee]

Winks_Elf, thanks so much for your imput. Due to it I actually sat down and had a chat with him. I am really glad I did.

I said to him I feel like this is unfair as I feel like you are stringing me along to which he replied 'I promise you I am not I love you more than anything in the world and I want to marry you.'

I said to that well then what is the hold up? Why are post-poning it? You are financially stable, (we aren't splitting 50/50), you want to marry me, what's going? He said to me that he wasn't post poning it rather he wanted to find the perfect time particularly because the ring was a joint project and he wants the proposal to be all his. While this sounds promising maybe it's a stalling tactic?

I am prepared to have a huge chat to him if it doesn't happen in the near future. I don't want to push him into it but why buy the ring if you don't want to use it??

 

[FuturePsyD]

"His second property"???

So in other words, he wants to make sure that he's got HIS investments prior to marriage, and you would not be entitled to it in the event of a divorce. What exactly is in YOUR name? What investments do YOU have aside from the time you've spent waiting for him to propose? You are 24 years old. You're young now. What guarantees do you have that after waiting patiently for the year to be up that he'll propose? Or go through with a wedding?

Again, I apologize for being cynical. I'm much older than you, and I'm physically old enough to be your mother. I'm realistic enough to realize that in this day and age it's sometimes very practical to live together prior to marriage, but despite having BTDT, I understand NOW why my mother and father always said "don't live with a guy until there's a ring on your finger and the catering contract has been signed." When you co-habitate, you run the risk of not only getting your heart broken by a guy who strings you along for years while he uses your financial contributions to make life easier on his wallet (like him being able to pay off his second property because you are splitting the bills 50/50...don't know if you are or are not, I'm just sayin'), but you also run the risk of wasting the best years of your young adulthood on a guy who is no where near ready to commit to a lifetime with the same woman. Please note this is NOT always the case. It's not just the sitting around, driving yourself nuts waiting for a proposal and knowing that he has the ring hidden somewhere. It's the fact that you've invested a lot of time, energy and emotions into this relationship with no guarantees.

In man-terms, which I'm sure HE would be able to understand, you've taken the house off the real estate market and pretty much guaranteed that you'll wait around for the next year while the potential buyer decides whether or not they're going to submit the offer. The potential buyer sounds like they're really interested, and they've even moved their belongings into the property without any guarantees of a purchase, and are enjoying exclusive use of the property without actually investing anything but time into it. They can pull out at any time. This is essentially what a co-habitating man who dangles a ring in front of a woman but is not ready to propose is doing.

You have every right to be frustrated, worried, sad, and down-right pissed off. The reason a man gets upset when a woman brings up the topic is because he knows she's right...and he's busted.

Your posts are really insightful and I totally agree. I'm curious to know if you feel the same way in regards to long term relationships without cohabitation? For example, if mif was not living with her boyfriend, however they were in the same situation where she was waiting around for him to get his stuff together and propose (like many of us LIWs ), would your advice be the same?

 

[captainmcgee]

Yes I am also interested to hear your answer.

I must say I am glad we live together as his job is so crazy we would hardly have had time to grow our relationship and he says as do I completely agree that we have only gotten strong for living together. He also says I love you more every single day just when I thought it was impossible to love anyone that much it gets strong. So I am glad we live together and I don't think either of our parents would have believe it wise for us to get engaged without living together first, just a view we all share.

I have just got to hope he wants what I want (which I feel deeply that he does) and he says he does and that it will be in the near future. I am not the type to wait around so there is no danger or me hanging around. As much as I hate to say it there is some sort of a timeline for me in terms of waiting not because of my age or anything rather I just think if it doesn't happen within that time there is something wrong.

 

[Winks_Elf]

No, my advice would be very different.

When you are not living together, it's more of a level playing field. You have the freedom to come and go as you please, your space is your own, and your time is your own. Living together can be at times like being a bird in a cage, waiting to see what is going to happen next.

If the OP was not living together, I would suggest that she have a casual "where is this relationship going" talk, and in the meanwhile, find ways of occupying herself. When you're still living on your own, you have no guilt about going out with the girls, taking a class, developing hobbies, etc. If you're not sitting around waiting on a man, and he sees that you have a full life without him, he's more likely to be interested in being a part of that life rather than feeling like your life hinges on what he's up to.

Ours is not a typical romance, and things were not always smooth sailing with my husband. We've known each other since we were 16, dated at 18, moved in together at age 19, lived together for a few years until I realized that he was immature, no where near ready for marriage, and I kicked his a$$ to the curb. Seven years later, we wound up back together, I wound up pregnant with our daughter, and we were married when she was 2. When #4 was a few weeks old, I found out he was cheating and again kicked him out, wound up divorced. He's a recovering alcoholic who will celebrate a full year of sobriety this Friday. I always knew we'd be back together, and believe me I did EVERYTHING I could to keep away from him, but it came down to a matter of timing. He had to hit rock bottom first, and hit it he did. He got himself cleaned up, and we "undid the divorce," as he likes to put it, last April. We aren't even celebrating an anniversary in April, but rather we consider our true wedding anniversary to be when we were first married. It will be 9 years this June 15th.

Over the course of our 25-year relationship, he has taught me a lot. He's made me stronger, challenged me to be at my best, made me feel at my worst, taught me to trust my gut instincts, and that others will only treat you as you allow them to. I've often talked to him about the various threads in this section, and there are times he'll shake his head and pretty much say the same things that I've said here. Some (not all) men will string a woman along as long as they can. Others have a legitimate reason for holding back on a proposal. The reasons vary from wanting to make it spectacular to wanting to make absolutely positively certain they have no doubts whatsoever that they are doing the right thing. BUT, the most important thing we both agree upon is that the only thing worse than doubting your relationship is to be doubting your relationship AND being afraid to speak up about it. If you feel like you're walking on eggshells around your partner, say something. Trust your gut instincts...they'll rarely steer you wrong.

 

[inflorescence]

"that others will only treat you as you allow them to."... "the only thing worse than doubting your relationship is to be doubting your relationship AND being afraid to speak up about it. If you feel like you're walking on eggshells around your partner, say something. Trust your gut instincts...they'll rarely steer you wrong.

You give wonderful advice... I will be sure to take this to heart. Thank you

 

[faded264]

Your ring is gorgeous!

I know it's hard (and if it were me it would be hard for me to take my own advice) but I would just chill out and wait a little longer. He definitely wouldn't spend that much on a ring if he wasn't completely sure.

Maybe he's hoping you'll forget about it (huh, guys ) so he can surprise you. My boyfriend asked me the other night whether it's all I think about. I'm guessing he's hoping I'll forget about it so he can surprise me with a proposal.

Maybe he figures since you already know what the ring looks like, he'll surprise you with engagement.

 

[captainmcgee]

Thanks faded!

I am going to try.

 

[lisalikessparkles]

Omg Lady I would be going INSANE.

I just saw pics of your ring and I am in AWE. I would want that rock on my finger ASAP too!!!

There has been so much amazing advice on here so I won't go too much into it, but I will offer you what my SO has discussed with me when I started to become slightly too impatient:

They want it to be PERFECT. He is probably waiting to surprise you with something amazing. The worst part of that is that you really need to be not expecting it... How to do that? God I don't know. I keep telling myself it's not happening until after certain times so I don't worry about it. We're buying a house so I've told myself it will be a long time after we sort that out. It does make life easier, means I'm not expecting it every signficant or slightly romantic occasion and he's free to plan something and get the reaction he really wants from you.

I am quite sure he wants to blow your mind, when you least expect it.. he wants to put you off the scent and everytime you mention it or he thinks you're expecting it he will keep putting it off. It sucks, and I fought with my SO over this for a long time, but now i realise this is his moment and he wants it to be amazing. It's probably one of the most important things he will ever do in your relationship and while we're all thinking of weddings and kids and all other amazing important things they really only have this ONE responsibility.. and its a heavy weight to bear from what I can gather.

He's spent a fair bit of his money on you darling, he's bought a KNOCKOUT ring.. it's bigger than anything I will ever receive.. and my SO hasnt even bought mine yet I don't think.. so honey.. it's there, its in the house.. you know he loves you and wants to be with you.

I think now you have to be the zen master of yourself and try to relax. 4 months is a long time, but if each time he gets close to it and then thinks you're expecting it he will keep prolonging. I would try to distance myself from it, plan a little holiday or something (and dont expect it on that holiday ha ha!) and try to get back to real life and I bet it will happen right at the second you have forgotten about it. xxx