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Worst case of LIWitis

Thanks Lisa.

It is sooo hard though my SO can only take holidays one specific time of the year and works weekends so we cant' really plan any of that but I can look forward to Easter :)

I am going to try and just relax and focus on myself and being the best possible me and see what happens!

I just sometimes question whether he is even planning anything. I think he actually just thinks oh it will happen sometime currently I don't need to think about it. That's the part that worries me. I know it will happen, it's just that I am not sure he even has thought about when.
 
I don't live inside a man brain but I know with my SO, and his ex (so annoying that he's done this before!!) but.. I remember him calling me to tell me he was going to propose.. he had been with her for almost 4 years and for him it sort of just felt like the next step. What made him decide to propose was they were scuba diving on a boat with dolphins and he thought what a great proposal scene that would be.. literally the proposal opportunity was what made him make up his mind to do it, and he hadnt thought of it for even a second before that moment. I thought it was abit odd at the time, but now I'm thinking they really just dont think about it much at all, its one of those things that when they see something perfect for it, they all of a sudden ram into first gear and do it straight away.

Obviously some people plan it and have an idea for a long time and I think my SO will do it very differently with me, but men really are mysteries to us, and from memory you're 24 right? Perhaps he wants you to be a little older to make sure he is the one YOU really want? God I could guess a million things here, but its torture putting yourself through this.

If I were you I would tell him its bothering you that its actually turning something that should be positive into something negative for you and upsetting, ask him to hide the ring so you can try to forget its there and do stuff for YOU. Perhaps plan a holiday with a close girlfriend or something if he can't get time off work.

I really hope hes not being a douche about it all and I hope that he does genuinely want to make this a memorable experience for you - deep down you know what sort of a man he is.. do you hoenstly really have doubt he will do it, or are you just super impatient? :)
xxx
 
Oy. Your frustration is totally understandable--my guy doesn't even have the ring yet (as far as I know), and I am so impatient!!! If I knew he had the ring I would want. it. nowwwww!

I moved in with my guy because he really wanted us to "test drive" living together before we took the plunge. I was originally resistant to living together before we were engaged because of a bad experience with my ex, but his reasoning was rational and it seemed like a good idea. Upon agreeing to move in with him, I told him I wanted to be engaged within six months. Lo-and-behold, no surprise--those six months have come and gone, no proposal. My gut feeling was that living together would stall the process, and it seems it has. I think that living together takes away a lot of that urgency to "make it official". My guy is three months past my ultimatum deadline, and if three more months pass with no proposal, I will be moving out.

Now, don't take this the wrong way--I'm trying to play devil's advocate here--but, do you think you may be putting too much focus on the ring and wedding? I looked at your prior posts and it looks like you have already planned a lot of the wedding in your head. Are you talking about the ring, dress, wedding plans? Could he possibly be put off by your obsession with these things? When it comes down to it, the ring and the wedding aren't what it's all about--your life together begins after the wedding. It shouldn't be like, "the wedding is over, what now..." I have seen this several times when a girl was obsessed with getting the ring, planning the wedding and after it's all over they feel lost and disconnected from the relationship. An aquaintance of mine is going through this, and had been seperated from her husband for several months (her wedding was last April!!)

Hopefully he is just waiting for the right time to surprise you, but in the meantime, try to be patient and stay away from talking to your guy about the proposal and wedding plans. Come here to vent!
 
Thanks for your advice.

I am well past the whole focusing on ring and wedding thing. I just want us to start out lives together. I love him dearly and there is nothing I want more than to be with him. To be honest I think the focusing was just another stage of me trying to get over the frustration (also doesn't help I work in the industry). The thing is I never talk about it anymore at all, he is the one that brings it up which is odd and difficult for me :confused:
 
I don't know how you're doing it! I would be dyyyyyingggggg!!! I'm so sorry he is putting you through this! If I could insert the picture of the ginger kitty hanging from a fence, it would be right here -->
In any case, it sounds like you really love him, so it will be worth the wait. And instead of "YES, YES, YES!!!" you can just say, "GAISHHHHH, FINE-UUHHH-LEEEEEEYYYY!!!"
Hang in there, kitten!
 
Ok so I am checking back in. Still struggling big time :(

I had had a tiny hope in the very very back of my mind that maybe Easter might maybe be a consideration for him but it has passed and nothing has happened obviously.

I am not sure how I am suppose to get through the next 5 months until the next possible opportunity :(

Suggestions?
 
sorry the engagement didn't happen hun *hugs*, hope you had a good Easter nonetheless.

I saw your comment on my thread that he had left the ring at home before you left, perhaps he wanted the proposal to be private and so didn't want to do it in front of your family? Here's hoping that you won't have to wait much longer. Have you thought of taking up a class of some sort after work? To keep you occupied and hopefully provide some minor distraction from waiting for the proposal?
 
Sorry to hear you were disappointed mif,

I was hoping he had left the ring box behind to throw you off. What I would suggest is coming up with different things to do together or alone. I recently signed the boyfriend and I up for a wine class. This way I have something non-engagement / ring related to look forward to. Concerts, plays, free local events. With the weather warming up there should be more and more local activities popping up.

It might also give him more opportunities to create a special moment too :).
 
Thanks ladies. I wasn't really disappointed but as much as I have a tiny hope at times, I have more of a this will never happen mentality.
I honestly feel at this point that he might just put it off for ages :( not sure what I will do about that. I almost feel like I will have to hold my tongue until say October and then I might need to have a chat with him about what's going on.

The problem is we can't do any activities together because of his job. He works 6-7 days a week and never wants to do anything when he has time off because he is so exhausted. Unfortunately there is no hope of a proposal between now and september because of his job as well. He would only do it on a holiday (because he has no weekends) so Easter was perfect and there isn't another break until september for us.

I wish we had things to look forward to but unfortunately many negatives are coming about as a result of his job at the moment not only the crazy schedule so I think I will just have to try and work out a way to get through it. Reading about all the other patient LIWs and their successes is a good distraction oh and shopping :-)

I guess I have waited over four months now, five to go (I hope) :(
 
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