Worth it to buy a piece of jewelry that you love but know you can’t/won’t wear super often?

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Haha well you’ve got my mind racing, but the problem is that my wish list is huge and there’s so many other things I want just as much and I probably can use more!! Besides, I can afford it, but it’s expensive enough that I would have to give up many other things.

dk168 said something that made me wonder… what if I got a costume jewelry version instead? My mind is definitely racing now, haha.

So for context - what I want is a temple jewelry belt. This is a style of traditional South Indian jewelry that was used to adorn deities. It is traditionally made of solid 22kt gold, in carved patterns, depicting motifs of nature and gods/goddesses. I myself am not from a community where these belts are frequently worn, and neither is my SO. So I won’t really have places to wear it more than 2-3 times a year (basically only on some festivals and perhaps weddings of my friends from those communities). On the other hand, since they’re gold, they don’t lose much, if any, value in resale or scrap (since labour cost is a fraction of the price of the piece). But it’s still a huge amount of money, and I could get like 7-8 pieces on my wish list for the price of this one belt.

I think I’ll have to go see what it looks like on me, and compare it to a costume piece. Also perhaps talk to my jeweler and see if there are options. It’s just helpful to see what others think as well so I posted here!

Posted a pic from the internet so you get what I’m lusting over (not this exact one, but in this style)

Wow !

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I personally wouldn't buy a piece of jewelry that I couldn't wear everyday. Why buy a piece of jewelry that will be sitting in the safety deposit box ?

That’s a fair point, though I already have some pieces I can’t wear everyday (I am an earrings fiend and I can’t wear several pairs of earrings everyday!). But I don’t really have any jewelry that I can’t wear reasonably often, like at least a few times a month. Thanks for weighing in!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

You could buy the coustume one to try it out - to see if you can justify buying the real one
i think life is too short
if you can afford it and it will make you happy buy it
perhaps you may only wear it a few times a year but maybe you will look at it every day and feel the joy

Thanks for weighing in Daisy! I do feel like the costume one (at least temporarily) is the only way I’m going to satisfactorily answer the question for myself; and then from there I can decide whether I want to invest in one; and how much money I want to invest, since I could basically go as heavy or light as I want (within reason) and find someone to make it for me.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

If i owned that golden belt id find ways to wear it around the house
belting up a dressing gown to lounge in while watching t.v. comes to mind

Sometimes we just need to buy things just for our selves

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

Thanks for weighing in Daisy! I do feel like the costume one (at least temporarily) is the only way I’m going to satisfactorily answer the question for myself; and then from there I can decide whether I want to invest in one; and how much money I want to invest, since I could basically go as heavy or light as I want (within reason) and find someone to make it for me.

We have to have many many pictutes !!!!
Multible outfits
Dress ups

sooo looking forward to this blingy fun !

 

[LLJsmom]

For me, I can’t. If it’s not in my regular rotation, it’s hard for me to keep. It annoys me that my money is not being put to use. If I had unlimited money, I may think differently. But everyone is different. You should do what is right for you.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

For me, I can’t. If it’s not in my regular rotation, it’s hard for me to keep. It annoys me that my money is not being put to use. If I had unlimited money, I may think differently. But everyone is different. You should do what is right for you.

I think that’s a fair point. It’s one of the biggest things holding me back. I think I’ve basically decided on doing a costume belt and trying it out for a year. If I still want the real deal, I will try and either find a less expensive/smaller belt I love and get it in a year or so; or if only a huge one will do, I will save up for a few more years!

 

[MissGotRocks]

That sounds like a wise decision. Gives you more time to think about it too without the great outlay of money.

I am not much on buying jewelry that i don’t wear on a regular basis but I can understand a few things that just bring joy to own even if they are not worn often. Those would be different to me than things that are bought only to be worn on special occasions - those special occasions can be few and far between while something beautiful languishes in a jewelry box or safe.

 

[RunningwithScissors]

That's the issue I had - wearing a costume version made me want to get the real thing even more!

I considered lab/MMDs and decided against them as the cost difference was minimal (not like for like in terms of clarity and colour).

DK

This happened to me too almost exactly.

I bought a CZ tennis bracelet to see how often I would wear it. Turns out I wear it almost daily which is more than I would have guessed, so it reinforced my desire to buy the real thing.

I sooo enjoy putting my cz bracelet on at dinner, it makes me feel "dressed" and pretty even if I'm wearing super casual clothes and need to wash my hair. I work from home most days, so blinging it up in the evenings keeps me happy.

 

[UrsTx]

A few years ago I wanted a VCA 20 motifs MOP Alhambra necklace but its pricetag would say to me, if you’re going to spend that much, you should buy another piece of diamond jewelry instead. I came across a local jewelry store who carried a similar necklace - at about 10% of VCA’s price. And it was just “different enough” that if I bought it, it wouldn’t look like I bought a knock off like on Canal Street/NYC.

So I bought it and then discovered I wear it only 3-4 times per year because it felt too dressy for my casual lifestyle. I’m happy with the inspiration necklace though and it cured my craving.

I also echo buying the costume jewelry version and testing it out. I do that with handbags too.

Keep us updated!

 

[yssie]

Yssie I’m so glad you replied because I think you’re in a prime position to help me!

if I remember correctly, you have a South Indian background, right? The piece I want to buy is an oddiyanam/vaddanam… but I’m not from the south.

So now you see my dilemma, it’s a gorgeous piece of jewelry, and I can afford it, but it’ll be at the expense of other pieces I would definitely use more.

So the way I see it, my options are:
- buy a costume version and relax (just a few hundred dollars)
- buy a silver / hollow / less decorative one for significantly less money (only worth it if I find a design I love) and continue to build a well rounded collection
- buy the real McCoy and spend a ton but forego some other pieces I also really want
- win the lottery (wish this could be plan A)

Do you think it’s worth buying a costume one for a few years to see if I reach for it enough / still want a real one? It’ll be a few hundred dollars wasted, but for piece of mind…

Yes!! I’m from the south -ish (Madras) So I know exactly what these are! I don’t have one - I don’t think anyone in my family does - but my mum somehow acquired a couple for my wedding...

I feel like the Right Thing To Do Here is so different for everyone! Once upon a time I wasn't sure whether or not I'd enjoy having a solitaire style engagement ring. I bought myself a fake to try out - and never wore it. One logical interpretation could have been that "I don't like solitaires", but in my case, I'm the sort of person who doesn't like anything that isn't the #realthing. So for me buying a costume piece would be a guaranteed waste of money - it'd neither scratch the itch nor tell me anything about whether or not I would use and enjoy the real deal.

My honest thoughts? What you want, it really IS wearable outside of with traditional Indian garb. As a statement piece, a signature piece. And more importantly, the gold content is the primary cost driver - labour is such a trivial part of the cost it might as well be negligible. So if this is a piece you've wanted for a long time, and you can afford it without hardship (sacrificing other luxury goods notwithstanding!)... Gold is coming back down, but history has proven that it will retain value over time. I don't think this would be an irresponsible purchase. There are other pieces that I wouldn't say that about.

And as for future pieces... I don't know what you do, but if you're in a field wherein your best earning years are still ahead of you then it's very possible that the things you need to scrimp and save for right now will be whim purchases for you in a few years. So I wouldn't worry too much about booting other things off the wishlist forever

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

That sounds like a wise decision. Gives you more time to think about it too without the great outlay of money.

I am not much on buying jewelry that i don’t wear on a regular basis but I can understand a few things that just bring joy to own even if they are not worn often. Those would be different to me than things that are bought only to be worn on special occasions - those special occasions can be few and far between while something beautiful languishes in a jewelry box or safe.

I keep feeling like this is a piece that would be relegated to special occasions, which makes me pause, but also not every special occasion (I don’t think I would wear it for all my occasions. I love it, but not that much)! Glad to see the costume idea is resonating with people

A few years ago I wanted a VCA 20 motifs MOP Alhambra necklace but its pricetag would say to me, if you’re going to spend that much, you should buy another piece of diamond jewelry instead. I came across a local jewelry store who carried a similar necklace - at about 10% of VCA’s price. And it was just “different enough” that if I bought it, it wouldn’t look like I bought a knock off like on Canal Street/NYC.

So I bought it and then discovered I wear it only 3-4 times per year because it felt too dressy for my casual lifestyle. I’m happy with the inspiration necklace though and it cured my craving.

I also echo buying the costume jewelry version and testing it out. I do that with handbags too.

Keep us updated!

I really hope the costume belt cures my craving - that would be the best case scenario for me!! I don’t feel weird about wearing costume pieces so I know I would reach for it with the same frequency I would reach for something in actual gold. Also, if the costume one turns out to be less realistic looking that I would like long term, I could reevaluate at that point - buying a much less expensive version for example. Thanks for weighing in!!

Yes!! I’m from the south -ish (Madras) So I know exactly what these are! I don’t have one - I don’t think anyone in my family does - but my mum somehow acquired a couple for my wedding...

I feel like the Right Thing To Do Here is so different for everyone! Once upon a time I wasn't sure whether or not I'd enjoy having a solitaire style engagement ring. I bought myself a fake to try out - and never wore it. One logical interpretation could have been that "I don't like solitaires", but in my case, I'm the sort of person who doesn't like anything that isn't the #realthing. So for me buying a costume piece would be a guaranteed waste of money - it'd neither scratch the itch nor tell me anything about whether or not I would use and enjoy the real deal.

My honest thoughts? What you want, it really IS wearable outside of with traditional Indian garb. As a statement piece, a signature piece. And more importantly, the gold content is the primary cost driver - labour is such a trivial part of the cost it might as well be negligible. So if this is a piece you've wanted for a long time, and you can afford it without hardship (sacrificing other luxury goods notwithstanding!)... Gold is coming back down, but history has proven that it will retain value over time. I don't think this would be an irresponsible purchase. There are other pieces that I wouldn't say that about.

And as for future pieces... I don't know what you do, but if you're in a field wherein your best earning years are still ahead of you then it's very possible that the things you need to scrimp and save for right now will be whim purchases for you in a few years. So I wouldn't worry too much about booting other things off the wishlist forever

Thank you so much for your long and thoughtful post yssie! I also want to buy a huge rani haar that I could wear on my wedding day, so I think I’ll do that first since hopefully the wedding will be in the next couple years! I definitely couldn’t swing the belt and the haar in the same span of 2 years, so maybe the haar will take priority while the belt waits a little longer. I don’t have issues with reaching for costume jewelry so I know I’d be reaching for a costume belt with the same frequency as I would reach for the #realdeal. My thought process is that if I buy the costume belt now, and test it out for at least one year, I’ll know pretty quickly if I want the real thing. I can at that point always choose when I want the thing. The resale value aspect is warring against the wearability aspect, haha; because I’m not sure I would turn it into my signature piece versus another special occasion piece.

Also, you make a great point about future earning potential. I try not to account for that in my thought process so that I remain both humble and don’t spend beyond my means; but I am still young and hopefully my earning potential will only go up from here! Thank you so much for your thoughts

 

[dk168]

A strand of blue round Tahitians is on my bling wish list, probably right at the top.

I don't wear the strands of pearls I already have, and kept asking myself why I should spend thousands on yet another strand of pearls that might only been worn very occasionally.

I don't have an answer except I love blues and want to have a nice strand of blues to myself.

Looking at purchasing this in person in 2023/4.

DK

 

[yssie]

I keep feeling like this is a piece that would be relegated to special occasions, which makes me pause, but also not every special occasion (I don’t think I would wear it for all my occasions. I love it, but not that much)! Glad to see the costume idea is resonating with people



I really hope the costume belt cures my craving - that would be the best case scenario for me!! I don’t feel weird about wearing costume pieces so I know I would reach for it with the same frequency I would reach for something in actual gold. Also, if the costume one turns out to be less realistic looking that I would like long term, I could reevaluate at that point - buying a much less expensive version for example. Thanks for weighing in!!



Thank you so much for your long and thoughtful post yssie! I also want to buy a huge rani haar that I could wear on my wedding day, so I think I’ll do that first since hopefully the wedding will be in the next couple years! I definitely couldn’t swing the belt and the haar in the same span of 2 years, so maybe the haar will take priority while the belt waits a little longer. I don’t have issues with reaching for costume jewelry so I know I’d be reaching for a costume belt with the same frequency as I would reach for the #realdeal. My thought process is that if I buy the costume belt now, and test it out for at least one year, I’ll know pretty quickly if I want the real thing. I can at that point always choose when I want the thing. The resale value aspect is warring against the wearability aspect, haha; because I’m not sure I would turn it into my signature piece versus another special occasion piece.

Also, you make a great point about future earning potential. I try not to account for that in my thought process so that I remain both humble and don’t spend beyond my means; but I am still young and hopefully my earning potential will only go up from here! Thank you so much for your thoughts

You know yourself! If you know that a trial with a costume version will give you a good idea of how much you’d reach for it then that’s a fantastic way to decide!

Both the rani haar and the belt - together they’re a lot, I couldn’t see wearing them together outside of for a wedding. One of the other could be a statement piece with a Western outfit, though! I feel like the belt might be more versatile?

Please share when you get the tester piece!

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

Just another thing to consider - will you be paying for part of your own wedding? If so, has that been accounted for in your budget? Just something to consider!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

You know yourself! If you know that a trial with a costume version will give you a good idea of how much you’d reach for it then that’s a fantastic way to decide!

Both the rani haar and the belt - together they’re a lot, I couldn’t see wearing them together outside of for a wedding. One of the other could be a statement piece with a Western outfit, though! I feel like the belt might be more versatile?

Please share when you get the tester piece!

So the rani haar would be a more jadau/polki type - more northie style - while the belt is typical south. So I’d never wear them together anyway. I feel like I would reach for the rani haar much more than the belt because it’s just more “appropriate” for most of the events I go to. I do agree on never wearing them together though even at a wedding because of the stylistic clash!

Tester piece will wait when I’m back in India. It’s looking more and more likely that my next visit back (or 1-2 visits after that) will probably be for good, so I’ll have lots more events to try it out, haha.

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

Just another thing to consider - will you be paying for part of your own wedding? If so, has that been accounted for in your budget? Just something to consider!

My parents (and his) would pay for 99% of the wedding. But I would like to give myself a gift to mark that special occasion in my life, besides I don’t want to exceed my parents’ budget, so one piece of jewelry I wear on my wedding will be something I give myself. I have my heart set on that being a rani haar (literally: queen necklace, a statement long necklace) so that’s why I have hesitated on the belt for so long because at the moment I can’t afford both the belt and the necklace, at least not for quite a few years anyway. I go back and forth on what I love more, but I do feel like from the POV of wearing it at my wedding and saving my parents quite a bit of money it makes sense to do the necklace first.

 

[yssie]

So the rani haar would be a more jadau/polki type - more northie style - while the belt is typical south. So I’d never wear them together anyway. I feel like I would reach for the rani haar much more than the belt because it’s just more “appropriate” for most of the events I go to. I do agree on never wearing them together though even at a wedding because of the stylistic clash!

Tester piece will wait when I’m back in India. It’s looking more and more likely that my next visit back (or 1-2 visits after that) will probably be for good, so I’ll have lots more events to try it out, haha.

100% to waiting until you’re back in India - no point paying extra! I can’t wait for your photosphere everything you try on

Do you go back often? Growing up my parents would squirrel their vacation away and we’d take month-long family trips to India once every two years. We actually didn’t see much of any of the myriad countries we lived in because if it couldn’t be done Friday evening through Sunday afternoon it wasn’t happening! I haven’t been back there for over five years now though - work gets in the way, and to be honest more and more of my family is coming here to the US anyway...

I went through the typical English/American teenage counterculture phase but as an adult I’m appreciating my parents’ culture (I can’t even call it mine, I’ve never actually lived in India!) more and more. I’m trying to think of events I go to wherein an elaborate statement neck/chest piece like that would fit in. Not too many to be honest - outside of the occasional pooja! I really need a more bling-appropriate life

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

100% to waiting until you’re back in India - no point paying extra! I can’t wait for your photosphere everything you try on

Do you go back often? Growing up my parents would squirrel their vacation away and we’d take month-long family trips to India once every two years. We actually didn’t see much of any of the myriad countries we lived in because if it couldn’t be done Friday evening through Sunday afternoon it wasn’t happening! I haven’t been back there for over five years now though - work gets in the way, and to be honest more and more of my family is coming here to the US anyway...

I went through the typical English/American teenage counterculture phase but as an adult I’m appreciating my parents’ culture (I can’t even call it mine, I’ve never actually lived in India!) more and more. I’m trying to think of events I go to wherein an elaborate statement neck/chest piece like that would fit in. Not too many to be honest - outside of the occasional pooja! I really need a more bling-appropriate life

I’m actually from India! I moved away a bit less than a decade ago but now more and more I’m contemplating moving back (my SO really wants to and my family etc are here).

I used to go back every year at least once and/or my family would come visit and we would go on holiday together. So India is home to me in a way no other place in the world can be

Luckily my life in India can be fairly fancy whenever I go back, so I get a chance to wear all my bling!!

 

[yssie]

Good luck with the decision!!

We moved around so much when I was growing up, the few times we stayed in the same place long enough for me to spend over a year at the same school I remember being over the moon - so I never really had a place I thought of as “home”. Once my parents got to America they stayed, and I’ve been here since uni - and now that I do have home there’s nothing in the world that can compare or keep me away for more than a couple of weeks so I totally get that feeling

Sorry for detailing the thread!!

 

[Sparklemore]

I think that’s a fair point. It’s one of the biggest things holding me back. I think I’ve basically decided on doing a costume belt and trying it out for a year. If I still want the real deal, I will try and either find a less expensive/smaller belt I love and get it in a year or so; or if only a huge one will do, I will save up for a few more years!

Good plan!

 

[Mary Queen of Scotch]

I confess I haven’t read this entire thread, so apologies if this has already been answered — does the belt have important religious/cultural significance? Any concern that it could it be offensive to South Indians if you wore it outside of those handful of festivals/weddings?

I only ask because I think it would look AMAZING with leather pants. Just, like, around town. On a Tuesday.

 

[LilAlex]

I recently had a lovely ring made. With COVID, I slather my hands with sanitizer between 10 and 100 times a day -- depending on the day. And some of it is the real gunky stuff -- not the disappearing Purell kind. Just can't wear a ring with that. So I carry my ring in my pocket and look at it from time to time.

First "fancy" ring I got my spouse for a milestone b'day was old, lovely, and not very wearable. She would never wear it but we both loved looking at it and she would not let me return it -- it was just too pretty. It's mostly in a safe-deposit box now but it gets a few outings. She used to joke that she wished we could just put it out somewhere in a case with a light on it . (Note: we do not have that kind of house!)

If you would miss the money, this is not a valid approach, imo. If you won't miss the money, who cares how much you wear it?

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I confess I haven’t read this entire thread, so apologies if this has already been answered — does the belt have important religious/cultural significance? Any concern that it could it be offensive to South Indians if you wore it outside of those handful of festivals/weddings?

I only ask because I think it would look AMAZING with leather pants. Just, like, around town. On a Tuesday.

I think someone with South Indian heritage may be more qualified to answer this question, but I don’t think so. There are some pieces of jewelry that have certain significance (like mangalsutra/thaali is a sign of a married woman, like an e-ring in western cultures), but I don’t think the belt has one. I mean, the general subcategory of temple jewelry used to, since it contains imagery of deities, but North Indians worship the same gods and wear it too, just not as prevalent. Also, I wouldn’t look askance at someone who is not Hindu wearing temple jewelry, personally, so I guess the belt should be ok to be worn? I have a pair of temple jewelry earrings that I wear casually all the time!

 

[AllAboardTheBlingTrain]

I recently had a lovely ring made. With COVID, I slather my hands with sanitizer between 10 and 100 times a day -- depending on the day. And some of it is the real gunky stuff -- not the disappearing Purell kind. Just can't wear a ring with that. So I carry my ring in my pocket and look at it from time to time.

First "fancy" ring I got my spouse for a milestone b'day was old, lovely, and not very wearable. She would never wear it but we both loved looking at it and she would not let me return it -- it was just too pretty. It's mostly in a safe-deposit box now but it gets a few outings. She used to joke that she wished we could just put it out somewhere in a case with a light on it . (Note: we do not have that kind of house!)

If you would miss the money, this is not a valid approach, imo. If you won't miss the money, who cares how much you wear it?

Thanks for replying! I think in my case I would currently definitely miss the money in as far as the rest of my bling is concerned. Yssie pointed out that it most probably wouldn’t be a case of giving up other items forever, but at the same time I do wonder if I’m at the phase of my life where I spend a lot of money on non wearable things when I have a lot of wearable things left to buy, if that makes any sense. That’s why I want to figure out just how much (or little) I’ll wear the belt before I buy it!