WWYD? Feral cats and relocating

[missy]

A beautiful house (ugly on the outside but we don't care about that and likely we can do something to improve the outside appearance) has come up for sale. On a block with three of our friends in an adjacent neighborhood. It is more practical for us as it is larger with more storage space.

Three car garage for Greg and his woodworking and an indoor pool and sauna for me. I mean inside it's my dream home. And the view is exactly the same. Water view with beach.

Big dilemma
Our feral cats
This house is slightly under a mile from our current house
But we have 9 feral cats we feed and care for who unlikely can be relocated.


Very very challenging with ferals.
Plus across the street from our current house is a house where they go under the foundation to protect themselves from storms
This new house does not have that situation.

We have other issues. We would have to sell both of our homes to be able to comfortably afford this one.
And the taxes are not cheap but our current combined monthly expenses for NYC and NJ homes is still more so if we sold the two we currently have it is very doable

Main issues are our feral cats. They rely on us.

I was so excited until I remembered the cats. Who only have us. No one will take care of them the way we do. I feed them wet all day long and dry is always out. Fresh water all day long. We have three separate feeding stations and shelters all over our property. They are all neutered and they rely on us completely.

My head wants this house but my heart says it's impossble. The cats are living beings who deserve safety food and all we can do for them. Which is not enough but we do the best we can

Just wondering if anyone here has ever dealt with or has any experience with a similar situation?

Thanks

 

[missy]

To be clearer. We won’t leave the cats to fend for themselves. Just trying to see if we can relocate them. I know it’s very difficult to relocate ferals but I know it’s not completely impossible. If anyone has experience to share I’d love to hear about it. Thanks!

 

[dk168]

My initial thoughts would be to try and trap them and bring them to your new house and location.

Whether that is doable or not I do not know, sorry.

They won't like it, however, they might get used to it if they know you would be there to continue to look after them, etc...

DK

 

[missy]

Decided against moving. No truly safe way to relocate our feral cats. They’re more important to us than the house

 

[tyty333]

You are such a dedicated cat mom Missy!

 

[missy]

You are such a dedicated cat mom Missy!

Aww thanks. I won’t lie. This was an amazing house. Indoor pool and sauna and steam shower and hot tub with an awesome view. Three car garage (we don’t have a garage at all). So much storage and everything built with quality. Sound proof rooms and doors. And so much more.

But living beings come over material things.
I’m at peace with the decision (but yeah I am a little sad).

 

[kenny]

missy, this must be gut wrenching!

Kudos for putting heart B4 head.

 

[missy]

missy, this must be gut wrenching!

Kudos for putting heart B4 head.

Thanks Kenny. I love the ferals so much more than any materialistic thing so in the end the decision was clear

 

[kenny]

A little sumptin sumptin to cheer missy up ...

Find the cat ...

 

[Rebel Rebel]

From your pictures, you have a beautiful home with beautiful views.

I have an outdoor fiberglass pool. They come in many small sizes that you might be able to fit somewhere. The maintanence is almost effortless.

 

[finerthings]

Boy, tough decision. I think I would try to trap them and bring them to the new house too just like @dk168 suggested. I would think about your happiness and Greg's as you age, and try to work a solution for the ferals. Is this home better for you guys in the long run? Things like hobbies, garages, pool to exercise in when the weather is cold outside, and more space are very important too. Being closer to friends is another thing to consider as you age. They would be there to help you in a pinch should you need it. With Greg wanting to retire he would have the garages to tinker in and maybe even build the ferals a special "home" when the weather is rough. You know that I admire your love and dedication to the ferals and your own inside kitties @missy, you are beyond wonderful, but you have a life too. There must be a way to include the ferals in that picture?? I say this with love and respect.

 

[missy]

Boy, tough decision. I think I would try to trap them and bring them to the new house too just like @dk168 suggested. I would think about your happiness and Greg's as you age, and try to work a solution for the ferals. Is this home better for you guys in the long run? Things like hobbies, garages, pool to exercise in when the weather is cold outside, and more space are very important too. Being closer to friends is another thing to consider as you age. They would be there to help you in a pinch should you need it. With Greg wanting to retire he would have the garages to tinker in and maybe even build the ferals a special "home" when the weather is rough. You know that I admire your love and dedication to the ferals and your own inside kitties @missy, you are beyond wonderful, but you have a life too. There must be a way to include the ferals in that picture?? I say this with love and respect.

Thanks so much finerthings. I appreciate your input. I gave this a lot of thought and ultimately there’s very little chance we can successfully relocate the ferals.

I spoke with feral experts who all agreed. It’s very unlikely to work for them. And I know they’d die if we left. Either through starvation or by human hands. Many people don’t want cats on their property and it’s now the cats property.

Yes I 100% agree with you - we need a life and this house for sale is better for us in many ways.

But our house while not perfect is good enough.


I am prioritizing the cats over us but they have no voice and they are so vulnerable. I feel it’s a worthwhile sacrifice.

And Greg is onboard. We’re a team and we both agree with this decision. He does have a place where he enjoys his woodworking hobby and his many other passions. Not ideal but good enough.

We spoke about what we can do to improve our house and he agreed we can insulate our huge attic and make it into usable space which will go a long way for my needs here.

Ultimately I feel we had no other choice.
Thank you for caring. I so appreciate that

 

[missy]

From your pictures, you have a beautiful home with beautiful views.

I have an outdoor fiberglass pool. They come in many small sizes that you might be able to fit somewhere. The maintanence is almost effortless.

Thank you Rebel. The pool you have sounds lovely. It’s funny because I always wanted an indoor pool. Glad you are enjoying it. I’ll look into it thank you

 

[missy]

A little sumptin sumptin to cheer missy up ...

Find the cat ...

Hahaha that looks like our Jasper

 

[Rebel Rebel]

I can help with fiberglass pool options (not in the business). My pool came on a truck from Florida and was installed in 2000! I'm the cabana girl here, more than happy to share advice.

 

[empliau]

Since you would have had to sell the NY city place to buy the new place, if you sold the place in the city could you build the pool, sauna, and woodworking studio at your present home?

 

[missy]

I can help with fiberglass pool options (not in the business). My pool came on a truck from Florida and was installed in 2000! I'm the cabana girl here, more than happy to share advice.

Thank you! I might take you up on that

Since you would have had to sell the NY city place to buy the new place, if you sold the place in the city could you build the pool, sauna, and woodworking studio at your present home?

Thanks for your suggestions.
We don’t have the space here unfortunately.

My dh had the basement dug out to make it more suitable for his woodworking hobby when we moved here in 2011.

We’re thinking about building a sauna in our attic which is approximately 1000 square feet once we insulate it more thoroughly.
I can’t put a pool in the attic though because of the weight. I am considering selling New York no matter what now. It’s a huge money drain and we have not lived there for years. I wanted to hold onto it but I’m not sure I ever want to go back now so seriously thinking of selling it.

 

[empliau]

Thank you! I might take you up on that




We don’t have the space here unfortunately.

My dh had the basement dug out to make it more suitable for his woodworking hobby when we moved here in 2011.

We’re thinking about building a sauna in our attic which is approximately 1000 square feet once we insulate it more thoroughly.
I can’t put a pool in the attic though because of the weight. I am considering selling New York no matter what now. It’s a huge money drain and we have not lived there for years. I wanted to hold onto it but I’m not sure I ever want to go back now so seriously thinking of selling it.

Oof. I completely sympathize with prioritizing your furry family - I just hoped there was a way to have it all. Well, you will have the sauna - is there room for one of those pools that uses a current to swim against? I've read about lap pools -they come small, I think. Or maybe a jacuzzi for water workouts.

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

I think you knew the answer from the outset. No furry sacrifice for amenities. Perhaps, one thing has become "more" clear is that you folks might "ready" to release your Brooklyn home. Hence, if in the future, something desirable comes available closer to your where ya'll live/feral family, then you can move on.

But of course you'd have to move and sell huge city space with all your belongings in it. Sorry, did I say that out loud? Daunting.

xoxo Sharon

 

[kenny]

Consider ...
Nobody can save all the feral cats, everywhere.
Where you move to could also have feral cats that need your compassion, especially for spay and neuter.

I'm sure all the ferals you care for now didn't appear the day you moved into your current house.

Ferals you don't know yet would benefit from care too.
You're not caring for them now if you don't move.

IMO stopping the reproduction cycle is the most important, kind, and effective thing we can give to ferals.
A fixed feral may not have the best life when subsequently uncared for by a human, but at least that's just one cat, instead of the zillions that would have eventually been uncared for if you didn't fix that first one.

... Just sayin.

 

[jeaniefish]

Thanks Kenny. I love the ferals so much more than any materialistic thing so in the end the decision was clear

Missy,
My husband and I are waiting to relocate closer to our only daughter and SIL when our last feral ( sort of semi feral now) passes on. We are down from 5 outdoor kitties to just 1 now. It’s a hard decision to make but , personally, it would have taken away the happiness of our move if we had left her behind. Our friend and neighbor would have tried to care for this last cat , but not sure she ( the cat ) would have accepted the change at her age of approx. 13 years. I’m guessing that you would have been dealing so much guilt (if the ferals couldn’t go with you) that it would have outweighed the joys of moving to the new home.

 

[Daisys and Diamonds]

MIssy you are doing the right thing, my aviata pix is Tibby, he was abandoned twice before we realized and adopted him
i dont know how they could do that to him

 

[dnfd]

Thanks so much finerthings. I appreciate your input. I gave this a lot of thought and ultimately there’s very little chance we can successfully relocate the ferals.

I spoke with feral experts who all agreed. It’s very unlikely to work for them. And I know they’d die if we left. Either through starvation or by human hands. Many people don’t want cats on their property and it’s now the cats property.

Yes I 100% agree with you - we need a life and this house for sale is better for us in many ways.

But our house while not perfect is good enough.


I am prioritizing the cats over us but they have no voice and they are so vulnerable. I feel it’s a worthwhile sacrifice.

And Greg is onboard. We’re a team and we both agree with this decision. He does have a place where he enjoys his woodworking hobby and his many other passions. Not ideal but good enough.

We spoke about what we can do to improve our house and he agreed we can insulate our huge attic and make it into usable space which will go a long way for my needs here.

Ultimately I feel we had no other choice.
Thank you for caring. I so appreciate that

You and your husband are true heroes. May your little colony give you many years of joy and love. Reading your post has made my heart happy. Thank you for the amazing work you do!

 

[missy]

Consider ...
Nobody can save all the feral cats, everywhere.
Where you move to could also have feral cats that need your compassion, especially for spay and neuter.

I'm sure all the ferals you care for now didn't appear the day you moved into your current house.

Ferals you don't know yet would benefit from care too.
You're not caring for them now if you don't move.

IMO stopping the reproduction cycle is the most important, kind, and effective thing we can give to ferals.
A fixed feral may not have the best life when subsequently uncared for by a human, but at least that's just one cat, instead of the zillions that would have eventually been uncared for if you didn't fix that first one.

... Just sayin.

100% yes. Neuetering them all is critical. We have been doing TNR since we moved here in 2011. We trap and neuter and then re-release to our property. The thing is, these ferals, are our babies too. Every bit as much as our indoor kitties in a way. Because the only difference is, they didn't get lucky and they were born to cats outside and were unable to become domesticated. Truly feral but not truly capable of caring for themselves. Ferals without human help, die within 2-3 years generally. While some of our ferals are over 10 years old. I get what you are saying in that yes there are always going to be cats needing our help. 100%. But these cats are part o our family. Albeit not a warm and cuddly part but part nonetheless.

Missy,
My husband and I are waiting to relocate closer to our only daughter and SIL when our last feral ( sort of semi feral now) passes on. We are down from 5 outdoor kitties to just 1 now. It’s a hard decision to make but , personally, it would have taken away the happiness of our move if we had left her behind. Our friend and neighbor would have tried to care for this last cat , but not sure she ( the cat ) would have accepted the change at her age of approx. 13 years. I’m guessing that you would have been dealing so much guilt (if the ferals couldn’t go with you) that it would have outweighed the joys of moving to the new home.

Thanks for sharing this Jeanie. And THANK YOU for doing this for your cats. You and your DH are treasures. And you are so right. I am sad about losing the house. Last night the realtor called us and she said there were two offers over ask but she found out that what we were going to offer would have beat the other two offers. However I had to tell her why we weren't going to make that offer we previously discussed. She was very sweet but said so you are never going to move? And I said unless there becomes a clear way to take them with us to wherever that would be...no. I am sad but you are right. Any joy living in the new house would be destroyed knowing we had to leave our feral cats.

You and your husband are true heroes. May your little colony give you many years of joy and love. Reading your post has made my heart happy. Thank you for the amazing work you do!

Aww no we are not. We are just ordinary humans who love animals and cannot sacrifice their lives just so we could have a better home. I appreciate your kind comments,,,thank you

MIssy you are doing the right thing, my aviata pix is Tibby, he was abandoned twice before we realized and adopted him
i dont know how they could do that to him

Thank you Nicky! Hugs to Tibby. A very lucky kitty indeed.

 

[missy]

HI:

I think you knew the answer from the outset. No furry sacrifice for amenities. Perhaps, one thing has become "more" clear is that you folks might "ready" to release your Brooklyn home. Hence, if in the future, something desirable comes available closer to your where ya'll live/feral family, then you can move on.

But of course you'd have to move and sell huge city space with all your belongings in it. Sorry, did I say that out loud? Daunting.

xoxo Sharon

Yes I think it is time. Probably will wait for winter to fix it up and sell. I have lived in that neighborhood since 1992 and that specific building since 1995. It's not going to be easy to sell because once we do we can never afford a place like this again if we ever want to move back. The prices are insane. But then again our monthly maintenance is ludicrous and more than double our taxes (which are not cheap) here. It will be bittersweet. But I think it is time. It's a huge money drain and I was holding onto it for security only. Greg understood why so never pressed me to sell. I wish we had a crystal ball yanno? Thanks Sharon, as always I appreciate your input. And you are right..I think in my heart I knew all along this was an impossible dream

Oof. I completely sympathize with prioritizing your furry family - I just hoped there was a way to have it all. Well, you will have the sauna - is there room for one of those pools that uses a current to swim against? I've read about lap pools -they come small, I think. Or maybe a jacuzzi for water workouts.

Aww thanks. Yes I wish there was a way to have it all. The pool the new house has is a current pool. But a great size. I do think there is anywhere we can put even a small pool in our house. Just the completely open layout downstairs makes it impossible IMO. It's OK. The sacrifice is a small price to pay and maybe one day we can figure it out. But this house that was up for sale was truly one of a kind custom built and for the square footage incredible price which is why it went for over ask. By the time we figure it out (if we ever do) we probably wont be able to afford anything like this again. But I am a big believer in what is meant to be. And in my heart and mind this was just not meant to be