anchor31
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 18, 2005
- Messages
- 7,074
I spent the day with my mother today, and while we were getting ice cream (Laura Secord
), we talked about it. Apparently my father told E after the fight that once she has stated her opinion and issued her "warning", her job is done and she should let it go. I hope she understands that, my brother and I would be much happier for it! Her badgering us about her pessimistic views on our relationship doesn''t help us any. When we got home, we each wrote a letter to E, read them out loud and got out the anger and pain we feel, and then I tore up my letter; mom decided to keep hers. We figure that even if that doesn''t really help E, at least it helps us get rid of the toxic emotions that we have.
Indie - Don''t worry about me while your wedding day is so near! Thanks for the kind words, and enjoy your day!
Galateia - It feels great to hear that, I really appreciate it.
Kit - Thank you for taking the time to write. I believe she is depressed and that she needs help. I mentioned it to my mother today, and I intend to find a way to talk about this to my sister so she gets help. Family therapy could be a great idea, thanks for suggesting it. I also agree that while she thinks she does, she doesn''t "get" the relationships my brother and I have with our SOs. And as you say, nothing can change that until she has a relationship of her own. About her grief on losing a role in my life... I tried to explain to her that she is not losing me. I''m not sure she really sees it that way, or wants to see it that way... She just keeps saying she feels it''s her duty to make sure I''m aware of the possibilities. Finally, just like you, I do try to understand the reason behind people''s hurtful behaviour. I find it helps me to be more understanding and less resentful. I know why she does it, and I understand parts of it. I just don''t know how to fix it. Thanks again.
Ebree - Thanks for the hugs and friendly reminder.
jas - I would never wish that kind of thing to anyone, but it is nice to know that someone understands. Thank you, and good luck with your own sister.
fire&ice - Agreeing to disagree is something E unfortunately has a lot of difficulties with. She''s a "my way or no way" kind of person, you know? I really hope that at some point we could reach that kind of agreement.
bee - Thank you. I really wish she could find a great guy too, so she finally understands what it''s like.
Mara - Thank you for your wise words. I think that letting things go for a little while is the best thing to do right now. Hopefully we can resolve this at some point.
ladykemma - You may be right. It''s getting pretty obvious that those discussions about relationships are not exactly a good idea because she can''t agree to disagree.
dixie - Deciding what I''m willing to accept from her is not something I had considered. Thank you for the idea. I did treat myself a bit today with my mom... We went for ice cream and I got a new purse. Nothing fancy or expensive, but I''m still happy about it!
aljdewey - Thank you SO much for the big hugs. I could almost feel them. Thank you for sharing your story as well. I really hope my sister''s story will have a happier ending...
Finding_Neverland - Twins are something, aren''t they? You and my mother would probably have a lot of things to talk about! E and I are just like your girls. We are opposites in everything, heck we even have opposite dominant hands! But it''s true, nobody will ever be as close to me than her, and we have a bond that I will never have with anyone else, not even my husband. I truly hope she will come around.
Again, thank you everyone.
Indie - Don''t worry about me while your wedding day is so near! Thanks for the kind words, and enjoy your day!
Galateia - It feels great to hear that, I really appreciate it.
Kit - Thank you for taking the time to write. I believe she is depressed and that she needs help. I mentioned it to my mother today, and I intend to find a way to talk about this to my sister so she gets help. Family therapy could be a great idea, thanks for suggesting it. I also agree that while she thinks she does, she doesn''t "get" the relationships my brother and I have with our SOs. And as you say, nothing can change that until she has a relationship of her own. About her grief on losing a role in my life... I tried to explain to her that she is not losing me. I''m not sure she really sees it that way, or wants to see it that way... She just keeps saying she feels it''s her duty to make sure I''m aware of the possibilities. Finally, just like you, I do try to understand the reason behind people''s hurtful behaviour. I find it helps me to be more understanding and less resentful. I know why she does it, and I understand parts of it. I just don''t know how to fix it. Thanks again.
Ebree - Thanks for the hugs and friendly reminder.
jas - I would never wish that kind of thing to anyone, but it is nice to know that someone understands. Thank you, and good luck with your own sister.
fire&ice - Agreeing to disagree is something E unfortunately has a lot of difficulties with. She''s a "my way or no way" kind of person, you know? I really hope that at some point we could reach that kind of agreement.
bee - Thank you. I really wish she could find a great guy too, so she finally understands what it''s like.
Mara - Thank you for your wise words. I think that letting things go for a little while is the best thing to do right now. Hopefully we can resolve this at some point.
ladykemma - You may be right. It''s getting pretty obvious that those discussions about relationships are not exactly a good idea because she can''t agree to disagree.
dixie - Deciding what I''m willing to accept from her is not something I had considered. Thank you for the idea. I did treat myself a bit today with my mom... We went for ice cream and I got a new purse. Nothing fancy or expensive, but I''m still happy about it!
aljdewey - Thank you SO much for the big hugs. I could almost feel them. Thank you for sharing your story as well. I really hope my sister''s story will have a happier ending...
Finding_Neverland - Twins are something, aren''t they? You and my mother would probably have a lot of things to talk about! E and I are just like your girls. We are opposites in everything, heck we even have opposite dominant hands! But it''s true, nobody will ever be as close to me than her, and we have a bond that I will never have with anyone else, not even my husband. I truly hope she will come around.
Again, thank you everyone.
300x240.png)