You MUST be joking...how do I handle this one?!

[FrekeChild]

My dad can't spell worth a $#!+. But like Ltl, he's learned to deal with it. Through his job he's an attorney, he uses a Dictaphone (or whatever it is) and dictates to his secretary what it is he wants. He writes illegibly, so that's not really a problem, but he has most certainly learned to compensate for it. Sometimes he'll get really introspective and say something like, "You know, I wish I had learned to spell when I was younger." And he often says this after asking me how to spell something. It actually hits a soft spot in my heart because he is so humble about it--and he is an otherwise intimidating and powerful attorney. But he asks for help when he needs it, because he knows this is a huge fault, and could be a potentially huge problem for him if he sent something out with horrid spelling on it. This is another reason he doesn't email himself either (well, that and he can't type worth a crap.)

The one error he made that I remember the best is definitely "munkee" that I corrected around age 7...at least it was phonetically right on, right?

But that doesn't sound like what's going on here. It does sound like she's just lazy and isn't working to compensate. But it takes a lot of humility to ask for help...

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 9/24/2009 2:00:25 PM
Author:sunnyd
I''ve made comments about my MOH here. Basically, she gave herself the job and I have no spine so I didn''t say no.

She''s made everything difficult and about her since day one but this takes the friggin cake.

Well, she wanted to handle the bachelorette party. I gave her a list of names and addresses for her to send out invites, which she did this week. She is a terrible speller (seriously, kindergartners spell better) so I told her to make SURE she proofs the invites before sending them out. She called me a brat and said she only used words she could spell. I left it alone, knowing that some things would be misspelled.

That makes us all look stupid. I need to tell her that I''m pissed off. How can I do so without ripping her head off?!

I understand that you''re upset -- with good reason -- but I really think you share some of the blame here.

You allowed your friend to "give herself the job." Uh... no. The job is yours to give, she couldn''t have assumed it unless you let her. Then, you delegated this task to her (or allowed her to coerce you into letting her handle it... same difference) even though you knew that she would not be able to do it well. So my suggestion for fixing this is: send out a clarifying email that''s lighthearted and doesn''t hint at blame in any way, ask one of the other maids to help the MOH plan the bachelorette, and let this whole incident go. Forgive her

for insisting on doing things she''s not capable of (whatever the reason), and forgive yourself

for allowing her to bully you into it.

And be more careful with assigning responsibilities from here on out.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 9/25/2009 3:22:25 AM
Author: VRBeauty

Date: 9/24/2009 2:00:25 PM
Author:sunnyd
I've made comments about my MOH here. Basically, she gave herself the job and I have no spine so I didn't say no.

She's made everything difficult and about her since day one but this takes the friggin cake.

Well, she wanted to handle the bachelorette party. I gave her a list of names and addresses for her to send out invites, which she did this week. She is a terrible speller (seriously, kindergartners spell better) so I told her to make SURE she proofs the invites before sending them out. She called me a brat and said she only used words she could spell. I left it alone, knowing that some things would be misspelled.

That makes us all look stupid. I need to tell her that I'm pissed off. How can I do so without ripping her head off?!

I understand that you're upset -- with good reason -- but I really think you share some of the blame here.

You allowed your friend to 'give herself the job.' Uh... no. The job is yours to give, she couldn't have assumed it unless you let her. Then, you delegated this task to her (or allowed her to coerce you into letting her handle it... same difference) even though you knew that she would not be able to do it well. So my suggestion for fixing this is: send out a clarifying email that's lighthearted and doesn't hint at blame in any way, ask one of the other maids to help the MOH plan the bachelorette, and let this whole incident go. Forgive her

for insisting on doing things she's not capable of (whatever the reason), and forgive yourself

for allowing her to bully you into it.

And be more careful with assigning responsibilities from here on out.

I totally agree. You knew your MOH was a terrible speller but you allowed her to proof read her own work - that was a disaster waiting to happen

My BFF knows I couldn't bake a cake to save my life so there's no way she'd allow me to make one for her wedding!!

Her terrible mis-spelling screams of dyslexia which is often dismissed as lazyness by teachers. If you really think she's lazy enough to sent something out that would embarrass you, then you've only got yourself to blame by not speaking up earlier. I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt as I think at least she's trying to help.

 

[Dannielle]

I completely understand why you are angry and embaressed, I would just send an email around clarifying the plans.

On the bright side, at least you have a MOH who wanted to through you a "Bacolet" Party

 

[ckrickett]

In a situation like this if I were a bad speller (I''m just a bad typer) I would take special care with someones elses invites.
The laziness is something I wouldn''t stand and I would probably tell her if she can''t put extra effort into it not to do it at all.

 

[sunnyd]

Here''s the update: I told her how disappointed I was that the only thing she''s done for this wedding got screwed up royally. Turns out she handwrote the invites, so they''re ALL different. The best man''s wife didn''t even know who the bacolet party was for because my name wasn''t even on it! Just the MOHs, whom she has never met.

In the end, she''s sending out an evite, but not until on of my BMs has proofed it. I''m still annoyed, but what can I do...

Some of you are right, she does have a learning disability I think. But she does know it. The thing is, I asked her to make sure she proofed it before sending it out!!! She wouldn''t let me see it anway, and they were handwritten so...yeah.

VR and London, you''re right. She shouldn''t even be in my bridal party, but I''m far from a pot-stirrer (even when it comes to my own sanity, apparently

) so I let it be. She hasn''t done much of anything as a BM besides complain about cost, so I let her do this one thing, assuming she wouldn''t want to screw it up. And now I''m an ass for doing so.

Anyway, my wonderful FSsIL (sisters) are on the case now, so everything should go smoothly. I hope. Thanks for the advice, and for laughing with me.

 

[dragonfly411]

This is precisely the reason when I DO become a BIW my sister (who will be my MOH) will not be doing invites. She spells tomorrow tomarrow lol.

 

[sunnyd]

Date: 9/25/2009 11:19:29 AM
Author: dragonfly411
This is precisely the reason when I DO become a BIW my sister (who will be my MOH) will not be doing invites. She spells tomorrow tomarrow lol.

At least you can tell what it''s supposed to be!

Bacolet=bachelorette? No. LOL...