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Your "DOH!!!" moment...

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Oh boy. Can I preface this whole story with the fact that I drove an old POS at the time?

I insist on being early to work. I can''t handle just being on time, it drives me nuts. I have to be early. So for my retail job at the mall I leave half an hour early to get to a mall around 5 miles away. It''s a good thing, too...

I went to go get my car to go to work. My boyfriend was walking me to the car and I was going to drop him off on my way. So I get in the car, start it, and pull out of the space. Well, I try to, anyways. The car dies. So I let it roll back into the space and start again. It doesn''t work. I started to worry. It was a POS and as soon as it died I was just going to get rid of it, but I couldn''t have it die before a shift! So I call my manager, tell her I''m having car problems and will be 15 minutes late. She says no problem. Meanwhile, my boyfriend was checking the engine and decided I just didn''t have enough oil. So he walks two blocks to get the oil and puts it in the car. I decide (knowing nothing about cars) to just let it sit, and I get a ride to work. At work my boss lists all the possible problems, and how to fix them. She thought the battery was dead, and told me to just go to Wal-Mart.

The next day, same time, I go to start the car and it won''t start. My BF and I are completely baffled, so he called his dad. Now, his dad has been my go-to guy for a lot of things, so I figure he''ll have a good idea. BF calls him, laughs, and hangs up. He won''t tell me what''s the problem, but he walks off to the gas station and leaves me sitting on the car.

3 guesses what he came back with a gallon of. Sure enough, I had run completely out of gas with just enough fumes in the tank to get into a parking space. That was a year ago and I still haven''t lived it down.
 
Date: 7/10/2007 11:47:20 PM
Author: princesss
Oh boy. Can I preface this whole story with the fact that I drove an old POS at the time?


I insist on being early to work. I can''t handle just being on time, it drives me nuts. I have to be early. So for my retail job at the mall I leave half an hour early to get to a mall around 5 miles away. It''s a good thing, too...


I went to go get my car to go to work. My boyfriend was walking me to the car and I was going to drop him off on my way. So I get in the car, start it, and pull out of the space. Well, I try to, anyways. The car dies. So I let it roll back into the space and start again. It doesn''t work. I started to worry. It was a POS and as soon as it died I was just going to get rid of it, but I couldn''t have it die before a shift! So I call my manager, tell her I''m having car problems and will be 15 minutes late. She says no problem. Meanwhile, my boyfriend was checking the engine and decided I just didn''t have enough oil. So he walks two blocks to get the oil and puts it in the car. I decide (knowing nothing about cars) to just let it sit, and I get a ride to work. At work my boss lists all the possible problems, and how to fix them. She thought the battery was dead, and told me to just go to Wal-Mart.


The next day, same time, I go to start the car and it won''t start. My BF and I are completely baffled, so he called his dad. Now, his dad has been my go-to guy for a lot of things, so I figure he''ll have a good idea. BF calls him, laughs, and hangs up. He won''t tell me what''s the problem, but he walks off to the gas station and leaves me sitting on the car.


3 guesses what he came back with a gallon of. Sure enough, I had run completely out of gas with just enough fumes in the tank to get into a parking space. That was a year ago and I still haven''t lived it down.
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In your defense, he didn''t notice the "Empty" on the gas gauge, either!

I just thought of another REALLY DOH! moment I had a few months ago. DH just left for his deployment (
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) and my friend picks me up for us to go out for the day so I wouldn''t have to drive my car. Let me preface by saying that DH and I are sharing my car at this point, so I am used to the car being gone for a few days while he is gone. Since he was going to be gone for months though, it''s sitting at home. Anyway, my mind is everywhere, memory is shot... you all know the feeling. Well, she drops me off at about later that night and I get out of the car to go in the house. She says she''s going to stop at Walgreen''s to develop some photos, I say "bye" and leave. Well once I get in the house I cannot for the life of me find my cell phone. I am convinced and worried that DH is going to call and I won''t be able to talk to him because we don''t have a landline, plus I can''t get a hold of ANYONE, and I''m staying by myself at this point. So I walk out of the house, PAST my car, and walk up to the Walgreen''s about a mile or two up the road. I get there and realize she has gone to the Walgreen''s by SCHOOL, which is 15 minutes away. I walk back home, crying the whole time because I have no way to call her OR get to her (still haven''t realized about having my car), and what am I going to do? I walk past the car AGAIN without thinking, go inside, move my purse out of the way... and there''s my cell phone. It was the most awful DOH! moment I have ever had. I felt like a complete idiot!

*M*
 
Summer of my sophomore year of college, I''m driving by the guy-I-was-dating''s house on my way to work. He lived with his grandparents. He was outside helping them repave their driveway. They lived in a nice little suburban neighborhood.

I honk, waive, try to be all cute and then manage to SMACK my car into a speed limit sign. I messed up the sign pretty good (or so the guy told me...I just continued driving!)

When I got to work, I took one look at my car and realized that I had completely knocked off my mirror on the passenger side, and completely scraped up the body of my car on the passenger side. About $2800 worth of damage.

Well done me. Well done.
 
All of these stories are great.

Lynn, I like that your friend just yelled out her name once she remember it. Too funny.

Happilyeverafte and Littlelysser, I tore off the mirror on my last car once going in to the garage and once coming out of the garage. When I went to the body shop for the 2nd incidence, I just kept saying, “I know, I know” because I’d heard the entire story once before. Our new car has mirrors that fold in.

My most recent DOH - Our car doesn't need a key as long as you have the remote on you when you walk up to or get in the car. About 2 months ago I went to the mall and when I got out of the car I couldn't lock the car. I decide to walk away from the car and walk back to see if I could lock it. No luck. I get back in the car and hit the start button. No luck. I'm thinking "how I am going to get the car started?" I had my cell phone ready to call my husband to come get me then I realize, oh yeah, I have a key to the car. The remote has a key you can pop out to use in the ignition. In the 2 years we've had the car I've never pulled out my key to use one time. I felt pretty silly but was glad I haven't called my husband because he's still be teasing me about that one. It turned out the batteries were dead in my remote. DOH!!!
 
Ok, I have two, and they both involved a car I used to have. The first one was right after I got it, I drove over to my parent''s house. There were some men working on the intersection by their house, and there was one of those big orange "men working" signs about a half a block from the intersection. For some dumb reason, I decided to park exactly where that sign was located. I don''t know why I forgot it was there (I had known it) and I also don''t know why I didn''t see it, but I didn''t! And when I pulled up to perform my "perfect" parallel park along the curb, I heard the most awful noise as I drove by that stupid sign and it made a yard long scratch all the way down the side of my new car! If that wasn''t bad enough, the men who were working on the street saw the whole thing and were standing there laughing their behinds off! I was so humiliated! I didn''t even want to get out of the car! So, I just pulled out and drove away, and parked on the other side of the block where they couldn''t see me and walked to my parent''s house (bawling my eyes out the entire time).

My second incident was one day when I was out running errands. I parked my car in the parking lot of a shop and went inside to pick up some odds and ends. I was in a bit of a hurry that day, and after I paid for my purchases, I ran out and jumped in my car. When I put my key in the ignition, nothing happend! I couldn''t figure out why my silly car wouldn''t start up, it had been running just fine only a few minutes earlier? I kept turning the key and trying to make the engine turn over in vain. I bet I sat there for several minutes all frustrated. It was then that I looked over to the passenger seat and saw some strange briefcase and a box of tissues. I still sat there blankly for a moment more before it hit me that I was sitting in the wrong car! OMG! I jumped out of that car soooo fast, scared to death someone had seen me trying to start up the wrong car. I grabbed my shopping bags (which were already deposited in the back seat of this other person''s car) and jumped out. I then saw my own car parked a couple of spaces away, so I jumped in, started it up and drove out of that parking lot as fast as I could go! That happened several years ago, and I still feel so stupid when I remember it.
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The receptionist at work has one of those electric babbling water brooks that plugs into the wall.
One Friday she starts to leave for the evening but slips back in to turn it off saying, God if I forget to turn this off and it runs all weekend I can just hear Ray (the president) coming in Monday morning bitching about the water bill....
 
I live in the Washington, DC area and one time driving past the Washington Monument, I asked my sister and husband who it was a monument to.
 
I once jokingly asked my boyfriend if he wanted cucumber in his salad, knowing that he would say no.

He goes, "No way....it reminds me too much of a pickle!"

I about died laughing. He thought pickles grew in the gound. haha
 
These stories are hilarious!

I can't think of a doh moment right now but I'm sure I've had many.

ETA: Have you ever tried looking for something, like your glasses, to only find that it's ON YOUR HEAD!? I can recall doing that a few times.
 
Back in high school, I had a bf who was pestering me to tell him something that I didn''t want to talk about, so I told him "curiosity killed the cat" (one of my mom''s favorite expressions). He got really quiet and said, "I''m sorry, I didn''t know you had a cat. When did it die?". My mom and I laugh about it to this day!
 
My sister, who has a one week old baby, told me this story last night.

A friend gave her some flowers as congratulations. Something went wrong and they became moldy. My sister removed the moldy flowers and threw them away. Then she took a drink from the glass the moldy flowers had been in! Doh!
 
I''ve had so many, it''s hard to think of just one. Here''s one.

I own a few pc''s and often run them at the same time. They''re in the solarium and it gets a little noisy. I don''t usually close the sliding glass door, but the noise was bothering me that day, so I do. I''m expecting an important phone call. The closest phone is in the solarium. Phone rings and I spin around to get it. Bang! I walk into the glass door hard enough to bounce off. Blinking, walking unsteadily, holding my forehead, I reach ahead (seeing stars), slide door open and answer phone.

G.
 
I was working the concessions table at a dance in college (I know, I am cooler than a Good Humor truck.) We also were selling raffle tickets to some event or other. We had to write down the names of the purcheser on each ticket.

One girl I kinda sorta knew bought one. For the life of me I couldn''t remember her last name, but we were well past the point where I could ask her...I was afraid I was going to insult her by letting her know that her last name just hadn''t been important enough for me to find out.

In a fit of genius, I said, "Hey, can you spell your last name for me again?" like I''d forgotten or something.

She cocked her head a bit and said, extremely slowly, "S...M...I....T...H"

DOH indeed!
 
Date: 7/11/2007 7:04:14 PM
Author: jas
I was working the concessions table at a dance in college (I know, I am cooler than a Good Humor truck.) We also were selling raffle tickets to some event or other. We had to write down the names of the purcheser on each ticket.

One girl I kinda sorta knew bought one. For the life of me I couldn''t remember her last name, but we were well past the point where I could ask her...I was afraid I was going to insult her by letting her know that her last name just hadn''t been important enough for me to find out.

In a fit of genius, I said, ''Hey, can you spell your last name for me again?'' like I''d forgotten or something.

She cocked her head a bit and said, extremely slowly, ''S...M...I....T...H''

DOH indeed!
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LOL!
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That one made me snort tea!

DOH moments.

I''ve recently had serious memory issues so I know that I''ve had some... of course, I can''t REMEMEBER any of them right now can I?
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this one is pretty funny well to me anyway...
I was working for a computer consulting firm...
A new client calls and needs some work done.
I go too the building walk into the office and tell the secretary, Hi I'm ________ I'm here to fix the computers.
She calls back and tells her boss that I am there.
He comes out with a funny look on his face and says I cant get my new printer working.
I'm thinking. hmmm the call was that their Internet was down.
No biggie sit down and fix the printer...
My phone rings and its the person who called wanting to know when I was going to be there.
I had written down 203 and it was 303 I was on the wrong floor, so I explained what happened and we picked up a new client out of it.
Both places ended up going out of business but as every time I went too either one we would have a huge laugh about the computer guy with esp who shows up to fix the problems even before you call him!
 
Glad I came across this... I don''t feel so bad about all my DOH moments... I have a ton! From the simple blonduh moment to the "OH my gosh! There is NO way that really happened! That should totally be in a movie!" moments. Here''s a couple mild ones...


This was in high school and I still blush when I retell it...
I''m really shy and was worse in hs. I was in cheer and we had to call the guys on the night before game days to wish them luck. Well, I didn''t know this guy but I call and shyly ask, "Is Jason there?" and the person on the other end asks, "Junior or Senior?" Puzzled I reply, "I thought he was a Sophomore?!" I immediately realized what I had just done, hung up and never called back! I could have died! *blushing*

While interpreting (English to ASL), I meant to sign: "I want to tell you about a recent experience." What I did sign was: "I want to tell you about a sex experience."
Another doozy... instead of "Grandma complains a lot" I signed "Grandma is horny a lot."
Both of these are on video to forever remind me of my DOH moment.
 
When IKEA first opened I went to get a bureau and a night stand for my apartment after graduating from College. I paid for the items and was told to drive around to pick them up. So I get handed to very THIN boxes.
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I said no, you see I bought a bureau and a night stand. They said THESE are it!!! You have to assemble them yourself!!! OMG, did I feel dumb!! So that''s my DOH moment. Yes I did assemble them, without much trouble. Still crack up about it, as I had no idea!!!!!
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This is a funny thread.
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I have gone grocery shopping and paid for bags of groceries, then walked out of the supermarket after receiving my change. Hands swinging!

I''m lucky if I remember the groceries while driving home!
 
Had a duh! moment tonight.
Stupid cold and stupid weather.
Went to MickeyD''s tonight to get some $1 double cheese burgers because I blew off geting groceries.
I paid and then drove right by the second window, DUH! had too back up and get my order.
 
These stories are great. I''ve had so many it''s embarrassing.

When I still lived in Jacksonville, I''d talk to David every morning on my way to work. This one morning I was running a little late. When I pulled into the parking lot, I grabbed my purse, and searched the car, then told David that I couldn''t find my cell phone.....I must have left it at home. He asks me what I''m talking to him on. DOH
 
We have a lolly bowl at work and this morning, I went to the supermarket and bought 3 bags of lollies to put in it. As I walked from the supermarket to work, I realised something was ''wrong''. I left the bag of lollies at the check out counter. Rushed back to the supermarket and luckily it was still there.
 
When my son was around 11 or 12, I had him help me move a double dresser to the basement. When we got to the family room, I told him we had to lift the dresser high to get it over the footstool. "Ummm, mom....can''t we just move the footstool?"
 
LMAO! I''m so glad you guys rekindled this thread!

It has been a rough week and I was definitely in need of some chuckles!

I am blonde and full of my own DOH moments...if course Back-to-School Night is tomorrow, so I am brain-dead and can''t think of them, but I''ll post them when I do!

Sadly, I''m afraid there are just too many to count!
 
Uh, I hit my garage door backing out yesterday. Why you ask? because I let my 2 year old hold the garage door opener while in his carseat. Total prego brain lapse. Who does that? fortunately, no damage to my car....just knocked the door off the tracks.

I feel like a dolt.
 
My mom used to drive my older brother and I to school when we were kids. This occured when I was in kindergarten. One day she was particularly frazzled she put me in the car, got in herself, and proceed to leave. WITHOUT MY BROTHER!!!! All I remember is driving down our road and seeing my brother running after us waving his arms and lunch box over his head screaming for us to wait. LOL it''s funny even today. He''s now 30.
 
We all love my Mum''s home-made scones. Warm, with butter and jam and a cup of tea, oh yum!
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My Dad often warms himself up a scone in the microwave, using his tried-and-trusted method of turning all the dials to ''max'' and then just watching the food... He was doing this one day when the phone rang, so he ran out to the other room to answer it, closing the kitchen door behind him to keep down the noise from the microwave. When he put the phone down and turned round, he swears there was smoke curling out from under the door.
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He ran to the kitchen and opened the door and found that the scone had exploded in the microwave and blown the door open and there was scone everywhere! But much worse - my Dad''s beloved cat had followed him into the kitchen and he''d shut her in there with the exploding scone bomb! The poor thing was apparently running in tiny circles round the kitchen floor, absolutely baffled as to how to get out...

It was ages before the smell of smoke went away... or the cat trusted Dad again...
 
Date: 8/23/2007 12:07:02 AM
Author: oshinbreez
When my son was around 11 or 12, I had him help me move a double dresser to the basement. When we got to the family room, I told him we had to lift the dresser high to get it over the footstool. ''Ummm, mom....can''t we just move the footstool?''
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I have a similar duh moment to the scone story. When I was little (think 3rd grade or so) my brother used to watch me after school. One day I came home from school and I wanted a snack. I went to heat up a frozen bagel in the microwave. Instead of putting it on for 30 seconds, I put it on for 30 minutes...and then forgot about it. My brother came inside to the house filled with smoke and me in my room doing who knows what. By the time we got the bagel out of the microwave it was a lump of black, charred, carbon. OOPS!!!
 
A few weeks ago my boss asked me to reschedule a court date and call the client to let him know what''s going on. Okay. Easy enough. I call the court, prepare my motion and grab the message pad. I call the client and tell him the situation and let him know about the new court date. Talked to him for probably about 15 minutes. Hang up. Easy, right?

The next week, the client goes to court and when the boss isn''t there he gets mad and comes down to the office. I meet him in the reception area and explain that I had talked to him about the rescheduling and that he didn''t need to be there today, etc. He swore that I never talked to him and that he had no idea what I was talking about. I''m thinking this guy is on drugs or something.

When the boss gets back into the office a few days later I tell him the story and he asks if I called the right Mr. Smith. I''m like yeah I got his number right off the message pad and point to the number I called. The boss then tells me there''s actually TWO Mr. Smith''s (same first name and all) and that I must have called the wrong one! DUH! Why didn''t the guy I called say that he didn''t even have anything scheduled in the first place?

I managed to get it all straightened out but puhleeese! I''m blonde so can you blame me?

Jess
 
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