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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

38w3d

hi everyone. went for the 2nd opinion in the specialized cancer hospital in Amsterdam yesterday and the surgeon really got me thinking about the future (up until now I was just thinking of the effects of the operations on the baby), so I am taking into consideration going for a mastectomy after all with reconstructive surgery right away, and he said not to remove all the lymph nodes from my armpit, just a few more. and he said also not to bother with an MRI as my breasts are undergoing quite some changes being pregnant and getting ready for bfing (though I won't) that it's just going to end up showing false-positivies. plus if I choose for mastectomy, then there's no need for MRI. knowing I won't be pregnant for the next operation and realizing that I want to be around a long time for my daughter and increase my survival rate, I am thinking of having the operation done at that hospital (if I have to be away from my daughter anyway for a few days, doesn't matter where it is, so might as well get operated at the best place, which is an hour away). the surgeon also said there is no long waiting list and they'd be happy to operate me and I can always do my treatments in my original hospital nearer to home. so they're going to call me in a week to find out what I've decided.

this afternoon I have another appointment with the surgeon who performed the lumpectomy. the guy I met yesterday was going to try to call him today so that he is aware of what we've discussed. even though I'm taking my operation business elsewhere, I think he'll agree with me as he also originally told me to go for a mastectomy, but when you're pregnant you just want to go with the least drastic decisions.

so I am really happy to be induced tomorrow and not have to spend weeks waiting for the baby to come (I think if I hadn't done anything she might have waited til 42 weeks) so that I can get my head on straight and make the best decision not just for the short term, but more importantly for the long term.

Lanie - as you can see, I have been spending most of my time in and out of hospital. think I went on "forced" maternity leave on 12 Nov. otherwise, I spent a lot of time just relaxing at home. I prepared the birth announcements on-line and printed out all the address labels so I don't have to look all those up later. I haven't been able to do much arts & crafts due to the surgery recovery. my mom is here now, rearranging/cleaning my pantry. I think she is more into nesting than I am!
 
Congrats Icekid and Lynnie!

Good luck on the induction Noel!

Lanie, you look fabulous :bigsmile:


AFM...this week has been been really up and down. Since DH got hit on Sunday the 28th we went in and saw the surgeon that performed his fusion and looks like there is a new bulge on the disc right above where he had the surgery. The doctor is hopeful that it will resolve itself. DH's mood has been up and down and it's been pretty stressful in our house. Not to mention we are having a roommate issue that came to a head on Sunday. Basically we found someone to move in with us so that we could save for the baby. Unfortunatey this girl is basically treating our home like a hotel and I have to clean up after her (dishes, trash, cook, clean, etc) and then she had the nerve to say that I don't want to "do girl talk" with her. Of course not, if you treat me like a servant why would I want to be your friend? Anyways, that has been creating a lot of stress too so I think we are going to ask her to leave. I just can't take care of DH, myself, another adult, and the pets. It's alot on top of working full time and working on China time at night for my job.

Ok, enough about my pity party. We get to see the baby again on the 15th and confirm that "she" is in fact a she. Hope everyone is doing well!
 
noel, it sounds like you are thinking this decision through very thoroughly and you should be commended! You were very smart to get a second opinion. As difficult as it might be to have a mastectomy, it sounds like it may indeed be the best decision. In your situation, I think that's what I would do. But whatever you choose to do, we support you! I'm so excited for you to meet your LO tomorrow! I'll be thinking of you, sending good vibrations that the induction goes well!

Cupcake, so sorry to hear about the roommate trouble you're dealing with on TOP of DHs recovery. Ug. You've got a lot on your plate! I hope Dh gets well soon and that the roommate shapes up or ships out!

:wavey: everyone else! And congrats to the newest mamas! I'm looking forward to join you all here soon!

Mrs
5 weeks 1 day
 
Noel - Again, you are demonstrating just what a poised and graceful women you are. I can't say enough to how well you are dealing with all of this. I doubt that most people would have the emotional strength to handle all of it, not to mention those about to have a little one. I'm glad to hear that you have gotten what seems like a sound 2nd opinion and hope that this will eliminate any future risks as well. I wish you LOADS of dust today as you deliver your little girl and can't wait to see pics of her when she gets her. Good luck for a quick and relatively painless delivery!

Cupcake - Goodness gracious girl, what a mess. I really hope that you can sit that little priss down and get her out b/c Lord knows you don't need another person to take care of, in addition to your LO, your DH, your fur babies, and of course you! I think the extra money is not worth the extra stress, so send her packing! :devil: As for your DH, I really do hope that his injuries will heal themselves and that further surgery will not be needed. Btw, what happened with the person that hit him. Are you guys pressing charges or anything?
 
Icekid, Little jumper looks just absolutely perfect!!! :love: :love: :love: Thank you so much for sharing photos!! Tell us more! Tell us more! How's everything going?!?!

Lynnie, Would love to hear an update from you too! :))

Noel, Good luck tomorrow!!!!!!! Squeeee! Can't believe you finally get to meet your little girl! It seems like such a long time ago that we all started this journey! I'm glad that you got the second opinion. Trust yourself to make the best decision for you and your family. I am so glad to hear that your mother is with you to support you now. I'm sure it must make all the difference in the world.

Lanie, You look fabulous!! All baby!! So sweet! What grade do you teach again? What do your students say/think -- any "kids say the funniest things" type of comments?

PrincessPlease, Congratulations and Welcome!! :wavey:

Mrs, Welcome!! :wavey: Please join us as soon as your ready!!

Cupcake, I hope you ditch the roommate! Sounds like it would make your life a lot easier!

Deelight, I agree with the other ladies re: BH. Mine felt like a general tightening right in front of me. I had one the other day. I usually only get them when I am doing something physical like a lot of cleaning or yardwork (not much of that any longer, hee hee) and they stop after I rest a bit. I drink water constantly, so I think that's why I haven't had too many.

geri, You look great, as always! :wavey: Did you have an u/s last week for size? How did it go?

Laila, How are you doing? Are you still working? Will you work up until labor starts? I haven't decided what to do yet myself, but my dr and doula said I should continue working, otherwise I will just be at home wondering when labor will start. I'm still feeling pretty comfy, so I will probably continue working.

***********
AFM -- 5 weeks to go. Our doula came over, and I am very confident and comfortable that she will be joining DH and I in the birth room! We will call her as soon as we think I am in labor. She will come over and help us determine when to leave for the hospital. Cannot wait!!!

I had a dr's appointment last week and had a bunch of questions. The dr offered me an u/s, which I accepted. They typically only order two ultrasounds, so I was very happy to have another. Samantha is definitely a girl! :bigsmile: The tech said she is 6 pounds now, and if I go the full 5 weeks, she will likely be larger than average, maybe high sevens, low eights. :bigsmile: I'm so proud of my baby girl. She is head down and will not change at this point.

At my appointment last week, the dr said they induce if you go 9 days past your due date. Several months ago, they said they wouldn't induce until 2 weeks past, but this doctor told me that they changed it to 9 days for improved outcomes. I'm curious what other practices do?

And, a little confession I've been debating on sharing here. I am so so so sad about my family. My mother has not been supportive of me at all during my pregmancy. She has shown nothing but disinterest, but says she is excited about having a granddaughter. This is not a case where she has a very busy life and doesn't have time for me. She does it purely out of spitefulness. She says the most hurtful things to me. I really wouldn't even be able to write it out here. She is not well. She has not been well, ever, perhaps. My father died when I was a week old. My sister is very ill and lives with my mother. She hates me, as far as I can tell because I do not suffer from her disease, because I am successful and because I have refused her efforts to make me a Christian. She will be nice at times, and I think there is hope for a positive relationship, but it doesn't last more than a day or two before she is telling me why I am a terrible person again (she usually has to go back a few years to create stories about how I have wronged her -- these are really muddled and crazy stories.) I basically share as little personal information as possible with her at this point because she will use anything she can to judge me or tell me that I am a terrible person.

So, despite all of this, I do KNOW that I am not a terrible person. I am actually quite a lovely, thoughtful and caring person, which is a miracle to me, given that I was raised by my mother and exposed to her dysfunctions. It is still really hard to hear it though. Everyone tells me to just lower my expectations, but it is so hard, when all I want is what it seems like everyone else has.

So, I go back to therapy this Thursday. I know that I have to change the way I react to my family and their abuse. I usually just curl up and cry, and I know it is not good for my baby. I am really really worried about how things will go when my mother and sister do meet her. I do not want Samantha to be exposed to their abuse, and I am hoping my therapist can help me figure out how to control the situation. My husband's parents have both passed. He has a sister, but she is not close by and will not be visiting any time in the near future.

I realize I am rambling here. I will probably ask to have this deleted one day, so if anyone wants to repond to me, maybe try not to quote anything I've said. Thanks so much for letting me share my imperfect life. :(sad
 
Noel-You are so strong and brave! I can't belive that you get to meet your little girl tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Squee!!!!!!! :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl: :appl:

It sounds like the second opinion was a great choice and that the mastectomy might be the beset path forward to help keep you healthy in the long-term.

I'm thinking about you and can't wait until your little girl gets here!!!

LV-I am sorry that you are having a rough time with your family. it sounds like you've been hurt a lot and that your mother is a very difficult and self-centered person. I hope that the therapist can help you work through how/if you want to introduce Samantha to them and the best way to handle this going forward. You are going to be a wonderful mama!
 
oh previous poster, :(( had no idea you were dealing with this. I cut my father out of my life (a different situation to yours, so I don't know what you're going through) because in the end it is just easier not to have to deal with him. basically, I just think he is a poor father and I really can't fathom how a parent could ever make their kid feel unloved. and though he says he wants to have contact with me, I know I'd just be putting myself up for disappointment again. and I can't go through that again (especially not now with the things I'm going through with the cancer). ever since I cut him out of my life about 10 years ago, I have felt so much better! so I know I made the right decision. I in no way forbid him to see his granddaughter. I don't mind if my mom takes DD to visit him, but I don't want to see him. I know your situation is completely different as there isn't other family for you to turn to so I can imagine how you really just want it to work out with those you do have. wish I could give you some good advice. I think the step you're taking on Thursday is a good idea. (hope I did an ok job trying not to quote anything.)

AFM - am I going to be able to sleep tonight???
 
LV- I don't have any advice to offer but I just want to give you a big hug!! It sounds like you have turned out to be a wonderful young woman inspite of your family. I'm so sorry that they treat you like this.
 
Noel- If I were you I'm sure I wouldn't be able to sleep! I'm so excited for you to meet your little girl tomorrow- good luck and I hope the induction goes smoothly! I'm also happy you got a second opinion and I wish you well.
 
Thank you so much. I knew you would understand.

Bella - You are absolutely right. My therapist said the same thing about both my mother and sister -- that they are very self-centered. I hadn't seen it that way before. This was the last time I was there, almost two years ago, so not much has changed.

Noel - I'm sorry. I didn't know about your father. It is so hard. An older and wiser friend of mine suggested that I cut them out of my life, but it is so hard, because, like you said, they are the only family I have. I did send them an e-mail this morning, telling them that I won't prevent them from seeing the baby, but that I see no hope for repairing our relationship in the next month, so I won't be speaking with them at all before the baby is born. There is no point in letting them stress me now, and I am really just trying to control the situation so my baby can continue to grow, with peace all around her. The rest of my life is quite serene, thankfully.

I hope you sleep very well tonight! You need your rest before your daughter's birthday!

Tiffany - Thank you so much for your kind words. I've been meaning to post about this for a while, and I have to say, it feels really good to just share what I have been dealing with.
 
Noel - looking forward to your big day!! I am sure you are very excited!!

Super good that you went for 2nd opinion. In general, you want only a breast oncology surgeon to operate on you (not a general surgeon), so it is best to go where the experts are, even if it's a bit inconvenient. Mastectomy is not so bad and reconstruction techniques are amazing these days. Have no worries about that. Glad to hear you are doing well!
 
LovesVintage HUGS woman! I am a big believer that family is *not* about blood it is about emotional bonds, love, support. Just because you share blood does not mean you have to have a relationship with someone who treats you badly. At present I do not have contact with my biological father. He abandoned me as a child and resurfaced sometime in my late teens. We were in contact for a few years and I made a certain amount of peace with his actions, but have lost touch for the last 4 years by my choice. He has not met my husband or my son. I think he is also mentally ill, and though I have forgiven him and do not hold ill will, I do not have interest in being in a relationship with him right now. Anyways, all that is to say that I feel you on the messed up family front ;)) Your priority needs to be YOUR health and happiness, because very soon you will be responsible for your daughter's health and happiness too, and you cannot do that with toxic people trying to cut you down. If you think the best way to protect your daughter is to keep her from meeting toxic family members, then do it. Do it. Protect that little girl the way that someone should have protected you!

re: inducution. I did some research on this when pregnant with Hunter. The research is very clear on a few things.

1) there is NO benefit to baby or mother for inducing because a large baby is anticipated. Do not let then induce you on those grounds as it only serves to increase the odds of C-section significantly. This conclusion was reached by comparing the birthing outcomes of *anticipated* large babies to *surprise* large babies. The surprise large babies had no worse outcomes than any other babies in terms of interventions and outcomes for mom and baby, but the *anticipated* were more likely to be born by c-section in part because of early induction.

2) In a cost-benefits analysis looking at outcomes for mom and baby and the need for interventions, induction does NOT win up until 1 week past the due date. Up until then, going into natrual labour was much better than being induced in terms of outcomes. But after 1 week past due date, the risks start to outweight the benefits of waiting. I am personally against interventions in general, but based on my research I concluded that I did not want to go more than 10 days past my due date with biophysical montioring in the latter part to make sure the placenta was not deteriourating (the main risk of waiting).

Noel I think you have got your head on straight, woman. You will make a good decision. How will you sleep tonight? Wellll my midwife once recommended a glass of wine and a hot bath ;))
 
Lanie-In the first few days that I bf I did so in the bedroom on the glider. It was a learning curve and I only liked to bf where I was most comfortable. After about 2 weeks, I would bf out in the living room w/out a cover and in front of the women. The only men I bf in front of were my FI and brothers. My brothers only because during my hospital stay they were around when I would bf so there wasn't much to hide after that :p After about 6 weeks where bfing became like second nature, I would bf everywhere with a cover. Do what's most comfortable for you and don't worry about the guests.

Noel-good luck tomorrow!! How exciting!!!!!!!!

LV-sorry about your family drama :(
 
Noel~ Just popping in to wish you the best of luck tomorrow. Your baby girl will be in your arms SO SOON!! :appl: :appl: :appl: I'm so sorry you are having to deal with such terrible health issues at this wonderful time of your life. You're a beautiful strong woman and your daughter will have a great role model in you. In considering the mastectomy (which is what my plan is if I am ever diagnosed due to family history), please research the risks associated with immediate reconstruction. From my understanding, it's better to wait a certain amount of time before placing the new breast. I know I'm not anyone to be giving you advice on this, but I am concerned and really want you to have as good an outcome as possible.

Hello all you preggies!!

ps~ My sis is preggo--due in Aug!!
 
Aww, LV, BIG HUGS. I'm sorry. I had no idea you had to deal with that stuff, but you are a wonderful person and it shows through in all your posts. And yay for getting to see miss Samantha again! :)

Noel, wishing you the best of luck with everything tomorrow!! You will be meeting your daughter so soon! How exciting!! Does it feel a bit surreal still?

Lanie, you look fabulous girl, all belly!

Princessplease, welcome and congrats!

AFM, still hanging around at almost 40 weeks! This little boy or girl is very comfy in here and doesn't show signs of wanting to make an appearance yet. My mom told me she dreamed I gave birth to a girl, and it's weird but she's usually pretty accurate with that stuff--guess I'll see soon enough.
 
Noel, good luck, thinking of you...
 
noel -Good luck tomorrow!! So excited for you to meet your daughter.

LV - While my situation is different than yours, I understand. I do not have a relationship with my mother other than a ten minute phone call every few months. That's just what it's come to for us. She's an alcoholic with no signs of ever being sober. Much like your mom she'll decide she's mad at me for something, I'm a bad person for something, etc and there won't be an end in sight until she just up and forgets that she was mad. I can't tell you how many times my sister has called me to tell me all of my pictures have been taken off the wall again. My mother has done that so many times I'm sure she can get them all down in two seconds flat. In our case I think she gets mad at me because according to her, "I think I'm better than everyone else." It's sad and unfortunate, but like Dreamer, I believe that family doesn't come from blood. I have people that I consider family who are friends as well as people I'm related to. I decided long ago that my mother's words weren't worth being taken seriously. She can't hurt me if I don't let her. It's hard sometimes because I would love to have a relationship with my own mother. But it wasn't in the cards for me and I accept that. I'm just thankful for the people that I do have in my life. Hugs to you!!!
 
Just poppin in to say GOOD LUCK TOMORROW NOEL!!! I hope everything goes well and that the hospital only gives you yummy food afterwards ;))

Also wanted to add that I'm still alive and kickin out here in cyberland! I have an appt on Friday to see a neurologist about my migraines and back issues (related maybe?) I guess I can give an update on that if it's anything exciting but I think they'll just have me see a chiropractor :wacko:
 
Noel- thinking of you and wishing you all the best. Nothing beats the smell of a brand new baby <3 <3 <3. Enjoy her!!!

LV- what a tough situation with your mom and sister. Glad you are going to see a therapist to get some help with it. Sounds like you have your daughter's best interest at heart. You're a good mama already :).
 
Noel - Wishing you all the best for today! Can't wait to hear all about it.

LV - I'm sorry you are dealing with grief from your family at this special time. I hope the therapist can give you some more assistance in managing this but I think you are doing the right thing by putting yourself and the baby first - you deserve to have serenity in all areas of your life. I really hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy and the arrival of your little bundle of joy.
 
Thanks Noelwr, LV and Lanie - the last couple of days it has changed to a more stitch like feeling down low could just be round ligament pain - as I said I am not to worried :)

lanie Your pic is so cute - not long now :)

Princess Welcome to the preggo's :) congrats on the positive test :)

Noelwr Good luck tomorrow I will be thinking of you and sending you loads of dust for a epidurally pain free speedy labour :) I can't wait to see pics of you little one - she is going to be one lucky little chicken having you for a mother - I so admire your strength and courage :) - Again good luck tomorrow and try to get some sleep :)

Cupcake Sorry you going through bad flatmate troubles along with everything else sounds like either you need to sit her down and tell her to pull her weight or chuff her out - looking after another person is not what you need - hope things start looking up soon

:( Poster She does sound self absorbed and angry with bitterness it is not your fault that she is angry with her circumstances and wants to make people around her miserable as well. The thing is your expectations are wants that is really fair enough - most girls want their mothers to share this time and it sucks when it does not happen that way it is good your seeing someone you can talk to - the thing is you grew up to be a lovely person and you will soon have a little girl that you can create a positive daughter/mother relationship with - not the same but I am sure it will be wonderful. *BIG HUGS*

Laila619 Maybe the LO is just wanting for the due date - good luck I hope she/he comes soon :)



________________________________________________

The temps are getting hotter here and my feet are getting bigger :rolleyes: and I feel like a whale
2 wks till Christmas holidays then when I get back 1 month till I go on mat leave I am so ready to go now - the heat is getting to me and the office I work in never seems cold enough to me atm - URGH

Hope all you ladies are well :)
 
Noel- just a quick note to say jumper and I are thinking of you! I am so excited for you to meet your little girl mama!
 
Noel, good luck!!!
Thank you all for the warm welcome!!

I have a question: Is it normal for early symptoms to just "disappear"? The reason I ask is that yesterday, my bbs an unviable PG now. I mean my bbs were on fire from approximately 7dpo till yesterday AM and that's it. I did get super nauseous after dinner last night, and have been having waves of nausea this am, but I wanted to know if anyone else experienced almost disappearing symptoms, and everytihng turned out fine. Thanks!
 
Geez! I posted a long post and Pricescope ate it up...are people having problems posting or is it just me?

In a jist:

LV -- I posted a really good comment, but as I'm rushing now, this was the point: you have plenty of time to decide on when/if they meet her. Enjoy getting the nursery ready, getting yourself ready, and filter out any negativity! Easier said than done, but that's my advice that echoes others. Have you posted pics on the nursery thread lately? I will tonight!!!

noel -- YAY!!! You probably are in the last minutes of labor, or already have your little girl in your arms. Can't wait!

Laila -- are you still around!??! You must be so ready to get this show on the road! I know I am!

Princess -- YES! I had a freakout where I was convinced I wasn't pregnant anymore bc my boobs suddenly felt normal and not sore, and that was pretty early on. I looked up online, and apparently it happens. Try not to worry!

Welcome to the new preggos! It's always nice to have you girls around, selfishly, so I can see how far I've come along and remember when I saw pictures of the later preggos and wished for that belly! :cheeky:
 
I meant my bbs were sore yesterday and I'm worried about it being unviable. I'm a huge worrywart so this pregnancy will be nuts lol!! I'm trying to relax. My mom said she's prepared for a looooooong 8 months lol!!!
 
Noel, hope all goes well today! Can't wait to hear all about baby girl! :appl:
 
Hey Ladies,

Just a quick drive by to say:

Lanie - OMG, what a cute belly you have there. I bet you are ready to have your little one come out though, lol.

LV - I am so very sorry to hear about your mom and sister acting that way. I can't imagine how difficult this whole thing must be without having family around to support you, let alone unsupportive family. I really hope that you are able to work out some of the sadness/anxiety with your therapist so that you can enjoy the impending birth of your little one. You are a fabulous and caring person, and I for one know I am happy to have you around and appreciate your comments and support. Take care of you sweetie.

Noel - I hope all is going well and that you little one is in your arms already!
 
Noel-thinking of you today!!!

PP-I had a really bad headache and extremely tired the week of my bfp. After that, nothing. Maybe you'll just be one of the lucky few that skips the yucky first tri symptoms 8-)
 
LV- I'm sorry for your issues with your family. My mom is not taking the news so swimmingly here, so I completely understand the dynamic that exists when there is tension. ::hugs::

Fiery- Thanks for the information! They got sore to touch again, so I'm guessing it's part of the rollercoaster!

AFM, 2nd beta was 62, 13dpo. I believe it was so low (14 on 11dpo) because I implanted on 10DPO and my wondfo only picked up a light, light line, with BFN on FRER and digital. My doubling time is 21.43 hours, doubling every .9 days, so I feel better knowing things are on the up and up. I have my annual tomorrow, so I'll discuss with the doc some things, then schedule my first prenatal. How long do docs check HCG for? I''m slightly concerned because the numbers are low, but this BW was drawn at 11:00am, 13dpo, first was 11dpo, 1:30pm
 
Princess - I wouldn't worry to much about it, considering that most OB's/ RE's won't even have you come in until 14DPO, so you are still really early. Also, as a refernce point, I had very similar numbers to you. My beta was 17.7 on 11DPO, 77 on 13DPO and then 802 on 18DPO. And to answer your questions, normally docs will only order 2 betas, unless there is a reason to do another. Seeing as how I got my betas done so early and I had possible LPD, my RE had me do a third, but your doc might not necessarily order it for you.

For now, I would just enjoy the pregnancy glow and not try to worry to much. I know that is easier said than done, but it will hopefully get easier as you move further into the 1st trimester.
 
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