Cupcake*Muffin
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2009
- Messages
- 351
I'm really not sure where to start.But I need someone to talk me down. I feel really helpless...
Last Tuesday, FI was walking across the parking lot at the high school he works at and a teenager who blew a stop sign and was speeding, hit him going about 20-25mph at least.This kid was trying to splash his friends that were standing on the sidewalk and actually was so preoccuppied with looking at if they got wet to notice that he hit FI. We got a hold of the security tape and FI was thrown like a rag doll--the teen didn't even hit the brakes until FI was on the windshield. We thought that FI would be ok, he was acting ok even though the left side of his body was all battered and bruised and his right wrist was definitely injured. X-rays and MRIs found nothing--at first glance. It's now been just over a week and FI was having shooting pain and his back was locking. He went back in for an MRI yesterday and we just found out that he has two herniated discs on his L1 and L2 lumbars, which is really rare, less than 10% of people with hernias get them there apparently. He is in extreme pain, his back has locked up so many times leaving him in the fetal position so he's slept out on the couch because we couldn't move him.
We are getting married in 31 days. He is now at the point where he can barely walk, sit, or stand. The doctor wants to try a few things but he said that surgery is likely. Our friend who had a severe hernia lasted 45 days--but at that point he couldn't move at all. We were planning on making the drive from Chicago to Edisto Island, SC which is a 15 hour drive, which I now don't think he can do. I don't think that FI can realistically, even stand for long periods of time so our first dance, the ceremony, and everything else for the big day would result in a lot of pain for him. I think we need to consider the possibility that we might have to postpone our wedding. We both want to get married but he physically, is not in good shape. I am worried that he will be in too much pain to enjoy our day even if he "sucked it up", and really, I would rather just wait or get married in Chicago. FI is concerned that everyone has already rented their beach houses, made plans to go, and we've paid all that money. Which I also realize, but I'm not sure he will be better by then.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I want to marry him and I know he wants to marry me. We have to wait until tomorrow to know what kind of action is going to be taken but even steroid shots and epideral shots have limits. I am also furious at this kid and the fact that he did not even get a ticket because it was on private property (school parking lot)...it's ridiculous because it feels like he's getting away with murder. On top of all of this, FI is on the short list for his dream side job---he's a conductor and had applied for a side gig directing a youth orchestra which would be a great thing for his career and the extra money would help us save for a family--but to interview he would have to conduct, which he cannot right now. He hasn't been able to since the accident. I just feel like this one kid's bad decision is really costing FI, not only his job, his career, but also our wedding. Is that wrong for me to say? I know people do stupid things all the time, I am grateful that FI did not get more hurt and luckily he jumped when the car approached him or he would have been underneath it.
But still.... I'm so worried and sick to my stomach. If he has surgery, we definitely will not have the wedding-- I really just want to marry the love of my life. We've had a pretty rough week...both our cars got hit, mine Monday, his Tuesday after we got back from the ER, my computer died, our patio furniture got stolen (obviously, these are just material things)...but this really just tops it. Next week we are to start sending out the remaining checks to our vendors, I'm thinking we might need to consider postponing.... Any words of wisdom ladies? I know everyone's been through tough times. Thanks.
Last Tuesday, FI was walking across the parking lot at the high school he works at and a teenager who blew a stop sign and was speeding, hit him going about 20-25mph at least.This kid was trying to splash his friends that were standing on the sidewalk and actually was so preoccuppied with looking at if they got wet to notice that he hit FI. We got a hold of the security tape and FI was thrown like a rag doll--the teen didn't even hit the brakes until FI was on the windshield. We thought that FI would be ok, he was acting ok even though the left side of his body was all battered and bruised and his right wrist was definitely injured. X-rays and MRIs found nothing--at first glance. It's now been just over a week and FI was having shooting pain and his back was locking. He went back in for an MRI yesterday and we just found out that he has two herniated discs on his L1 and L2 lumbars, which is really rare, less than 10% of people with hernias get them there apparently. He is in extreme pain, his back has locked up so many times leaving him in the fetal position so he's slept out on the couch because we couldn't move him.
We are getting married in 31 days. He is now at the point where he can barely walk, sit, or stand. The doctor wants to try a few things but he said that surgery is likely. Our friend who had a severe hernia lasted 45 days--but at that point he couldn't move at all. We were planning on making the drive from Chicago to Edisto Island, SC which is a 15 hour drive, which I now don't think he can do. I don't think that FI can realistically, even stand for long periods of time so our first dance, the ceremony, and everything else for the big day would result in a lot of pain for him. I think we need to consider the possibility that we might have to postpone our wedding. We both want to get married but he physically, is not in good shape. I am worried that he will be in too much pain to enjoy our day even if he "sucked it up", and really, I would rather just wait or get married in Chicago. FI is concerned that everyone has already rented their beach houses, made plans to go, and we've paid all that money. Which I also realize, but I'm not sure he will be better by then.
I guess I just don't know what to do. I want to marry him and I know he wants to marry me. We have to wait until tomorrow to know what kind of action is going to be taken but even steroid shots and epideral shots have limits. I am also furious at this kid and the fact that he did not even get a ticket because it was on private property (school parking lot)...it's ridiculous because it feels like he's getting away with murder. On top of all of this, FI is on the short list for his dream side job---he's a conductor and had applied for a side gig directing a youth orchestra which would be a great thing for his career and the extra money would help us save for a family--but to interview he would have to conduct, which he cannot right now. He hasn't been able to since the accident. I just feel like this one kid's bad decision is really costing FI, not only his job, his career, but also our wedding. Is that wrong for me to say? I know people do stupid things all the time, I am grateful that FI did not get more hurt and luckily he jumped when the car approached him or he would have been underneath it.
But still.... I'm so worried and sick to my stomach. If he has surgery, we definitely will not have the wedding-- I really just want to marry the love of my life. We've had a pretty rough week...both our cars got hit, mine Monday, his Tuesday after we got back from the ER, my computer died, our patio furniture got stolen (obviously, these are just material things)...but this really just tops it. Next week we are to start sending out the remaining checks to our vendors, I'm thinking we might need to consider postponing.... Any words of wisdom ladies? I know everyone's been through tough times. Thanks.
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