2008 brides... Dealing with long engagement?

[anchor31]

Date: 10/18/2006 3:51:55 PM
Author: Scintillating
Not to be morbid or pessimistic - but I''m happy to hear I''m not alone in my frustrations. It''s so difficult to deal with societal expectations/social norms with wedddings these days. I sort of envy the settler/colonial days when the town got together for a wedding and everyone just brought something to the party - there was no expectation that a young couple, just beginning their life together, would through a lavish party.

Anchor - Pics are Mandatory!

Scintillating...

I certainly agree with that! And yes, I promise to get pics...

 

[anchor31]

Bump for new 2008 brides...

Also, I've been looking for a dress similar to the one I fell in love with when I went shopping... and the Maggie Courtney is almost identical.

Isn't it pretty?

 

[hopefulheidi]

I can *so* relate. While not engaged *yet*, Nate and I have been talking about our potentianl wedding A LOT. He didn''t freak out when I made a mockup of the centerpieces I like, and he only picked on me a bit when I bought a bunch of clearanced Fall decorations. He is much more receptive and open and relaxed when we talk about the wedding now and I am finally starting to let myself get excited again.

While we are originally from opposite ends of NY state, we both like the idea of a Fall wedding in the Finger Lakes region, potentially at one of the amazing wineries in the area. As anyone from the Northeast knows, the wonderful colors of the autumn foliage make October an increasingly popular month for weddings.

Even this past May ''06 my first choice date at my first choice venue was already taken. I panicked, tried pushing Nate into putting a deposit down for a different date at the same location which lead him to seriously freak. While that doesn''t necessarily sound like a good thing, it somehow put us on the right path and we''ve made So much progress towards the aisle since then. It may have been the push he needed to get into the right frame of mind.

Being such a tradionalist, Nate really isn''t comfortable putting a deposit down to reserve a venue for Oct ''07 because he feels that will essentially mean we''re engaged and that the actual proposal will just be a formality at that point. If there are still any usable dates left for Oct ''07 when we are (finally) officially engaged, he is open to the idea of having a shorter engagement but he''s willing to wait until Oct ''08 if it means we can have exactly the wedding we want.

As much as I love the idea of having more time to plan, save money, lose weight, I am so impatient to start the actual marriage that I can''t imagine having to wait almost 2 years to make it official.

That leaves me wondering...
Is it better to have a shorter engagement with a less "ideal" wedding
OR
a longer, potentially more painful engagement with a more "ideal" wedding.

At this point, I''m really torn.

 

[anchor31]

hopefulheidi - Your situation sounds indeed frustrating... The best advice I can give you is to decide what''s more important for both of you, a smaller wedding sooner or a bigger wedding later? Sooner means a short and possibly stressful engagement, and later means a longer and possibly frustrating engagement...

Everyone has their preference.

In my case it was either to not sleep for an entire year while studying and planning the wedding in time for May 07 (no way I could do that

) or tough out the 26 months engagement until September 08... So I chose the latter.

And yes, autumn leave colours are amazing!!

October is a little late for colours here though; mid to late-September is usually preferred.

 

[hopefulheidi]

anchor...
hehe I feel your pain. The first time I was engaged, I actually thought I could pull off a wedding the same month that I planned on graduating from college. Stupid stupid stupid. It sounded like a good plan at the time (for what reason I can''t remember heeh) but as I was actually living through those hellish last few months of college: taking 20 credit hours per quarter, plus an internship, plus balancing friendships, a relationship, family relationships, and oh TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE, which lead me to cry unabashedly *every* Friday, I understood just how impossible a wedding would have been at that time.

It''s MUCH better to work on the wedding thing when you''ve got far less distractions on your plate.

Unfortunately my plate is quite empty right now...so I''m chomping at the bit to get this wedding thing in motion

 

[anchor31]

Date: 11/15/2006 11:23:16 AM
Author: hopefulheidi
anchor...
hehe I feel your pain. The first time I was engaged, I actually thought I could pull off a wedding the same month that I planned on graduating from college. Stupid stupid stupid. It sounded like a good plan at the time (for what reason I can''t remember heeh) but as I was actually living through those hellish last few months of college: taking 20 credit hours per quarter, plus an internship, plus balancing friendships, a relationship, family relationships, and oh TRYING TO DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH THE REST OF MY LIFE, which lead me to cry unabashedly *every* Friday, I understood just how impossible a wedding would have been at that time.

It''s MUCH better to work on the wedding thing when you''ve got far less distractions on your plate.

Unfortunately my plate is quite empty right now...so I''m chomping at the bit to get this wedding thing in motion

Yikes! That must have been crazy!

Thanks for shaing... I do get frustrated at times, but then I try to remember why I chose a 26 months engagement over a 10 months one... and it makes me feel better! I''m sending you good vibes so you can get the ball rolling for 2007 if it''s what you''d like... Good luck!

PS: I love your kitties!