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Super_Ideal_Rock
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Advice please :(
- Thread starter hellosydney
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purselover
Ideal_Rock
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Bia
Ideal_Rock
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sydney, I''m amazed at your strength. Based on what you''ve shared with us here, I think you absolutely did the right thing. IMO the worst part was him thinking he was so clever - supposedly writing her off, only to contact her using another email. Disgusting and infuriating from this end.
You deserve so much more than this guy and I am so glad that you were able to see this. Please do not get down on yourself over this ex, or the last one, or even over your parents. You have to do what feels right in that gut of yours. We''re not in this world to please others at the cost of our own health and happiness.
We''re here for you.
You deserve so much more than this guy and I am so glad that you were able to see this. Please do not get down on yourself over this ex, or the last one, or even over your parents. You have to do what feels right in that gut of yours. We''re not in this world to please others at the cost of our own health and happiness.
We''re here for you.
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Bleed Burnt Orange
Brilliant_Rock
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You did the best thing for yourself and should gain strength knowing that you''ll come out better off! You deserve a great guy and he''ll be there when you''re ready.
Just as your parents supported you with your now ex, I''m sure they''ll prefer to see you in a completly loving relationship and know that this was the only way to find that.
Good luck to you and, try to see the positives ahead. Look at the holidays as a chance to self reflect and to really be independent and be as happy as possible.
Just as your parents supported you with your now ex, I''m sure they''ll prefer to see you in a completly loving relationship and know that this was the only way to find that.
Good luck to you and, try to see the positives ahead. Look at the holidays as a chance to self reflect and to really be independent and be as happy as possible.
É
étoile
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Sydney,
My heart truely goes out to you after reading your posts. I know that this must have been devastating but I agree with Holly and so many of the ladies in their "deal breaker" assessment. I think you are very strong and have already done what would have been most difficult for me in ending your relationship with this man. I know you are worried about what your parents think and perhaps they will give you some flak about your decision but please take comfort in knowing that you have done the right thing and that this will ultimately make you happier in the future.
Sometimes we try to make excuses for the behavior of those we love. When we do that we just decieve ourselves. The truth was there in front of you in that email and you saw it. If anyone gives you a hard time, know that you are doing what''s best for you and be proud that you were smart enough to save your heart from further hurt down the road. Be kind to yourself now and spend some time doing things that make you happy.
My heart truely goes out to you after reading your posts. I know that this must have been devastating but I agree with Holly and so many of the ladies in their "deal breaker" assessment. I think you are very strong and have already done what would have been most difficult for me in ending your relationship with this man. I know you are worried about what your parents think and perhaps they will give you some flak about your decision but please take comfort in knowing that you have done the right thing and that this will ultimately make you happier in the future.
Sometimes we try to make excuses for the behavior of those we love. When we do that we just decieve ourselves. The truth was there in front of you in that email and you saw it. If anyone gives you a hard time, know that you are doing what''s best for you and be proud that you were smart enough to save your heart from further hurt down the road. Be kind to yourself now and spend some time doing things that make you happy.
choro72
Brilliant_Rock
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Diamond Eyes
Rough_Rock
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I never post but I just had to reply to this thread. I''ve recently been through something almost identical. You have absolutely done the right thing. DO NOT listen to his pleas and manipulation. Repeat: DO NOT LISTEN. I gave my ex way to many chances, and he never changed. We broke up two months ago after two years of lying and disappointment.
I gave him chances because he''s soooo sweet. He always seemed sooo sorry. He felt sooo guilty. He only did it because he likes to be liked etc etc. It''s bull. He loved the attention, and still does. He never really felt bad about it, only bad that he got caught. He cried and repented and told me so many times he''d go to counselling. He still hasn''t. It''s BS, he''ll never change, and as much as it hurt at the time, I''m SO HAPPY now I made the right choice and ditched him. Better late than never.
And, being the attention wh*re he is, he now cannot stop contacting me. He tries to set up lunches, get me to pour out emotion to him. I''m not budging and it''s driving him nuts. I''ve no doubt he is/will be also looking elsewhere for his attention fix though.
I know the prospect of spending the holidays without a SO isn''t a nice one now. But come the new year you''ll have the chance to be yourself again, and live without a nasty manipulator in your life. You and I both deserve something much better. One day soon you will thank your lucky stars for putting a stop to this. I promise you.
I gave him chances because he''s soooo sweet. He always seemed sooo sorry. He felt sooo guilty. He only did it because he likes to be liked etc etc. It''s bull. He loved the attention, and still does. He never really felt bad about it, only bad that he got caught. He cried and repented and told me so many times he''d go to counselling. He still hasn''t. It''s BS, he''ll never change, and as much as it hurt at the time, I''m SO HAPPY now I made the right choice and ditched him. Better late than never.
And, being the attention wh*re he is, he now cannot stop contacting me. He tries to set up lunches, get me to pour out emotion to him. I''m not budging and it''s driving him nuts. I''ve no doubt he is/will be also looking elsewhere for his attention fix though.
I know the prospect of spending the holidays without a SO isn''t a nice one now. But come the new year you''ll have the chance to be yourself again, and live without a nasty manipulator in your life. You and I both deserve something much better. One day soon you will thank your lucky stars for putting a stop to this. I promise you.
crossmyfingers
Shiny_Rock
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Sydney, I know this is hard but I think most all of us here agree that you are incredibly strong and have done the right thing. I know the holidays will be tough now, but you will heal and you will find someone honest who appreciates and loves you. Be honest with your parents and maybe they will try to see it from your point of view. Good luck with the future and remember that we are all here for you. 
Way to go - you are a very strong person!
One thing that sticks out to me is his comment about having "a problem with always wanting the attention/approval of other people, ie. be the "nice guy" and not disappoint." - What about being the "nice guy" to you, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with?
I echo the others who say to not give in and let him manipulate you...I''ve been there twice and it''s an easy trap to fall in. Stay strong - I''m sure your parents will be on your side.
One thing that sticks out to me is his comment about having "a problem with always wanting the attention/approval of other people, ie. be the "nice guy" and not disappoint." - What about being the "nice guy" to you, the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with?
I echo the others who say to not give in and let him manipulate you...I''ve been there twice and it''s an easy trap to fall in. Stay strong - I''m sure your parents will be on your side.
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