Am I Crazy or "Just" Addicted/Obsessed?

[VapidLapid]

"Because shoes and bags are something everyone buys, even poor people. You can only buy gems if you have excess money. (Probably excess money that you got by skipping the $1000 purses and shoes.)"

Oh dear, I do have a thing for Varda shoes, and now there is Cole Haan only half a block away in the other direction. Apparently I am crazy, addicted and obsessed. and it's not only gems

 

[pregcurious]

How cool would if be if we all lived fairly near to each other and could meet in a safe place and play with each others gems!

I would love this. I would learn so much seeing so many stones in person. It's hard to find good colored stones in jewelry stores to learn from before purchasing.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi,

I also went a bit amuck when I began buying gemstones back in 2004-2005. I found pricescope and learned that many of the gems I was sold were not as good as I thought they were. I felt quite deceived and stopped buying any. Around 2010 a few gems sort of fell in my lap, and I purchased these. I am very happoy with them. Later that yr I had another opportunity to purchase some colored diamonds that also worked out very well. But, I learned to be selective without chasing these gems around the world. Now, i let them come to me.
For me, I see purposful collecting as the way to go. Chrono, and Harriet are more they way I would want to be. I just wont spend the money that they do. LD and TL have their own way of collecting, but most people do not have the means to support collecting the way they do.

I think it is addicting, and while people may glorify the fact that these are from the earth, they were always considered a luxury item. While others may encourage you and it all makes you feel good, step back now and again, maybe now would be better, and make sure you put those children and yourself first. Those babbles may be pretty, but they won't keep food on the table or pay the electric bill. So, there is nothing wrong with enjoying gems and jewels, but be careful. The adreneline rush you feel is no different then the shopoholic. I truly wish a lot of people on here would think of it. This is like one big advertiseing campaign. It does work on you.

This is a support group and I love gemstones as well, but I now know my limits. Hope you find a job.

Annette

 

[LD]

Hi,

I also went a bit amuck when I began buying gemstones back in 2004-2005. I found pricescope and learned that many of the gems I was sold were not as good as I thought they were. I felt quite deceived and stopped buying any. Around 2010 a few gems sort of fell in my lap, and I purchased these. I am very happoy with them. Later that yr I had another opportunity to purchase some colored diamonds that also worked out very well. But, I learned to be selective without chasing these gems around the world. Now, i let them come to me.
For me, I see purposful collecting as the way to go. Chrono, and Harriet are more they way I would want to be. I just wont spend the money that they do. LD and TL have their own way of collecting, but most people do not have the means to support collecting the way they do.
I think it is addicting, and while people may glorify the fact that these are from the earth, they were always considered a luxury item. While others may encourage you and it all makes you feel good, step back now and again, maybe now would be better, and make sure you put those children and yourself first. Those babbles may be pretty, but they won't keep food on the table or pay the electric bill. So, there is nothing wrong with enjoying gems and jewels, but be careful. The adreneline rush you feel is no different then the shopoholic. I truly wish a lot of people on here would think of it. This is like one big advertiseing campaign. It does work on you.

This is a support group and I love gemstones as well, but I now know my limits. Hope you find a job.

Annette

Annette - it's very interesting how people form perceptions from what they see! Last year I think I bought about 6 gems - probably less than most people! I would hazzard a guess that TL is probably the same.

 

[smitcompton]

Hi LD,

You are right, perceptions can be wrong. I'm rather glad I'm wrong. because I think people should be more discerning about their purchases and do look to you guys as examples of collecting gems. As I pushed the submit button, I remembered too late I also wanted to point out how the colored stone vendors have also contributed to a frenzy of buying. They have drops and God forbid you don't get something in the drop.

Enjoy this, I do. For some of you, I say slow down. For our OP, I say be wise. Your children and you come first.

Annette

 

[LD]

I can only speak personally but I've been collecting for over 20 years and what you "see" is an accumulation of years of fun (all bought with hard earned cash when I've been able to afford to do so). The perception you've expressed is one of the reasons that I asked for my collection thread to be removed as I realised how it might "look". Nowadays, I would rather do different things with any spare cash and only occasionally buy gemstones/jewellery. Funnily enough, a few weeks ago I bought two gemstones that are now lost in the post. Years ago I would have been dreadfully upset and now I'm "oh well, it's not meant to be, I'll be refunded"!!!

I don't believe that vendors actively encourage buying - that's something that seems to have occurred over time. For example, look at Barry. His drops are phenomenally popular (I don't partake as I prefer to take my time when buying) but he never posts on here. Gene, Barry and a number of others have also pointed me away from gemstones knowing I wouldn't be happy - despite selling gemstones as a living. I'm not sure how many professions would do the same!

I understand your point and people should think carefully before buying BUT at the end of the day, I'm a firm believer that we're all adults and should make our own decisions and mistakes. The thing to hope for is that we learn from our mistakes!

 

[Pandora II]

I think PS can be dangerous if you have an impulsive or addictive personality...

I've watched people arrive here and in the space of a couple of months attempt to buy enough stones to form a decent collection, not realising that many of those who show or talk about their collections have been working on them steadily for many years and learning along the way, and also try to buy top examples of some of the more expensive varieties.

I think that can affect other people's need to buy. The ooohs and aaahhhs surrounding a new purchase can also be an influence. However I wouldn't blame any of the vendors - that's like blaming designers for designing heels or a line of handbags - plus it's their livelihood.

It's quite possible to build a nice but reasonably affordable collection of great stones as long as you don't try to achieve it in a short amount of time.

I started out with minerals that I dug out of mine dumps and cliffs myself and gradually started saving my pocket money to buy stones instead of sweeties - just chunks of tiger's eye and other polished pebbles but to me they were like diamonds. As I started earning I started buying more expensive stones - maybe $10 - $20 a time... I bought a lot of crap and a few nice things that way. I was lucky to have encouragement from my father and a shelf of gemmology classics in terms of text books.

TL, LD, Harriet and I also tend to spend a lot of time on the search and rarely resell. I'm endlessly suprised at how many people here buy a stone only to turn round and sell it a couple of months or even weeks later. There's nothing wrong with doing that and why have a stone you don't like sitting around when you could use the money to buy one you like more or spend it on other things, but it's not how my mind works so I find it intriguing.

Gemstones come a long way down my essentials list, but I don't drink, don't smoke, rarely eat out, buy most of my clothes on eBay (I have expensive tastes but won't pay the prices ) and so they are my only vice. Since I stopped working to look after my daughter I have added very few stones to my 'collection' and only a few to my study collection.

 

[T L]

Hi LD,

You are right, perceptions can be wrong. I'm rather glad I'm wrong. because I think people should be more discerning about their purchases and do look to you guys as examples of collecting gems. As I pushed the submit button, I remembered too late I also wanted to point out how the colored stone vendors have also contributed to a frenzy of buying. They have drops and God forbid you don't get something in the drop.

Enjoy this, I do. For some of you, I say slow down. For our OP, I say be wise. Your children and you come first.

Annette

Annette,
I don't pay any attention to the drops.

 

[T L]

If a person has a problem putting food on the table because they can't get "that wonderful gem," then there's a problem.

After collecting for over 20 years, I think I have a reasonable expectation of what is a fair price on a particular gem. I personally do not like overspending, but what people feel is 'overspending' is subjective.

I really hate reselling or being disappointed, so here is my general advice to anyone who loves this hobby.

1) Always buy from vendors with very good return policies
2) Always buy from vendors that have accurate photography
3) Always buy from vendors that are honest and accurate about your questions with hue, tone and saturation in a variety of light sources
4) Study up on the particular gem species that you are interested in purchasing, in particular treatments that can devalue the gem
5) Research comparative prices for a similar gem

 

[ooo~Shiney!]

MB !!!! I just read this thread !!!
Have been on a bit of a lurking spell lately.
It seems that my contributions amounted to simply
too many "Atta-Persons !!!!" and "Love Thats !!!!"
to matter much around here....
And I got tired of myself.

I am so sorry to hear about your job!
The last time that happened to me, I painted the whole inside of my house!
Planted a beautiful Perennial / Herb garden!
Taught myself to play the flute!

And then I got another job.

Use your time for things you like to do for yourself, in addition to the job search.

I love to collect gemstones, and rarely set them, it's a learning process
as I seek to improve my collection by thinking through my purchases.
College tuitions have to be paid, but hopefully one or two nice settings are in store for 2012.
Good luck to you and enjoy your "Matchmaking"
Don't leave us, ok?

 

[colorluvr]

It is interesting how everyone's situations are different. I have only been collecting/putting together jewelry for the last 5 years, but I've always loved jewelry and colored gemstones.

I'm not young, so I don't have all that long to enjoy my "stash" and after my mom passed away a little over a year ago, I started acquiring some more expensive stones and settings. I guess I just told myself that I don't have forever and this is what I enjoy. Like many others on here, it is my only expensive passion.

My husband's work requires us to relocate every couple of years, so even though we own a home in CA, we are forever destined (or at least it seems like forever) to be relocators/renters which means buying nice furniture or anything that can be damaged with constant moves will most likely be a waste of good money, so I have learned NOT to be a nester or spend much money on household items.

sooooo...... I started collecting gemstones (some ugly, some beautiful) and now I am getting some of them set in some nicer pieces. I took a look at a picture of my jewelry box I took about 3 yrs ago, and I have almost none of the same rings I had back then. My tastes have definitely gotten more expensive, but now instead of looking at the rings I put together as projects, I see most of them as keepers. However, I have no daughters, nor will I ever have grandchildren, so they are just for me.... until which time I can't enjoy them anymore and then they will get sold, but until then, I enjoy them.... I enjoy educating myself a bit about them and trying to get good photographs (even though that can be frustrating) and finding that perfect setting for that perfect (in my mind) stone.

I do however, enjoy selling some of the stones to others, hoping that they will get the same enjoyment I have, and I have even sold a few of my "keepers" to friends that were looking for a specific stone that I happened to have. I mostly loose, and never make money, but I do enjoy someone else getting a chance at a pretty gemstone.

 

[chrono]

If a person has a problem putting food on the table because they can't get "that wonderful gem," then there's a problem.

After collecting for over 20 years, I think I have a reasonable expectation of what is a fair price on a particular gem. I personally do not like overspending, but what people feel is 'overspending' is subjective.

I really hate reselling or being disappointed, so here is my general advice to anyone who loves this hobby.

1) Always buy from vendors with very good return policies
2) Always buy from vendors that have accurate photography
3) Always buy from vendors that are honest and accurate about your questions with hue, tone and saturation in a variety of light sources
4) Study up on the particular gem species that you are interested in purchasing, in particular treatments that can devalue the gem
5) Research comparative prices for a similar gem

And buy or don't keep a gemstone you aren't sure about. No point in keeping something you don't like but feel ackward about returning.

 

[pregcurious]

I think that while we are an enthusiastic bunch, there are many who give wise advice about stones, including negative observations, which help us avoid bad buys. I really appreciate the constructive criticism.