Are you resilient?

[missy]

A person has to be resilient. People who are not resilient go the way of the dinosaur.

Truth. Be resilient and thrive or give up and wither away. Not much of a choice when you look at it like that.

 

[missy]

I’m learning to be more and more resilient as tough situations allow me no other choice. I’m learning to choose resilience over resistance and happiness should follow. Yes, I’m happy and gratefu!

Glad you are feeling stronger and grateful and I agree. Resilience is a choice. A choice we have to make (sometimes) every single day.

 

[missy]

Great question, @missy!

1. ) Yes. I never forget anything bad or difficult, but learn from it and then move on and apply the new lessons in the future.
2.) Yes


I consciously take a step back from time to time and savour how lucky and happy I am : loving marriage to my soul mate, healthy and wonderful children, healthy hubby and myself, loyal friends ... The rest is gravy and we have our share: comfortable home, enough vacation, parachute pack in case of emergency. Would I like more money/bling/my size 4 back? Sure.. But then I'd have to make adjustments in other departments. So my priorites, my choice. I own it.

Easy to forget in the woes of everyday annoyances.

I feel the same way. Completely. No matter what life throws at us I am grateful to be doing it with my soulmate by my side. I draw strength and energy from him and I learn from him all the time. He is the most generous and loving and wise person I know. And I am super lucky to be going through life with him. The rest is gravy. We have shelter, food and love and good health. That's everything.

 

[luv2sparkle]

I think I am resilient. Happiness is fleeting and dependent upon circumstances. I am grateful and try to see the good and the blessings I have. Sometimes that is easier than others, but I always look for it. Keeps me sane.

 

[lyra]

1. Yes, but I feel it's more about Darwinism and less about personal choice in my case.
2. I try to remain neutral. I learned mindfulness as a coping mechanism, and taking that a step further, it's best to roll with the good and bad times not rocking the boat too much either way. Kind of like a more zen approach. Day by day.

 

[Austina]

Yes and yes. Life and circumstances have made me resilient, and I definitely feel that life is good ATM and I’m happy with my lot.

 

[missy]

I love this quote by Nelson Mandela.

“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

And this quote by Margaret Thatcher.

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

 

[missy]

1. Yes, but I feel it's more about Darwinism and less about personal choice in my case.
2. I try to remain neutral. I learned mindfulness as a coping mechanism, and taking that a step further, it's best to roll with the good and bad times not rocking the boat too much either way. Kind of like a more zen approach. Day by day.

Yes I completely agree. One day at a time and just go with the good and bad times as best you can. We cannot control so much in our lives but we can control how we react to adversity and challenges. It's our reaction that counts and how we deal with adversity. Everyone has challenges in life but what we do with it is what matters.

 

[missy]

Yes and yes. Life and circumstances have made me resilient, and I definitely feel that life is good ATM and I’m happy with my lot.

You deserve all the best in life @Austina. And you have a good head on your shoulders. Wise and kind. A wonderful combo.

 

[missy]

I think I am resilient. Happiness is fleeting and dependent upon circumstances. I am grateful and try to see the good and the blessings I have. Sometimes that is easier than others, but I always look for it. Keeps me sane.

Yes for sure. Gratitude goes a long way in making life sweet.

 

[Jambalaya]

Are we accurate judges of whether we're resilient or not? I'm not even really sure how to define resilience. Perhaps it means slightly different things to different people. As I just posted in another thread, I knew someone I thought was amazingly resilient, but he'd buried his feelings rather than facing them.

I'm not sure if resilience and happiness are connected. I mean, if you're going through a tough time - which is when you need resilience - by definition you're not going to be happy during that time.

I don't think I'm very resilient and would love to be more so. I completely fell apart when my mother died a few years ago, and I also haven't responded very well to being home alone a lot during the pandemic. I also feel that I've minded too much when I once experienced a brutal ghosting. However, perhaps resilience is a matter of practice, and those things hurt all the more because they were new experiences to me. I had never been bereaved of an immediate family member or ghosted so utterly and out of the blue (as opposed to the slow fade we've probably all experienced.)

Maybe that should be my resolution for next year - practice resilience!

Perhaps the more resilient among us would like to share? How do you manage your feelings and carry on in an effective way when a major emotional event occurs in your life, such as a major loss, which could be a person, a pet, a friendship, or a good job? I mean, anything that was really and truly dear to you? I'm more of a pajamas-and-binge kind of coper, and would love to be better.

 

[Karl_K]

Don't bounce back like I once did so just throw it in the f-it bucket and go on.
What is this happy thing I hear about?
I think its that thing that lasts for 10 minutes before something else goes wrong.

 

[MRBXXXFVVS1]

I'm suuuuper resilient and have incredible self-discipline, but definitely not happy during this time of resilience. Unfortunately for me, my happiness depends on external experiences (I recognize this is not good, but it's not easy to change how I'm wired). Sigh.

 

[GliderPoss]

Yes to both, have always felt immense gratitude for my situation in life no matter the challenge. Only need to watch the news to see how blessed I am in Oz.

 

[missy]

I don't think we find out just how resilient we are until we face true hardship and challenge.

For some lucky people that has not yet been their experience but for others we know just how resilient we are.
It is easy to think one is resilient when things go our way of course. But the true test is how do we do, how do we feel, during scary and uncertain times. And to that I say, one doesn't know just how strong one is until we have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other.

Regardless of how we are feeling, how overwhelmed we are, and how much we just want to sit and cry. No, we just keep going. One step at a time. Sometimes it might feel as if we are going backwards but as long as we keep on going, yes, that is being resilient. IMO.

Life doesn't generally get easier but we get stronger and more resilient and able to manage the tough times better.
Success is not final and failure is not the end. It is the strength to continue that matters.
We all experience failure and worry and doubt. Continuing on in spite of them is what makes us resilient.

 

[mellowyellowgirl]

1. Nooooo not at all. I'm a drama llama and control freak so everything is running well right now because it's under control. I suspect I'd lose it completely if things become a sh$t show.

2. Yes very much so. When I was little and my life was crap I had this weird obsession with horoscopes and fortune telling. I think I was constantly hoping it would improve. I love my life now so avoid horoscopes and fortune telling like the plague cuz the only way is down from here and I don't want to know about it!

 

[missy]

I think these challenging times can prove just how resilient one is