Are you satisfied with your appearance?

[mary poppins]

Those pictures are hilarious.

This is the real life Barbie, Valeria Lukynova:

http://en.rocketnews24.com/2014/03/08/real-life-barbie-now-survives-on-light-and-air-might-be-turning-into-a-real-doll%E3%80%90photos%E3%80%91/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valeria_Lukyanova

And here's Barbie meeting Ken for the first time: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2272066/Real-life-Barbie-Ken-Valeria-Lukyanova-Justin-Jedlica-meet-hate-sight-other.html

She has videos on YouTube.

 

[momhappy]

^Yes, I've seen her before too. I thought it was interesting in one of the articles about her that talked about how she maintains her "enviable" waistline. What's enviable about it? I'm thin with a fairly large chest and nice hips, but even I don't find her proportions enviable because she looks too manufactured for me. I'm fine if someone chooses to have a little nip and tuck here and there, but to transform yourself into a doll is probably an indication of some issues (which is also made obvious by the fact that she claims to survive on a strict work out routine and liquid diet).

 

[ForteKitty]

I played with Barbies, and it never warped my mind. It's a plastic toy, and I knew that from the beginning. I also played with GI Joes, Voltron, and Transformers, and I don't expect men to look like GI Joe. I do sometimes wish my cars would turn into Transformers, though.

It's easy to blame dolls for girls'/women's insecurities, but I don't think it's fair. Little comments here and there from an older female in the family may cause more damage than that doll. How many times do you think a little girl might overhear her mother or an aunt, or even grandma say, "I'm getting fat, I can't fit into this dress/jeans/pants anymore", or "look at these wrinkles/grey hairs", or "I can't eat that, I'm on a diet"? Words are more powerful than toys.

My mom was very good about not expressing any displeasure about her physical appearance, and I think I grew up to be pretty well balanced. There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, younger, with bigger boobs, and it's okay. I'm happy with the way I look, but probably a little too positive considering my dresses won't zip up anymore and it doesn't even phase me.

 

[Sky56]

kenny - This is great what you wrote:

"Once in a while I'll see a woman who has not been suckered into all this shit.
She's the most beautiful of all IMO.
But as a gay man I don't fall for any of the illusion.
Lots of lesbians don't play."

I've met very few women like myself. I buy shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer and soap and that is all. No make-up, no nail products, perfume, no beauty products at all. Clothing and shoes are always practical. I feel I look beautiful, naturally, and I get lots of compliments on my looks. I am not a "beauty," just in the "average-attractive" spectrum, and I have no complaints about my body.

I am not anti-shopping and the pleasures of materialism - I love computers, cars, jewelry, antiques...shopping in general. But in many ways, I am more like a man than a woman. I cannot imagine putting makeup on my face, wanting to paint my nails, or wearing heels! I surprise people with my "guy habits" because I am very feminine.

 

[missy]

I played with Barbies, and it never warped my mind. It's a plastic toy, and I knew that from the beginning. I also played with GI Joes, Voltron, and Transformers, and I don't expect men to look like GI Joe. I do sometimes wish my cars would turn into Transformers, though.

It's easy to blame dolls for girls'/women's insecurities, but I don't think it's fair. Little comments here and there from an older female in the family may cause more damage than that doll. How many times do you think a little girl might overhear her mother or an aunt, or even grandma say, "I'm getting fat, I can't fit into this dress/jeans/pants anymore", or "look at these wrinkles/grey hairs", or "I can't eat that, I'm on a diet"? Words are more powerful than toys.

My mom was very good about not expressing any displeasure about her physical appearance, and I think I grew up to be pretty well balanced. There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, younger, with bigger boobs, and it's okay. I'm happy with the way I look, but probably a little too positive considering my dresses won't zip up anymore and it doesn't even phase me.

I agree. And love the last part especially lol. Good for you. Strong sense of self and self confidence and don't change that...as Billy Joel said (paraphrasing a bit) you are perfect just the way you are!

 

[momhappy]

I played with Barbies, and it never warped my mind. It's a plastic toy, and I knew that from the beginning. I also played with GI Joes, Voltron, and Transformers, and I don't expect men to look like GI Joe. I do sometimes wish my cars would turn into Transformers, though.

It's easy to blame dolls for girls'/women's insecurities, but I don't think it's fair. Little comments here and there from an older female in the family may cause more damage than that doll. How many times do you think a little girl might overhear her mother or an aunt, or even grandma say, "I'm getting fat, I can't fit into this dress/jeans/pants anymore", or "look at these wrinkles/grey hairs", or "I can't eat that, I'm on a diet"? Words are more powerful than toys.

My mom was very good about not expressing any displeasure about her physical appearance, and I think I grew up to be pretty well balanced. There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, younger, with bigger boobs, and it's okay. I'm happy with the way I look, but probably a little too positive considering my dresses won't zip up anymore and it doesn't even phase me.

No one was blaming dolls entirely for their body image issues/insecurity. I feel that Barbie offers young girls an unhealthy/unrealistic image that can contribute to feelings of insecurity. I agree that words/messages can be hurtful too, but to say that one is more powerful than the other wouldn't be fair either (because it really depends on any number of factors).

 

[packrat]

I had Barbie's. And Jem dolls....oh how I love Aja and her blue hair. They didn't do anything to my perception of myself. The kids at school who never accepted me and called me weird and ugly and strange and made fun of my clothes...I'd look there before Barbie. Jem/Holograms/Misfits, if nothing else, pushed me towards dressing a little different and doing crazy stuff w/my hair and jewelry.

My brother and I played Barbie meets Transformers or My Little Pony meets Transformers a lot. They had picnics and the Insecticons were always saving them from whatever crazy mischief they'd gotten into. Silly ponies.

 

[momhappy]

I don't think that any one of us could determine with complete accuracy a single variable that has impacted our body image/self-esteem. There are so many factors (dolls, media, childhood bullying, negative remarks made by mom, etc.) and so many ways that those factors are received and/or processed by the receiver. In other words, what's damaging to oner person, may not be for another. I think that it's very likely that we are affected by any combination of factors throughout our lives.

 

[monarch64]

Packie, did you hear they're making Jem into a movie?! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/04/24/jem-movie-cast_n_5207370.html I don't know any of those actors, but I think it will be great!

I also played with Barbies but don't remember thinking I was supposed to look like them, consciously or not. My issues back then came from human factors like my mother and my classmates. Making your 12 year old daughter try on clothes you wore as a 20-something in the 1960s and frowning a lot because they don't fit is not cool. Using your old measurements to compare against hers, also not cool. I was given subscriptions to Vogue and Seventeen at that age as well, and wow did I think those were full of ideals. I'd say nearly half of my friends in dance classes and high school had full blown eating disorders. Young Adult lit was full of stories about EDs and those became pro-ana how-to's. Are Barbies a contributing factor, a piece of the puzzle? Sure, but time spent playing Barbies was a fraction of all the time spent with other people and factors, and human comments have far greater impact. Words matter.

I still haven't lost the last 10 lbs of my pregnancy weight, 2 years later. I work out, I walk every single day, I eat well, but I've been lazy about just making it happen. You know what? I just don't care enough, to be honest, and sometimes I have felt guilty about that, like I should be able to force myself to feel bad enough to really kick into high gear and get that last bit of weight off. I can't do it, though, and for me that means my time in therapy at 17 years old worked. My women's studies courses helped. My decision to leave a spouse who was verbally abusive was spot on. I saw pictures of myself at a Derby party last weekend, and yes, I look a little larger than I used to, but I also look happy and HEALTHY. My skin glows, my hair is thick and long and shiny, gravity hasn't pulled anything down farther than it should be yet; I'm in the prime of my life!

 

[chrono]

I've met very few women like myself. I buy shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer and soap and that is all. No make-up, no nail products, perfume, no beauty products at all. Clothing and shoes are always practical. I feel I look beautiful, naturally, and I get lots of compliments on my looks. I am not a "beauty," just in the "average-attractive" spectrum, and I have no complaints about my body.

I am not anti-shopping and the pleasures of materialism - I love computers, cars, jewelry, antiques...shopping in general. But in many ways, I am more like a man than a woman. I cannot imagine putting makeup on my face, wanting to paint my nails, or wearing heels! I surprise people with my "guy habits" because I am very feminine.

Sky,
We are very much alike! I would love to meet you or someone like you in person. I don't do fancy fragranced soap or shampoo/conditioner. My clothes and shoes are also very practical; no high heels and fancy designs. No nail painting and no make-up (unless it is a special social outing that is expected such as weddings or work related dinner). I also do not consider myself ugly or beautiful; I'm just me. Sometimes my own DH teases me that he married a man.

 

[ForteKitty]

My brother and I played Barbie meets Transformers or My Little Pony meets Transformers a lot. They had picnics and the Insecticons were always saving them from whatever crazy mischief they'd gotten into. Silly ponies.

Mine did the same! Barbie was always riding around on He-Man's tiger, he was her favorite. Ken was rather useless. All he did was drive around in Barbie's car while everyone else was saving the world.

 

[LLJsmom]

Just saying...

When I saw Barbie dolls when I was a kid, I could not understand why Barbie looked like that. I did not know any women who had Barbie's figure, and I did not in any way resemble her, so I stayed away from Barbie as a child, my own conscious decision. It was off putting to me. Maybe it had something to do with being Asian. I could not relate, and my impression was that I was supposed to. I knew I would feel badly if I kept playing with them, so I threw my Barbie away. I think I was 8. I also thought how unhealthy it was for Barbie to have such a thin waist. Did she have a stomach? Did she put her food in her boobs?

 

[ForteKitty]

Just saying...

When I saw Barbie dolls when I was a kid, I could not understand why Barbie looked like that. I did not know any women who had Barbie's figure, and I did not in any way resemble her, so I stayed away from Barbie as a child, my own conscious decision. It was off putting to me. Maybe it had something to do with being Asian. I could not relate, and my impression was that I was supposed to. I knew I would feel badly if I kept playing with them, so I threw my Barbie away. I think I was 8. I also thought how unhealthy it was for Barbie to have such a thin waist. Did she have a stomach? Did she put her food in her boobs?

What does being Asian have to do with anything? I'm Asian, and I never thought for a moment that real women were supposed to look like Barbie. I'm not being snarky, just trying to find out why you think being Asian made a difference. Was it because she was blonde as well? Or was it just the physical proportions?

I didn't have an issue with Barbie, but I remember asking my mom why Ken didn't have anything down there. I used to read my mom's anatomy books so I knew there was supposed to be something there, and she told me that he had an unfortunate accident when mean girls beat him up. That's why we're not supposed to kick boys down there.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I've met very few women like myself. I buy shampoo, conditioner, moisturizer and soap and that is all. No make-up, no nail products, perfume, no beauty products at all. Clothing and shoes are always practical. I feel I look beautiful, naturally, and I get lots of compliments on my looks. I am not a "beauty," just in the "average-attractive" spectrum, and I have no complaints about my body.

I am not anti-shopping and the pleasures of materialism - I love computers, cars, jewelry, antiques...shopping in general. But in many ways, I am more like a man than a woman. I cannot imagine putting makeup on my face, wanting to paint my nails, or wearing heels! I surprise people with my "guy habits" because I am very feminine.

Sky,
We are very much alike! I would love to meet you or someone like you in person. I don't do fancy fragranced soap or shampoo/conditioner. My clothes and shoes are also very practical; no high heels and fancy designs. No nail painting and no make-up (unless it is a special social outing that is expected such as weddings or work related dinner). I also do not consider myself ugly or beautiful; I'm just me. Sometimes my own DH teases me that he married a man.

Yup!, your my wife!...

 

[monarch64]

LLJ, I always wondered why Ken had built in underwear. And I felt sorry for the Barbies because their arms wouldn't bend at the elbow and their feet were permanently in high heel position. Mostly I just liked their fashion. I had the two on the left, oh man was I in 80's heaven.

 

[Dancing Fire]

I
My mom was very good about not expressing any displeasure about her physical appearance, and I think I grew up to be pretty well balanced. There will always be someone prettier, thinner, taller, younger, with bigger boobs, and it's okay. I'm happy with the way I look, but probably a little too positive considering my dresses won't zip up anymore and it doesn't even phase me.

FK
Yup, you look fine to me!...

 

[Sky56]

Chrono Thanks!

I played with dolls as a kid, had a Barbie among them. My favorite "dolls" were stuffed animals.

I don't feel dolls affected me much, they weren't my favorite toys, though my troll and stuffed cat collection were treasured. Pinball machines, now those were my favorite toys though I didn't own one. ...and playing in my mother's jewelry box, of course.

I think the culprit lies in the complex mix of marketing, societal pressure, interpersonal relationships, schools, bullying and more.

I personally noticed that the most pressure came from other girls and women. Nothing like being told your looks are inadequate or that you are ugly to cause you to question your looks or hate your body. Honestly, I think those people are evil or at the least, their parents didn't teach them the magic of the Golden Rule. Don't buy into it. As my husband's favorite saying goes, "You are perfect just the way you are."

I do think it is best to try to look the best you can, and attempt to achieve optimum health...and a lot of beauty comes from within - having a beautiful spirit...and eating beautiful food (luscious, tasty fruits and vegetables every day in big quantities). "Beauty from within" might be a trite saying, but a beautiful spirit and stellar nutrition percolate out to create that beautiful glow.

I never found make-up to look beautiful. I just see it as "face paint." I honestly don't get the appeal, except the artfully applied natural-looking products which cover problem areas or unattractive skin flaws.

 

[LLJsmom]

Just saying...

When I saw Barbie dolls when I was a kid, I could not understand why Barbie looked like that. I did not know any women who had Barbie's figure, and I did not in any way resemble her, so I stayed away from Barbie as a child, my own conscious decision. It was off putting to me. Maybe it had something to do with being Asian. I could not relate, and my impression was that I was supposed to. I knew I would feel badly if I kept playing with them, so I threw my Barbie away. I think I was 8. I also thought how unhealthy it was for Barbie to have such a thin waist. Did she have a stomach? Did she put her food in her boobs?

What does being Asian have to do with anything? I'm Asian, and I never thought for a moment that real women were supposed to look like Barbie. I'm not being snarky, just trying to find out why you think being Asian made a difference. Was it because she was blonde as well? Or was it just the physical proportions?

I didn't have an issue with Barbie, but I remember asking my mom why Ken didn't have anything down there. I used to read my mom's anatomy books so I knew there was supposed to be something there, and she told me that he had an unfortunate accident when mean girls beat him up. That's why we're not supposed to kick boys down there.

ForteKitty, I didn't say that it was an issue for anyone but ME. And since you ask, I felt that I did not resemble Barbie, so I could not relate. That is MY personal feeling and MY experience. If you did not experience those feelings, great. And as to how? I did not have blonde hair, and I did not have a figure like that. I wasn't that tall and I knew I never would be. My feet were permanently tippy-toed. For ME to do imaginary play with a doll, I would need to relate to the doll. And one of the ways I related was how the doll looked like compared to me. There weren't many Asian dolls out there so that is probably why I NEVER played with dolls, just lots of Legos and house.

 

[packrat]

Monnie, yes I did see they're making a Jem movie! I'm excited but yet...I feel they'll screw it up. I was so excited to see the Dragonlance movie and it blew. Can you actually be TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS onscreen if you did not play w/these dolls back in the day?

JD won't go to it, I'm pretty sure, buuuuut my brother is awesome, totally into our childhood stuff, and I'm quite certain he'll be on board hahahahaha!

 

[monarch64]

Monnie, yes I did see they're making a Jem movie! I'm excited but yet...I feel they'll screw it up. I was so excited to see the Dragonlance movie and it blew. Can you actually be TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS onscreen if you did not play w/these dolls back in the day?

JD won't go to it, I'm pretty sure, buuuuut my brother is awesome, totally into our childhood stuff, and I'm quite certain he'll be on board hahahahaha!

Well, it definitely won't be the same, and probably not TRULY outrageous, but it will be fun to reminisce. I never watched the new Miami vice movie for that reason--I didn't want to see Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas played by anyone else, it would just ruin it for me. Holy shit, we're old. That's so cool your bro will go see Jem with you! I think mine would go too if I asked him, we had so much fun with all that 80s stuff. I used to be so pissed because he was 4 years older and was allowed to watch Purple Rain and I couldn't.

 

[packrat]

Monnie, yes I did see they're making a Jem movie! I'm excited but yet...I feel they'll screw it up. I was so excited to see the Dragonlance movie and it blew. Can you actually be TRULY TRULY OUTRAGEOUS onscreen if you did not play w/these dolls back in the day?

JD won't go to it, I'm pretty sure, buuuuut my brother is awesome, totally into our childhood stuff, and I'm quite certain he'll be on board hahahahaha!

Well, it definitely won't be the same, and probably not TRULY outrageous, but it will be fun to reminisce. I never watched the new Miami vice movie for that reason--I didn't want to see Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas played by anyone else, it would just ruin it for me. Holy shit, we're old. That's so cool your bro will go see Jem with you! I think mine would go too if I asked him, we had so much fun with all that 80s stuff. I used to be so pissed because he was 4 years older and was allowed to watch Purple Rain and I couldn't.

There's a Miami Vice movie? I'm so lame and out of the loop. Loved that show soooo much! Yeah, he's a good brother. He got me a season of Jem on dvd a couple years ago and last year he got me Three's Company. One year the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon we used to watch and love when we were younger. He's totally into reminiscing!

 

[momhappy]

Just saying...

When I saw Barbie dolls when I was a kid, I could not understand why Barbie looked like that. I did not know any women who had Barbie's figure, and I did not in any way resemble her, so I stayed away from Barbie as a child, my own conscious decision. It was off putting to me. Maybe it had something to do with being Asian. I could not relate, and my impression was that I was supposed to. I knew I would feel badly if I kept playing with them, so I threw my Barbie away. I think I was 8. I also thought how unhealthy it was for Barbie to have such a thin waist. Did she have a stomach? Did she put her food in her boobs?

What does being Asian have to do with anything? I'm Asian, and I never thought for a moment that real women were supposed to look like Barbie. I'm not being snarky, just trying to find out why you think being Asian made a difference. Was it because she was blonde as well? Or was it just the physical proportions?

I didn't have an issue with Barbie, but I remember asking my mom why Ken didn't have anything down there. I used to read my mom's anatomy books so I knew there was supposed to be something there, and she told me that he had an unfortunate accident when mean girls beat him up. That's why we're not supposed to kick boys down there.

ForteKitty, I didn't say that it was an issue for anyone but ME. And since you ask, I felt that I did not resemble Barbie, so I could not relate. That is MY personal feeling and MY experience. If you did not experience those feelings, great. And as to how? I did not have blonde hair, and I did not have a figure like that. I wasn't that tall and I knew I never would be. My feet were permanently tippy-toed. For ME to do imaginary play with a doll, I would need to relate to the doll. And one of the ways I related was how the doll looked like compared to me. There weren't many Asian dolls out there so that is probably why I NEVER played with dolls, just lots of Legos and house.

It's interesting that you say this, LLJsmom (and I'm glad that you posted this) because as I was reading through some of the responses about Barbie (and the doll's role on body image, self-esteem, etc.), I wondered if maybe one's own physical appearance/attributes played a role? I tried to post something about it earlier, but had difficulty putting it into words. I wondered if maybe the dolls had a greater impact on those who shared similar physical characteristics to the doll (making Barbie's "look" seemingly more attainable to some)? In other words, I have always been thin, fairly large-chested, with long blonde hair, etc. and not that I wanted to grow up and look just like Barbie, but her appearance appealed to me because I could relate to it on some levels. It was a level of perfection that didn't seem that far off-base or at least, that's what I thought when I was young. Now that I am older (and wiser ), I realize just how unattainable it would be to look like Barbie and that it's not something that I would even desire (knowing her distorted proportions, etc.). I am forever chasing a certain level of beauty it seems and yes, I do blame Barbie for some to it. However, as I mentioned earlier, I also blame other factors (like the media, childhood bullying, etc.).

 

[soxfan]

Yep. I'm a total milf. I could stand to lose a few pounds around the mid-section, though. I've gone from a size 4 to a 6 since we sold the house. Been back on track for 2 weeks, and keeping it up.....

 

[ForteKitty]

momhappy, I thought of the same thing earlier and like you, couldn't find the right words. For me personally, I saw Barbie as a pretty doll, but was something that is never going to be real. Just like my Voltron,Transformers, and Rainbow Bright dolls. I can see how a little blonde girl with blue eyes might see Barbie and think she will look like her one day, and be very disappointed when she realizes it's not physically possible. Or worse, if she thinks that "If I can lose just 5 more pounds, I can look like Barbie", or "If I just enhance this or that part of my face/boobs/ribs, I will look like Barbie."

I never saw mine as a physical aspiration. Mine was a soldier and a scorcerer and she was badass because she can kick real high with those long legs. Even her bent and normally useless arm came in handy during an escape. If you guys never tried, it works great when she needs to slide down a long rope to get out of an exploding castle.

 

[Autumnovember]

I just got off a high dose of prednisone that I was taking for almost 2.5 months and WOW, it sure made me self conscious.

My cheeks blew up like a puffer fish within the first week of taking the medication. At first I didn't mind it but as the weeks progressed it bothered me more and more. I constantly felt like I needed to explain to everyone why my face looked so fat. I couldn't stand hanging around or seeing people I knew. My patients would come in for treatment and again, I'd find myself explaining that no, I didn't just gain 30 lbs in my face overnight. I couldn't even stand to look in the mirror anymore towards the end of the 2.5 months. I knew that in the grand scheme of things, especially concerning my health, that the stupid fat cheeks weren't a big deal but it still killed me to look at myself. I was eating like a horse and thankfully only gained 5 lbs during the course of my treatment.

I actually never really realized JUST how much our physical appearance influences so many other areas of our lives especially the emotional aspect.

If I woke up in a perfect world tomorrow, I'd be 5-10 lbs thinner, I'd have longer legs, and I wouldn't have chunky fingers. I can lose the weight if I really want to but my short legs and chunky fingers are here to stay and I think I'm ok with that

 

[NOYFB]

I just wanted to interject to say that I am loving this discussion and am glad everyone is still participating. All of these responses really help me understand that I am not alone in my thoughts/obsessions. Thank you, and please keep responding.


To add: I had a few Barbies but always thought she looked unrealistic because I never saw a woman IRL that looked like that, so I know my body issues didn't start there.

That real life Barbie and Ken really freak me out.

 

[Dancing Fire]

No, b/c I used to able to touch my keens with my forehead, do the split and put my palms on the floor w/o bending my keens, then comes the extra thick girdle...

 

[NOYFB]

Have you all seen this? This woman is an inspiration!
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/14/embrace-taryn-brumfitt_n_5318178.html?ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000037&ir=Parents