ARGH! We''re Thinking About a House!

[Tybee]

I''m really thinking about MelissaSue right now!

We''re really seriously thinking about a house. We''ve looked at it before, and are going to look at it again today.
Ideally, we wait a year before doing this thing, but who knows what the market will be like in a year, interest rates etc.
Anyhoooo, if we do make an offer on this house, down payment would be borrowed from FMIL, and closing costs would come
out of our honeymoon fund (oh no!)

We really shouldn''t be doing this right now, but in some ways it seems perfect. One of my biggest complaints about registering was that our tiny house couldn''t hold any of that stuff, but with a brand new kitchen, etc. we''d be thrilled to have new bowls and stuff.

I''d HATE to forgo our honeymoon, but I''d hate to miss out on this super cute house in a charming neighborhood.
Just thought I''d vent this here, as you all are such great "listeners."

Anyone else feel like this stuff is tumbling down so quickly?

 

[Mara]

I would strongly advise against letting the FMIL do the down payment gal...even if it means you only do something like 5% to get into a house then you can refi later when you have more $$ for more equity or something...

Seriously I know too many people who got in this way and depending on the family, it can really put you in a sticky situation moving fwd. Let me just say I'd rather rent for life than be mentally indebted to anyone regarding something as personal as 'our house'...period. Not even my parents.

I think it's different if I was 21 and single and my parents were helping me get into my 1 bedroom condo or something, but for me when you are getting married it's time to cut the umbilical cord...and show that you are adults who can function on your own without help from the parents. If a gift is coming, have it be something like like new appliances or something....or even a new car..because it's alot harder for parents to hold something like that over your head later than 'I helped you get into your house, so you owe me'.

 

[Tybee]

Very interesting point, Mara, thanks for your thoughts.

Indeed the family debt is something to consider. AND a frightening thing to consider!!

With all of our current financial planning (a weekend full of spread sheets!) We''ve planned a pay-back schedule
into our future spending. So we would be paying monthly payments back to her.

It is pretty scary, but the timing seems strangely right. She just came into some inhereted money from selling her parents
land. So we are borrowing off of a large chunk of money that she just came into.

We are going to look into just how low of a bid we can offer. The whole thing might end up being a non-issue. I''d hate
for us to dig ourselves any kind of hole, financial OR familial!

ugh. Scary!

 

[Tacori E-ring]

Many times the closer pays closing costs (at least in NC). I rather have a house than a honeymoon but that is just me. I love being a homeowner. But I think there are many ways to do both (80/20 loans, wrap in closing costs, taking a less expensive honeymoon...) Good luck!

 

[jaz464]

We thought we were going to buy a house in about 2 years. On Friday we went to look at a few model homes out of curiousity and now, we are quite sure that construction will begin on our new house in 2-3 months! I absolutely cannot believe it! We just loved the floorplan and then drove around and looked at all the lots and found a couple we would be happy building on.We already chose lots of the details (fireplace, patio doors, etc) and now things just need to be finalized. It's crazy! It is unexpected but we can swing it. Closing costs here in FL suck though. Ours will be around $20,000-$25,000. Here the buyer pays all of it. I am sooo excited though. Choosing colors, cabinets, hardwood floors, I can't wait!

 

[Tybee]

Oh Jazmine,

I am happy for you.

We are deep in discussion about whether or not we should do this. Right now we''re at no, but my heart keeps saying "yes." I''m a fool, and totally in love with this house right now. He''s online looking deeper into mortgage stuff.

Mara''s advice is so wise, though, and I keep going back to it. But there''s just such a desire to finally own a house and stop being renters! I think about my dogs too, if our landlords decide to sell this house that we''re in now (we''re month to month) it''s going to be just about impossible to find someone who''ll rent to us with two great danes! I actually can''t believe we got this house.

I''m suggesting that we just make a ridiculously low offer and see what happens. If it doesn''t work out, then it wasn''t meant to be.

How much do I love to obsess?

 

[Mara]

Tybee I firmly believe that what is meant to be will be...so make the low offer and see what happens. If it doesn't happen then it wasn't meant to be.

We bought right before we got married, about 6 months and people were like 'why don't you just wait til you get married'...we had to pull alot of strings to make it happen before the wedding (we were saving for the wedding and doing this at the same time so it was tough) but we did it on our own and now it feels even better 2 years later when we realize we made a great decision in terms of the house, the location, the appreciation, we just love it here and are so glad we didn't wait.

So if you can swing it then try it, but don't try to force it IMO...we were about to put a DP on another place and this house fell into our lap and it was the one we wanted desperately and right at our price range!! I definitely believe it was meant to be ours.

 

[Tybee]

Mara,
I cannot tell you how much I appreciate what you are saying.
I think we''re going to lowball it--and walk away if it doesn''t work out.
We''ll start looking again in another 6 months. If they take our offer--then it was meant to be.

I''ll let you all know.

 

[jaz464]

I agree with Mara. And I just love your dogs! I have loved Great Danes since I was a little girl. They are such gentle, regal dogs.

 

[MelissaSue]

Tybee --

It sounds like you really want it!! Definitely make an offer... even if it is a low one.. and Mara is right.. whatever is meant to be will be! We lost our house to another bidder and got it back.. It was TOTALLY meant to be ours.. So go for a low offer.. you never know what could happen. And honestly.. if after you make the offer..you may know if you want to go higher.. When we lost our house.. I was really heartbroken, even though I tried not to let on.. I knew that it would make me sad to drive by it fro the rest of my life knowing it wasn''t mine and could have been..

It took a LOT of convincing for me to agree to even consider buying a house. I REALLY wanted to live in a luxury apartment for a year or so after the wedding (no maintenance.. everything fresh and clean,, free pool and excersise room.. etc.. etc..).. but I''m so so so so glad he did.. Its so much more work than an apartment.. and we''re putting a lot more money into it off the bat (but we''re also puting it into something we own and not throwing it into rent)..but its ours.. and we LOVE it!

Care to share any pictures or a real estate listing?

 

[Mara]

Keep us posted!! I guess they say sometimes life happens when you are making other plans??!?

Home ownership is great, it can be stressful but it feels so good to be mentally invested in a place that is truly yours ...

 

[Tybee]

I honestly love you guys right now.

I didn''t know how emotional this would be.

It''s early. I''m up and getting ready for school. We were supposed to be sleeping on it last night. I''m still feeling ultra passionate.

I''ll let you know what we do.

MS, I''ll post a link to the real estate listing if things work out, otherwise I might be too sad!

Have a great Monday all. Thanks for your help!

Tybee

PS Jazmine--don''t get me started talking about my great danes! They are the sweetest girls in all the world!

 

[Mara]

Here''s a story on sleeping on it...

When we were looking we came across this new townhouse complex that was in an up and coming area, affordable and they had one unit available that was the largest with a really cool floorplan that only one of the other townhouses in the whole complex would have. It had great views of the water tower and other various cool items, and was a little secluded off to the corner so pretty private. It was also right at our max price range (for comfortability''s sake).

We put down the check on it for deposit and then came home to think about it. We had a week to back out and still get our money back. First Greg really loved it and was selling it to me. Then I really loved it and for a period of time we both really loved it and were convinced that this was it. It had a bunch of great elements, but it did have some things we werent totally jazzed about, aka stupid stuff like the master bedroom only had one sink and it had a small closet and the linen closet would only fit like 1/2 of my towel collection (I am a linen whore). Then we went through a period where Greg was unsure and I loved it and tried to sell him on it.

In the end I was like well if I can''t convince you then let''s just pull the money. Maybe it''s not right since we are having all these upheavels of emotion about the place and we certainly don''t want to make a mistake. So we pulled the money and I was afraid that someone else would just jump on it etc etc. It was available for about two more months!! They ended up having a really hard time selling it, so I guess we did the right thing.

Well we kept looking and a few weeks later is when our now-house kind of fell into our laps, the gal who was buying it fell out of financing and the owner/townhouse complex offered it to us for what SHE was paying which was about 40k under the last one that was sold, and gave us 15k in free upgrade amenities. We had all of 15 minutes of indecision, met with the gal the next morning, put our money down it, and we drove up here one night at midnight to see what the neighborhood was like at midnight etc...because it''s in a little bit of a transitional area, and then we were like omg yes we want it and that never wavered after that. It was just about excitement.

So definitely keep sleeping on it and talking it out with your fiance....and if in a few more days you both are still smitten then go for it!

I wanted to say also that me telling you my experience does not mean you have to have one just like it. I just remember how emotional all of this stuff was when we were looking, euphoric one day and scared the next...just go with the flow and if you have doubts, listen to your gut and talk things out. It''s a big decision but if you make the right one then you''ll be happy with the outcome regardless.

 

[BrightSpot]

Any updates, Tybee?

Also, a thought on your honeymoon. Since you''re having a destination wedding, could you just stay a few extra days at the resort where you''ll be wed to cut down on honeymoon costs if you wind up buying this house?

 

[gingerBcookie]

I totally under estimated howemotional it would be also. You get so excited and feel so anxious and wonder if you''re doing the right thing, too afraid to go fwd, but also afraid to walk away. I also believe in meant to be and sleeping on it. THe first townhome we fell in love with that we thought was sooooo perfect...slept on it for a few weeks, found our current home (which is way better) and decided to buy it instead. Few months later, the realtor told us our original townhome was having problems with the hardwood floors buckling

. Thank goodness we didn''t make rash decision or we would have been SOL!

 

[Tybee]

Thanks for your thoughts too Brightspot and Ginger.
No updates yet. We''re still checking on finances.
Things are actually looking brighter, like we overestimated closing costs etc.
Hmmmmm.
I''ll keep you all updated.
If we make an offer, I''ll post house pics, if not, I''ll let them fade
into my memory.

I don''t know why I didn''t realize I would be so emotional!

I''m totally always an emotional freak!

 

[Mara]

Also Tybee we used eloan.com and they were fabulous, got the same rates that local brokers were pulling for us AND you save hugely on closing costs, with a local broker it was going to be like $10k but with eLoan it was something like $3k because they don''t have the same pay structure that brokers do.

eLoan''s model is that they fund your loans themselves and then they turn around and sell the loans off to large banks in the local area. So the little $8k in closing costs they are giving up is nothing compared to what they sell the loan to a bank for (think interest!)....our loans were sold to two large reputable banks in our area, so we were very happy with the outcome. They also only sell to reputable banks I believe, not some fly by night bank.

I''d look into eLoan if nothing else just to get more info so you are more educated...we had 2 brokers doing some work for us and eLoan and they were more competitve OR at least as competitive each time AND the discount on the closing costs just clinched the deal. They also have everything ''online'' for you to access and see where your loan status is, it was super easy.

 

[flopkins]

tybee-
FI and I have been talking about buying a house too, and although we''re not as far as you... it''s a scary prospect to me... so much money and so much feels like it''s a stake!!

I have been house lusting though, recently every time I see a ''for sale'' sign up I instantly want to go check it out!!

 

[Tybee]

Ha Ha,
Flopkins, I find myself jogging through neighborhoods that I''m interested in and collecting flyers/peeking through windows of houses that are for sale.
I just finished running by the house we love.

We''re going to make an offer tomorrow, we''re going over the contract tonight. We''re offering a bit less than they were asking for...don''t know what will come of this!

Wish us luck.

 

[monarch64]

Good luck with your offer, Tybee! Welcome to the stress of the home buying experience, lol!

 

[BrightSpot]

Good luck with the offer, Tybee! Let us know how it goes. I''ll keep my fingers crossed for you.

 

[selflove]

Any update on your offer Tybee???

 

[Tybee]

Update:
They weren''t too pleased with our ridiculously low offer, and we weren''t too pleased with their counter offer.
They don''t seem to motivated to sell right now, so... We''ll submit one final offer tomorrow, which we feel certain
they won''t take, then we''ll move on.

The good news we''re already quite excited about a different house.
I''ll let you all know.

Tybee

 

[MelissaSue]

You never know!! They might accept the offer.. Or.. they might not..I''m glad you have another house on the horizon! After we "lost" our house there was nothing else even close and everything else we liked after ours was WAY more money..

 

[BrightSpot]

Tybee--keep us posted. I''m glad to hear you already have another promising option if the current house doesn''t work out for you guys. I can''t wait to see your house pics!

 

[Tybee]

They''ve made an offer that we''re happy with!!!!!!!!!
So, if the inspection and everything go well, then we''ve got ourselves A HOUSE!
I''ll post pics if it truly becomes OURS!
Thanks all for all of your support and good thoughts!
I feel like I''ve been so super busy spinning in circles that I haven''t had a chance to check
in with ya''ll.

Hurray! (not getting too excited yet

)

Tybee

 

[MelissaSue]

YAY!!!!!!!!! I''m so happy for you!!! I''m sure the inspection and everything will be great.. Are you SURE you can''t post pics?

 

[Mara]

Wow Tybee it''s happening so fast!! Congrats, keep us posted!

 

[BrightSpot]

That''s fantastic news, Tybee! Good luck with the buying process & keep us posted. Can''t wait to see pics of YOUR house!

 

[lovelylulu]

GOOD LUCK

GOOD VIBES