Bad news

[anchor31]

Amber, honey, ignore them. They don't know you and they don't understand your situation.

We the other LIWs all know you're sweet, loving and understanding, anything but greedy. You just want him to keep his promise, a promise he failed to keep once already, and it's not like you're insisting on a 2 ct diamond no matter what! You are being sensitive to your own need and his. I think that is wonderful. One of the most important thing in a relationship, if not the most important thing, is being able to do just that. Sacrificing your own happiness for the other or vice versa doesn't make you, or your partner, happy.

Women who manipulate their boyfriends into marriage or men who string their girlfriends along because they don't want to commit are insensistive, selfish jerks. NOT YOU.

And we know that not all men are "never ready" to get married. Our boyfriends do want to marry us and are even looking forward to it... It's usually only a question of logistics; money, school, jobs, that kind of thing. And it looks like things are looking up for you, Amber!

Keep us informed!

As for those who have nothing interesting to say... Go away!

ETA: Heh. Looks like albi and I posted the same thing at the same time! Don't let the muggles get you down, Amber!

 

[larussel03]

Date: 12/14/2005 4:03:53 PM
Author: opfreak
<from a guys point of view, doesn''t look like theres many here.

a) guys are rarely in a rush to do anything, and getting married, honestly, most guys would always wait.

b)we like to think theres a few things we can do on our OWN. geeez, cant we be a guy? we don''t like HELP.

c)this will sound harsh, heres a little sugar first. he was kind of jerky about the whole, i''ll give u a ring then, i promise line, and twice is bad. the 1st few posts i was totally behind you.

But

D) the harsh part.

you sound like its all about.
me memememememememem,
i want a ring, now, now, now, now
ring ring ring ring ring.

phhff.

let the guy be a guy, once he gets married he''ll never be able to do stuff ''alone'' or by himself again, yet all you see, is me, my ring, now.

I''m sorry but I have to disagree with this poster. I see nothing wrong with helping your bf pay for the ring to make getting the proposal faster. The ring is only the symbol of the proposal, what you want is the ACTUAL proposal and a little bling on the side to show you''re "taken". Maybe boys dont understand this, but we ladies sure do.

 

[larussel03]

Date: 12/14/2005 5:45:41 PM
Author: platinumrock

Date: 12/14/2005 4:03:53 PM
Author: opfreak
<from a guys point of view, doesn''t look like theres many here.

a) guys are rarely in a rush to do anything, and getting married, honestly, most guys would always wait.

b)we like to think theres a few things we can do on our OWN. geeez, cant we be a guy? we don''t like HELP.

c)this will sound harsh, heres a little sugar first. he was kind of jerky about the whole, i''ll give u a ring then, i promise line, and twice is bad. the 1st few posts i was totally behind you.

But

D) the harsh part.

you sound like its all about.
me memememememememem,
i want a ring, now, now, now, now
ring ring ring ring ring.

phhff.

let the guy be a guy, once he gets married he''ll never be able to do stuff ''alone'' or by himself again, yet all you see, is me, my ring, now.

LOL

The poor guy could have been crippled, but shame on him for squandering the ring fund to pay for the car accident. It''s all his fault.

and, excuse me, but both plat and the freak are not getting the point--this forum is for LIW to SUPPORT each other. We dont need other posters coming here for the purpose of starting trouble and upsetting us. Amber''s relationship is her own, and it''s impossible to make such judgements based on a forum. If you object, you can word it in a nicer way so that people will respect your opinion rather than be annoyed and put off by it. You get more bees with honey than vinegar, you know.

 

[princessv]

Amber, I haven''t been able to check on your thread in a few days but CONGRATS on your SO being so open!!

And ignore those guys. I''ve said it in another thread and I''ll say it again. MY fiance was just fine with me offering to pay for a large portion of my e-ring. The hurricane and moving (yes it really did cost 1k for 1 plane ticket to get from LA to VA) really wiped out his ring savings. We were both in a hurry to get engaged but obstacles come up in life and the same thing happened here. And you have picked some really beautiful settings, and I agree with someone who said that your title of the thread should be changed to Good News!

Make sure you keep us updated!

 

[E B]

Amber,

These guys obviously know you and your situation...I mean, you posted on a message board, right? It was as if they were there themselves!

Ignore them. They''re their girlfriend''s problems, not ours.

 

[Angel7]

You know what''s sad? I think PlatinumRock is a female?

 

[AmberWaves]

Thanks Albi, SweetPea, Anchor, PrincessV, EBree, and Angel!! When I told my bf what was being said, he told me not to worry about what "they" said. Water off my back. Also, he seems to be happier now because we''ve discussed it, and we''ve found a semi-solution to it. So we''re finally getting into the swing of things. His insurance is taken care of, the guy''s car will be taken care of (believe it, I am ALL over his bum on it). So we''re good. Thanks everyone for your help. Hee hee. Muggles. Ha ha ha.

You guys are so sweet and supportive.

 

[fire&ice]

As an aside regarding this issue, many states (mine included) have in Law that your vehicle must be insured. Failure to do so means loss of license & vehicle registration. In my state, they don''t mess around with this. They inforced it. So, everyone check your state laws. Ours also requires uninsured motorist coverage - strange since they also require everyone to be covered.

 

[Angel7]

No problem Amber. Like everyone else said, this is a place for support not judgement! I''m glad your bf was so supportive and sweet as well. He''s a keeper!

 

[anchor31]

I knew I could make you laugh...

It just popped into my head and it seemed appropriate... Heh.

Your boyfriend is definitely a keeper. I think the two of you have a great openess in your relationship.

 

[AmberWaves]

Yeah, he''s a keeper. BUT if he dares to scerw with our futures like that again, I will keep him in the closet, and not let him back out.

 

[aphisiglovessae]

uh oh, I hope nothing I've said upset anyone!

And don't listen to those others that are calling you selfish and whatnot. You know what I say to anyone who says that to me (although it doesn't happen very often)? I just tell them everyone has a right to be a little selfish sometimes and I smile.

Don't let it get you down...

 

[AmberWaves]

Date: 12/15/2005 2:18:00 PM
Author: aphisiglovessae
uh oh, I hope nothing I''ve said upset anyone!

And don''t listen to those others that are calling you selfish and whatnot. You know what I say to anyone who says that to me (although it doesn''t happen very often)? I just tell them everyone has a right to be a little selfish sometimes and I smile.

Don''t let it get you down...

No, no, no. It wasn''t you! You said perfectly nice things.

Don''t worry. I appreciate your thoughts, thank you.

 

[caligal]

There are just a ton of shops in the district! They all have about 20-50 diamonds in their safes- so just go and try different settings on... skinny, larger, etc... You two are doing great! And darn those muggles!

 

[AmberWaves]

Tracy, I am SO SO excited to get to go. We have less than a month. Things are looking up, and he''s excited we''re making it OUR ring, and I''ve got a part in it. Of course, the thing is now, once we figure out what I like, he won''t let me see it after!! Poor guy is trying to make it a surprise as much as he can.

Gotta love him. Can''t wait to save more money! I''m so Scrooge McDuck lately. Like, I can''t afford that. No, I don''t want to spend that. No, we don''t need paper-towels. Ha ha ha. I''m a freak.

 

[Crowned]

Date: 12/14/2005 7:35:59 PM
Author: *~Sweetpea~*

Date: 12/14/2005 5:45:41 PM
Author: platinumrock

Date: 12/14/2005 4:03:53 PM
Author: opfreak
<from a guys point of view, doesn''t look like theres many here.

a) guys are rarely in a rush to do anything, and getting married, honestly, most guys would always wait.

b)we like to think theres a few things we can do on our OWN. geeez, cant we be a guy? we don''t like HELP.

c)this will sound harsh, heres a little sugar first. he was kind of jerky about the whole, i''ll give u a ring then, i promise line, and twice is bad. the 1st few posts i was totally behind you.

But

D) the harsh part.

you sound like its all about.
me memememememememem,
i want a ring, now, now, now, now
ring ring ring ring ring.

phhff.

let the guy be a guy, once he gets married he''ll never be able to do stuff ''alone'' or by himself again, yet all you see, is me, my ring, now.

LOL

The poor guy could have been crippled, but shame on him for squandering the ring fund to pay for the car accident. It''s all his fault.

Amberwaves--
I just wanted to let you know from a GUYS point of veiw that it is UNDERSTANDABLE the way you feel. Sometime us guys just dont think things through and dont realized that it is ok to ask for help.

I am glad to hear your boyfriend understands how you feel and dont worry about what these guys said...
Personally I dont think that opfreak should be able to try and speak for all guys any ways--- we arent all like that.
Good luck on the upcoming engagement!!

 

[AmberWaves]

Crowned, THANK YOU so much for saying that. When I told my BF what they had said, he got really angry, and said, "How can they speak for me?" I really appreciate what you said. And I know, not all guys are like that- you''ve proven it. You''re really very sweet.

 

[SoonIHope]

Yay Amber, I''m so glad your boyfriend reacted so well to your talk (as we all expected him to!

) so you''ve been able to shrug off all this nonsense that was going on earlier!

And you''ll be RING SHOPPING SOON!!!!

ALSO: I''ve been off PS for 2 days!!! AAACK!!! I''m DYING!!!! NEED TO CATCH UP WITH EVERYTHING!!!!

 

[Mara]

I saw this last nite in the new Tiffany catalog and thought it was a very pretty ring for $2k. It could be a way to make a small budget seem larger with the Tiffany name and a unique style ring that still has a solitaire in it!

I think it's a .34c (or maybe its .34ctw) G VS for $2150.

 

[SoonIHope]

Date: 12/16/2005 12:42:40 PM
Author: Mara
I saw this last nite in the new Tiffany catalog and thought it was a very pretty ring for $2k. It could be a way to make a small budget seem larger with the Tiffany name and a unique style ring that still has a solitaire in it!

I think it''s a .34c (or maybe its .34ctw) G VS for $2150.

Oooh, that''s pretty Mara and still looks very "engagement ring"-like!

 

[sistagrl2004]

I think many things, especially emotions and intentions get lost when you post on an open forum. When I FIRST read this thread.. I thought "well damn, she seems to think the ''bad news'' is the fact that her ring was delayed, not that fact that her man was in an accident" There have been MANY times when I have surface read things and thought the person sounded greedy or ring-focused.. It''s only when I sit back and try to insert the emotion that I can really see that the posters are not greedy, but anxious and wanting her time to come as quickly as possible. ( don''t we all).

I realize often times when people reply with something snotty that they are saying what may have crossed my mind initially, but not going back to consider emotion.... I hope in the future more people do make that consideration before posting a funky comment in the middle of someone elses crisis.

Amber.. good luck in the future. I am sure you and your man will figure out a way to make it happen for you.

 

[AmberWaves]

Date: 12/16/2005 12:45:29 PM
Author: sistagrl2004
I think many things, especially emotions and intentions get lost when you post on an open forum. When I FIRST read this thread.. I thought ''well damn, she seems to think the ''bad news'' is the fact that her ring was delayed, not that fact that her man was in an accident'' There have been MANY times when I have surface read things and thought the person sounded greedy or ring-focused.. It''s only when I sit back and try to insert the emotion that I can really see that the posters are not greedy, but anxious and wanting her time to come as quickly as possible. ( don''t we all).

I realize often times when people reply with something snotty that they are saying what may have crossed my mind initially, but not going back to consider emotion.... I hope in the future more people do make that consideration before posting a funky comment in the middle of someone elses crisis.

Amber.. good luck in the future. I am sure you and your man will figure out a way to make it happen for you.

Thank you for considering everything in this post. It''s nice to know there are some people who will not just read, but LISTEN to what is being said.

 

[AmberWaves]

Also, Mara!!! My goodness, that ring is gorgeous!! And Tiffany, no less. I love seeing all the many options we have coming through here. Everything is so helpful. I''m really thinking that we find the diamond I love, and put it in a setting that''s okay for now. Then I can get one of those fantastic settings when the money is there. But then again... Tiffany, you say?

 

[Mara]

yanno what i like about that Tiffany ring too is that in the future aka year 5 or 10 or whatever, if you wanted to ''upgrade'' then you could just build an entire new ring and that Tiffany ring could be a cutie right hand ring or similar.

for those who are sentimental about not switching a stone or ring from your original engagement, that is a way to keep the original as is and still wear it but have the fun of building an anniversary ring or similar.

so there IS something to be said for starting out small....and getting something larger later, that way you don''t have to JUSTIFY anything when you guys are flush with money.

 

[AmberWaves]

Oh Mara, I love that you said, "when" you are flush with money. Gives me hope that someday my P.E. teacher boyfriend will- hm. Not many places to go "up" from a P.E. teacher.

Whatever, we''ll invest nicely. [$$)] That ring really is fantastic. I''m a big flower-person, too. Luckily, my thing is ladybugs, and there aren''t any diamond ladybugs. Wheew. the more I see it, the more i love the ring you submitted.

 

[Mara]

Date: 12/16/2005 2:58:42 PM
Author: AmberWaves
Oh Mara, I love that you said, ''when'' you are flush with money. Gives me hope that someday my P.E. teacher boyfriend will- hm. Not many places to go ''up'' from a P.E. teacher.

Whatever, we''ll invest nicely. [$$)] That ring really is fantastic. I''m a big flower-person, too. Luckily, my thing is ladybugs, and there aren''t any diamond ladybugs. Wheew. the more I see it, the more i love the ring you submitted.

Haha I know it is a nice thought isn''t it? The flush with money thing. I''m still waiting too. HAHA.

There is also a 3 stone version of that ring...here it is. Would cover more of the finger most likely. It has smaller diamonds though, the ctw is only something like .40ctw or similar, and price is similar to the other one, about $2150.

If you have a Tiff store nearby, I''d go check them out because they may appear different in person..I was in love with the Tiffany voile ring for a while and then tried it on and it looked wrong on my hand. Good luck!

 

[E B]

If we're talking Tiffany, I found something else you might like! It looks like it belongs in the Bubble collection! I love it, and I figured it was worth mentioning

Tiffany "Jazz" (.40 ctw) $2,350

Link: http://www.tiffany.com/shopping/group.aspx?CategoryID=471&category=Diamonds&c_id=WEB1&c_it=GRP0119&start_id=16&