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Calling all the Pregnant PS''ers

finally, the crib and our awesome charley harper print that was the ''inspiration'' for the room.

viz, over and out :)

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Viz!!!! I love it!!!!!!!!
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I think you missed that I just opened a thread for nurseries! hehe...so you will have to post over there too because the room is just too cute to not be on the nurseries thread!!!

I love the built ins and all the little details you have!. Love the wall color too!!!
 
Congratulations Sapphire!! Can''t wait to see pics of Logan!
 
Viz: SO CUTE! I love the little door to the left of the bear built-in! I also adore the color! I must say, I really like "Finn"! I don''t think it''s too much at all. Is it just Finn or Finnegan or Finley? Either way, love it love it love it.

Having a semi-minor freak out here. I''m 30 weeks now, and panicking. I''m finally signed up for a childcare class, but still need to sign up for the hospital tour, child birth classes and breastfeeding classes. Since our OB said not to even sign up until 30 weeks, it seems all the classes are on weekends (when my husband works) or certain weeknights he can''t get off work. Since he doesn''t get paternity leave, I''m not making him use up his ten leave days for two classes. It kind of annoys me that the OB said to wait, since he was off all summer because he''s a teacher/coach and we could have done it then. We also haven''t finished the nursery- we still need to touch up random paint spots and finish the trim, which is hard for both of us- me for obvious reasons, him because he''s a giant and getting so low to the ground is difficult. We also need to clean out the closet in the nursery, clean out the nursery insides and put together the crib and dresser/changing table. I also need a pediatrician, and need to figure out how the maternity leave thing works. Do I take disability? How do I do that? In CA we have Paid Family Leave, which is nice, but do I take disability first? I''m so confused.

Do any CA mommies/mommies to be understand what to do about disability/paid family leave?
 
Peeking in at 14 weeks; EDD March 15.
 
EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Congrats Kimberly!!
 
Big congrats Sapphire! I can''t wait to see pictures. :-)

Viz- love love love the nursery and I adore the built-ins. Very nice!

Welcome Kimberly!
 
Kimberly!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!
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I am so happy for you and thrilled that you''re joining us!!!
 
Congrats Sapphire!

Kimberly, that is so exciting!!! Congrats!
 
Kimmy, congrats!!! So excited to have you join us...!! I started a Healthy Lifestyle for Preggos BTW... even though I have been the ultimate slug lately.
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Amber... do you have an HR Dept? They should explain to you how it works. We have some video and these spreadsheets etc, but they are all really confusing. One of the other gals who went out recently told me 'bottom line' is that we have something like up to 16 weeks to be out and I think all of it is partial pay. It's a combo of paid time off (first week/40 hours), short-term disability and CA PFL. I only plan to take 12 weeks if all goes well. The thing is that it says it's up to 2/3 of your pay but it really depends on what you make. So you can't get MORE than 2/3 of your pay but if your salary is very high, you will get more like 1/2 or less of your pay. That is the part that is helpful to know, I think the max you can get is like $950 a week or something. And you have to do paperwork for that, it isn't just automatically paid through your company, it's from the state for a while too. It's very confusing and detailed, so if you have an HR Dept, def talk to them. Now is the time!

Viz I love the nursery, it's sooo cute. I am in full mental planning nursery mode now so I am just loving the pics.

Today is a SAD DAY for me because I just took off my WF diamond toe rings for the first time in 5 years. I have had no real swelling but I am too paranoid to leave them on longer, they are a perfect snug fit. In the past they have been off for 5 min or something while I clean them but I rarely take them off and never for long periods of time. I cleaned them and put them away in the jewelry box. I hope they still fit after the baby comes...I hear sometimes your feet are bigger permanently.
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Date: 9/14/2009 11:59:12 AM
Author: AmberWaves

Do any CA mommies/mommies to be understand what to do about disability/paid family leave?

Amber - I am not an expert, but I am in CA, and here is what I have gathered about leave. My HR is not even in our state, so they have been pretty useless, but I have been asking doctors and other recent moms in my company, and they have all pretty much said the same thing.

You are eligible for disability 4 weeks before your due date. Once you have the baby, most companies pay for 6 weeks of maternity for vaginal delivery, and 8 weeks for c-section. After your maternity leave has expired, you can take the family bonding leave, which provides you with an additonal 6 weeks.

None of these are fully paid. Disability and bonding are paid through the state, and are usually about 60% of your paycheck, I think. You can usually supplement these with your vacation/sick leave if you want to be paid more. I''m not sure how much maternity pay is at most companies, but at mine, it is 80%. Again, this can be supplemented with sick/vacation.

I second what Mara said to talk to your HR. They should have more detailed info. Mine has been pretty useless, and I am of course concerned about getting paid, but I''ve filled out everything I can, and most of the paperwork is actually handled by the doctor''s office in my case.

One last thing. The first week of your leave is considered a waiting period and is not paid at all. I am planning to use my sick time to still get paid for that week.

As a follow up to Amber''s question, how much leave did most of your husband''s take or do they plan on taking? My husband does not have any paternity leave, and only a few days of vacation, so we are basically planning on him not being paid for most of the leave. I''d like him to be home for at least a week. He could also do the state bonding, but I doubt he''d do the entire 6 weeks. We just can''t afford for both of us to be paid a reduced amount. I''d love to see what everyone else plans to do.
 
Quick question for you ladies.....I had a crampy feeling all last night and it has continued this morning. It is nothing bad, but enough for me to notice. I have also not felt the baby move for about 24 hours when he is usually pretty active. Would you guys call the doc? I don''t want to be a paranoid pest and I haven''t had any bleeding, but I am a little nervous. What would you all do?
 
Sunkist
I’ll have to check our Target to see if they have any Aden & Anais swaddle wraps. I’ve heard good things about them.
Viz
I like Finn. It’s cute and different. Too bad your DH crossed Wesley off the list.
Love your nursery. Your DH did an awesome job on the diaper changer top.
Mandy
Good luck with the NST.
Amber
Sorry the class schedules don’t work well for your DH. Hopefully you’ll work something out. FWIW, my OB told me that most of his patients thought the childbirth class was a waste of time and money, so it’s up to us if we want to take it. He didn’t recommend it. We took one anyways. I think it did help DH to know what to expect, but other than that we didn’t use the breathing techniques or anything.
Hopefully someone else knows the answer to your disability/paid family leave question. I didn’t qualify to take disability b/c I work in the public sector, and my leave was all paid by my sick and vacation time only.
Kimberly
Congratulations!

Mara
I haven''t wore my e-ring and w-band regularly since the last pregnancy. My fingers didn''t really swell much, but the rings felt so tight at the end of the day. After Meena was born, it was just inconvenient for me. And now that she is older, she is always grabbing on my jewelry. I am sure a lot of ladies on here still wear their rings everyday after the baby; I just haven''t.
To wake or not to wake
I swear I read someone asking about whether or not to wake baby up to feed, but now I can’t find the post. Anyways I never woke Meena up to feed. Pedi said we don’t have to wake her to feed unless she goes pass 5 hours when we took her for her 1 st office visit (3 days after we were home from the hospital). She didn’t lose any weight since birth.
I think pedi usually wants you to wake the baby up to feed if s/he lost weight after birth. It’s common for them to lose weight after birth, but they want them to be back up to birth weight. If the baby is gaining weight, then you really don’t have to wake them up to feed.
Pregnancy massage
How often can you get them? DH will be making an appointment for my first prenatal massage tomorrow. They offer them at our chiropractor, and they said they recommend that I get them since they couldn’t do much for me with chiropractic treatments and the massage will really help release the muscle stress. So I am going to try it out.

 
Thanks, Amber, Cello, Mandarine, Mara and Qtiekiki. We're both very excited.

Mara, I saw the healthy thread, and I've been following it but it would be sorta a sham for me to join in at this point. I spotted weeks 6-10 and was told no exercise until 2 weeks after the last day of bleeding is evident, almost two weeks after that point I still haven't gotten back into my routine; my doctor really encourages yoga, so I plan to pick that and walking back up again soon. I'm doing just fine weight-wise (up 5 lbs total) but my eating certainly hasn't been stellar, either. I have been totally into grapes, though! So perhaps when I get back into a routine I won't feel like a poser hanging out in that thread. It's been very strange not exercising, it's totally counter to my norm, so I know how you're feeling (this story could get longer, but I'll just leave it at that for now).
 
so cal girl
DH barely took any paternal leave. His job lets him take paternal leave/family bonding, but it’s paid by his sick and vacation time. So he took one full week off after the birth, and then took a few days a week for another 3 weeks. But I have help from MIL, so it wasn’t like I was alone at home. If MIL wasn’t here, then I would probably need him to be around more.

Steph
If you are worried, just call your dr for the peace of mind. I probably wouldn’t call my dr until the cramp was really unbearable or if I was bleeding, but I am kind of non-chalant type with most things. Hope you feel better soon.
 
aww thanks for the compliments everyone! our house is a traditional cape, but we have a more modern style. it was hard to blend the two without looking silly. i''m just glad it''s finished... well aside from the things we need to ''stock'' the room. also, for anyone who wants to hang a big heavy piece of art above the baby''s crib.. be prepared for lots of head shakes ;) however, i did find a site that sells ''hotel'' anchors ... that sucker is not going anywhere.

CONGRATS KIMBERLY!! how exciting! did your dr give you and EDD?? around 14 weeks is when i started to ''feel preggo'' :)

thanks QT!! for commenting on the waking vs. not waking. one of my GF adheres to the ''baby wise'' method and was alllllll about scheduling from day one. i''m not opposed to a schedule at all, but from what i''ve read, yeah, unless they are sleeping 4-5 hours w/out eating *then* you wake them. i don''t know if i''m freaking myself out unintentionally about feeding or not, but it''s my biggest fear. when to introduce a bottle?, will he take a bottle?, how long am i going to be able to BF? will he take formula? (and he has to before i go back to work), will i be able to get my old boobs back?
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. p.s i totally missed where your LO was not cooperating! bummer... when will you have the chance to look again??

amber- i thritto everyone about talking to your HR dept - but from what i remember your company is pretty small? did you get an employee handbook or do you have a link to your insurance website that could at least give you the basics? my maternity leave is 1/2 FMLA and 1/2 short term disability - the short term disability is paid, the FMLA is not - so it averages out to 1/2 my salary for the 12 weeks. i think it''s AWESOME that you can take 4 weeks off before baby in CA.. totally JEALOUS!!
also, i agree that the l&d class was much more beneficial to DH than myself.. but still worth it. unless you are considering 2 or 3 different hospitals to deliver, i think the hospital tours are a waste of time - sure it''s nice to know where to check in, but it''s not like you can''t find out when you have too ;) also, most hospitals offer BF classes after you have a baby, and a lactation specialist will visit you for a one on one lesson. i was all freaked out that the BF class i wanted to take was full until after delivery, until i found out about the above mentioned services - plus you can always take a class after wards if things aren''t going right - so no stressing, kay ;)

steph - i would totally call my doc. that''s what they are there for... and the stress of deciding to call or not isn''t worth it.. i''d call so they can tell you ''naaa it''s nothing'' and you''ll feel better
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Steph, I'd call. I try not to make my doctor's office crazy, but if I felt like things were off it would be worth it to me to pick up the phone.

SoCal, my husband runs his own business and I doubt he'll take any time off at all, except for the day of the birth. He works from home, but our plan is for him to get an office of some sort before the baby is born and I imagine he'll go to his office and work for at least a couple of hours every day. The flexibility is nice, if I need him for something he will be available, but if he worked for someone else I wouldn't expect him to take any time off except the time when I was in the hospital and the day we bring the baby home.

Thanks, vis. I love your nursery. The due date is based on my first ultrasound. I've had two others that push the date forward a few days, but as we all know, they come when they're good and ready, not when we think they're due. My husband and I were just talking about waking vs. not the other night. I sit firmly in the "no" camp, unless the kid isn't progressing normally, weight wise.
 
Date: 9/14/2009 1:59:05 PM
Author: steph72276
Quick question for you ladies.....I had a crampy feeling all last night and it has continued this morning. It is nothing bad, but enough for me to notice. I have also not felt the baby move for about 24 hours when he is usually pretty active. Would you guys call the doc? I don''t want to be a paranoid pest and I haven''t had any bleeding, but I am a little nervous. What would you all do?
Steph- If you haven''t felt him move you should definitely give the doc a call.
 
steph... i know you had a baby already so hopefully this doesn''t sound crazy since you should know what cramping feels like but are you sure it''s cramping? i have had a lot of the ligament stretching pains on left and right sides under my uterus and sometimes it''s a little painful, and it''s ongoing for a few hours. i tend to think of it as ''cramping'' kind of like a period feeling but i think it''s just my ligaments. i wait for a day or so and it usually goes away.

but i agree with the others if you are worried, call the dr.... maybe you can go in and hear heartbeat (and see this is why i think i still want to get doppler even after feeling baby move, it would just be so easy to slap that thing on the belly and hear heartbeat going ok).

re: paternal leave... since we are in CA my hub can do the paid family leave as well, i think it is up to 6 weeks (he is talking to his HR about it) and it''s the same as mine, like up to 2/3 pay but for us it would be more like 1/2 or less due to salaries. i suggested to him that he takes 3 weeks off. his job is pretty grueling and i know he will be checking email and doing conf calls from home when he can so he won''t be totally OFF but at least that way he can prob take 3 weeks pretty easily without being too stressed about it...anything more than that and it might be hard for him to re-enter without a lot of mental pain hahaha. and i really want him to have some time to bond with the baby...so i will say 3-4 weeks prob, 4 max. we are working on beefing up our savings so that we have a fair sized nest egg specifically for when i am off ... in case anything comes up where we''d need direct access for something big without worrying.

oh and i can''t go back a page to see who said it but on the first week off thing, in CA (or maybe it''s my company not sure) the first week/40 hours is required to be paid time off (PTO). if you don''t have any available then it''s unpaid. but if you have it, you have to take the first week off as PTO. i am bummed to lose a week of PTO, i''d rather take unpaid! and yes in CA we can take the 4 weeks before birth as separate from the 14-16 weeks after...but in most of the companies around here in the bay area, it''s hard to take those 4 weeks off, companies try to keep you as long as possible! i will prob take 2 weeks off before.
 
Thanks so much for all the help everyone!

Viz is right, I do have a really small office. I work with four other people- one of which isn''t actually ever in the office. Technically, I AM HR as I do all the payroll and deal with the insurance crap. Also, my insurance is through DH''s work, because their maternity and child care benefits were far greater than ours in the office. I work with one woman, who had her kids back in the early 90s, so she doesn''t know what''s new in disability. I never got a handbook or have anything to refer to, other than my co-worker''s outdated disability paperwork. I guess i''ll ask my doc about it if she can think of anything to do when I got in on Thursday. Either way, I can always get that one week over with and then file for Paid Family Leave. I''m still on the fence about how much time I want off pre-delivery. I am very cushy here, alone most of the time, usually on the internet and reading. In fact, I''m bringing the baby in after my leave is done, so I can work with her here.

So-Cal, my husband works at a Catholic school and doesn''t get paternity leave. His boss told him he''s free to take the 10 days of sick time, but that she''s worried because he may need those over the year. So now he''s all hesitant to take any days. We''re hoping I will go into labor relatively on time, or a bit late, since he does get a few weeks of vacation when school is out for winter break. I clued him in to PFL, and he''s thinking he might just take two weeks off, since 2/3 (or 1/2) pay is still pretty good compared to sick days when he could need them earlier.
 
Viz
I think having a schedule/routine is good, but it doesn’t need to be so concrete. I know a lot of the BTDT moms do/did the EASY routine. Seems like a lot of babies just naturally fall into that routine anyways. I can understand the desire to wake the baby during the day to feed, but I definitely wouldn’t do it at night. I think that might keep the baby from learning to STTN (just my opinion), like the baby might end up wanting the night feedings for comfort instead of actually needing them. But you are talking to a mom whose baby started sleeping 6 hrs stretch at night when she is 3 weeks old. So I have it easy in the sleep department early on.

I know what you mean about breastfeeding and feeding in general being the biggest fear. There’s a lot of unknown, so it’s not like you can really prepare for it. I am sure you’ll do great when your DS is here. You were probably just asking hypothetically, but typically it’s recommended to introduce the bottle at 4 weeks when breastfeeding is established. I know lots of moms who introduced earlier and had no nipple confusion issue. We introduced at 4 weeks.


Sorry for the novel.


Hopefully my OB will check at my next appt. If not, it might be a surprise baby.
 
Hey! Thanks for all the advice. I called the doc and told them what was going on, and they wanted to see me as a precaution...so I just spent the last 3 hours driving and waiting to get in. Anyway, the little one was stubborn and they couldn''t find the heartbeat at first, so I was pretty worried, but they finally found it and everything was good. She checked my cervix and it was still closed, so good news. She said I was a little dehydrated and that could cause cramps, which makes sense b/c I was running around like crazy over the weekend and probably didn''t get enough liquids and it is hot here in FL. Sooo, I just have to drink lots of liquids. Whew, this little boy is already causing mommy stress! Anyway, thanks again for all the advice!
 
ok ladies...

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....

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QT- you have to wait 4 more weeks?? ugh....
thanks for the calming words... sleeping 6 hrs at 3 weeks!?! ohhh, maybe my prayers will be answered and i will a baby like that :)

and i haven't read 'baby wise' but did read baby whisperer and really liked the EASY routine, which is what we will try to follow.. except at night :)

amber - i forgot to mention that at my last apt. my drs office gave me paperwork for maternity leave to take to my work - i had already taken care of it, but it would stand to reason that your drs office would have that same type of paperwork?? - at least it wouldn't hurt to ask. also, maybe DH can bring home an employee handbook or something so at least you know what insurance covers etc.?

steph - how are you doing? ETA - just read your post, phew!!

cello - did you move already? thinking about you and hoping you are feeling better!!!

sapphire - he's AWESOME!!! congrats!!!!!!
 
cant ya tell he''s just a LIL proud? lol...

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awww, Sapphire he is adorable! And your DH looks sooo proud!!
 
Sapphire: So Cute!!


In VA, I will take the first week after the birth as vacation/personal time as it is a waiting time for short term disability to kick in. Once that is in--I get 2/3 of my pay for 6-7 weeks (Dependent on whether it is a vaginal or c-section). then it will be 4-5 weeks of FMLA at no pay (I will use vacation/personal time for money). For a total of 12 weeks off (half at full pay, half at 2/3 pay).

My husband and I work at the same company so he will not be able to take advantage of FMLA for him as it would then cut into my time. Instead he will take 2 weeks off immediately upon Evan''s birth, and then will probably take another week off later on within the 12 weeks (using his vacation/personal time).
 
hehehehe sapphire ...hes soooo precious
 
He''s gorgeous Sapphire! Congratulations!!
 
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