can my girlfriend just wear engagement ring/no band??

[Bagpuss]

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On 10/18/2004 7:55:17 PM Hest88 wrote:





Bagpuss, it would be unusual here in the U.S. too, but more people are doing it.

Like F&I, my w-ring means a lot more to me than my e-ring, so I would never give up the symbolism of being married by using just one ring.
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I think that it is probably a generational thing. Older women may feel that a true symbol of marriage means a 'proper' wedding band, while younger women may be happy to have just the one, all-in-one ring.

The question was asked though and its obvious that we all feel strongly though differently about it. I think the original poster needs to be quite sure how his future wife feels as she may well have just as firm views of her own.

 

[JC]

"can my girlfriend just wear engagement ring/no band??"

Why not? That sounds like personal preference to me. However, other people may look at her hand and think that she's engaged, but not yet married...

 

[didiamond]

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On 10/17/2004 8:09:54 AM headlight wrote:


I don't wear a band. My ring is a three-stone ring and it is just my preference that I don't care for the look of a band with a three-stone ring as I think it ruins the look. So, no band for me.
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I didn't know that you don't wear a wedding band with your STUNNING ring! I guess I never asked you about that. Silly me. I will have to agree with you though, your ring looks spectacular on it's own!!!

As far as wedding band or no wedding band? I guess it's really up to the individual wearing it. Some like it and some don't. It's a personal preference.

 

[elepri]

Another option is to wear your wedding band on your left hand and your e-ring on your right. I see that a lot. But it seems to me it should be your girlfriend's decision.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

What about upgrades??? Shouldn't an eng. ring be considered sentimental and very symbolic too?

When one upgrades would it look odd to keep wearing the wedding ring/first eng. stone on the left and a BIGGER diamond on the right hand?

I'm curious for personal reasons

 

[Kaili]

In my opinion, your girlfriend should be able to wear whatever combination she chooses. To me, a ring (wedding or ering) is symbolic. A necklace can be symbolic. A bracelet can be symbolic. The jewelry is a symbol of your love and commitment or whatever sentiment you attach to it. It is not the emotion itself and it is not the marriage. If you are concerned with marking or branding someone, so they are "off limits" to others, then the seemingly universal sign is a wedding band. When I see anyone with any kind of ring on their wedding finger, I assume that the person is in a commited relationship. Not to open a can of worms where it does not belong, but I have several committed gay friends who wear a wedding band to symbolize their commitment although they have not had a legal ceremony.




My advice: Do what is right for you both, and do not worry about what others think.

 

[fancyrock]

"can my girlfriend just wear engagement ring/no band??"




The answer is... OF COURSE! Your GF can wear anything she likes. It's her call. There is no rules to this matter. I plan on interchanging the look of my set (e-ring / w-bands).

Have you talk to her about what she likes?

 

[fire&ice]

So perhaps others have had none traditional weddings.

For me, "with this ring, I thee wed" meant something.

And Michelle, my e-ring had a sentiment attached as many pieces of jewelry do. It was a promise to marry. I didn't swear in front of God, my Hubby, my friends & family via my vows with my e-ring. It was my wedding ring which is the only piece of jewelry that is truly "symbolic". My wedding band doesn't match my "upgrade". It's 18k yellow gold (diamonds in front). Don't care. Sometimes, I wear an anniversary band which is platinum w/ another diamond & sapphire band. I like the look. I don't like the sentiment. I just do it for fun.

I'm with Bagpuss. Either it's a Generational thing or just that after many many years of marriage, that ring truly means something regarding the promise made long ago at the wedding ceremony.

Again, with *this* ring I thee wed. Doesn't mean it can't be your engagement ring; but, be prepared for some confusion from people. And, I don't think that feeling is "old fashioned". I read on the AGE-ring thread that some of you wear fake e-rings just so that guys don't hit on you. People have certain things in their mind. I'm sure they don't look at that bracelet in the same fashion.

 

[fire&ice]

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On 10/19/2004 8:50:30 AM Daniela wrote:

I have to disagree with Fire&Ice on this one (amicably, of course!). I think it is about style to a certain extent. If it weren't, then people wouldn't spend hours and hours on Pricescope picking out their wedding bands.

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Yes, picking which one is about style & what works best for you. Admittedly, I don't have a plain wedding band. But, the way Iceman (who I disagree with often BTW

) put it, it wasn't about any kind of symbol - to do so one was misinformed.

I believe whatever one chooses to wear on a regular basis should be the symbolic ring used in the ceremony. That to me isn't about style. It's about marriage and commitment.

 

[Nicrez]

Still agree with F&I:

I think that wearing an e-ring, instead of a wedding ring is more an emphasis on the material possession (because it is usually the e-ring that has diamonds and the wedding band that is more sparse or simple), than the usualy emphasis on the actual symbolic ring.

E-rings are a promise to marry, and the w-ring is the actual promise in a symbolic form.

It could be that the younger generations are much more concerned with appearance and status symbols than the older generations that also have been married a long time. I guess after a while you realize that an e-ring can get lost but the marraige is the most important part to never lose. If a wedding ring gets lost it's not the value that hurts (usually they are less expensive than e-rings), so it's the sentimental. Money comes and money goes (too quickly, I might add), but sentiment and remembrance of a joyous union is something that is worth more than the whole "bling factor".

Me personally, I like diamonds and the beauty they add. Considering that, I will likely get a diamond wedding ring that is somewhat simple, yet flashy enough to wear alone and keep my diamond needs in check.

Being young still I don't want to overwhelm my hand, so I will likely wear my wedding ring for everyday and my e-ring on the right hand ring finger when I dress up. When I get used to all the bling, I may just wear them on the SAME hand, and make room for a nice right hand ring...

 

[fire&ice]

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On 10/19/2004 5:40:28 PM Nicrez wrote:

When I get used to all the bling, I may just wear them on the SAME hand, and make room for a nice right hand ring...----------------

Nic, that will take all but a couple of days to get used to.

It the wife/husband & for those that take hubby's name that is hard to get used to.

 

[Nicrez]

Are you kidding?! I grew up with a fairly common last name spelled differently so I had to always spell it. 6 letters. I prayed to marry a Smith or Jones.

My fiance's name is a tough name to pronounce and spell with it's heavily cultural derivative, and even though it's 8 letters, instead of 6, I get raised eyebrows and REALLY bad pronunciations and spellings...

I REALLY must love him!

Sadly my two friends who didn't take their hubby's name are already divorced (under 3 years each), so I wonder if there is a slight correlation...? (obviously not EVERYONE fits in that category)