Shay37
Ideal_Rock
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- Mar 1, 2004
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check out my new "right hand ring"...
- Thread starter wave1127
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Hest88
Ideal_Rock
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Shay37
Ideal_Rock
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hoorray
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- May 16, 2003
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First off -- great ring wave! I love EC's, and am lately thinking that an EC set east/west on my right hand might be a fun thing. More power to you!
And Shay, those are adorable boys! I am part of the kidless contingent. My husband has 3 grown kids who are very important to us, and we have nieces and nephews who I adore. We thought about having them earlier in our marriage, and I know I've missed something special by not having them. But..... we choose not to, and have had a great life together. We've traveled hard, played hard, and worked killer hours on 2 careers. We wouldn't have been able to do a lot of what we have done if we had had kids. It's a tradeoff. As long as you figure out what is right for you, there's not a right or wrong answer IMO.
And Shay, those are adorable boys! I am part of the kidless contingent. My husband has 3 grown kids who are very important to us, and we have nieces and nephews who I adore. We thought about having them earlier in our marriage, and I know I've missed something special by not having them. But..... we choose not to, and have had a great life together. We've traveled hard, played hard, and worked killer hours on 2 careers. We wouldn't have been able to do a lot of what we have done if we had had kids. It's a tradeoff. As long as you figure out what is right for you, there's not a right or wrong answer IMO.
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2004
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- 943
Wave- what a great ring! I like that you were somewhat impulsive (since I am currently seized with an impulsive urge of my own) and it's great to hear how happy you are with the choice.
Those right hand ads don't convince me to buy a diamond ring for myself, but maybe that's because they are full of a bunch of little diamonds.
Your ring is way more inspiring!!
I had VERY similar thoughts about kids when I was in my mid-thirties, only I ALREADY HAD ONE. Yikes!
Honestly it was all just so much more work and, sometimes, heartache than I could have ever imagined.
Once I realized the extent of energy needed to raise a kid, I opted out of the dating world for a few years.
Sometimes I felt like 'oh poor me I am making so many sacrifices' but mostly we had a lot of fun. She's been a fun, nice, smart, wise & compassionate child and I feel blessed that I was pushed so far past my old limits.
So now I am 47 and I am in love and I feel pretty age-less. (I guess I had pre-conceived notions that I'd outgrow the capacity for romantic love; I was wrong)
It is interesting that my parenting experience seems to have given me the confidence to marry. In other words, I have proven to myself that I can really hang in there, for better or for worse. There is just no other choice when it's your kid. (No divorce option!)
I admire those of you who are only 30 or 35 and making mature commitments to your spouses.
It has taken me longer to get here.
Anyway, congrats on the lovely jewel and three cheers for creating the life YOU WANT to live.
Those right hand ads don't convince me to buy a diamond ring for myself, but maybe that's because they are full of a bunch of little diamonds.
Your ring is way more inspiring!!
I had VERY similar thoughts about kids when I was in my mid-thirties, only I ALREADY HAD ONE. Yikes!
Honestly it was all just so much more work and, sometimes, heartache than I could have ever imagined.
Once I realized the extent of energy needed to raise a kid, I opted out of the dating world for a few years.
Sometimes I felt like 'oh poor me I am making so many sacrifices' but mostly we had a lot of fun. She's been a fun, nice, smart, wise & compassionate child and I feel blessed that I was pushed so far past my old limits.
So now I am 47 and I am in love and I feel pretty age-less. (I guess I had pre-conceived notions that I'd outgrow the capacity for romantic love; I was wrong)
It is interesting that my parenting experience seems to have given me the confidence to marry. In other words, I have proven to myself that I can really hang in there, for better or for worse. There is just no other choice when it's your kid. (No divorce option!)
I admire those of you who are only 30 or 35 and making mature commitments to your spouses.
It has taken me longer to get here.
Anyway, congrats on the lovely jewel and three cheers for creating the life YOU WANT to live.
pearcrazy
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 16, 2004
- Messages
- 1,438
Shay-
Those little guys are adorable. Love the hats! A handful I'm sure but when you open their bedroom doors at night and look at them sleeping-- sigh! it's all so worth it. I struggled with infertility for years before giving birth to my almost 7 year old son and 4 year old boy/girl twins. We could probably have afforded some kind of headlight with the money we put out in our quest for parenthood. But alas for me there is no more precious gem in the universe. My utmost respect for those who choose to remain childless. It is certainly an overwhelming responsibility and I must admit that we do miss our freedom at times.
Wave--
WOW!!!! What a gorgeous ring!! Doesn't look like a K to me either. Simply stunning. Wear it in good health!
Those little guys are adorable. Love the hats! A handful I'm sure but when you open their bedroom doors at night and look at them sleeping-- sigh! it's all so worth it. I struggled with infertility for years before giving birth to my almost 7 year old son and 4 year old boy/girl twins. We could probably have afforded some kind of headlight with the money we put out in our quest for parenthood. But alas for me there is no more precious gem in the universe. My utmost respect for those who choose to remain childless. It is certainly an overwhelming responsibility and I must admit that we do miss our freedom at times.
Wave--
WOW!!!! What a gorgeous ring!! Doesn't look like a K to me either. Simply stunning. Wear it in good health!
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2002
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headlight
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2003
- Messages
- 3,336
Wave,
Congrats on your fabulous ring! You know how to treat yourself right!
I, too, have been stung by the Simayof SF vacation impulse buy, as has my husband's step-mother. Last year, I purchased my 3.29 RB from them, and she purchased a 5 ct. Lucida-inspired cut. This year, I had the stone mounted (from a solitaire) to a gorgeous three-stone setting (see below).
Simayof's new store in Union Square is beautiful and I think someone was referring to their old store off the square. Also, I think their Vegas store is also very upscale (it should be for the size rocks they carry there!).
Enjoy your gorgeous ring!
Congrats on your fabulous ring! You know how to treat yourself right!
I, too, have been stung by the Simayof SF vacation impulse buy, as has my husband's step-mother. Last year, I purchased my 3.29 RB from them, and she purchased a 5 ct. Lucida-inspired cut. This year, I had the stone mounted (from a solitaire) to a gorgeous three-stone setting (see below).
Simayof's new store in Union Square is beautiful and I think someone was referring to their old store off the square. Also, I think their Vegas store is also very upscale (it should be for the size rocks they carry there!).
Enjoy your gorgeous ring!
headlight
Ideal_Rock
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- Nov 2, 2003
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sevens one
Ideal_Rock
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- Apr 14, 2004
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wave1127
Rough_Rock
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- Jun 2, 2004
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- 25
hi headlight,
what an absolutely beautiful ring!!! i am really glad to hear about you and your step-mother-in-law (?) having a good experience at simayof in SF. I felt comfortable with the service and selection of diamonds. my salesperson even invited me to lunch the next time i am in SF. one of the selling points i enjoyed was the fact that if i wanted to trade up in the future that i could receive full credit for the ring i originally bought with them. talking with people, they say the carat size i have right now is not too gaudy, just right, but hey, who knows maybe in the future i may reconsider...
re the subject of kids in previous posts...
i am turning 36 on june 16, (my ring was actually my birthday present to myself), i was talking with my sister-in-law about how if i did decide to have kids, i would probably be 37 - 40 before i would have one and then say 60ish or so before they would be in college...my boyfriend has 3 young kids 6, 9 and 11...adorable boys but quite a handful...i think kids are wonderful, but after thinking a bit, i have decided to plan on an early retirement, when i pay off my house in 15 years, i would love to travel the world...and who knows maybe work part-time while i am travelling...
anyways, i am rambling on...
kudos to everyone for living in a country where we all have the freedom to choose what we would like to do with our lives...
what an absolutely beautiful ring!!! i am really glad to hear about you and your step-mother-in-law (?) having a good experience at simayof in SF. I felt comfortable with the service and selection of diamonds. my salesperson even invited me to lunch the next time i am in SF. one of the selling points i enjoyed was the fact that if i wanted to trade up in the future that i could receive full credit for the ring i originally bought with them. talking with people, they say the carat size i have right now is not too gaudy, just right, but hey, who knows maybe in the future i may reconsider...
re the subject of kids in previous posts...
i am turning 36 on june 16, (my ring was actually my birthday present to myself), i was talking with my sister-in-law about how if i did decide to have kids, i would probably be 37 - 40 before i would have one and then say 60ish or so before they would be in college...my boyfriend has 3 young kids 6, 9 and 11...adorable boys but quite a handful...i think kids are wonderful, but after thinking a bit, i have decided to plan on an early retirement, when i pay off my house in 15 years, i would love to travel the world...and who knows maybe work part-time while i am travelling...
anyways, i am rambling on...
kudos to everyone for living in a country where we all have the freedom to choose what we would like to do with our lives...
headlight
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2003
- Messages
- 3,336
Wave,
Yes, you are correct in saying step-mother-in-law, but it just sounds so "distant" that I just say it the other way. We, too, had good experiences there, and have been treated quite well by them.
The trade-in policy was the main selling point for me. And that applies to my three-stone mounting, as well! I know that I will be upgrading my stone in the future, don't know about the size, but definitely the clarity and color and cut. Who knows, you may decide to go with a different shape down the line -- and we all know how the shrinkage sets in, so you may want something a little larger in a few years!
Enjoy!!! And happy birthday.
Yes, you are correct in saying step-mother-in-law, but it just sounds so "distant" that I just say it the other way. We, too, had good experiences there, and have been treated quite well by them.
The trade-in policy was the main selling point for me. And that applies to my three-stone mounting, as well! I know that I will be upgrading my stone in the future, don't know about the size, but definitely the clarity and color and cut. Who knows, you may decide to go with a different shape down the line -- and we all know how the shrinkage sets in, so you may want something a little larger in a few years!
Enjoy!!! And happy birthday.
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2004
- Messages
- 943
Hey Wave,
Thanks for sharing your photos and stories. I love the idea of buying something nice for yourself. Last week, I found my wedding band (it was serendipity - I wasn't even looking). Since FI was so busy at work, he told me to trust myself and go for it - so in a way it felt like I was doing it for me. Once he saw it, he lovwed it and agreed it was a beautiful ring. (I haven't had a chance to get decent picutes yet).
It is interesting to me how some of us got into a big soul-searching about kids around the age of 36. And, I sense a little relief in your reply (unless I am just projecting). I felt relief, too, once I decided NOT to search for husband #2 and have another baby asap. I decided I had exactly the right set-up with my daughter & myself.
And I have also had good experiences with other childless women who have become friends to my daughter. (My ex-husband's wife #2 is one). My daughter has benefited a great deal from having other caring adults in her life.
We don't all have to pop out babies to participate in the nurturing of the next genteration coming up.
Happy Birthday & enjoy your ring!
Thanks for sharing your photos and stories. I love the idea of buying something nice for yourself. Last week, I found my wedding band (it was serendipity - I wasn't even looking). Since FI was so busy at work, he told me to trust myself and go for it - so in a way it felt like I was doing it for me. Once he saw it, he lovwed it and agreed it was a beautiful ring. (I haven't had a chance to get decent picutes yet).
It is interesting to me how some of us got into a big soul-searching about kids around the age of 36. And, I sense a little relief in your reply (unless I am just projecting). I felt relief, too, once I decided NOT to search for husband #2 and have another baby asap. I decided I had exactly the right set-up with my daughter & myself.
And I have also had good experiences with other childless women who have become friends to my daughter. (My ex-husband's wife #2 is one). My daughter has benefited a great deal from having other caring adults in her life.
We don't all have to pop out babies to participate in the nurturing of the next genteration coming up.
Happy Birthday & enjoy your ring!
wave1127
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2004
- Messages
- 25
hi dbgaap,
no you are not projecting, i guess i do feel relieved. people always tell me over and over again how my life will not be complete until i have children. i do know that my life is complete already. i have wonderful friends and family and a great life, as is.
thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom, it sounds like your life is pretty complete as well. are you getting married again? congratulations and best of luck in your future!!!
no you are not projecting, i guess i do feel relieved. people always tell me over and over again how my life will not be complete until i have children. i do know that my life is complete already. i have wonderful friends and family and a great life, as is.
thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom, it sounds like your life is pretty complete as well. are you getting married again? congratulations and best of luck in your future!!!
eyesoftexas
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2004
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- 141
Love the huge rock and I am glad you are happy with your ring.
As far as the kids. I am scared to think that their destiny is in my hands, they completely depend on me and I am exhausted daily and the breaks never come soon enough. But at night when the little two year gives me a hug and kiss for no reason and whispers I love you in my ear - that is magical for me!! I just went upstairs to check on the little one and she woke up for a second, smiled and fell back asleep. I just cant say enough on the feeling that gives me personally.
As far as the kids. I am scared to think that their destiny is in my hands, they completely depend on me and I am exhausted daily and the breaks never come soon enough. But at night when the little two year gives me a hug and kiss for no reason and whispers I love you in my ear - that is magical for me!! I just went upstairs to check on the little one and she woke up for a second, smiled and fell back asleep. I just cant say enough on the feeling that gives me personally.
wave1127
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2004
- Messages
- 25
hi eye of texas,
yes you are definitely right about having a magical feeling when a child hugs you and tells you he or she loves you. my current boyfriend has 3 kids, age 6, 9 and 11. great kids. the youngest has latched on to me and is so precious. (their mother died over a year ago...) i do admit that the 3 boys can get rough and be quite a handful at times. i guess i have the best of both worlds right now, with lots of kid time and lots of me time too. sigh, life just leads us all on different paths, i never thought i would be saying that i probably would not be having kids. my mom up in heaven would probably shoot me if she heard me say that, again, who knows what the future may bring??? i still have maternity coverage on my health insurance, "just in case"...
yes you are definitely right about having a magical feeling when a child hugs you and tells you he or she loves you. my current boyfriend has 3 kids, age 6, 9 and 11. great kids. the youngest has latched on to me and is so precious. (their mother died over a year ago...) i do admit that the 3 boys can get rough and be quite a handful at times. i guess i have the best of both worlds right now, with lots of kid time and lots of me time too. sigh, life just leads us all on different paths, i never thought i would be saying that i probably would not be having kids. my mom up in heaven would probably shoot me if she heard me say that, again, who knows what the future may bring??? i still have maternity coverage on my health insurance, "just in case"...
headlight
Ideal_Rock
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- Nov 2, 2003
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wave1127
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 2, 2004
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OMIGAWD headlight!!!
yaaaa, lior was my salesperson too! that is too funny. he was really very wonderful and patient with me. very non-pushy and i guess he makes you feel not pressured at all.
still cannot get over how beautiful the diamond is. sometimes i find myself just staring and staring and staring...you probably know what i mean. the girls at work still oooh and aaahhh over it...
yaaaa, lior was my salesperson too! that is too funny. he was really very wonderful and patient with me. very non-pushy and i guess he makes you feel not pressured at all.
still cannot get over how beautiful the diamond is. sometimes i find myself just staring and staring and staring...you probably know what i mean. the girls at work still oooh and aaahhh over it...
dbgaap
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2004
- Messages
- 943
hi wave, yes i am getting hitched to husband number 2!!
i made up my own rule - if you are divorced for longer than you were married, they cancel each other out! i get to wear white if i want!!
just kidding. husband #1 was for 10 years and then i raised her 95% on my own for the next 12 years.
eyes of texas - someday you'll sit and watch your kid graduate from high school, just make sure you bring tissues.
the commencement speaker had the nerve to ask the parents to shut our eyes and picture our child on first day of kindergarten - as if i wasn't crying enough already!
then they had the kids stand up, turn around and applaud the parents.
now, i get to be part of his kids' world, too. they are both wonderful & unique and the only one left in HS now is a boy.
that's fun becuase it's so different.
i feel very, very lucky.
i made up my own rule - if you are divorced for longer than you were married, they cancel each other out! i get to wear white if i want!!
just kidding. husband #1 was for 10 years and then i raised her 95% on my own for the next 12 years.
eyes of texas - someday you'll sit and watch your kid graduate from high school, just make sure you bring tissues.
the commencement speaker had the nerve to ask the parents to shut our eyes and picture our child on first day of kindergarten - as if i wasn't crying enough already!
then they had the kids stand up, turn around and applaud the parents.
now, i get to be part of his kids' world, too. they are both wonderful & unique and the only one left in HS now is a boy.
that's fun becuase it's so different.
i feel very, very lucky.
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