darkside of ''''interracial'''' relationships

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/26/2006 1:12:26 PM
Author: albicocca
Re: Kaylagee''s comments on African American women''s hair:


...HOW IS IT UNPROFESSIONAL TO WEAR HER HAIR IN ITS NATURAL STATE????

(Although she obviously refrained from the angry fire faces and all caps!) But seriously, if even at the UN, hair like hers isn''t acceptable, what does THAT mean??

Here''s the best pic of her hair I could find in my 30 second search...isn''t it pretty and NOT sloppy and unprofessional???

The UN of all places but in a way, it figures. That''s so unreal but I think it goes back to basic horror at most things african. Her hair is gorgeous... I''d kill for hair like that! Is your friend Lisa Nicole Carson(from Ally McBeal)?

 

[Mara]

as someone who has curly hair, and i mean curly in the frizzy ringlet way...i have been straightening my hair since i was about 16! while everyone who didn''t have my hair said it was so beautiful and fabulous and how they''d love to have it, i hated it. it was VERY unruly and unkempt no matter what i did to it, i have tons of hair so it was always bushy, and i definitely would not have felt professional wearing it the way it was even on my best hair day. it was just the way my particular hair was. sheesh even when i had longer hair and it was straight i didn''t feel professional wearing it down at all. part of it is just our mental concept of what corporate professional IS or what it is in our minds.

so funny i have been wearing it straight for so long, greg likes it when it''s curly (and now because i have straightened it for so long it almost doesn''t grow out as curly as it used to!) but its SO hard for me to style so i wear it like that VERY rarely because the curls aren''t consistent anymore...but when i saw a pic recently of me in college with long curly hair i was wowed...i had almost forgotten!

 

[codex57]

Date: 1/26/2006 2:55:20 AM
Author: kaylagee

same aryan as in ''aryan nation''/ hitler etc.?


''varna'' makes me think of ''varnish''

Not positive, but I believe so. There''s a big ol stink in California over how our textbooks are supposed to describe India''s history. Certain loony groups are lobbying like crazy for their particular "view" to be expressed in the textbooks. I''m not Indian so I don''t particular lean either way, but I can tell a loon with extreme ulterior motives when I see one.

 

[JulieN]

Date: 1/26/2006 2:55:20 AM
Author: kaylagee

same aryan as in ''aryan nation''/ hitler etc.?

There probably was an ancient proto-Indo-European race that originated in Central Asia and spread into India, Iran, and Europe. There was a proto-Indo-European language which gave rise to Sanskrit, Latin, and Greek. People who came into Iran and India called themselves aryans, which means "noble" in Sanskrit. (I also have heard that it means "pure," although probably in the context of pure of heart, pure of mind, etc., not pure whiteness.) So, you have the Aryans who are a linguistically distinguished race from people who spoke Semitic languages. In time, the popular definition of Aryan became gentile. (Just like Semitic today popularly means Jewish, although it''s much broader than that.) A lot of racial theories came out in the late eighteenth/early nineteenth centuries about racial superiority (all hogwash.) People who just heard what they wanted to hear corrupted the Aryan "noble" race to conjure up a picture of a blonde girl with blue eyes.

 

[codex57]

Very helpful and interesting explanation. Thanks.

 

[ForteKitty]

Date: 1/26/2006 1:05:46 PM
Author: Mara

Date: 1/26/2006 12:59:14 PM
Author: ForteKitty
I''m already known as ''the one with the bad temper''.... besides, those guys would just think i''m overreacting or something. No need to waste my breath.

HR may disagree.

Let me pass my probation period first... i have one more month.

*work probation period.... not a criminal one!!!

 

[onedrop]

Kayla:

First of all, this a really interesting topic, and potentially explosive in another venue. But PS''ers seem to be pretty open-minded. I wanted to concur with your assertion about asian man/black woman couples being rare. At least they are where I live (DC/MD/VA area). Funny enough I did recently see an asian man/black woman couple for the first time in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and I was like "wow!" In a good way though. Although I sort of quibble with the label African-American, I am classified as such, so seeing this couple was a real eye-opener because I always thought that an asian man would never date a black woman. Stereotypes being the main reason. And I also wanted to concur with your "list" of stereotypes typically ascribed to black women. Very interesting, but I don''t think that I match any of them.

 

[Sunmoon]

Well, my BF is African American (literally, his parents are from Africa) and I''m from PR. I''ll guess I look the part, puertorrican (or Dominican,Cuban,Brazilian, once even Turkish!) although once a girl ask a good friend of mine if I was Black b/c of my behind! I wish it was "bubblier", JLo I''m not! Most of the people in PR are mixed and have a little bit of everything (white(Spain), Black-slaves and Taino indians. There''s still racism back home, b/c like my greatgrandparents use to say: You want to better your race= marry someone lighter than you. That''s just terrible. And in my opinion is the worst kind, the one where, sure, we can be friends but don''t dare marry my daughter!

I have Black friends that would never date and God forbids, marry, a White guy and they have taught their children the same.
I have Black women looked at me very,very,very upset and once, one told the guy I was dating why he had to go out with a puertorrican, how there was not enough good Black men around and there I was "stealing" one of them.

And, if I had a penny for every white guy that wanted to date me b/c I was puertorrican. One time at a bar a guy told me: Oh, Latin women cooked so well, and take care of their men and they''re sexy and speak Spanish in bed.Ummm...HELLO!!! I couldn''t believe him, what a moron!

The thing is that most of them were not interested in me like relationship material, more like: I once dated a Latina chick.

I like this subject, is good to know other people experiences

PAZ

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/26/2006 8:48:22 PM
Author: onedrop
Kayla:


First of all, this a really interesting topic, and potentially explosive in another venue. But PS''ers seem to be pretty open-minded. I wanted to concur with your assertion about asian man/black woman couples being rare. At least they are where I live (DC/MD/VA area). Funny enough I did recently see an asian man/black woman couple for the first time in the grocery store a couple of weeks ago and I was like ''wow!'' In a good way though. Although I sort of quibble with the label African-American, I am classified as such, so seeing this couple was a real eye-opener because I always thought that an asian man would never date a black woman. Stereotypes being the main reason. And I also wanted to concur with your ''list'' of stereotypes typically ascribed to black women. Very interesting, but I don''t think that I match any of them.

I''m not thrilled with "African-American" but esp ''black'' & ''white''. Such loaded words. Af-am is a catch-all for what is in reality a mostly multi-racial group. OTOH, I don''t go through the laundry list of my ancestry normally unless the topic comes up. I''m not ambiguous-looking to most people(in the Bay Area..but on the East Coast people do ask..I guess because there are so many different Afro-mix groups there).

*Oh yeh...At a show at La Pena in Berkeley years ago, a Peruvian guy approached and ask me to dance. About halfway through he lost me asking where I was from, then asking where my parents where from, then where my ''family'' was from and so on. He just refused to believe that i was Af-am because "the black american women are not pretty!" as he made a sour lemon face. I was all like

(sound of stylus screeching across record.) "Oh no you did int" (hand on hip, neck swiveling)... j/k

Well, maybe a bit inside my own head. Contrary to the stereotype, I''m not particularly sassy(except online

) or rhythmically gifted for that matter.

So, I suppose that was intended as a grand compliment.

That was probably one of the worst, most awkward moments ever.
*****
I''m posting everything in one window tonight as the flu is kicking my butt and my head feels like a q-tip or something.
***
*One of the articles earlier mentioned that although Bruce Lee was popular he wasn''t a sex symbol? Excuse me?! To keep it ladylike, I''ll just say that he was extremely attractive! Maybe they''re speaking strictly of the film plots or something. I need to re-read the article...(shrug)

****
This isn''t really ''darkside''..it''s actually a pleasant memory:

In high school, I went out w/ a Vietnamese guy from Paris with some French ancestry.((A grandparent?) He was totally adorable w/blue eyes.. We only went out a few times before his family moved back to France. :/ Not a grand amour obviously but maybe the start of my French madness? Instead I married a guy who''s mostly French and a little bit Asian. LOL!

***I want to write more but my store-brand, faux TheraFlu is calling me.

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/26/2006 1:27:26 PM
Author: Mara
..so funny i have been wearing it straight for so long, greg likes it when it''s curly... (and now because i have straightened it for so long it almost doesn''t grow out as curly as it used to!) but its SO hard for me to style so i wear it like that VERY rarely because the curls aren''t consistent anymore...but when i saw a pic recently of me in college with long curly hair i was wowed...i had almost forgotten!

Of course, it''s the same with dh.they like whatever is most difficult.LOL I have to agree that ultimately it''s a lot more work sometimes to get ''presentable'' with kinks/curls/ringlets., but there are so many great products, tips, books/sites around now(Curlygirl et al.)

The pic posted of albi''s friend looked pretty controlled to me.
OTOH, i understand what you''re saying about feeling pulled-together... I''m sure it''s gorge curly too!

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/26/2006 8:48:22 PM
Author: onedrop
Kayla:


First of all, this a really interesting topic, and potentially explosive in another venue. But PS''ers seem to be pretty open-minded...

Yes, I was worried for a sec. about posting my questions here because online you don''t have tone of voice, facial expression(smilies are cute but have their limits) etc. I was actually praying(see below text from a prayer card i keep..I''m not Catholic or even Christian but I love this prayer) as I wrote and submitted the post. You never know how things will read in a forum.

I''m so glad that we''re able to learn & share this way.

Thanks again to everyone for all of the comments, answers, and experiences!

Prayer of Saint Francis

"O Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace!
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is discord, harmony.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sorrow, joy.

Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not
so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 1/27/2006 2:35:20 AM
Author: kaylagee

.

*One of the articles earlier mentioned that although Bruce Lee was popular he wasn''t a sex symbol? Excuse me?! To keep it ladylike, I''ll just say that he was extremely attractive! Maybe they''re speaking strictly of the film plots or something. I need to re-read the article...(shrug)

he marry a white woman,very unusual back then,but he was an (ABC) american born chinese. one of the few true masters of martial art,unlike todays fakes. there''re many blacks that are big Bruce Lee fans. you know his cause of death, right ?

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/27/2006 3:28:10 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 1/27/2006 2:35:20 AM

Author: kaylagee

.

*One of the articles earlier mentioned that although Bruce Lee was popular he wasn''t a sex symbol? Excuse me?! To keep it ladylike, I''ll just say that he was extremely attractive! Maybe they''re speaking strictly of the film plots or something. I need to re-read the article...(shrug)

he marry a white woman,very unusual back then,but he was an (ABC) american born chinese. one of the few true masters of martial art,unlike todays fakes. there''re many blacks that are big Bruce Lee fans. you know his cause of death, right ?

lol. dh is saying that no discussion abt american asian-afr. am relations is complete w/o mention of bruce lee. Here''s what he says abt Lee''s death:

english is not dh''s first language:

"The official version is that he was taking some medecines and that some of the medecines he was taking didn''t interact well with each other and that killed him. He was very tired at the time from all his work and all that...

real tho i think it could very well be possible that he got killed by some cia fbi type of person... even tho his wife refuse to admit it.

It was at the time they killed black panthers, and american indian movement activist, frame them and all that. Bruce Lee had many connection with those people, he could very well have been the target of cointelpro too. He wanted to be the asian superstar of Hollywood, defeating american racism and get out of the type of caracters hollywood locked him in, asian paternalized by whites..."


does any of this sound true? dh is the fan(he studied Wushu to blk belts and was an assistant instructor)... i know very little, just that B. Lee was handsome. LOL!...

 

[Dancing Fire]

Kaylagee
according to chinese tabloids, Bruce Lee die from too much sex.

he did die at Betty Ding''s apartment

it is not unusual to see B Lee walking around on the streets in Hong Kong with many women.

i know a friend that spared with B. Lee,he said.... Lee''s hand speed was unbelieveable.

 

[kaylagee]

OMG!

 

[koko]

My husband''s mother was from Chile & his (step)father from Wales. His family taught him to be "color blind" while growing up. When I started dating him (at age 15), my father didn''t like it, because he has a very hispanic look (even though he doesn''t speak a word of Spanish). My family is white & my father grew up in Indiana. We were both raised in Miami, Fl. In my home we were basically taught to fear & loathe blacks, who we were taught, were lazy and didn''t want to work to advance themselves like other races such as the Cubans who came to Miami & worked very hard to advance economically, even with the language barrier. However, I also, would not have had it easy dating a Cuban (from my father). I didn''t know any blacks in Miami, they mainly lived in a run down part of the city at that time. My husband & I married in 1980, and are still together. Both of my sisters have only married white men, one is on her 3rd marriage & the other is on her fourth. We now live in the Atlanta area where I see a lot of "white flight" still. It does seem that the counties in the Metro Atlanta area that are majority black have lower standardized test scores, education problems & more crime. In Clayton County where the Atlanta airport is located, it is now majority black & has a virtually all black county gov''t. & D.A. They now have the biggest gang problem in the Atl. area. It is still a very middle class county. I don''t know if law enforcement isn''t as tough or what. Also, the county I live in is very affluent, and the north end of the county is majority black now. I know of several people who can''t sell their homes there, and there are more discipline problems in the schools & on the school buses. My husband''s best friends when he was in the Coast Guard in New Orleans was a African American couple, but they had such light skin no one knew they were black! Some of his co-workers even made racist jokes in front of this man, not knowing. I think the bottom line is that a lot of people fear blacks because of the reputation of violence. My dtr. dated a Chinese guy in High School & his family owned a small restaurant in a predominantly black neighborhood in Atlanta & they had to take the orders behind bullet proof glass. I feel like until most black neighborhoods are safe & crime free, many prejudices will continue. Just my 2 cents. P.S.: A term I hate is "Black on Black crime".....Crime is crime.

 

[moon river]

Date: 1/30/2006 3:13:55 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Kaylagee
according to chinese tabloids, Bruce Lee die from too much sex.

he did die at Betty Ding''s apartment

it is not unusual to see B Lee walking around on the streets in Hong Kong with many women.

i know a friend that spared with B. Lee,he said.... Lee''s hand speed was unbelieveable.

Whatta way to go!!!!I bet every man would like to SUFFER such a fate

!

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/30/2006 9:57:14 AM
Author: koko
My husband''s mother was from Chile & his (step)father from Wales. His family taught him to be ''color blind'' while growing up. When I started dating him (at age 15), my father didn''t like it, because he has a very hispanic look (even though he doesn''t speak a word of Spanish). My family is white & my father grew up in Indiana. We were both raised in Miami, Fl. In my home we were basically taught to fear & loathe blacks, who we were taught, were lazy and didn''t want to work to advance themselves like other races such as the Cubans who came to Miami & worked very hard to advance economically, even with the language barrier. However, I also, would not have had it easy dating a Cuban (from my father). I didn''t know any blacks in Miami, they mainly lived in a run down part of the city at that time. My husband & I married in 1980, and are still together. Both of my sisters have only married white men, one is on her 3rd marriage & the other is on her fourth. We now live in the Atlanta area where I see a lot of ''white flight'' still. It does seem that the counties in the Metro Atlanta area that are majority black have lower standardized test scores, education problems & more crime. In Clayton County where the Atlanta airport is located, it is now majority black & has a virtually all black county gov''t. & D.A. They now have the biggest gang problem in the Atl. area. It is still a very middle class county. I don''t know if law enforcement isn''t as tough or what. Also, the county I live in is very affluent, and the north end of the county is majority black now. I know of several people who can''t sell their homes there, and there are more discipline problems in the schools & on the school buses. My husband''s best friends when he was in the Coast Guard in New Orleans was a African American couple, but they had such light skin no one knew they were black! Some of his co-workers even made racist jokes in front of this man, not knowing. I think the bottom line is that a lot of people fear blacks because of the reputation of violence. My dtr. dated a Chinese guy in High School & his family owned a small restaurant in a predominantly black neighborhood in Atlanta & they had to take the orders behind bullet proof glass. I feel like until most black neighborhoods are safe & crime free, many prejudices will continue. Just my 2 cents. P.S.: A term I hate is ''Black on Black crime''.....Crime is crime.

Sadly there''s ''brown and black flight'' as well. To many af-ams, an influx of af-am(usually of certain classes) is now seen as a harbinger of doom. There''s been a lot of *talk* about the upstanding blacks remaining in ''the community'' to help balance it out. However this rarely happens... I don''t have an answer to this.

It''s human nature to seek safety and upper-class af-ams don''t want to sacrifice their children to these neighborhoods.

I''m curious about Atlanta: a friend went to school there said that there are seperate neighborhoods for wealthy black and wealthy whites. In the SF Bay Area/California, 99 percent of the time you can live where you can afford, so how does this work in Georgia? Are the black people self-segregating as well?

Also I smile and sigh at the comment about the light-skinned black friends. That''s why I''m not wild about the exisitng categories. In reality, there''s no such thing as a light-skinned black(that one drop tainting perception again). Obviously this paler skin and other Euro traits have a source.

These people are a mix and a bridge between the more extreme types of ''whites'' and ''blacks''. In a sane world they could just as easily be dark-skinned "whites".

I do realize that many mostly-white, multiracial, af-ams call themselves black but I think this is out of habit and tradition more than anything. There wasn''t(isn''t really) a practical choice in a racist society. Few people want truth and connection here.

This reminds me of that expression: "Who Are You Going to Believe? Me or Your Lying Eyes?!" lol.

How would it have affected a slaveowner to truly seen himself(or herself) in the faces of their biracial kids. It was much easier to deny. Couldn''t kill the cash cow right, so you consider your own children(and their descendants) as alien.

It was/is a sickness.

 

[koko]

Hi, Kayla. I think your friend is correct, Atlanta blacks are "self-segragated" by class. I live in the same county as Evander Holyfield, Hank Aaron, & Emmanel Lewis. I have a realtor friend who says this county is becoming very trendy as an address for upper class blacks. I think this website is wonderful because there is no distinction by skin color, just honest answers to honest questions. My husband has told me the exact thing that you did, it''s not "white flight" but rather "class flight." He said no one wants to live where they feel unsafe. I feel like he''s made me a better person since I''ve married him because I came to the marriage with certain prejudices that he had never been exposed to. He is quick to "call me out" if I ever lapse back

 

[allycat0303]

I find this thread REALLY intresting...

Well I''ve had experiences with guys that were non-asian and thought I was a meek/potential sex slave.

He was polish, and was sitting at the same table with me studying. In any case, spent 1 hour saying why he would NEVER marry a NON-polish girls because other races were to be slept with but never bought home to meet his mother. I didn''t say a word because I thought he was a flaming moron. In any case, at the end of his long recital, he came over to me and asked me out..

Well meek, little submissive me, told him, "If you ever come near me again, I''m going to rip your nuts out through your mouth" right in his face, loud enough that you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Now on the flip side, my boyfriend is white, and he has never disrespected me. I''ve been disresepcted by asian guys too, asian guys trying to grab me at clubs, or even more lovely asking me for my number while their girlfriends were in the bathroom. I don''t think sleazy behavior is restricted to any race, I think there are bad asian men, bad white men, and bad black men.

 

[moon river]

Date: 1/30/2006 3:59:25 PM
Author: allycat0303
I find this thread REALLY intresting...

Well I''ve had experiences with guys that were non-asian and thought I was a meek/potential sex slave.

He was polish, and was sitting at the same table with me studying. In any case, spent 1 hour saying why he would NEVER marry a NON-polish girls because other races were to be slept with but never bought home to meet his mother. I didn''t say a word because I thought he was a flaming moron. In any case, at the end of his long recital, he came over to me and asked me out..

Well meek, little submissive me, told him, ''If you ever come near me again, I''m going to rip your nuts out through your mouth'' right in his face, loud enough that you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Now on the flip side, my boyfriend is white, and he has never disrespected me. I''ve been disresepcted by asian guys too, asian guys trying to grab me at clubs, or even more lovely asking me for my number while their girlfriends were in the bathroom. I don''t think sleazy behavior is restricted to any race, I think there are bad asian men, bad white men, and bad black men.

Alley, I alway say people treat you the way you LET them treat you, and boy did you ever NOT LET a guy treat you bad

Way to go!!

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/30/2006 4:04:40 PM
Author: moon river

Date: 1/30/2006 3:59:25 PM

Author: allycat0303

I find this thread REALLY intresting...


Well I''ve had experiences with guys that were non-asian and thought I was a meek/potential sex slave.


He was polish, and was sitting at the same table with me studying. In any case, spent 1 hour saying why he would NEVER marry a NON-polish girls because other races were to be slept with but never bought home to meet his mother. I didn''t say a word because I thought he was a flaming moron. In any case, at the end of his long recital, he came over to me and asked me out..


Well meek, little submissive me, told him, ''If you ever come near me again, I''m going to rip your nuts out through your mouth'' right in his face, loud enough that you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Now on the flip side, my boyfriend is white, and he has never disrespected me. I''ve been disresepcted by asian guys too, asian guys trying to grab me at clubs, or even more lovely asking me for my number while their girlfriends were in the bathroom. I don''t think sleazy behavior is restricted to any race, I think there are bad asian men, bad white men, and bad black men.

Alley, I alway say people treat you the way you LET them treat you, and boy did you ever NOT LET a guy treat you bad

Way to go!!

I''m still shocked at the ugliness in some people.

Yes, excellent! Nipped that one in the bud.

 

[Sparkster]

Date: 1/30/2006 3:59:25 PM
Author: allycat0303
I find this thread REALLY intresting...

Well I''ve had experiences with guys that were non-asian and thought I was a meek/potential sex slave.

He was polish, and was sitting at the same table with me studying. In any case, spent 1 hour saying why he would NEVER marry a NON-polish girls because other races were to be slept with but never bought home to meet his mother. I didn''t say a word because I thought he was a flaming moron. In any case, at the end of his long recital, he came over to me and asked me out..

Well meek, little submissive me, told him, ''If you ever come near me again, I''m going to rip your nuts out through your mouth'' right in his face, loud enough that you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Now on the flip side, my boyfriend is white, and he has never disrespected me. I''ve been disresepcted by asian guys too, asian guys trying to grab me at clubs, or even more lovely asking me for my number while their girlfriends were in the bathroom. I don''t think sleazy behavior is restricted to any race, I think there are bad asian men, bad white men, and bad black men.

Whether we like it or not, a lot of non Asian guys think of asian girls as their ''toys''. Look at the large number of tourists that go to Asian countries to visit the girly bars. Even the ones that don''t visit them have the stereotype of Asian women from these bars.

 

[onedrop]

Koko and Kayla:

We''ve digressed from the inital topic haven''t we??

I started writing something re: the "white flight" thing but I deleted it. Instead I will just say that I read with interest what both of you had to say because I went to undergrad in ATL myself. And I can concur that there are some race/class issues going on there. The real reasons why the "flight" occurs are myriad I am sure.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 1/30/2006 1:41:17 PM
Author: kaylagee

Also I smile and sigh at the comment about the light-skinned black friends. That''s why I''m not wild about the exisitng categories. In reality, there''s no such thing as a light-skinned black(that one drop tainting perception again). Obviously this paler skin and other Euro traits have a source.

You have mentioned this more than once, KG. I do not believe anyone else has yet followed up on it. I think it is very hard for Americans raised in the US to understand that other cultures do not classify people as we do. We are so used to looking to see if there is that "one drop" of African-American "blood" visible in someone and, if we see it, classifying such a person as "black" or "African-American" that it is hard to understand the madness of this. South Africa, despite its unspeakable apartheid, had a far more complex system for dividing people. (Yes, good old South Africa did its bit contributing to the world.)


Deb

 

[kaylagee]

Date: 1/31/2006 6:49:47 AM
Author: AGBF

Date: 1/30/2006 1:41:17 PM

Author: kaylagee


Also I smile and sigh at the comment about the light-skinned black friends. That''s why I''m not wild about the exisitng categories. In reality, there''s no such thing as a light-skinned black(that one drop tainting perception again). Obviously this paler skin and other Euro traits have a source.

You have mentioned this more than once, KG. I do not believe anyone else has yet followed up on it. I think it is very hard for Americans raised in the US to understand that other cultures do not classify people as we do. We are so used to looking to see if there is that ''one drop'' of African-American ''blood'' visible in someone and, if we see it, classifying such a person as ''black'' or ''African-American'' that it is hard to understand the madness of this. South Africa, despite its unspeakable apartheid, had a far more complex system for dividing people. (Yes, good old South Africa did its bit contributing to the world.)



Deb

I totally agree! I said something to that effect(abt S. Africa) to my parents and dh once...they thought I was nuts. lol!

Also I''ve met some Afro-Latin people that are resentful of the blanket terms used here in the US too. They have more specific/descriptive terms in their culture.

 

[kaylagee]

 

[bookworm21]

Date: 1/30/2006 3:59:25 PM
Author: allycat0303
I find this thread REALLY intresting...

Well I''ve had experiences with guys that were non-asian and thought I was a meek/potential sex slave.

He was polish, and was sitting at the same table with me studying. In any case, spent 1 hour saying why he would NEVER marry a NON-polish girls because other races were to be slept with but never bought home to meet his mother. I didn''t say a word because I thought he was a flaming moron. In any case, at the end of his long recital, he came over to me and asked me out..

Well meek, little submissive me, told him, ''If you ever come near me again, I''m going to rip your nuts out through your mouth'' right in his face, loud enough that you could hear a pin drop in the room.

Now on the flip side, my boyfriend is white, and he has never disrespected me. I''ve been disresepcted by asian guys too, asian guys trying to grab me at clubs, or even more lovely asking me for my number while their girlfriends were in the bathroom. I don''t think sleazy behavior is restricted to any race, I think there are bad asian men, bad white men, and bad black men.

Sorry about digressing further from the topic Kayla, but I was curious to find out what that Polish guy''s repsonse was to Ally. Way to go, Ally!

 

[allycat0303]

Cinderella,

You''re so cute. Actually he just stared at me for a split second and then turned and walked away. Which was kind of anticlimatic because I was really, really spoiling for a nice verbal spat. It''s an experience that really stuck in my mind and traumatized me, mainly because well:

a) He basically assumed I would fall down at the chance to SLEEP with him (he was REALLY not attractive)
b) That I wasn''t worth anything except as an empty receptacle for his...ya know...

c) That he had no respect for my race (or any others for that matter) because they were in some way "inferior" to his.

But the saddest thing was about 2-3 months later, he was "sleeping with" not dating another Vietnamese girl in school. It hit all sorts of sour buttons in me because I''m Viet too, so a part of me wonders why she accepted his left overs.

I don''t know, because he did it so publicly, I wonder if he was trying to humiliate me, to prove his point, or whatever, but I really felt put on the spot because there was 3 guys at his table, and my friend sitting beside me. In any case, I doubt he''s going to try something like that again

Just cause an asian girl isn''t talking, doesn''t mean she''s meek. And you might not like what she says when she does

 

[moon river]

Alley, I hope you scared and embarressed him so badly that he will NEVER EVER treat another woman that way!!! Maybe you were the catalyst to change his warped views!!