Diamonds mean love? Or Status?

[mbn]

I didn't think that 5c was real only because I didn't think she is rich enough to wear such a big stone. Depends on the wearer. my sisternlaw is 34, husband gave her 3c, she doesn't wear daily only to special occassions bc she thought too big on her finger.

yes, sometimes a big rock makes you feel too dressed up.

 

[canarynursestudent]

Hi, this is my first post on this board. I''m 40 years old and separated from my husband of twenty years. The only diamond I have ever owned in my life was a little round solitaire engagement ring. I couldn''t even tell you the size, I believe it was smaller than 1/3 carat, and it had a little illusion plate under it to make it look bigger. I sold it this summer after we separated for less than $50, and I believe my husband paid around $200 for it in 1984.

A diamond is just a diamond. The de Beers advertizing campaign have made it into something that it''s not. People are brainwashed into believing that a diamond equals love, that a man should spend two months salaray on a diamond ring, that a diamond is forever (de beers doesn''t want people to sell their diamonds back into the market, they want them to keep them forever as a family heirloom). Diamonds are not rare or worth anything what people pay for them, just try to sell your diamond and see what you get for it. If diamonds are rare, why do so many people have them? A cubic zirconia is a cubic zirconia, nothing more, nothing less. I wear cubic zirconia because I think they are pretty and I refuse to feed into the de beers deception. Do you wear "real fur"? Years ago that was a sign of luxury and wealth. If the public knew the truth about diamonds, diamonds would go the way of fur.

Why DO people want diamonds? Because they are pretty? Because they think they mean love? Because they want to show the world they can afford them...or they can go in debt for them?

When I was a little girl an old neighbor lady gave me a ring that had a yellow stone in it. It was so pretty and somewhere along the way I lost it. I couldn''t find anything else like it except cubic zirconia (or yellow diamond). Citrines are more brownish or orangy and not nearly as pretty as the canary cubic zirconia I bought for myself. I wear it because it is pretty and nothing else. I don''t need to say "it''s fake" when someone comments on it (and I get comments about how pretty it is almost every day!) The stone is radiant cut and set in yellow gold filigree. It looks like it''s really there, sitting on my finger, just as much there as the diamond engagement ring was, and so much prettier. No one had to die bringing it up out of the ground.

I feel sorry for the guy who desperately loves his wife but can''t afford to buy her the huge rock she wants. Or the huge rock he wants her to show off when family and friends ask to see the ring. That diamond doesn''t show how much he loves her. The size of the diamond on a womans'' finger also means nothing of her worth as a person. It just means the size of the diamond. It''s a big diamond or it''s a little diamond, that''s all. Does that ring show what she''s done in her life, or does it just show how much money she spends or her husband spends? That''s all. A diamond is not love. It is just carbon. It sparkles and it''s pretty.

 

[chantal990]

hi,

It took me a while to wrap my head around the diamonds are mote than just side stone to coloured stones but after a while of looking at coloured stone e-rings I realised that there was nothing there that I would not get sick of at a later date and went the diamond option. I also own diamond jewellery I have brought myself and compared to my e-ring and some pieces I have inherited from my grandmother. The ones I brought are pretty but mean nothing my e-ring and my grandmothers jewellery means more to me than a symbol of wealh and status but it represents to me the loved ones in my life.

Every time I look at my e-ring I think of my FI and smile (or ache to smack him across the head depends on the day

). Every time I wear my grandmother''s jewellery I think of her and remember different storeies he used to tell me and the way she educated me when I was young in the ways of a "lady" (lessons didn''t take too well).

I also own some created stone in pieces where the cost of natural stones would of been way too much and I like that jewellery just as much as the rest. Foe example when I was 15 I was given a 3 stone CZ eternity style silver ring by a friend that was like a brother to me. He has since passed away in a car accident and no diamond upgrade could ever replace the love and feeling that ring invokes in me. My favs are always the sentimental pieces regardless of how much they cost.

 

[canarynursestudent]

But what makes them sentimental? I used to place alot of importance on things such as rings. But so much has happened to me in my life and I''ve come to realise that they are just what they are, a piece of gold and a piece of stone. The memory of the person is what can never be lost or stolen or sold. I volunteer at hospice and I sit with people who are dying. Let me tell you that they don''t care about their rings anymore. They talk about their family, not their jewelry. And then when they get closer to death, they don''t even talk about their family. I used to work in a nursing home, and let me tell you that there are MANY people who die and all their possessions are given to the thrift shop or sold at public sale.

When I got married I thought it was for life and I imagined giving my ring to my daughter someday. But my husband was abusive and even though we went to counseling and tried many things, it just never changed. When my teenage son started abusive behavior to my teenage daughter, I took her and I left. Sold my ring. My mother''s engagement ring wore through and broke, she had it put into a brand new setting. It''s not the same ring my father gave her and she was really upset about that. We just shouldn''t place so much importance on an item that can be broken or lost.

 

[njc]

Date: 8/28/2002 5:16:55 PM
Author: mbn
I didn''t think that 5c was real only because I didn''t think she is rich enough to wear such a big stone.

How did you come to that conclusion? Her appearance?

What makes rings and other things sentimental? I think emerald girl hit on it. I have several pieces of family jewelry that have been handed down to me. And yes, i agree that it is just metal and stone, but when i wear the items, all my memories of the person fill my head all day, and i feel "connected" to them again. For my HS graduation my mother bought me a hand-made solid yellow gold starfish pendant and the card inside was signed for "those that couldnt be here." {I am getting choked up just typing this} I have worn that necklace for every major event in my and family members life. HS graduation, College graduation, brothers wedding, brothers graduations... anything that "those that couldnt be there" would have wanted to be part of. And its going to be with me on my wedding day. I always wear it when im feeling a little down and feel that they are all watching over me.

I know the memory will out last the item, but its just nice to have something tangible to hold on to.

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

What makes rings and other things sentimental? I think emerald girl hit on it. I have several pieces of family jewelry that have been handed down to me. And yes, i agree that it is just metal and stone, but when i wear the items, all my memories of the person fill my head all day, and i feel ''connected'' to them again. For my HS graduation my mother bought me a hand-made solid yellow gold starfish pendant and the card inside was signed for ''those that couldnt be here.'' {I am getting choked up just typing this} I have worn that necklace for every major event in my and family members life. HS graduation, College graduation, brothers wedding, brothers graduations... anything that ''those that couldnt be there'' would have wanted to be part of. And its going to be with me on my wedding day. I always wear it when im feeling a little down and feel that they are all watching over me.

I know the memory will out last the item, but its just nice to have something tangible to hold on to.

that is so sweet

 

[ursulawrite]

90% of NYC women I know would have been gutted if their OH had bought them anything less than two carats. Most got engaged when they were 25, some younger, but their husbands could afford it and why not?

What REALLY bugs me is when the same people then look down on me because my ring is just over a carat, as if my husband -- who earns the same mid six-figure amount as their husbands -- loves me less and I''m somehow a Grade D on a sliding diamond scale.

So, yes, I think that in certain metropolitan areas e-rings are the new SUV. Bigger, it seems to a lot of folks, is always better. But my favourite car was always the Mini Cooper, anyway

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 12/16/2004 9:56:29 AM
Author: canarynursestudent
But what makes them sentimental? I used to place alot of importance on things such as rings. But so much has happened to me in my life and I've come to realise that they are just what they are, a piece of gold and a piece of stone. The memory of the person is what can never be lost or stolen or sold. I volunteer at hospice and I sit with people who are dying. Let me tell you that they don't care about their rings anymore. They talk about their family, not their jewelry. And then when they get closer to death, they don't even talk about their family. I used to work in a nursing home, and let me tell you that there are MANY people who die and all their possessions are given to the thrift shop or sold at public sale.

When I got married I thought it was for life and I imagined giving my ring to my daughter someday. But my husband was abusive and even though we went to counseling and tried many things, it just never changed. When my teenage son started abusive behavior to my teenage daughter, I took her and I left. Sold my ring. My mother's engagement ring wore through and broke, she had it put into a brand new setting. It's not the same ring my father gave her and she was really upset about that. We just shouldn't place so much importance on an item that can be broken or lost.

Canary, I am sorry to hear about the things that happened in your relationship. I understand completely – as I have had a few bad turns as well. However, the optimist in me would like to address your question about ascribing sentimental value to material things.

Sentiment takes many forms. Songs remind me of different people or times in the course of my life. Chicago's "You're The Inspiration" eternally connects me to a girl named Beth (my first love). Other music is associated with other memories, and just as strongly. Van Halen's "Dreams" is my best friends and our senior year. "Adagio for Strings" is my college roommate and me talking into the night. "Sunrise, Sunset" is my parents' renewal of vows.

Smell is powerful. "Beautiful" is the perfume my college girlfriend wore and to this day I turn to see who's wearing her scent when I smell it. Vanilla candles are Beth again. Cinnamon in hot cider is countless nights with my parents trimming the tree or caroling. The smell of any evergreen tree is Washington State, where I grew up. New car smell will be my first Porsche from now on - no matter what I own in the future.

Tokens are powerful reminders as well. Whether it’s a shot glass gift from a college buddy or heirloom silver and china passed down from grandma, the value depends on the circumstance. I still have a silver chain necklace Beth gave me on our first anniversary. It’s probably worth $0 but I won’t let it go, because it’s a powerful sentimental snapshot from that time in my life. My class ring is not worth much (though I paid a lot for it), but the memories it stirs are far beyond any dollar value. I have bracelets, necklaces and rings from past relationships. Were they expensive? Yes and no. At the time I believe the necklace Beth got me in our teens broke her bank. What is it worth today? It’s worth nothing and it’s priceless. It’s pleasing to me and I would never give it up – even though I have the memories – it’s nice to have the physical reminder too.

Do I need to give someone a piece of expensive jewelry to express my love? No. Will I? Absolutely. For the same reason I wear the watch given to me by a group of HS kids I worked with. For the same reason I sometimes crank “Dreams” on the ride home. For the same reason I never miss the opportunity to walk by a girl in the office I know is wearing “Beautiful.” For the same reason I sit in the dark and listen to “Adagio” by candlelight and toast old friends and memories on nights I’m waxing maudlin. For the same reason I value my class ring and other jewelry I associate with good times in my past.

Canary, you’re right. Some of these things are just metal and stone. As I write this I realize the value I place on them is entirely personal. When I am gone no one else will place value on them. Equally important, I realize that I keep no sentimental reminders of relationships where my heart has been broken... A broken heart can break the spirit and any perceived value of such items. Interesting.

As my values stand, I embrace modern conventions regarding ‘precious’ gems. I think they are beautiful and perfect as a convenient and potent expression of sentiment. The token of affection I bestow upon my future wife will be the perfect fit for her and us... Whether that is a 2.0 ct F, VS1 RB, a sapphire with ruby side stones, a plain gold band, a princess for my princess - or a puppy as a promise - will depend on the nature of who we are together. Cost won’t matter. The symbolism will.

Will there be risk in such a purchase? Yes. Just as there is risk in opening myself completely to another. That’s the correlation: As I risk loving and being emotionally hurt by a relationship’s failure – I will risk buying and being monetarily hurt.

That said, I choose the path of optimism. As long as we are together I want her to be able to see the symbol I selected and gave as a visual reminder of our promise to each other. When she wakes I want it there as a physical reminder that I am with her, even if I am half a planet away. If I pass away before she does I hope she will treasure it for the many memories it represents and for the fact that I selected it specially to symbolize the character of our love.

Obviously, not everyone will share this perspective – but I choose to embrace such values. They stoke the fire of the ‘hopeless romantic’ within me, and I like that… It feels warm and cozy.

 

[belle]

wow.

 

[Shay37]

To JohnQuixote: You, Sir Knight, are a poet. What a lovely and uplifting read.

Shay

 

[fire&ice]

I think purchasing something - anything as long as one can afford it - that the giver finds no value in & will receive no pleasure from - but the receiver will cherish is an act of love. It's selfless recognition of someone's wants.

We've had this discussion on many threads. Some can get quite heated. We, as humans, cherish "objects". Always have. Always will. I don't think one can only cherish expensive items. But, in my case, I do cherish my anniversary ring. As I stated, to me it represents a sentiment of "hard work together" that my husband can afford to lavish me.

I was at the shops doing some last minute gift buying. The gal at the counter grabbed my hand and exclaimed "Someone really loves you." I had to chuckle thinking of this thread. I proudly exclaimed that it was a 20th anniversary present. But, at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder - "Someone really loves you" - not necessarily. I'm blessed in my case. But, just because you are sporting a large diamond doesn't necessarily mean someone loves you more - go no further than Colby Bryant & the purple diamond. But, just because you wear a small diamond doesn't necessarily mean someone loves you more - or less for that matter. To me, the issue goes more to what one can afford & what one will sacrifice for the other. I've said it before. I don't think to kindly of the guy that buys a bargin ring for his to be (with said to be loving jewelry & diamonds) then proceeds to blow several thousand dollars on something solely for him.

At the end of the day, we all put sentiment in objects. One definitely is a wedding band & an e-ring. On the flip side, I have a friend who went through a rather nasty divorce. She is saving her e-ring for her daughter. Her view is that "that" ring represents the joy of having her daughter. The best thing to come from her union.

 

[i_like_tiffany_please_dont_hate_me]

I don''t think to kindly of the guy that buys a bargin ring for his to be (with said to be loving jewelry & diamonds) then proceeds to blow several thousand dollars on something solely for him.

surely not!!!!!!! how utterly selfish and self-centred would you have to be to do that????????? any guy that would do that deserves to have the e-ring rammed up his nose (or somewhere less pleasant)!!!

 

[mightyred]

To JohnQuixote, I second Belle''s WOW!

That was so perfect. It summed up exactly what I was feeling .

Thank you for taking the time to put your thoughts on paper so eloquently for the benefit of everyone.

 

[Diamond Angel]

wow...john...will you marry me?

beautiful!

 

[DiamondsRagirlsbestfriend]

A great topic.

As the woman receiving a beautiful engagement ring from the man of my dreams, the ring is a constant reminder of how beautiful our relationship is, and that we are headed toward becoming husband and wife. If the ring had been a pretty sterling silver band with no stones, I''d feel the same way about it.

I can tell you that my fiance has told me that he feels that the ring is "ours," in a way...that it''s something special between us. He loves looking at it on my finger.

What can I say? We''re totally head over heels in love with one another (I know it''s a dumb cliche'', but I can''t think of a better way to describe it). The ring is about the bond between us, not the diamonds.

 

[chantal990]

John I am adding my "WOW" to the others. That was the point that I was trying to get to and I don''t think I could of ever gotten anywhere near.

 

[JohnQuixote]

Belle, Shay, MightyRed, DiamondAngel & EmeraldGirl - Thanks.
I''m humbled, and glad we''re on the same wavelength.

It''s hard to find time to write a lot during this season - but - it''s during this season that such sentiments are most meaningful. I don''t know of another time of year which generates more potent memories with family and loved ones.

DiamondAngel... This is so sudden

.

BTW, my S.O.''s name is Angela. She didn''t put you up to this did she?

 

[fortheloveofdiamonds]

John: I am rendered speechless! Beautiful!

 

[Diamonds4Me]

Date: 12/16/2004 3:29

7 PM
Author: JohnQuixote

Date: 12/16/2004 9:56:29 AM
Author: canarynursestudent
But what makes them sentimental? I used to place alot of importance on things such as rings. But so much has happened to me in my life and I've come to realise that they are just what they are, a piece of gold and a piece of stone. The memory of the person is what can never be lost or stolen or sold. I volunteer at hospice and I sit with people who are dying. Let me tell you that they don't care about their rings anymore. They talk about their family, not their jewelry. And then when they get closer to death, they don't even talk about their family. I used to work in a nursing home, and let me tell you that there are MANY people who die and all their possessions are given to the thrift shop or sold at public sale.

When I got married I thought it was for life and I imagined giving my ring to my daughter someday. But my husband was abusive and even though we went to counseling and tried many things, it just never changed. When my teenage son started abusive behavior to my teenage daughter, I took her and I left. Sold my ring. My mother's engagement ring wore through and broke, she had it put into a brand new setting. It's not the same ring my father gave her and she was really upset about that. We just shouldn't place so much importance on an item that can be broken or lost.

Canary, I am sorry to hear about the things that happened in your relationship. I understand completely – as I have had a few bad turns as well. However, the optimist in me would like to address your question about ascribing sentimental value to material things.

Sentiment takes many forms. Songs remind me of different people or times in the course of my life. Chicago's 'You're The Inspiration' eternally connects me to a girl named Beth (my first love). Other music is associated with other memories, and just as strongly. Van Halen's 'Dreams' is my best friends and our senior year. 'Adagio for Strings' is my college roommate and me talking into the night. 'Sunrise, Sunset' is my parents' renewal of vows.

Smell is powerful. 'Beautiful' is the perfume my college girlfriend wore and to this day I turn to see who's wearing her scent when I smell it. Vanilla candles are Beth again. Cinnamon in hot cider is countless nights with my parents trimming the tree or caroling. The smell of any evergreen tree is Washington State, where I grew up. New car smell will be my first Porsche from now on - no matter what I own in the future.

Tokens are powerful reminders as well. Whether it’s a shot glass gift from a college buddy or heirloom silver and china passed down from grandma, the value depends on the circumstance. I still have a silver chain necklace Beth gave me on our first anniversary. It’s probably worth $0 but I won’t let it go, because it’s a powerful sentimental snapshot from that time in my life. My class ring is not worth much (though I paid a lot for it), but the memories it stirs are far beyond any dollar value. I have bracelets, necklaces and rings from past relationships. Were they expensive? Yes and no. At the time I believe the necklace Beth got me in our teens broke her bank. What is it worth today? It’s worth nothing and it’s priceless. It’s pleasing to me and I would never give it up – even though I have the memories – it’s nice to have the physical reminder too.

Do I need to give someone a piece of expensive jewelry to express my love? No. Will I? Absolutely. For the same reason I wear the watch given to me by a group of HS kids I worked with. For the same reason I sometimes crank “Dreams” on the ride home. For the same reason I never miss the opportunity to walk by a girl in the office I know is wearing “Beautiful.” For the same reason I sit in the dark and listen to “Adagio” by candlelight and toast old friends and memories on nights I’m waxing maudlin. For the same reason I value my class ring and other jewelry I associate with good times in my past.

Canary, you’re right. Some of these things are just metal and stone. As I write this I realize the value I place on them is entirely personal. When I am gone no one else will place value on them. Equally important, I realize that I keep no sentimental reminders of relationships where my heart has been broken... A broken heart can break the spirit and any perceived value of such items. Interesting.

As my values stand, I embrace modern conventions regarding ‘precious’ gems. I think they are beautiful and perfect as a convenient and potent expression of sentiment. The token of affection I bestow upon my future wife will be the perfect fit for her and us... Whether that is a 2.0 ct F, VS1 RB, a sapphire with ruby side stones, a plain gold band, a princess for my princess - or a puppy as a promise - will depend on the nature of who we are together. Cost won’t matter. The symbolism will.

Will there be risk in such a purchase? Yes. Just as there is risk in opening myself completely to another. That’s the correlation: As I risk loving and being emotionally hurt by a relationship’s failure – I will risk buying and being monetarily hurt.

That said, I choose the path of optimism. As long as we are together I want her to be able to see the symbol I selected and gave as a visual reminder of our promise to each other. When she wakes I want it there as a physical reminder that I am with her, even if I am half a planet away. If I pass away before she does I hope she will treasure it for the many memories it represents and for the fact that I selected it specially to symbolize the character of our love.

Obviously, not everyone will share this perspective – but I choose to embrace such values. They stoke the fire of the ‘hopeless romantic’ within me, and I like that… It feels warm and cozy.

I couldn't have said it more beautifully than that...or even close to that. There are so many things that I have that most would just toss in the trash without another thought. But they mean the world to me and I would be devastated if they were lost.

 

[MichelleCarmen]

I'm extremely sentimental. I find that for my diamond eng. ring that it doesn't mean love, but it means the years my husband and I have spent together. Initially, every piece of jewelry I receive means fun, not love, but then over time as I wear my things, they form a connection to my life so they become sentimental.

My eng. ring is .42 and it's beautiful and enough. Do I need more? No. Do I want more? Of course. . .I'm obsessed like all us ladies here on PS

So a bigger diamond purchase to me would mean status as not everyone can afford a diamond to begin with, much less a carat, two carat, etc., size stone, so another diamond would demonstrate more money (or debt

). . .But, like all my other pieces, eventually any other diamond(s) I purchase will too become apart of my life lived and take on new meaning.

If a person thinks diamonds = love than so be it. At least this person has a positive way of looking at things.

 

[JohnQuixote]

FTLOD and D4M, thank you for posting the kind comments. What I wrote was from the heart.

MichelleCarmen, I think you hit on another key point... Diamonds are associated with love and relationships not only because of a brilliant marketing campaign, but also because they fit the role accordingly. It is easy to equate them with the assigned meaning because they are beautiful, convenient. ''timeless'' and potent. In any event, they have stood the test of a decent measure of time in this century. Whether they will have the same place of honor or meaning in another 100 years remains to be seen.

 

[lazanski]

Hi,

This is a great question!

I am a first time poster, but long time reader.  I have been through two engagements (neither of which worked out) and two diamond rings.  Recently, I turned 30 and decided to have a diamond ring made for just me.  I love diamond jewelry because I wear what I like and enjoy wearing different items on different days.

I do think that diamonds show status as well, but I try not to think of that because I enjoy what I wear!  (It is fun to look and see what everyone else is wearing too!)

Cheers!

 

[Lord Summerisle]

John, you certainly put into words what I (and it seems many others) feel.

Taking that, and wanting to add to it… now looking at asking the girl of my dreams to be with me… we take it as a serious commitment – that this will be a symbol of my love to her… not because of any marketing campaign, but simply ‘because’

I want to put into a physical thing, something that really cannot be quantified. Size does not matter – but I want to get the best for her as I can… and I want the person who cut the diamond to have taken the same care over it, as I care for her, I want it to shine as brightly and as beautifully as I find she sparkles. We, nor our parents have ever felt the need for ‘upgrading’ the diamond, it’s a non issue… the ring and stone where given at a time as a symbol of our (and their) love, and well, I could ramble on.

But as said we treasure objects, and place a value on them over and above that which we paid for them. In the way a Black Bird hordes silver shiny items… we horde that we are given. My mum wears her late sister’s engagement ring, which her brother-in-law gave her, and he passed on to me his wedding band after he died earlier this year. Which I plan to wear.

 

[treysar]

Hm - what does my diamond mean to me..

Before i got engaged, I never paid attention to diamonds - at all. I never asked to see any of my friends rings, it never even occured to me to do that. Never noticed what my 3 older sisers had, size ,shape, nothing. When my fiance proposed, he got on his knee, opened the ring box, and i bent down and hugged him. about 5 minutes later, he said, "are you going to put it on?" I didn''t even relize I was holding the box - never really even looked at the ring. But let me tell you, the second it went on my finger, it was like I turned into a diamond maniac. The WEIRDEST THING - I never even NOTICED diamonds, and now I enjoy public places like the grocery store, the diner, etc so i can STARE at people''s hands!

As much as I am a totally obscene diamond maniac, the diamond to me, is not at all about love or my relationship. How hard he looked for the stone, the time he spent learning, the fact that he brought his Mom to help him pick the right stone, the PROMISE, the "Will You Marry Me" is SO TOTALLY PRICELESS to me. The sparkly is totally wonderful, but in the scheme of things, it''s just a bonus compared to what is behind the ring - the wonderful life that we will build together - I am SO EXCITED for that!

But as excited as I am for the future,
I am also excited for future DIAMONDS!!

 

[Nicrez]

Initially my engagement was simply not fast enough. My DF had promised me by November, and in November, he had a financial situation that cost his all the money he saved for my ring. I was upset by the ring and that he wanted to wait to get that money back. He had enough to get a nice "decent" ring, under a carat, and he still refused to get me the ring until he had what he considered as "enough"...

So, initially my ring was a burden and an argument. We fought over it. When I swore up and down that I didn''t care HOW big it was or anything, he looked me straight in the eyes and said, "it''s not about size, or anything like that. It''s about the fact that I had saved what i consider a fair portion of my earnings towards something of value that you will display as my wife-toi-be. It is a symbol of our love, and to me, the money that i spend is not worth as much as what quality of stone I can buy for you. I balance that out with prudence and saving the rest of my money for our home and kids, and got a number that I will not go below and a number I can not exceed (right now), and when I have enough money to buy you the ring I would be proud to have you, my wife-to-be wearing, THEN and only THEN will you get a ring. It''s the only time I will ever propose and you will be my only wife, and I want everything to be perfect." I shut up and waited... and now my ring means a lot more than it ever did!

That said, we actually got an e-ring that was smaller than our anticipated carat weight, and do I think he loves me less, no. but I can say that as a woman and a future gemologist, my love for diamonds makes me want MORe of them. I am just lucky enough to have some good diamond connections and a generous understanding hubby-to-be that knows my collection needs to grow.

I think diamonds, like anything else are symbols to some (because of their strength and unique properties of beauty), but ultimately, anything can become vanity and surplus, it just depends on the person and the sentiments behind it...

 

[yanekie25]

I just have to say John''s post brought me nearly to tears. OMG

 

[HollyGo-Lightly]

I barely know anyone who finds a diamond ITSELF to be a symbol. It is purely status, as most people finance and use credit cards. I have too many friends with large rings and no money in their banks. Personally, i think the act of giving a gift of engagement like a simple band could be symbolic, but nowadays it seems people are simply too materialistic to be happy with just a simple engagement band or a silver ring...

of course, there are a few of us who don''t care about size and all that, but most young couples seem to want the bigger the better!

 

[northstar_78]

For 99.9% of my life I''ve been living blissfully ignorant of diamonds...I''ve just never had a thing for jewelry! My dad has this joke that he likes to throw around, how when I was in college I lost my sterling silver toe ring on the beach and I was complaining about it then my sister walks in wearing her huge right-hand diamond ring on her finger...then I got bitten by the engagement ring bug and actually had to start looking at the things seriously.

You''ve got to thank the diamond industry for their splashy campaigns. My best friend was fretting about how her boyfriend thinks that he has to stick to the one-month''s salary rule. Mine says that once I decide (it''s so hard!), then we''ll discuss it in terms of $$$. But I''m a sensible person with little fingers so he knows that I''m not dreaming of a huge rock!

Does one month''s salary really equal marriage, love, and committment? I''d like to think that our relationship is worth more than that on a monetary scale!! I could be pragmatic about this and say that investing in an engagement ring is investing in your future together. But what does that make the diamond, a down-payment on your life?

Someone posted earlier saying that her husband liked to give her diamonds because of how they made her feel...I like the sound of that. Money is not in this equation. He gives her something because she loves it, and he loves how this gift makes her feel!

 

[Carey]

I think anyone with any sense will agree that a diamond is just a ''thing'', and no ''thing'' means love, but it can convey status, if that''s what you''re looking for. Personally my DH and I married 27 years ago with no diamond - we had NO money, and just wanted to spend our lives together. We''ve shared some wonderful times and some rough times, and with lots of love, humor and grit, we''re still holding hands and ridiculously happy with each other. Our last anniversary he gave me a gorgeous 1.25 carat platinum anniversary band, and he couldn''t believe how much I love it. It stands for a lot of our history, but, to be totally honest I CAN''T stop staring at the sparkles! I love the rainbows that erupt from it, and he loves how much I love it! Now he''s decided that we should start planning to add a ''significant'' stone ring to that finger - I think he likes them (diamonds) as much as I do!

Yes, we have more money than we did when we were younger, but I don''t give a rat''s hoo-hoo whether anybody else likes the ring I get or not - this is about my hubby & I. Lots of women in this area have huge diamonds and some have lousy lives, although plenty are happy campers, too. I certainly won''t discuss how much it costs with anyone (except maybe you guys), and I think my friends/relatives will be happy for me, since I''ve ''oohed'' and ''ahhhed'' over all their glittery acquisitions!

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 12/20/2004 10:36:14 AM
Author: treysar
Hm - what does my diamond mean to me..

Before i got engaged, I never paid attention to diamonds - at all. I never asked to see any of my friends rings, it never even occured to me to do that. Never noticed what my 3 older sisers had,  size ,shape, nothing.  When my fiance proposed, he got on his knee, opened the ring box, and i bent down and hugged him. about 5 minutes later, he said, ''are you going to put it on?'' I didn''t even relize I was holding the box - never really even looked at the ring. But let me tell you, the second it went on my finger, it was like I turned into a diamond maniac. The WEIRDEST THING - I never even NOTICED diamonds, and now I enjoy public places like the grocery store, the diner, etc so i can STARE at people''s hands!

As much as I am a totally obscene diamond maniac, the diamond to me, is not at all about love or my relationship. How hard he looked for the stone, the time he spent learning, the fact that he brought his Mom to help him pick the right stone, the PROMISE, the ''Will You Marry Me'' is SO TOTALLY PRICELESS to me. The sparkly is totally wonderful, but in the scheme of things, it''s just a bonus compared to what is behind the ring - the wonderful life that we will build together - I am SO EXCITED for that!

But as excited as I am for the future,

I am also excited for future DIAMONDS!!

Treysar,

It''s great to read this perspective. I especially love the part where once the ring goes on you ''suddenly'' transform into a diamond diva

Let me tell you, that''s the way many GUYS feel when coming to PS to begin their search for diamonds... This whole new world of overwhelming but compelling information. It''s easy to get drawn in and, suddenly, begin taking note of what girls (and guys) are wearing where you never did before.

I think this is yet another testament as to why the diamond is accepted as it has been marketed - and a good response to the initial question in the thread.

Not everyone notices diamonds for implied ''status'', but once it becomes personal to you you will certainly notice and embrace your own for ''love.''