Diamonds mean love? Or Status?

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 12/22/2004 7:39

5 PM
Author: Carey
I think anyone with any sense will agree that a diamond is just a ''thing'', and no ''thing'' means love, but it can convey status, if that''s what you''re looking for. Personally my DH and I married 27 years ago with no diamond - we had NO money, and just wanted to spend our lives together. We''ve shared some wonderful times and some rough times, and with lots of love, humor and grit, we''re still holding hands and ridiculously happy with each other. Our last anniversary he gave me a gorgeous 1.25 carat platinum anniversary band, and he couldn''t believe how much I love it. It stands for a lot of our history, but, to be totally honest I CAN''T stop staring at the sparkles! I love the rainbows that erupt from it, and he loves how much I love it! Now he''s decided that we should start planning to add a ''significant'' stone ring to that finger - I think he likes them (diamonds) as much as I do!

Carey,

What a terrific story...See the last sentence of my reply to Treysar.

 

[JohnQuixote]

Date: 12/20/2004 7:19

4 AM
Author: Lord Summerisle

John, you certainly put into words what I (and it seems many others) feel.

Taking that, and wanting to add to it… now looking at asking the girl of my dreams to be with me… we take it as a serious commitment – that this will be a symbol of my love to her… not because of any marketing campaign, but simply ‘because’
I want to put into a physical thing, something that really cannot be quantified. Size does not matter – but I want to get the best for her as I can… and I want the person who cut the diamond to have taken the same care over it, as I care for her, I want it to shine as brightly and as beautifully as I find she sparkles. We, nor our parents have ever felt the need for ‘upgrading’ the diamond, it’s a non issue… the ring and stone where given at a time as a symbol of our (and their) love, and well, I could ramble on.
But as said we treasure objects, and place a value on them over and above that which we paid for them. In the way a Black Bird hordes silver shiny items… we horde that we are given. My mum wears her late sister’s engagement ring, which her brother-in-law gave her, and he passed on to me his wedding band after he died earlier this year. Which I plan to wear.

Many thanks, Lord S.

You touch on an interesting point which is bandied about hither and yon: Passed-down pieces.

For the ladies out there - Given the now-generations-long tradition of the diamond e-ring, how many do you see/hear about passed down as heirloom pieces from a family member? More or less than you might expect?

In general, what do girls think of a passed-down e-ring as it relates to the "status" and "love" aspects of the thread's original question?

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 12/22/2004 8:18:50 PM
Author: JohnQuixote



Many thanks, Lord S.

You touch on an interesting point which is bandied about hither and yon: Passed-down pieces.

For the ladies out there - Given the now-generations-long tradition of the diamond e-ring, how many do you see/hear about passed down as heirloom pieces from a family member? More or less than you might expect?

In general, what do girls think of a passed-down e-ring as it relates to the ''status'' and ''love'' aspects of the thread''s original question?

This is nothing new under the sun. It has been a long standing Southern tradition. A tradition that mean more now in the arena of divorce - i.e. lost family heirloom. I have mine (hubby''s grandmother''s) in the safety deposit box for HIS neice (will guarantee staying the family) or HIS nephew (won''t guarantee) when they become serious about a relationship. It'' a very well cut 1.25 OEC - G/Si1 w/ med. blue fluor set in an illusion period setting. My 3c is willed to my sister.

 

[perry]

I rarely wonder over to this forum. Perhaps I should more often... Time...

Garry: Thank you for asking such a wonderful question:

To all the others - you have posted many great comments.

I think special recognition needs to go to John. Mr. Quixote indeed. Well done - you have done a service for us all by speaking the truth so many of us have a hard time translating to works.

I hold Nicrez's situation in mind as that is what I am doing.... ( I hope).

Onto the question:

Yes to all of the reasons.

Diamonds can mean love, they can mean status, they can mean a lot of things. What they mean to each of us: Guy and Gal, is different.

I remember that when I set out to research diamonds it was not specifically about size, nor was size unimportant. I was blown away by the prices, and my GF is still blown away by the prices.

In the end, I decided that the symbolism of what I got was, and is, more important than the size or cost. In my case I want to build a "Special" ring for her... We have agreed on a 3 stone ring and I presented it as the smaller side stones represents what each of us are and can do by ourselves. The center stone represents what we are and can do as we help each other as a couple, and the total ring carat weight represents the sum total of who we are individually and as a couple.... (the power of 2 is much greater than 1+1).

Now to date she has not said yes to marriage, and I am not going to buy the center stone untll she does (she has agreed to this). Unkown to her - I have the side stones being appriased right now. Since I am looking for something special - they took almost a month to find after several vendors agreed to do the search for them.

To me the love is also in how much care I have put into the diamond selection process. How much carring is there when people just walk into a store and buy something in short order just to buy a diamond ring?

This is intended to be the only engagement ring I ever buy. I have one chance to do it right, and it is the doing it right that matters more than the size of the diamond (and I do not have the $ for some of the size of rings mentioned above - I will be paying cash, not charging it on credit: Thus, while she is certainly worth a many carat diamond - the center stone will probably be between 3/4 to 1 carat).

However, I started the process by writing down what was important about the ring: Here is the list from September that I presented to my GF:

What are you getting (quality, size, style).

Symbolism of the ring for you and me (3 stone concept).

Symbolism of the ring for other people.

One time purchase - one chance to get it right.

How it makes you feel.

How it makes you feel towards me.

Image it presents to other people.

Currently, in reviewing the list I see that it is well endowed with both love and some considerations of status. I feel that well cut diamonds will be sufficient to overcome some of the size status out there (the ring will sprakle and dazzle in ordinary light - it ought to compare well to the 99% of dead stones out there).

And with diamonds the 5th and 6th C's rule: Cost and Compromise. Still they will be something special - something you can not easily get from any of the pricescope vendors.

While my GF has her mother's ring - that ring is her keepsake and she would not consider using it herself. If she agrees to get engaged - she want's here own ring.

Finally, currently to date she has been blown over by how much effort I have put into learning about qualtity diamonds and my quest for the "perfect" ring (she will be selecting the setting - and has offered to pay for that to help with my budget).

Thus, like many - there is a mix involved. But to me the most important thing to both her and me is the symbolism.

Now if she will say yes....

Perry

 

[JohnQuixote]

Perry, thank you for the high praise.

Further, thanks for sharing your process. I know how thorough you are in everything you do from reading your ponderings, praise and protests

I think this is a great bit of insight into a very romantic way of doing something to the nth degree.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

Very nice stuff Perry.,

Wishing a very peaceful and happy seasons greetings to you all.

 

[Queenofhearts]

I am fairly new to this forum. I do not know a lot about diamonds so I do a lot more reading then posting here, but I am going to put my two cents in on this thread.

When or if I receive a diamond from my partner, I look at it as being a symbol of our affection for one another in our relationship. The diamond being a form of something beautiful and unique is just a symbol or can be referred to as a token of appreciation for the party receiving the said item.

I don''t believe it has to mean "trying to keep up with the Jones".

Just what i think.

 

[Julian]

Congrats on your 20th engagement, Fire&Ice! I'm sure your ring is gorgeous.

But I have to disagree with your comment about a big rock looking dopey on a younger woman. We have the same size RB and I promise mine doesn't look dopey on me, a 20-something.

I think all diamonds, regardless of size, look beautiful on everyone -- regardless of age.

 

[Jennifer5973]

A diamond is a thing, nothing more. When given with love by someone special, it is a special thing, but a thing no less. I think we all know that love, family (including pets), friends, and honor are far more important than any thing could ever be.

We all love our homes, our cars, our diamonds, our whatever--it is okay to work hard and buy/love nice things, as long as you are grounded.

In the end, dust to dust, ashes to ashes. The life you've lived is what you take with you in the end, the legacy you've created and the value of your soul.... You can't take all the "things" with you--but you can enjoy them while you're here.

 

[Garry H (Cut Nut)]

Well as it happens i had lunch with some friends today, and Mary asked; how much do people spend on an engagement ring?

I said it depends - it depends on the people and their perception of what is appropriate.
that is sort of what this thread is about.
In our community, a young rural country engagement ring average might be in the $400-$800 range. An urban financial planning executive in his mid thirties might expect to spend $10-30k range.

This decision is one that is influenced by position and status. A young rural labrourer might be very happy to spend $40k on a vehicle, but if he did present hsi loved one with a 2ct diamond - his friends and family would wonder what the hell he was on about.

Equally, a .25ct enagaement ring for someone earning 6 figures might be inappropriate.

None of this relates to the quality of love or the relationship of two people in love.

After lunch Drena and I went and saw the 2nd Bridget Jones Diary movie. The theme of this movie is a fairly typical one of a girl moving above her percieved station or position in society. In the next movie what sized diamone solitaire should expect her to be given?