ForteKitty
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2004
- Messages
- 5,239
My good friend has been having marital issues. They lived in another state (his home state), been married 8 years, together for 10. Her husband had a rough childhood and has a lot of social issues which stemmed from being verbally abused and neglected.
They were going thru a rough patch last year, and he asked for a trial separation. Few months later, they got back together and decided to work on things. A few months ago, they decided to move back to her hometown in Los Angeles. A few weeks ago, she decided she never got over the hurt and realized she was harboring a lot of resentment towards how he treated her in the past.
They both have issues. She changed a lot to fit into his expectations. He was the first and only man she has ever dated. He has only known half of his wife, and not the whole wife. Now that she is back in her home turf, the rest of her emerged. It was a shock as he never knew that side of her.
Both of them have been to counseling, as a couple, and as individuals. He has trust/anger issues, she has self esteem issues.
She recently asked for another trial separation. And at the urging of her counselor, she asked for the ability to see other people during the break. He didn't want to lose her, so he agreed. He is also moving back to his home state (at the recommendation of her counselor) to work out his own issues with his primary counselor.
This really disturbed me. She is asking me for dating advice, and I just cannot get past what her counselor recommended. I want her to talk to someone else, but she firmly believes this professional knows what she's talking about.
Somehow i dont understand how being separated by 2500 miles and an ocean, WITH the ability to date others will help their marriage? I'm trying to be supportive, but it's really hard.
Professional counselors, do you agree with that method?
eta: her counselor said that the only way she will know if he is truly the ONE, is if she dates around and realize her husband is the best for her. wtf?!
They were going thru a rough patch last year, and he asked for a trial separation. Few months later, they got back together and decided to work on things. A few months ago, they decided to move back to her hometown in Los Angeles. A few weeks ago, she decided she never got over the hurt and realized she was harboring a lot of resentment towards how he treated her in the past.
They both have issues. She changed a lot to fit into his expectations. He was the first and only man she has ever dated. He has only known half of his wife, and not the whole wife. Now that she is back in her home turf, the rest of her emerged. It was a shock as he never knew that side of her.
Both of them have been to counseling, as a couple, and as individuals. He has trust/anger issues, she has self esteem issues.
She recently asked for another trial separation. And at the urging of her counselor, she asked for the ability to see other people during the break. He didn't want to lose her, so he agreed. He is also moving back to his home state (at the recommendation of her counselor) to work out his own issues with his primary counselor.
This really disturbed me. She is asking me for dating advice, and I just cannot get past what her counselor recommended. I want her to talk to someone else, but she firmly believes this professional knows what she's talking about.
Somehow i dont understand how being separated by 2500 miles and an ocean, WITH the ability to date others will help their marriage? I'm trying to be supportive, but it's really hard.
Professional counselors, do you agree with that method?
eta: her counselor said that the only way she will know if he is truly the ONE, is if she dates around and realize her husband is the best for her. wtf?!