tabu
Shiny_Rock
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- Nov 13, 2008
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- 205
Do you want children?
- Thread starter sugary
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ladypirate
Ideal_Rock
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- Jul 30, 2007
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onvacation
Brilliant_Rock
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- Nov 9, 2007
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Lauren8211
Super_Ideal_Rock
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- Apr 25, 2008
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FF never wanted kids until he met me. For some reason, once he could envision the mother of his child, he started to like the idea.
He loves cute little girls with their daddies. He''ll comment on it all the time when we''re in public. He can''t wait to have daddy/daughter time. I think it''s adorable.
I''ve never felt really maternal with other people''s kids, but I like kids that are related to me, or that I know personally. Large groups of unsupervised children is one of my great fears in life.
We''ll start having kids in about 4-5 years. Right about when I''m 30, he''s 33, and we have a couple of years of marriage under our belts.
He loves cute little girls with their daddies. He''ll comment on it all the time when we''re in public. He can''t wait to have daddy/daughter time. I think it''s adorable.
I''ve never felt really maternal with other people''s kids, but I like kids that are related to me, or that I know personally. Large groups of unsupervised children is one of my great fears in life.
We''ll start having kids in about 4-5 years. Right about when I''m 30, he''s 33, and we have a couple of years of marriage under our belts.
wishful
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 20, 2008
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- 723
It''s a NO for us. Barring any "mistakes" in which case we''d go ahead and do the right thing.
But I watch way too much of the Nanny to get that glossed over "oh I just love kids" feeling.
I''ve never really had the desire and I feel at best, uncomfortable around kids. I just don''t know what to do with them and I certainly don''t feel like I have any "right" to say or do anything with them. After all, they''re not mine.
$$ is a big issue too. Right now we are ok and we live a nice life. But if we had kids that would all come to a screetching halt. No travel, no vacations,couldn''t afford nice healthy organic food, probalby all the $$ we make would be put towards a private school for the child since I''m not a huge fan of public school quality (they vary from district to district) and the crappy food they feed them.
So much would be out of my control. (guns, drugs, kidnapping). So much that I feel is very important,I think I''d be on edge 99.9% of the time. So that sort of thing has been the final nail in the coffin on the issue. Oh and the fact that I turn 36 next month and I am no where NEAR ready to do it so I''d be closer to 40 and that just aint gonna happen.
I guess somtimes (esp after I''ve had a few glasses of wine hhaaaa) I see the good in kids like most people...they''re cute, funny, smart beyond their years, so much of parenthood can be rewarding. But in the end it''s a crapshoot. A gamble. So many other aspects of life influence how your child grows up and turns out that it''s really scary to me.
But I watch way too much of the Nanny to get that glossed over "oh I just love kids" feeling.
I''ve never really had the desire and I feel at best, uncomfortable around kids. I just don''t know what to do with them and I certainly don''t feel like I have any "right" to say or do anything with them. After all, they''re not mine.
$$ is a big issue too. Right now we are ok and we live a nice life. But if we had kids that would all come to a screetching halt. No travel, no vacations,couldn''t afford nice healthy organic food, probalby all the $$ we make would be put towards a private school for the child since I''m not a huge fan of public school quality (they vary from district to district) and the crappy food they feed them.
So much would be out of my control. (guns, drugs, kidnapping). So much that I feel is very important,I think I''d be on edge 99.9% of the time. So that sort of thing has been the final nail in the coffin on the issue. Oh and the fact that I turn 36 next month and I am no where NEAR ready to do it so I''d be closer to 40 and that just aint gonna happen.
I guess somtimes (esp after I''ve had a few glasses of wine hhaaaa) I see the good in kids like most people...they''re cute, funny, smart beyond their years, so much of parenthood can be rewarding. But in the end it''s a crapshoot. A gamble. So many other aspects of life influence how your child grows up and turns out that it''s really scary to me.
MissDimity
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 31, 2008
- Messages
- 209
We plan to have kids within a year after getting married.
My SO was the first to start the topic of having children, when he said during a romantic interlude " I want to have your babies" , and I just remember laughing as I said that I didn''t think it was physically possible that he would be able to fall pregnant.
My SO was the first to start the topic of having children, when he said during a romantic interlude " I want to have your babies" , and I just remember laughing as I said that I didn''t think it was physically possible that he would be able to fall pregnant.
Eden
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2008
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- 19
Great topic - one that is a bit of an issue for me personally at the moment. I''ll try to comment without threadjacking!!
My ex husband and I always assumed we would have kids one day - we were together from ages 16-29 and it seemed like a long way off. After messing me about for several years with his commitment issues (and yes I am an idiot for letting him do it) I now feel that he has ruined my best years and chances of having children as I am almost 33. Incidentally his new girlfriend of less than a year is now pregnant (although she is almost 40, she does have a child from her first marriage) and I''m pretty miffed about it to be honest although of course he has every right to carry on with his life, just as I do.
My current boyfriend isn''t deperately keen to have children right now but we both have the same idea that the relationship has to be right and agree we are heading in this direction. Although he hasn''t ruled out having any, I''m aware that I waited in my first marriage because we started having problems and now in a new releationship the time is not quite right just yet. I run the risk of not having any kids at all while really wanting at least one! I never imagined not having kids by the time I was 30 and I''m struggling a little with the age thing.
Anyway to answer the original question, I would love to have children but realise that it just may not work out that way for me. I have a dog, a cat, some fish and a horse though. Oh and a three year old neice.
When did life get so complicated eh?
Eden
xx
My ex husband and I always assumed we would have kids one day - we were together from ages 16-29 and it seemed like a long way off. After messing me about for several years with his commitment issues (and yes I am an idiot for letting him do it) I now feel that he has ruined my best years and chances of having children as I am almost 33. Incidentally his new girlfriend of less than a year is now pregnant (although she is almost 40, she does have a child from her first marriage) and I''m pretty miffed about it to be honest although of course he has every right to carry on with his life, just as I do.
My current boyfriend isn''t deperately keen to have children right now but we both have the same idea that the relationship has to be right and agree we are heading in this direction. Although he hasn''t ruled out having any, I''m aware that I waited in my first marriage because we started having problems and now in a new releationship the time is not quite right just yet. I run the risk of not having any kids at all while really wanting at least one! I never imagined not having kids by the time I was 30 and I''m struggling a little with the age thing.
Anyway to answer the original question, I would love to have children but realise that it just may not work out that way for me. I have a dog, a cat, some fish and a horse though. Oh and a three year old neice.
When did life get so complicated eh?
Eden
xx
Blackpaw
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 26, 2008
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- 2,469
SO and I have had a couple of discussions about children. Im like Wishful - uncomfortable is the best i can usually do around kids, though irritated is more likely
So ive never been interested in having them. SO feels the same way though more for the reason that the lifestyle we could have without them is many times more appealing to him than that pitter-patter... But we had another discussion about it just before we started looking at property to buy. Because Im quite young (25) he wanted to ask me what we''ld do if i changed my mind on children, if i could still be happy with him and no kids. So I think its really important to keep talking about that issue as im sure, over time, feelings do change. SO has more recently said that if i turned around suddenly and wanted children he would just ''cop it on the chin'' as it were. Nevertheless i dont anticipate this happening and if it did, again i feel like not having children isnt so bad for me as i could keep doing all the things that make life fulfilling and cost a lot of money...ie, travelling, scuba diving etc...
Eden - im so sorry for the position you''re in, it must be so hard. Hopefully if it gets a bit late for you age-wise adoption will still be an option?
Ladypirate - DITTO on the cats
Eden - im so sorry for the position you''re in, it must be so hard. Hopefully if it gets a bit late for you age-wise adoption will still be an option?
Ladypirate - DITTO on the cats
Pushin40
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2008
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- 617
Thats a BIG NO for us.
Funny thing is, starting at about 12, I was serioulsy one of these "I was put on this Earth to be a mother" types. I wanted TONS of them and I didn''t want to work (what was I thinking??)
Time went on, the stars didn''t align with the right man......then in my early 30''s I realized....
I love my life! I love my independance! I love not having to be 100% responsible for another human being''s existiaence. We don''t even have a dog!! We travel a lot, we are all over the place, and we are fullfilled.
I used to have a very romantisized impression of parenthood. Now I see how much work it really is. I''ve aslo seen too many broken marriages and the kdis are the ones that pay.
There are enough babies out there without me adding to the mix!
Funny thing is, starting at about 12, I was serioulsy one of these "I was put on this Earth to be a mother" types. I wanted TONS of them and I didn''t want to work (what was I thinking??)
Time went on, the stars didn''t align with the right man......then in my early 30''s I realized....
I love my life! I love my independance! I love not having to be 100% responsible for another human being''s existiaence. We don''t even have a dog!! We travel a lot, we are all over the place, and we are fullfilled.
I used to have a very romantisized impression of parenthood. Now I see how much work it really is. I''ve aslo seen too many broken marriages and the kdis are the ones that pay.
There are enough babies out there without me adding to the mix!
chocolatefudge
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2007
- Messages
- 383
I definitely want kids, and so does SO. It''s strange because he is far more interested in having a baby than getting married- when surely a child is a bigger commitment??
We do talk about it a lot and when we are married I would want to start trying for a baby pretty quickly. I think for SO, he was never interested in babaies until his sister had her two little boys and now he''s sooooo in love with them he would love his own!
We do talk about it a lot and when we are married I would want to start trying for a baby pretty quickly. I think for SO, he was never interested in babaies until his sister had her two little boys and now he''s sooooo in love with them he would love his own!
elrohwen
Ideal_Rock
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- May 20, 2008
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- 5,542
I agree with the others that it''s such an important question to ask. It can definitely be a deal breaker!
When people ask me about kids, I say I''ll have them in 10 years. Unfortunately, I''ve said the same thing for the past few years but I keep getting older. Haha. I have no desire to have kids in the near future, but I''m convinced that some day, in my early 30s, I''ll be ready for it. I''m an only child of parents who didn''t think they wanted kids when they first got married, so I''m expecting to take a similar path. FI isn''t crazy about kids in general, but he knows he wants them eventually. He says he wants 2, but I tell him we''ll have 1 and negotiate after that
I do worry that the time will never feel right and I won''t want a kid ... but we''ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I''m convinced we''ll be ready some day.
It is adorable to see him around kids and I know he''d be a great dad. He''s not really into them at first, but kids are always into him! Any random baby we''re sitting next to will just stare at him and smile whenever he smiles. Toddlers jump all over him and try to get him to play. Seeing that makes me feel like our time to have kids will come and we''ll be great parents.
For now I''m just working on getting him to let me have a puppy
When people ask me about kids, I say I''ll have them in 10 years. Unfortunately, I''ve said the same thing for the past few years but I keep getting older. Haha. I have no desire to have kids in the near future, but I''m convinced that some day, in my early 30s, I''ll be ready for it. I''m an only child of parents who didn''t think they wanted kids when they first got married, so I''m expecting to take a similar path. FI isn''t crazy about kids in general, but he knows he wants them eventually. He says he wants 2, but I tell him we''ll have 1 and negotiate after that
I do worry that the time will never feel right and I won''t want a kid ... but we''ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I''m convinced we''ll be ready some day.
It is adorable to see him around kids and I know he''d be a great dad. He''s not really into them at first, but kids are always into him! Any random baby we''re sitting next to will just stare at him and smile whenever he smiles. Toddlers jump all over him and try to get him to play. Seeing that makes me feel like our time to have kids will come and we''ll be great parents.
For now I''m just working on getting him to let me have a puppy
AllieGator
Shiny_Rock
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- Dec 1, 2008
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- 316
We want kids...far down the road. We''ll most likely get married pretty young (I''ll be 22, he''ll be 24), and we''ve decided that we will wait until I am at least 30...that will give us time to get our grad degrees, travel, and enjoy being single. We both want to be parents, but we don''t feel any need to do it right away. We''d like to enjoy our marriage alone first.
prettylnpink419
Shiny_Rock
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- Oct 17, 2008
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- 165
My BF and I definitely want to have babies. I''ve always felt like I was meant to be a mom! It''s something I''ve always looked forward to. I''ve told him a few times that we''ll probably have a baby within a year of being married. I''ll be 26 and he''ll be 27 in 2009 and we aren''t engaged yet. We''ve talked about a 10/10 wedding so I figure I''ll probably have my first child around 28.
Children can definitely be a deal breaker. I have a good friend that got married in 2006 and is in the process of a divorce right now. She knew from the beginning she wanted kids, she also knew from the beginning he wasn''t crazy about the idea. I think she figured that once they got married and finished grad school that would all change. But it didn''t. He moved to L.A. for a job and she was supposed to follow shortly after...she works at a school so needed to finish the semester. She never followed so now they live on opposite sides of the country and have just decided to move on and find what they both want. It''s really sad b/c they were the most amazing, perfect couple and I was sure they''d be together forever. But she was not willing to let go of her dreams of being a mom...nor should she! That definitely drove them apart.
I''m so glad my BF and I are on the same page about kids. I want 2-3, I think at one point he said 4 but we''ll see how it goes. It''ll all depend on finances too I''m sure. Definitely 2 children are in our future and I can''t wait! He''s going to be such a great father!
Children can definitely be a deal breaker. I have a good friend that got married in 2006 and is in the process of a divorce right now. She knew from the beginning she wanted kids, she also knew from the beginning he wasn''t crazy about the idea. I think she figured that once they got married and finished grad school that would all change. But it didn''t. He moved to L.A. for a job and she was supposed to follow shortly after...she works at a school so needed to finish the semester. She never followed so now they live on opposite sides of the country and have just decided to move on and find what they both want. It''s really sad b/c they were the most amazing, perfect couple and I was sure they''d be together forever. But she was not willing to let go of her dreams of being a mom...nor should she! That definitely drove them apart.
I''m so glad my BF and I are on the same page about kids. I want 2-3, I think at one point he said 4 but we''ll see how it goes. It''ll all depend on finances too I''m sure. Definitely 2 children are in our future and I can''t wait! He''s going to be such a great father!
Dreamgirl
Ideal_Rock
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- Mar 25, 2008
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- 5,070
FF and I have discussed this more than once. A lot within the past year. I think we are kind of on the fence about children. We really feel like we don't want them because it cost so much money, we really want to travel and all the torture you have to go through by having them and dealing with all their problems. If they choose not to listen to you and end up being crack addicts......
On the other hand, he brings up often that we are both 27 and how he has read several times that you should have kids by 35. I tell him we aren't even married yet! (where's the ring? lol) I'd like to AT LEAST be married for quite a few years and spend that time alone together before even thinking about kids. I think it's one of those....'one step at a time/we will cross that bridge when we get to it' sort of situations.
I like kids when they are well behaved and happy little children. They can be very cute. Babies when they are quiet and don't crap their diapers are adorable. I sometimes think about what our children would look like. They would be adorable! But I loathe children with a passion when they scream and throw tantrums. I hate bratty kids. I HATE them.
On the other hand, he brings up often that we are both 27 and how he has read several times that you should have kids by 35. I tell him we aren't even married yet! (where's the ring? lol) I'd like to AT LEAST be married for quite a few years and spend that time alone together before even thinking about kids. I think it's one of those....'one step at a time/we will cross that bridge when we get to it' sort of situations.
I like kids when they are well behaved and happy little children. They can be very cute. Babies when they are quiet and don't crap their diapers are adorable. I sometimes think about what our children would look like. They would be adorable! But I loathe children with a passion when they scream and throw tantrums. I hate bratty kids. I HATE them.
Bia
Ideal_Rock
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- Mar 28, 2008
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LOL!!! You kill me...you REALLY do!Date: 12/10/2008 1:58:01 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
FF and I have discussed this more than once. A lot within the past year. I think we are kind of on the fence about children. We really feel like we don''t want them because it cost so much money, we really want to travel and all the torture you have to go through by having them and dealing with all their problems. If they choose not to listen to you and end up being crack addicts......
On the other hand, he brings up often that we are both 27 and how he has read several times that you should have kids by 35. I tell him we aren''t even married yet! (where''s the ring? lol) I''d like to AT LEAST be married for quite a few years and spend that time alone together before even thinking about kids. I think it''s one of those....''one step at a time/we will cross that bridge when we get to it'' sort of situations.
I like kids when they are well behaved and happy little children. They can be very cute. Babies when they are quite and don''t crap their diapers are adorable. But I loathe children with a passion when they scream and throw tantrums. I hate bratty kids. I HATE them.
Thomperchik
Shiny_Rock
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- Jul 11, 2008
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- 303
I''m glad someone brought this thread up... I don''t know if I want to have children. Perhaps it was because I grew up with 5 brothers and a sister, and that just scared the hell out of me to be honest!
My SO and I have talked about it. It doesn''t seem like an immediate want for us right now. We agreed that in 10 years we will start trying or at least adopt a child at some point within my thirties. However, if I''m fortunate to have one, then it will be a blessing!
*Danielle*
Shiny_Rock
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- Oct 4, 2008
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- 335
Dreamgirl
Ideal_Rock
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heheDate: 12/10/2008 2:01:14 PM
Author: Bia
LOL!!! You kill me...you REALLY do!Date: 12/10/2008 1:58:01 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
If they choose not to listen to you and end up being crack addicts......
I like kids when they are well behaved and happy little children. They can be very cute. Babies when they are quiet and don''t crap their diapers are adorable. But I loathe children with a passion when they scream and throw tantrums. I hate bratty kids. I HATE them.
(Your highlights made me realize I spelt quiet wrong so I went back and corrected it.
lala2332
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 535
BF really wants kids. Like cannot imagine his life without them.
I''m more on the fence. I am so not a kids/baby person. I really don''t like them, except my neices and nephew, who I adore. So I think I would be fine with my own, since i''m ok with the ones I know. Miranda on Sex and the city talks about this after she has her baby.
Random people''s kids tend to annoy me, but honestly I usually think its the parenting more than the child. THis kind kept trying to hand me his train in the line at panera a coupel of weeks ago..his grandmother thought it was adorable, I couldn''t even manage a smile. I was so annoyed that I was expected to be cute and sweet to this kid who wanders over to me....that is just not ok with me. I wouldn''t be swet and cute to an adult that did that.
Anyway, it will be awhile...earliest will be early to mid 30s.
I''m more on the fence. I am so not a kids/baby person. I really don''t like them, except my neices and nephew, who I adore. So I think I would be fine with my own, since i''m ok with the ones I know. Miranda on Sex and the city talks about this after she has her baby.
Random people''s kids tend to annoy me, but honestly I usually think its the parenting more than the child. THis kind kept trying to hand me his train in the line at panera a coupel of weeks ago..his grandmother thought it was adorable, I couldn''t even manage a smile. I was so annoyed that I was expected to be cute and sweet to this kid who wanders over to me....that is just not ok with me. I wouldn''t be swet and cute to an adult that did that.
Anyway, it will be awhile...earliest will be early to mid 30s.
prettylnpink419
Shiny_Rock
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- Oct 17, 2008
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- 165
mayachel
Brilliant_Rock
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As someone who''s career revolves around women and babies, my boyfriend and i have not only discussed children, but that I hope to be able to birth at home with a midwife-and...that if we assume we are still together when I''m turning 30 it is important to me to that we start trying to conceive that year, ring or no ring. I''m 27 now, and we''ve been together for 3 1/2 years, and have known one another for ages before that, so I feel pretty stable. Children were a non-negotiable for me. Originally, my boyfriend had a lot of reservations, but is on the same page as me now. We''ve even discussed religious upbringing of those hypothetical kids as we are mixed faith couple.
On a more general note, as others have mentioned, I do believe that these are very important things to discuss within couples who are talking about or planning to marry.
On a more general note, as others have mentioned, I do believe that these are very important things to discuss within couples who are talking about or planning to marry.
IloveAsschers13
Brilliant_Rock
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- Apr 27, 2008
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- 896
Date: 12/10/2008 1:58:01 PM
Author: Dreamgirl
FF and I have discussed this more than once. A lot within the past year. I think we are kind of on the fence about children. We really feel like we don''t want them because it cost so much money, we really want to travel and all the torture you have to go through by having them and dealing with all their problems. If they choose not to listen to you and end up being crack addicts......
On the other hand, he brings up often that we are both 27 and how he has read several times that you should have kids by 35. I tell him we aren''t even married yet! (where''s the ring? lol) I''d like to AT LEAST be married for quite a few years and spend that time alone together before even thinking about kids. I think it''s one of those....''one step at a time/we will cross that bridge when we get to it'' sort of situations.
I like kids when they are well behaved and happy little children. They can be very cute. Babies when they are quiet and don''t crap their diapers are adorable. I sometimes think about what our children would look like. They would be adorable! But I loathe children with a passion when they scream and throw tantrums. I hate bratty kids. I HATE them.
Remember, the way kids are parented/raised has a lot to do with how they act!
smithsmith
Rough_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 23, 2007
- Messages
- 67
It would be a big fat NO for me, and BF is in totally with me on this one. In fact, I had my tubes tied 7 years ago and feel that was an awesome decision for me. I don''t tell most people this, though, since folks tend to think that I am the spawn of Satan for doing such a thing! When people ask me what my baby plans are, I just say, "Oh, well I''m not even married yet, how can I think about babies!"
But yeah, you definitely need to hash this one out and be in total agreement before even getting engaged. Talk about a deal- and relationship-killer if the other person fells differently re: having kids.
But yeah, you definitely need to hash this one out and be in total agreement before even getting engaged. Talk about a deal- and relationship-killer if the other person fells differently re: having kids.
Dreamgirl
Ideal_Rock
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Amanda.Rx
Brilliant_Rock
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I just can''t imagine my life without a family of my own. SO and I both want children one day (maybe 2-3). I think it''s romantic to create something so unique and special between you and the love of your life. Also, I love my parents and and I know how much they love me, and I thank them for the opportunities they gave me for my life. I can''t think of a better way to repay them (and get joy of of life) than to continue what they did for me and give them the joy of grandchildren.
My sister doesn''t want children (and my SO''s sister probably won''t have them), and it kills me that I won''t have a niece of nephew. I can''t imagine my family''s or my SO''s family blood line ending forever with us. It''s such a sad thought. If you don''t have children, what do you have leave behind when you leave this world?
Also, what an incredible feeling it must be to be pregnant! I can''t think of a better use for my body as a woman, and I would be heart broken of I ever found out that I was incapable of having children.
I know everyone doesn''t share the same opinion, but I think giving birth to a child and raising a family has got to be one of the most satisfying feelings in life.
My sister doesn''t want children (and my SO''s sister probably won''t have them), and it kills me that I won''t have a niece of nephew. I can''t imagine my family''s or my SO''s family blood line ending forever with us. It''s such a sad thought. If you don''t have children, what do you have leave behind when you leave this world?
Also, what an incredible feeling it must be to be pregnant! I can''t think of a better use for my body as a woman, and I would be heart broken of I ever found out that I was incapable of having children.
I know everyone doesn''t share the same opinion, but I think giving birth to a child and raising a family has got to be one of the most satisfying feelings in life.
Dreamgirl
Ideal_Rock
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Pandora II
Ideal_Rock
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Neither DH or I ever wanted kids - and then we met each other.
We spent time on the fence and then he started getting very broody about a year ago.
I''m now 4 months pg - and some days I think it''s a wonderful idea to have a baby, and others I think WTF I must have been MAD!
Oh, and I''m 36 - and got preggo within 6 weeks of TTC - so it can be done. There are lots of us in our mid-30s on the Preggo board.
I am hugely grateful that I had all the years I did to do lots of irresponsible things, live abroad and have far too much fun before getting into the marriage/kids thing.
Oh, and I''m not convinced that this birth thing isn''t a complete con. I think they just knock you out in hospital, deflate you and give you a baby from the stock-room. Or at least that''s my belief and I''m sticking to it!
We spent time on the fence and then he started getting very broody about a year ago.
I''m now 4 months pg - and some days I think it''s a wonderful idea to have a baby, and others I think WTF I must have been MAD!
Oh, and I''m 36 - and got preggo within 6 weeks of TTC - so it can be done. There are lots of us in our mid-30s on the Preggo board.
I am hugely grateful that I had all the years I did to do lots of irresponsible things, live abroad and have far too much fun before getting into the marriage/kids thing.
Oh, and I''m not convinced that this birth thing isn''t a complete con. I think they just knock you out in hospital, deflate you and give you a baby from the stock-room. Or at least that''s my belief and I''m sticking to it!
Dreamgirl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 25, 2008
- Messages
- 5,070
First, congratulations to you! Second, this sounds a little like S. He keeps bringing it up to me and I keep asking him "SO you DO want kids then?" lol his reply: "I'm just sayin..." I'm glad to hear about pregnant women over 35 because if I did have kids, I think I'm good to go at 38....but he worries about complicatons.
princesss
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2007
- Messages
- 8,035
BF and I just tackled this subject a few months ago.
He wants kids. I was on the fence, leaning strongly towards no kids ever. It obviously wasn''t fair to either of us to stay in a relationship if we weren''t working towards the same goals, so I had some thinking to do.
Turns out I do want kids. I''m just not thrilled with the idea biological kids. If I was on my own, I probably would never have a biological kid, but I would definitely adopt. Turns out he is into the whole biological thing, though, lol. So we compromised! The plan is to have one biological kid and one adopted. Now when we talk about eventually getting married and starting a family, both of us are excited.
I feel like there are great moms that haven''t always dreamed about the day they''d be a mother. At least, I hope so, because that''s what I''ll be. I love kids, but I''m very selfish and hope that the whole overwhelming love thing will help me survive without selfish time or the ability to go anywhere and spend anything I feel like, lol.
He wants kids. I was on the fence, leaning strongly towards no kids ever. It obviously wasn''t fair to either of us to stay in a relationship if we weren''t working towards the same goals, so I had some thinking to do.
Turns out I do want kids. I''m just not thrilled with the idea biological kids. If I was on my own, I probably would never have a biological kid, but I would definitely adopt. Turns out he is into the whole biological thing, though, lol. So we compromised! The plan is to have one biological kid and one adopted. Now when we talk about eventually getting married and starting a family, both of us are excited.
I feel like there are great moms that haven''t always dreamed about the day they''d be a mother. At least, I hope so, because that''s what I''ll be. I love kids, but I''m very selfish and hope that the whole overwhelming love thing will help me survive without selfish time or the ability to go anywhere and spend anything I feel like, lol.
fuzzers
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2008
- Messages
- 298
I''m one of those people who does not particularly like other people''s kids (I can think of a few brats in particular... but they are brats because of the way their parents raised them, so...). However, I also feel like I was BORN to be a mom - see my thread "I just want to get married and have babies!" lol.
Both SO and I are extremely family-oriented and don''t want to wait very long to start having children. I''m pretty confident we''ll make great parents. I see SO with kids all the time and he is wonderful. Growing up, we were both quiet kids, just ate and slept! I hope our kids inherit this trait!
I have excellent role models for parents. They were pretty strict, and as a teen I felt like they were "sooo unfair!" But I''ve grown up to realize why they did what they did. In this day and age when parents are buying iPods and Nintendo DS''s for their 4 and 5 year olds -yes, I know someone who has done this!- and all of the stuff going on in schools - the statistics that have come out saying 60 something percent of kids have cheated and don''t feel guilty!- it''s extremely important to be stern (but loving) parents. That''s my goal anyway...
I have excellent role models for parents. They were pretty strict, and as a teen I felt like they were "sooo unfair!" But I''ve grown up to realize why they did what they did. In this day and age when parents are buying iPods and Nintendo DS''s for their 4 and 5 year olds -yes, I know someone who has done this!- and all of the stuff going on in schools - the statistics that have come out saying 60 something percent of kids have cheated and don''t feel guilty!- it''s extremely important to be stern (but loving) parents. That''s my goal anyway...
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