Don''t pull a "Jessica Simpson"

[LaurenThePartier]

As a resident of Dallas, I''m kind of sad to see them part, although no one knows the real reason why they broke up besides the two of them.

Frankly, I''d have been happy if he could have thrown a football for the past 18 months . . . maybe his head will get back in the game now that he doesn''t have to worry about a long term, high profile relationship.

 

[suchende]

Date: 7/22/2009 5:09:37 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Yeah, right before her birthday was pretty crappy!!


Obviously we don't know what's true and what isn't, but seriously, I don't understand why sometimes people can't just relax and enjoy the relationship. It is like there always has to be a 'next step.' Date for 'X' yrs...get ring...get engaged...get married...have kids...blah blah blah...God forbid we don't follow 'the plan.'


If she truly was bugging him and bugging him about a 'ring' - that BUGS (pun intended!). Desperation can be very unattractive. But, true, if it was that he wasn't committing...good riddance.

To play devil's advocate, I can definitely see how things could come to a head right before a milestone/gift-giving occasion, not because he's cruel, but the camel's-back-breaking fight happened then.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:55:37 AM
Author: suchende

Date: 7/22/2009 5:09:37 PM
Author: Rock_of_Love
Yeah, right before her birthday was pretty crappy!!


Obviously we don''t know what''s true and what isn''t, but seriously, I don''t understand why sometimes people can''t just relax and enjoy the relationship. It is like there always has to be a ''next step.'' Date for ''X'' yrs...get ring...get engaged...get married...have kids...blah blah blah...God forbid we don''t follow ''the plan.''


If she truly was bugging him and bugging him about a ''ring'' - that BUGS (pun intended!). Desperation can be very unattractive. But, true, if it was that he wasn''t committing...good riddance.

To play devil''s advocate, I can definitely see how things could come to a head right before a milestone/gift-giving occasion, not because he''s cruel, but the camel''s-back-breaking fight happened then.

Ditto. You can''t help when stuff comes up, you know? Maybe he had planned on waiting, but a fight came up, and sometimes those break-up fights come at the worst possible moment. You can only hold in your feelings for so long.

 

[AllieGator]

If the tabloids are right (and they probably aren''t),I have to side with Tony on this one. There''s nothing wrong with hinting and having discussions about marriage, but to constantly have pressure on you for something you''re not ready for is wrong.

It might not even be that he''s not committed. My boyfriend has made it clear that he''s ready to be engaged, but I''m the one who''s holding it off. I know that I want to marry him and I''m committed to our future, but I feel that I''m too young to be engaged. My boyfriend doesn''t mention it. He doesn''t bother me, and I appreciate it. If he was constantly bugging me about it, it would drive me nuts and I might break up with him.

I agree with Suchende. If she really was pressuring him all he time for a ring, you can bet she was pressuring him really hard before her birthday. He might have just snapped and broken up with her. I don''t think he did it to just be a huge jerk, but you never know.

 

[Pushin40]

BTW the tabloids are a guilty indulgence for me.....

I think there is usually SOME truth in them.

I feel sorry for her. I think she''s just looking for love.

 

[iota]

Date: 7/22/2009 8:29:32 PM
Author: Keepingthefaith21

Iota - read through some of the long ago LIW posts...you'll see the the PS LIW forum has been home to plenty of ladies who didn't handle the waiting process with very much grace and plenty who barraged their boyfriends with nagging questions and plenty of pressure. Some eventually got engaged. Some did not. Others, well...we never knew what happened with them.

lol. I see now...

 

[iota]

My bf and I have been considering marriage lately... up until that point, we pretty much hadn't considered it at all.

I've been going around to local jewelers to look at pieces and get ideas. They'll usually ask me, "when do you need the ring by? when are you getting married? Have you set a date?" And I'll just say, "I don't know, I guess we'll get engaged when we find the ring." Some give me the raised eyebrow, "Oh".

But I always think, my bf's going to be there whether it happens in a month or a year. We have no deadlines. He's not going anywhere!!!

Just my two cents, and I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for this - but if he's committed to you, you'll know it for the most part. A ring, a marriage, a big sha-bang wedding doesn't change any of that. Those things just symbolize your commitment to each other to the public. He's going to feel just as committed to you a week before the wedding as he does after. In private, his commitment should be more or less clear... to you. If not, it's probably time to have a nice discussion about it.

Feeling the need to barrage/sling heavy pressure to those who are "stringing you along" more or less suggests to me that you know, in your hearts of hearts, that he isn't really all that ready at this very moment.

Don't get me wrong though ladies, I can sympathize with those who wouldn't mind sporting a big ol' sparkly sooner rather than later.

 

[suchende]

iota-- you seem very confident that your boyfriend really wants to marry you and that he''s "not going anywhere." not every girl is so sure, thus the anxiety about the symbol of commitment. i think in most cases, it''s not about a ring or lack thereof.

 

[Londongirl1]

Date: 7/25/2009 5:39:52 PM
Author: iota
My bf and I have been considering marriage lately... up until that point, we pretty much hadn't considered it at all.

I've been going around to local jewelers to look at pieces and get ideas. They'll usually ask me, 'when do you need the ring by? when are you getting married? Have you set a date?' And I'll just say, 'I don't know, I guess we'll get engaged when we find the ring.' Some give me the raised eyebrow, 'Oh'.

But I always think, my bf's going to be there whether it happens in a month or a year. We have no deadlines. He's not going anywhere!!!

Just my two cents, and I'm sure I'll get a lot of flack for this - but if he's committed to you, you'll know it for the most part. A ring, a marriage, a big sha-bang wedding doesn't change any of that. Those things just symbolize your commitment to each other to the public. He's going to feel just as committed to you a week before the wedding as he does after. In private, his commitment should be more or less clear... to you. If not, it's probably time to have a nice discussion about it.

Feeling the need to barrage/sling heavy pressure to those who are 'stringing you along' more or less suggests to me that you know, in your hearts of hearts, that he isn't really all that ready at this very moment.

Don't get me wrong though ladies, I can sympathize with those who wouldn't mind sporting a big ol' sparkly sooner rather than later.

I think you've made some genuinely good points here - so no flack from me (sometimes the truth hurts so I'm sure you won't take any flack personally)