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Elopment discussion -- wish me luck

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jas

jas

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
May 9, 2006
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As soon as I''m done posting (to build up courage) I''m going to tell my fiance that we need to seriously consider eloping. Now.

The final straw has broken this camel''s back.

I just had lunch with my MOH and two dear friends who are doing readings at the wedding. They said that my FMIL AND my Future Aunt-in-law sent official Thank You notes (on behalf of my Fiance and myself) for the bridal show my friends threw for me. My friends (bless em) thought it was tacky and totally out of place. And the funny thing is, their TYs came the same day ours did (we wrote them the very next day)

I had NO idea that they did this, and my friends told me that they weren''t going to tell me at first, but ultimately they thought I should know.

They also told me that my FILs were talking to everyone at my shower (these are my co-workers, mind you) trying to, and I quote, "get dirt" on me for the rehearsal dinner roast.

So I''m done. I can''t take another drama between his family and my family.

Wish me luck with this discussion. And, what fun, we''re having dinner w/ MY family tonight.

Jackie
 
Absolutely elope!!!

My happy hubby and I bolted for Vegas when "The Family" started to rear its ugly head and we've never regretted it.

This is all about YOU GUYS, and the result is the same whether you go and have a ceremony with only the two of you doing exactly what you want or whether you spend 12 miserable hours at *the event* on pins and needles waiting for some member of The Family to do something awful.

If you plan far enough ahead you can even have ELVIS!!!
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GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

This definitely sounds like the right choice for you, and I would do it in a heartbeat! Maybe ask if he would be okay with one or two of your most important people (parents, sister?) there if you wanted to involve them, but you DEFINITELY SHOULD NOT involve your FMIL or FAIL (hehe that acronym is so appropriate, no?) or anyone else who''s out to take over your wedding! It''s YOUUUUR WEDDING and if the only way you can get what you want (marrying him without going insane in the process) is by eloping, then ELOPE ELOPE ELOPE!!!!!
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I''ve already had one wedding, and let me tell you, when it''s all said and done, you''ll wish you had spent all that money on something else. LOL

My next marriage will be a private ceremony on the beach or an elopment with MAYBE a small reception. But no big wedding.


Good luck!!
 
Geez. If I were your fiance, I wouldn''t be all that upset at you proposing elopement. I''d be tired of dealing with my family. Actually, I was tired of dealing with my family during my wedding.
 
Good Luck Jas!! This seems like the best decision for ya''ll for sure. Hope the FI agrees. Let us know how it works out. (HUGS!)
 
Date: 8/11/2006 5:24:24 PM
Author: SanDiegoLady

I think it was thoughtful they sent thank yous..
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I have to respectfully disagree with this one.

It''s not anyone''s place but the bride/groom to send thank-yous. They are encroaching where they shouldn''t be.

I''d elope too. Hope it works out.
 
Is that the sound of bigfoot's foot coming down?

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Way to go, Jas. As much as it would have been nice to have a wedding, it will be nicer have people know their place. I firmly believe that if they walk over you now, they'll be trying to do so for the rest of your married life. Like I said, sometimes you need a line in the sand, others a moat.

As for the thank-yous, I agree in this kind of situation it's the Bride and Groom's place to do so. This is not your FMIL's gig, it's yours, and it seems she has completely ignored that. And digging up dirt on you from your co-workers so she can humiliate you even more at the 'roast'? Don't even get me started on how disgraceful that is.
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Anyway, I think you are doing the right thing. This is out of control. You were willing to give an inch, but she/they are taking a mile. Or several.


Your marriage should be about your happiness. Good for you for reclaiming that!
 
Sounds like a great decision. i have thoughts of eloping too. Good Luck
 
Oh gosh - they were WAY out of line...why are they micromanaging YOUR wedding? How infuriating! I would elope too. Would it be rude to send THEM another thank you card that says ''thank you for sending thank yous to the attendees of MY bridal shower, but I''ve got it covered, as you can see.''
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Won''t you be so happy to not have to deal with the drama anymore?
Good luck darling. I hope it works out!
 
I could understand if they wanted to thank your friends for the kindness in throwing a shower, but not FOR YOU AND YOUR FIANCE. Meaning, if they had thier own thanks to make, fine...but not on your behalf like you are children who can't do it yourselves. That is just odd. Did they not think you would do the appropriate thing and why would they care? They are YOUR friends, and I am sure you handled things appropriately. It is odd, but could possibly be overlooked in the scheme of things.

THe comment about getting dirt? SO NASTY. What a bunch of trouble makers. I would have my wedding, but not invite THEM. What is their objective? To break you up? If I wanted a wedding, I would just make sure they were not there to ruin my day. Otherwise eloping is a viable option. Good luck, stay focused and do not let them ruin things for you any more!
 
Date: 8/11/2006 4:16:42 PM
Author:jas
As soon as I''m done posting (to build up courage) I''m going to tell my fiance that we need to seriously consider eloping. Now.

The final straw has broken this camel''s back.
Click to expand...
actually the words are, I have had enough -- I wish to elope. I am no longer interested in participation in this madness. How about this saturday?

"seriously consider eloping" are weak words that sound like you don''t mean what you say.
 
I agree with ladykenna...be firm, it sounds like things are not going to get better on this front, and your best bet is to just avoid it altogether. Good luck!
 
Seriously. If you can''t tell your FMIL to BACK THE HELL OFF. RUN. Quickly. Elope. And screw''m. ((HUGS))
 
Good luck!! I know how you feel, my FI and I are going back and forth on this one!!
 
When I was reading one of your earlier posts, I couldn''t help but think you and your fiance sound like a couple who need to elope -- GO FOR IT! Your future in-laws sound like nightmares all-around. Best of luck, no matter what!!!

jen
 
Jas, did you have the discussion yet??? How did it go?
 
I''ve been thinking of you, Jas, and I hope everything went well. ((hugs!))
 
I hope things are okay for you, jas. Sending you lots of good vibes!
 
Jackie~
I just saw your post. How did it go? It sounds like you need to head to O''Hare or Midway...even just get in the car and just get the heck out of Chi-town. Good luck and hugs!!!
 
I hope she''s okay...
 
Maybe they eloped....?!
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jen
 
Nice new avatar, Jen! I gotta ask...just curious...why you chose a pic with the point facing up. Just wondering since I know you wear it the other way.
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Pear lovers...curious about all things pear.

Sorry for the hijack.
 
I was practically waiting for you to ask, FG
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hee hee --
It balanced better!
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jen

ps when I get "real" flower pics, I might be able to balance it "my way" -- even my fiance wanted to know why it was "upside down."
 
Well I loooooove it that way!!! I can enjoy it till the pic gets replaced.
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You pear buddies are cracking me up! =)

Hopefully Jas will come back and tell us she''s MARRIED!!!!!
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That''s what I''m hoping too!
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But regardless, I hope that the talk went well. Please give us an update when you get a chance!

Jen, I forgot that you wear your pear "upside down" (right side up?) until just now. You two are cracking me up too.
 
I hope Jas is off on a secret honeymoon while FG and I hijack her thread!
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And FG, don''t tell anyone, but I like it better too like that -- on the flower!
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It''s fun seeing my mini-me avatar next to yours, too
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jen
 
OK, guys, now I''m starting to be a little worried too.... I suppose it''s likely that they eloped and are blissfully happy somewhere, but it''s equally likely that a future-in-law went psycho or something!! Jackie, I hope everything''s ok!

jen

ps to Firegoddess -- I likey-likey your new avatar!
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