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Ideal_Rock
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Erings and workplaces (and insane bosses).
- Thread starter elepri
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This is the worst case scenario. He was an a$$hole before you came to work there; it''s been substantiated by your colleagues; it''s highly unlikely that your the first he''s done this to and it''s highly unlikely that HR or others in upper levels of administration are unaware of his reputation yet it is apparently condoned. The last statement in your synopsis of your conversation with him: "This just shows how young and stupid you are because no older woman would ever wear an diamond ering" is a violation of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. Specifically, it shows discrimination based on age. In such instances, employees must demonstrate that there has been a disparate impact on their employment which usually means denial of promotion, pay decrease, transfer or some other impact that was intentional on the part of the employer and had a negative impact on the employee.
If you don''t get a satisfactory response from HR, you''re either stuck with the situation or you''ll have to decide how far you''re willing to go to remedy it. Options are to leave or consult an attorney to see if you have enough evidence to file a lawsuit. In my state, the Bureau of Labor and Industry is often used by employees to file an initial complaint. BOLI investigates, and if sufficient evidence exists, BOLI reps can settle through an administrative law judge or forward evidence to the EEOC which can then assist with the filing of a lawsuit based on Civil Rights violations.
Disclaimer: I''m not a lawyer, but I work in HR.
Kaleigh
Super_Ideal_Rock
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elepri,
I called my best friend from high school that was a nurse and now is a nursing suprevisor and told her of your story. It wasn''t hard as she knows all about PS, and she was shocked. Her advice is to go to HR and file a complete report with dates, times and details, etc.... She works for a major hospital and to her this a major offense in her book. She''s so cute she was like you have to tell me what happens!!!! So go girl and do what you have to do and we will be here for you. I could tell you what she said about your boss, but then I might be banned from PS!!!! Good luck!!!!
I called my best friend from high school that was a nurse and now is a nursing suprevisor and told her of your story. It wasn''t hard as she knows all about PS, and she was shocked. Her advice is to go to HR and file a complete report with dates, times and details, etc.... She works for a major hospital and to her this a major offense in her book. She''s so cute she was like you have to tell me what happens!!!! So go girl and do what you have to do and we will be here for you. I could tell you what she said about your boss, but then I might be banned from PS!!!! Good luck!!!!
sxn675
Shiny_Rock
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- Nov 30, 2003
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- 480
This is just silly. I used to be a hospital administrator and my husband is a resident and neither of us have heard of such a thing. In fact, my husband was looking around at other people''s rings before getting mine so that he would know what to look for 
. I think that you should go to two places: HR and to the compliance officer and/or ombudsman. Most hospitals have a place where you can file a confidential complaint. The reason I say to go to both is that it cannot hurt to have it documented in two places. Good luck!
. I think that you should go to two places: HR and to the compliance officer and/or ombudsman. Most hospitals have a place where you can file a confidential complaint. The reason I say to go to both is that it cannot hurt to have it documented in two places. Good luck!
kaylagee
Brilliant_Rock
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This person definitely has issues
How terribly unfair for you, there is nothing worse that doing your job and minding your own business when some meglomaniac pyscho lets rip for some supposed indiscretion which you haven''t knowingly commited. What a horrible man. Jealousy and spite can rear their ugly heads in the most unexpected of people unfortunately. Hold your head high and try to ignore this jerk as best you can - and remember he is the one making a fool of himself, sounds like he is already far from being Mr. Popular and the other co workers wouldn''t give him the time of day. He is probably trying to assert his authority with you being new and does it to everyone at some time. He must also be very insecure. I hope you are able to find a way to resolve the situation, remember he is a BULLY and all bullies are cowards at heart.
How the hell can someone go on for 2 hours about that? Wow, you are patient. I would have told him to shut the F up.
Anyway, that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I have worked in Social Services, with pregnant teen-agers from low income families. The agency I worked for required us to do home visits. My supervisor (also a counselor) always wore her e-ring and band. She had a fat gorgeous 3 stone diamond e-ring. I never thought twice about it and I''m sure HER supervisor never thought twice about it.
Your diamond ring is his issue and should not be yours. What he did was totally unprofessional and inappropriate.
I''ve also worked in HR/ER and from what I learned, he could get in tons of trouble for what he said to you. I would definitely talk to someone about him. He sounds like a nightmare.
I''m not about ratting people out but what he did to you was wrong. The part about failing marriages. WTF?
Anyway, that is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard. I have worked in Social Services, with pregnant teen-agers from low income families. The agency I worked for required us to do home visits. My supervisor (also a counselor) always wore her e-ring and band. She had a fat gorgeous 3 stone diamond e-ring. I never thought twice about it and I''m sure HER supervisor never thought twice about it.
Your diamond ring is his issue and should not be yours. What he did was totally unprofessional and inappropriate.
I''ve also worked in HR/ER and from what I learned, he could get in tons of trouble for what he said to you. I would definitely talk to someone about him. He sounds like a nightmare.
I''m not about ratting people out but what he did to you was wrong. The part about failing marriages. WTF?
MissAva
Ideal_Rock
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Wow, that is just not kool. I was told that I was not allowed to wear anyring that had prongs once when I was working in a lab. The reason was that on the offchance a prong cut through the gloves and then there could be other health issues involved. But if you are not working in that sort of capacity what difference does it make? It sounds to me like he thinks you are trying to up your status (and thus lower his) by making youself appear wealthy. However if he cannot maintain control just becuase someone is wearing a ring then he has got major issues. Any chance that he is going through a divorce at the moment? I am sorry you had to endure 2 hours of ranting, that is miserable, perhaps you could offer him your services?
aphisiglovessae
Brilliant_Rock
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Jennifer5973
Ideal_Rock
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Uh, maybe I missed somehting, but what your "boss" said to you is completely inappropriate and probably legally constitutes harassment. he was basically:
- Imposing false judgements on you
- Insulting you and your marriage
- Making you feel uncomfortable
- Harassing you for your personal choice to wear jewelry
If he cited hospital regulations or sanitary procedures for not wearing an ering, that''s one thing, but what he said is out of line and if I was a betting woman, I''d say he has a file of compalints from others (probably women) about his tone...
You''re in a tough spot--you just started and he has power over you--he ix the "boss." But be careful and DO NOT take any more cr*p from him. If this pattern of abuse contiues, you need to speak up to management.
- Imposing false judgements on you
- Insulting you and your marriage
- Making you feel uncomfortable
- Harassing you for your personal choice to wear jewelry
If he cited hospital regulations or sanitary procedures for not wearing an ering, that''s one thing, but what he said is out of line and if I was a betting woman, I''d say he has a file of compalints from others (probably women) about his tone...
You''re in a tough spot--you just started and he has power over you--he ix the "boss." But be careful and DO NOT take any more cr*p from him. If this pattern of abuse contiues, you need to speak up to management.
YIKES. I agree with the consensus here: this is *not* just a case of a jerk, this is a case of harassment and hostile work environment and discrimination--if he''s this way at the BEGINNING of the job, how bad will it get??
I would go to HR POST HASTE. What a malcontent he is--you poor thing!!!! Seriously, this needs to be reported, documented, etc. Unprofessional, unacceptable, and most likely illegal.
Stand strong, my dear!!
I would go to HR POST HASTE. What a malcontent he is--you poor thing!!!! Seriously, this needs to be reported, documented, etc. Unprofessional, unacceptable, and most likely illegal.
Stand strong, my dear!!
Diamonds4Me
Brilliant_Rock
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Sounds to me like he has some major issues. I second everything that everyone else has said. That is harassment and discrimination.
I wouldn''t put up with that. Please keep us posted as to how it turns out for you. I think I''d be mass ordering some interlaps and the like to wear around there. Jerk.
hoorray
Ideal_Rock
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velouriaL
Brilliant_Rock
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Clearly this guy has issues that have nothing to do with you personally. His behavior is not only rude and crazy, but sexist and ageist and, therefore, edging pretty close to illegal. I would ABSOLUTELY go to HR and see if you can get a transfer to another department or another supervisor, at the very least. This is probably a warning flag of boss you DO NOT want to have long term, even this issue is resolved.
Hang in there, and please let us know how this developes!
Hang in there, and please let us know how this developes!
elepri
Brilliant_Rock
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Just a quick update, I did speak to HR today. I did not report it as harassment but I explained that these were my boss''s reasons for why wearing an earing to work was inappropriate and inquired whether this was really against some hospital policy. The guy at HR said he''d never heard anything like that, reassured me that it was perfectly acceptable for me to wear my ering to work and told me that my boss should call him directly if he has a problem with that. So i''m going to wear it tomorrow and see what happens.
As for the 2-hour lecture, I know it''s crazy! Sadly, every encounter with him is at least 2-hours long; he just doesn''t seem to have much to do and really enjoys having captive audience, it seems. Hmm, ering and no ering, maybe i should just start looking for a new job.
As for the 2-hour lecture, I know it''s crazy! Sadly, every encounter with him is at least 2-hours long; he just doesn''t seem to have much to do and really enjoys having captive audience, it seems. Hmm, ering and no ering, maybe i should just start looking for a new job.
drk
Brilliant_Rock
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It sounds like you''re going about this the politically savvy way. I''m glad HR confirmed that you''re allowed to wear your rings and that now they know what''s been going on. I''d still keep a record of the strange conversations you have with your boss (content, time, place, any witnesses etc) as documentation in case this harassment continues. I know I''d have trouble making an official complaint if I were in your situation.
Keep us posted on what happens tomorrow!
Keep us posted on what happens tomorrow!
AChiOAlumna
Brilliant_Rock
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reena
Ideal_Rock
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ame
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Kaleigh
Super_Ideal_Rock
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Diamonds4Me
Brilliant_Rock
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I''m glad that you''re wearing it tomorrow. I would definately document everything you can to keep up with everything. I''m glad that in my profession I haven''t had to use it yet but I know people that have run into "you said, I said" problems and having a dated conversation log has kept a lot of the dust down.
That''s just really sad that he has nothing better to do than go around nit-picking everything.
That''s just really sad that he has nothing better to do than go around nit-picking everything.
memsy
Rough_Rock
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Ok, that is just totally off base. I read enough to see that you went to HR and they responded. As someone who handles employment discrimination claims on a daily basis (i am a lawyer), I can offer you the following thoughts, but i''m not offering you any legal advice-
- If your boss says anything again about the ring, simply tell him that you checked with HR and there is no policy against it. That''s it. If he really has a problem, he will have to go to HR himself.
- If he does it again, let HR know. Each and every time. Have it documented.
- Unfortunately, you would probably NOT have a claim for age discrimination, as you are under 40 years old (i am assuming this based on your postdoc status and the fact that he said you were "young"). Age discrimination laws protect people over the age of 40, not under.
- You may, or maybe (i hope not) later on.. have a claim for sex and gender discrimination. There''s no such thing as "class discrimination", not legally at least.
I hope he just lets it go. Why not turn your psychology on him and ask him where all of this is coming from?
Good luck!
- If your boss says anything again about the ring, simply tell him that you checked with HR and there is no policy against it. That''s it. If he really has a problem, he will have to go to HR himself.
- If he does it again, let HR know. Each and every time. Have it documented.
- Unfortunately, you would probably NOT have a claim for age discrimination, as you are under 40 years old (i am assuming this based on your postdoc status and the fact that he said you were "young"). Age discrimination laws protect people over the age of 40, not under.
- You may, or maybe (i hope not) later on.. have a claim for sex and gender discrimination. There''s no such thing as "class discrimination", not legally at least.
I hope he just lets it go. Why not turn your psychology on him and ask him where all of this is coming from?
Good luck!
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HI:
How on earth could visiting policies and safety issues take two hours in lecture form, that one could read in 5 minutes? Something seems amiss. Contact HR and possibly your union.
cheers--Sharon
ETA: In rereading my post it might apper that I am disagreeing with MMM, but in fact am emphasing her point. I blame it on the BC wine and 30 degree temps!
teebee
Brilliant_Rock
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twinkletoes
Shiny_Rock
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elepri
Brilliant_Rock
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Kaleigh
Super_Ideal_Rock
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