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Expectations vs reality - ever had a mental expectation from a jewelry piece not work out in reality?

A

AllAboardTheBlingTrain

Ideal_Rock
Joined
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
3,346
Just thinking about this after I saw a post about metal colors right now. We’re all jewelry aficianados here, and can get pretty passionate about our collective hobby. But sometimes we picture something as stunning and perfect in our minds or on our screens but when we get/see it in person... something isn’t right! Not that the piece itself has something wrong with it... it just doesn’t work: for our aesthetic, complexion, lifestyle, whatever.

For me: A while ago I really wanted to get myself the RG love ring - but when I tried it on it looked terrible on my finger :( I was so disappointed! It just didn’t work for my skin tone, which also surprised me because while I hadn’t bought a lot of RG until then (primarily only 1-2 pairs of earrings) I didn’t realise the color of the alloy differed so greatly between jewelers, and differed so greatly between my ear and my hand! So I left the store empty handed, sigh.

So tell me your stories that are similar to mine!
 
I bought the most beautiful white gold deco pearl diamond crescent moon earrings - I was overjoyed to see them when I opened the box and so excited to put them on! They were perfect!

Perfect for a life I no longer had.

Sniff sniff. :(2

I loved them so much! But they would never get a chance to be worn. I let them go. Heartbreaking!

White gold never did work for me, I guess. But then there were the dozens of warm gold pieces I hoarded with great excitement, only to never wear! I still have a few, clutching them in my fists just a little longer. Eventually they’ll go, too.

——————

On the positive side, the old chipped stone in a wonky setting someone on PS actually called “ugly” makes me so happy that I almost never take it off. The heart has its reasons!
 
Last edited:
Ah, yes.

I really thought I would wear the 4 ct french cut eternity band I bought. I hated it on me. I know it's not dull, but it was just dull to me. I thought the diamonds were beautiful, but I hated it on me. It was not me and boring on me.

Also, a skinny marquise cut diamond ring, that I had set east-west. I have fingers that are too chubby for that- size 6.5 to 7.25 ring finger depending on the day and humidity- and it looked awful on me.

In theory, both would have been simple, clean lines and a little twist on the classic. Not for me though. I think I do better with bolder and larger pieces.
 
So far I've been pretty fortunate in that I have no big jewelry regrets. I am slow and deliberate...painfully so sometimes. At one point I was collecting a few diamond stacking bands but I ended up not liking them together. I was able to repurpose them when I reset my MIL's diamond so it worked out.
 
Oh angel most people here know wouldn’t remember my original engagement ring.
it
was
awful
 
oh yes. Many many regrets. Not because there was anything wrong with what the vendor did, but because it just didn't match my expectations for how it would look *on me*. For example, I ordered a gorgeous wide band with blue box wood and steel mokume. The ring is so pretty and is exactly what I asked for, but just looks weird on my hand (I think), and the wideness doesn't suit my finger so it ends up sitting in my jewelry box.
 
Yes! Definitely.
Not so much appearance as "I convinced myself I could wear this, but I can't".
My RDG ring: I thought I'd wear it regularly, just... Mindfully. When it arrived it was beautiful. Everything I wanted in wearable art. But I was terrified of damaging it, mindfully or otherwise, so I never wore it.
My VCA three-motif earrings: I thought I'd wear them occasionally despite the weight. I've worn them exactly once in five years - turns out even though I can wear them comfortably with BlingDots, I can't be bothered.
All my dangly earrings that hang on ear wires: Hooks aren't mind-clean for me. I thought I'd get over the (totally illogical!) concern that they're stretching my piercings... But I can't. All new earrings are posts-only.

I wouldn't call any of those "regrets" - I still love my RDG and wear it on special occasions, my various impractical-for-me earrings still all make me smile. I do have a couple of actual regrets but they're for different reasons.

On the flip side, some projects that I worried would turn into regrets have been some of my best jewellery decisions. Turning my old E-ring stone into a stud and finding it a mate - I would never have spent that much on a pair of earrings, but they are my most-beloved pieces. And my ACA anklet is a summer staple - just so delightfully unexpected! I half-expected that I'd forget about it once the novelty wore off.
 
I regret a lot of custom work I had done. I should have just ponied up for the original in most cases.

Also turns out that I should have just bought a really nice watch that I loved, versus trying to make bracelets happen for me. I have one tennis bracelet I like, but it's too much to wear pretty much ever. A blingy-ish watch would have worked better this whole time.
 
I'm slooooow and deliberate about my jewelry pieces I buy so none of them have been regrets yet. If I were to buy something that didn't work out, I'd sell it so I could try something else.

However, there have been many items purchased as gifts for me that while I love the thought and person giving them to me, they weren't my aesthetic at all. (Including the first engagement ring my husband gave me.)

For years I kept the gifts that I didn't like/wear because I felt bad about giving them away. But a few years ago I decided to sell or give away all items in my life that I didn't love or weren't practical. I hate clutter and extra items (especially ones that that bring me down mentally in some way.) Now I feel so much happier and can see all my lovelies that I actually love and wear, and I have been able to put extra $ in my "sparkly fund" for future purchases. I have also trained my immediate family to not give me presents over $100 unless they get my input. That makes everyone happier and there's so much less waste! I wish I had done it earlier. The older I get the more I realize it is important to ask for what you want, let go of what you don't want, and not feel guilty about doing things that make you happy.
 
PreRaphaelite said:
I bought the most beautiful white gold deco pearl diamond crescent moon earrings - I was overjoyed to see them when I opened the box and so excited to put them on! They were perfect!

Perfect for a life I no longer had.

Sniff sniff. :(2

I loved them so much! But they would never get a chance to be worn. I let them go. Heartbreaking!

White gold never did work for me, I guess. But then there were the dozens of warm gold pieces I hoarded with great excitement, only to never wear! I still have a few, clutching them in my fists just a little longer. Eventually they’ll go, too.

——————

On the positive side, the old chipped stone in a wonky setting someone on PS actually called “ugly” makes me so happy that I almost never take it off. The heart has its reasons!
Click to expand...

Your earrings sound gorgeous! But I think letting go of them if they didn’t fit your lifestyle was a good idea.

It’s also interesting to me how different golds look different on different people!
 
elizat said:
Ah, yes.

I really thought I would wear the 4 ct french cut eternity band I bought. I hated it on me. I know it's not dull, but it was just dull to me. I thought the diamonds were beautiful, but I hated it on me. It was not me and boring on me.

Also, a skinny marquise cut diamond ring, that I had set east-west. I have fingers that are too chubby for that- size 6.5 to 7.25 ring finger depending on the day and humidity- and it looked awful on me.

In theory, both would have been simple, clean lines and a little twist on the classic. Not for me though. I think I do better with bolder and larger pieces.
Click to expand...

Your experience with the marquis E-W has me wondering if I should take the emerald E-W off my list (I have a size 5.75-6 finger but they’re a bit shorter so they look chunkier). But I do completely agree on your comments about style... no matter how good something looks and how well it’s made, if it isn’t your style it just won’t work.
 
1ofakind said:
So far I've been pretty fortunate in that I have no big jewelry regrets. I am slow and deliberate...painfully so sometimes. At one point I was collecting a few diamond stacking bands but I ended up not liking them together. I was able to repurpose them when I reset my MIL's diamond so it worked out.
Click to expand...

Slow and deliberate is a great thing! I’m the same. I’ve never actually regretted something I’ve actually bought, but I have been suuuuper upset when something doesn’t work out the way I pictured/hoped it to!
 
lovedogs said:
oh yes. Many many regrets. Not because there was anything wrong with what the vendor did, but because it just didn't match my expectations for how it would look *on me*. For example, I ordered a gorgeous wide band with blue box wood and steel mokume. The ring is so pretty and is exactly what I asked for, but just looks weird on my hand (I think), and the wideness doesn't suit my finger so it ends up sitting in my jewelry box.
Click to expand...

Yeah I think this is the kind of mood I was trying to hit upon with my earlier question! I’m someone who doesn’t buy things online much (unless the return policy is stellar) so I’ve never had to keep something that I’ve excitedly bought and then regretted... but the feeling when something just looks exquisite Off your finger but awful on it is just :wall: :wall: :wall:
 
yssie said:
Yes! Definitely.
Not so much appearance as "I convinced myself I could wear this, but I can't".
My RDG ring: I thought I'd wear it regularly, just... Mindfully. When it arrived it was beautiful. Everything I wanted in wearable art. But I was terrified of damaging it, mindfully or otherwise, so I never wore it.
My VCA three-motif earrings: I thought I'd wear them occasionally despite the weight. I've worn them exactly once in five years - turns out even though I can wear them comfortably with BlingDots, I can't be bothered.
All my dangly earrings that hang on ear wires: Hooks aren't mind-clean for me. I thought I'd get over the (totally illogical!) concern that they're stretching my piercings... But I can't. All new earrings are posts-only.

I wouldn't call any of those "regrets" - I still love my RDG and wear it on special occasions, my various impractical-for-me earrings still all make me smile. I do have a couple of actual regrets but they're for different reasons.

On the flip side, some projects that I worried would turn into regrets have been some of my best jewellery decisions. Turning my old E-ring stone into a stud and finding it a mate - I would never have spent that much on a pair of earrings, but they are my most-beloved pieces. And my ACA anklet is a summer staple - just so delightfully unexpected! I half-expected that I'd forget about it once the novelty wore off.
Click to expand...

Im sorry - what does RDG stand for again? Im blanking.

I love your attitude about this btw - you’ve found a way to make impractical pieces work for you and you still enjoy them, which is fantastic! And I love the idea of turning your e-ring into an earring - so special. I don’t think I’d ever upgrade, but if I did, that is exactly what I would do!
 
kb1gra said:
I regret a lot of custom work I had done. I should have just ponied up for the original in most cases.

Also turns out that I should have just bought a really nice watch that I loved, versus trying to make bracelets happen for me. I have one tennis bracelet I like, but it's too much to wear pretty much ever. A blingy-ish watch would have worked better this whole time.
Click to expand...

*Hug* we’ve all been there. At least now you know what you really want, so you can cull your collection and work towards the watch?
 
RunningwithScissors said:
I'm slooooow and deliberate about my jewelry pieces I buy so none of them have been regrets yet. If I were to buy something that didn't work out, I'd sell it so I could try something else.

However, there have been many items purchased as gifts for me that while I love the thought and person giving them to me, they weren't my aesthetic at all. (Including the first engagement ring my husband gave me.)

For years I kept the gifts that I didn't like/wear because I felt bad about giving them away. But a few years ago I decided to sell or give away all items in my life that I didn't love or weren't practical. I hate clutter and extra items (especially ones that that bring me down mentally in some way.) Now I feel so much happier and can see all my lovelies that I actually love and wear, and I have been able to put extra $ in my "sparkly fund" for future purchases. I have also trained my immediate family to not give me presents over $100 unless they get my input. That makes everyone happier and there's so much less waste! I wish I had done it earlier. The older I get the more I realize it is important to ask for what you want, let go of what you don't want, and not feel guilty about doing things that make you happy.
Click to expand...

I really like your attitude - especially the last bit! I’m fortunate that mostly everyone who buys me jewelry either understands my taste to a T or would just come and ask me what I like, so far at least. I’m slow and deliberate too in my purchases, but I can and do still feel regret pre-purchase when something doesn’t work out the way it did. mentally!
 
Oh yes! I had my two grandmothers wedding bands. Very worn and thin, yellow gold. I had this idea of doing a Cartier style (but with two bands) ring. They were way too thin, so the gold was included in two thicker bands. All in yellow gold. It‘s nice, but does not feel right anymore. And yellow gold does not look nice on me. I still feel bad I destroyed these rings.
 
Roselina said:
Oh yes! I had my two grandmothers wedding bands. Very worn and thin, yellow gold. I had this idea of doing a Cartier style (but with two bands) ring. They were way too thin, so the gold was included in two thicker bands. All in yellow gold. It‘s nice, but does not feel right anymore. And yellow gold does not look nice on me. I still feel bad I destroyed these rings.
Click to expand...

Could you get them plated to a different color perhaps? Just to make them more wearable to you?
 
Roselina said:
I‘m not sure? White gold might be possible, can yg be rose gold plated?
Click to expand...

I think so, but I’m not 100% sure. I know YG can be plated to WG but unsure about RG. You can check with your jeweler!
 
Also more to the point of your post I have purchased things assuming they would be one thing and turn out another. Often in reverse tho. I have purchased rings “for parts” and then they come and I’m in love with them.
 
Expectation different from reality with a commissioned piece??Definitely! I asked the team at IDJ to make me a pair of white gold earrings with simple black peal and diamond stud. Similar to the Tiffany ones. I asked for them to be made as screw backs as I worried I may loose one. 6 years later they still sit in the jewellery box because I didn’t know I had a white gold allergy, the screw backs were uncomfortable and the earrings sat oddly on the ear. I’ve no idea what to do with them. The diamonds are pretty though.
 
RosieR said:
Expectation different from reality with a commissioned piece??Definitely! I asked the team at IDJ to make me a pair of white gold earrings with simple black peal and diamond stud. Similar to the Tiffany ones. I asked for them to be made as screw backs as I worried I may loose one. 6 years later they still sit in the jewellery box because I didn’t know I had a white gold allergy, the screw backs were uncomfortable and the earrings sat oddly on the ear. I’ve no idea what to do with them. The diamonds are pretty though.
Click to expand...

Could you perhaps have them reset into YG with la pousette backs or something, if it’s not cost prohibitive?
 
AllAboardTheBlingTrain said:
Could you perhaps have them reset into YG with la pousette backs or something, if it’s not cost prohibitive?
Click to expand...

Thanks so much for your suggestion. Having spoken to a jeweller the pearls are not salvageable as damage could occur when trying to remove them from the setting. I think I’d like to repurpose, but I’m not sure what to make AFAE8011-8866-4036-BE82-756B451E9DCE.jpeg
One day I’ll start a thread. . .
 
RosieR said:
Thanks so much for your suggestion. Having spoken to a jeweller the pearls are not salvageable as damage could occur when trying to remove them from the setting. I think I’d like to repurpose, but I’m not sure what to make AFAE8011-8866-4036-BE82-756B451E9DCE.jpeg
One day I’ll start a thread. . .
Click to expand...

They look like they could make pretty pendants! I wonder if it’s possible for you to get them dipped with the pearl still in the setting (probably not) but if you got them set in a slider setting you’d only need to modify the setting for the diamond and you could get them on YG/RG chains. If the WG only touches fabric and not skin it ought to be fine. Then you could either wear both pendants layered on different lengths of chain or give one to a daughter/sister/mother/friend?
 
elizat said:
Ah, yes.

I really thought I would wear the 4 ct french cut eternity band I bought. I hated it on me. I know it's not dull, but it was just dull to me. I thought the diamonds were beautiful, but I hated it on me. It was not me and boring on me.
Click to expand...
Surprised to hear this.

I like boring on me. :twisted: :Up_to_something:
 
There was vendor who's work I greatly admired from pictures here on PS and was a highly praised favorite of many. In reality, her pieces were too small/dainty and color palette too subdued for my personal tastes.

After the first project with the vendor, I tried to be more specific in the second. When I questioned pictures of the finished second project, the vendor didn't see what I saw so I deferred to her professional opinion as things often look different IRL. Unfortunately, I was just as disappointed when they arrived. To be fair, she offered to redo if I wasn't happy and the workmanship was stellar. But I decided it was too much work, our tastes were too different and decided to cut my losses.

A few lessons I learned from this:

1) It's important to understand their aesthetic and what different vendors are good at (and not) when selecting one to do your work.

2) Glamour shots can be a great equalizer. So when working with a new vendor you might want to test the waters first with a smaller project (or preloved piece) if you haven't seen their work IRL.

3) It takes time to relationship with vendors, even more so on-line, where they know what you want and you know what to expect. Having such relationships can be invaluable.
 
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