Food for thought - what financially conscious guys would spend for a ring

[anyname]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:54:28 AM
Author: LaraOnline

I had a supernatural break though today.


My man volunteered to get me an eternity ring after the birth of my third child (first ''push present'' ever, those stitches just gotta count for something lol, also it will mark our fifth wedding anniversary ) , and also in the next sentence VOLUNTEERED to get me a solitaire on our 10th wedding anniversary.

I kind of laughed (in disbelief) and said ''it''ll probably be expensive'', and he said, ''That''s okay, I''m going to start saving from now.''


He APOLOGISED for not getting his act together before we got married, and said he was sorry for taking so long. !!!!

And I hadn''t said a thing... we were talking about Christmas presents, and I said not to bother getting me anything this year, as we are broke having just moved into a new house.


WTF??!!! I feel like cheering. Actually, I had a bit of a weep.

Congrats Lara! I remember reading a while ago that you had wanted a ring, but your husband balked at the idea. I''ve always wondered what became of that. I''m so glad to hear that your finally getting something you wanted.

As for this article, i''m not surprised that so many guys feel this way about diamonds. I think a lot of them don''t understand what a diamond represents to some women. I my heart melts a little everytime i see a guy on this forum looking for help on a diamond ring, because it might not mean anything to him, but he knows it means something to his soon to be fiance. I think that''s so sweet. siiiigh.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/12/2008 1:57:52 AM
Author: kittybean

Date: 12/11/2008 12:54:28 AM

Author: LaraOnline


I had a supernatural break though today.


My man volunteered to get me an eternity ring after the birth of my third child (first 'push present' ever, those stitches just gotta count for something lol, also it will mark our fifth wedding anniversary ) , and also in the next sentence VOLUNTEERED to get me a solitaire on our 10th wedding anniversary.


I kind of laughed (in disbelief) and said 'it'll probably be expensive', and he said, 'That's okay, I'm going to start saving from now.'


He APOLOGISED for not getting his act together before we got married, and said he was sorry for taking so long. !!!!


And I hadn't said a thing... we were talking about Christmas presents, and I said not to bother getting me anything this year, as we are broke having just moved into a new house.


WTF??!!! I feel like cheering. Actually, I had a bit of a weep.

Lara, I am so happy for your supernatural breakthrough! Maybe it's that pregnant glow that has bewitched him

. A five-stone band sounds like such a nice, sentimental gift! His apology is just so sweet, and I love that there are many years of marriage to back up his sincerity.


If I haven't already said so, congratulations on your third. He or she (do you know yet?) is due the day of my wonderful brother's birthday. Best wishes to you for a happy, healthy pregnancy!


Note: Just in case you don't go over there much, there had been a thread started for you in Who's Who, so you can tell us more about you if you feel comfortable with it.

OMG Kitty bean! Truly?!! A thread?!!! That is amazing!!!

You know since I moved into my new house a couple of weeks ago (which is beautiful, btw, I started a thread on it in 'Shopping') I haven't been online so much. In fact, only a few minutes a day. I just look up a couple of threads that catch my eye, and then - outta the office.

I'll have to hot-foot it over to who's who!!!!

Popcorn, he hosed me down (after kind of joshing me along about a ring, so I kinda thought it was on the cards) because he had gotten settled in mind for a new house!!!! Which I've just moved into, and it's really nice!!!

 

[LaraOnline]

It looks like the five-stone is kinda out the window now (unless I have five kids, of course?!!)
We had my 20-week scan today, and my husband is already telling me I''ll have to get pregnant one more time, so he has another chance for a second baby boy!

I told him (yes, I''m turning into a shameless PS girl) that if I had another baby, I won''t want my five-stone eternity, and he''ll have to get me the solitaire first.

I wish I could say that I was joking... but deep inside (sigh) I was not.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/11/2008 5:53:24 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Hi arjuna!

I must be a psycho. I don't think anyone else on the PLANET would think that a solitaire in five years is reason to celebrate. but I know my man!

In the meantime, I fully intend to take him up on the promise of my eternity. I plan to have a five-stone ring, and yes, from a PS vendor!! Five stones, because there'll be five members of my darling family. I plan on having the three, this is the last baby.

I hope there's no accidents to come, because he'll have to send the five stone back or get another diamond added!

But I think I will try and get this baby out safely first (due April 30)before thinking of any of that stuff.

I will be SURE to keep you informed.

I just checked under the Christmas tree (putting pressies down) and there's a parcel from one of my favourite mall jewellers, new today! so, I guess he must love me!!
I asked my little girl what she did with dad today... she told me that they went to the shops to get me 'just a bit of junk'!

That was her little effort at keeping the Christmas magic, as my husband hasn't told her a phrase like that, I asked!!! He just asked her to keep a secret!

anyway, hope you are having a Merry pre-Christmas season yourself!

Hi again Lara,

my apologies I only just saw your update - f***n Yay for TWO parcels under the tree from jewellers for you!!!

It sounds like your hubby is coming around, hey?
Does that mean you get to open them soon, even though the anni's not until jan?

How cute is your lil one, "just a piece of junk" - I love it, lol !

I think the 5 stone band sounds lovely, and how exciting that you can get it from a PS vendor !

This is funny, I'm sooo excited for you !?
Oh, I just noticed you may not be able to do the 5 stone..? Thats ok, we have plenty of time to help you convince him

But yes, focus on the "push" before the "push present", of course.

My heartfelt congrats on the new baby girl, is it? You truely do have a lovely looking family.

My pre-chrissie at the moment is just work as usual, but I go on leave for a couple weeks at the end of next week, so that will be a much needed break.
Not much planned, we do Chrissie eve with Fi's family, then Chrissie lunch with mine..

A ban on presents this year from both families

But me and Fi are of course still doing gifts to each other..did you by chance see the thread on my OEC pendant? Its supposed to be finished next week, can't wait!

O-Kaayyy..**threadjack over**

 

[LaraOnline]

Hey arjuna, I''ve got a funny PS quandary.
I have opened my birth present early, (as in found out the gender) and now my man is telling me he wants to get me pregnant again straight away after delivery!! I''m a bit in shock!

I''m heading over to your OEC thread.
Thank you for letting me know.
Since I moved into this new house, I haven''t spent much time at all on PS, only literally a couple of minutes a day...

 

[softly softly]

Date: 12/12/2008 6:44:17 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Hey arjuna, I've got a funny PS quandary.

I have opened my birth present early, (as in found out the gender) and now my man is telling me he wants to get me pregnant again straight away after delivery!! I'm a bit in shock!


I'm heading over to your OEC thread.

Thank you for letting me know.

Since I moved into this new house, I haven't spent much time at all on PS, only literally a couple of minutes a day...

Okay this has me intrigued. If it is not too rude a question, why is your husband already wanting another child before you give birth to this one? ETA - sorry I went back and read in full, now I understand!!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/12/2008 6:44:17 AM
Author: LaraOnline
Hey arjuna, I''ve got a funny PS quandary.
I have opened my birth present early, (as in found out the gender) and now my man is telling me he wants to get me pregnant again straight away after delivery!! I''m a bit in shock!

I''m heading over to your OEC thread.
Thank you for letting me know.
Since I moved into this new house, I haven''t spent much time at all on PS, only literally a couple of minutes a day...

Hrmm..yes a quandary for sure.
I read in your Who''s who thread, perhaps we should continue to discuss over there?

 

[LaraOnline]

We are really nasty threadjackers!! I guess the only real connection with the topic is that my man is pretty cheap in the jewellery department!

haha I wish he would read this!

If only we could sell his flash Toyota and buy a ring with it!

Now there's an idea!

PS I couldn't help myself. The Christmas gifts were under the tree, not wrapped, just in their boxes from the store. So I had a peek. (never ever done anything like that before)

My little girl is right, it IS 9k white gold. It's chunky hollow chainlink necklace, matching bracelet, and two pairs of earrings. Unfortunately, I HATE them!!!

What should I do?

Maybe the bogleheads shoud read THIS thread!

 

[anyname]

Date: 12/12/2008 11:13:46 PM
Author: LaraOnline
We are really nasty threadjackers!! I guess the only real connection with the topic is that my man is pretty cheap in the jewellery department!

haha I wish he would read this!


If only we could sell his flash Toyota and buy a ring with it!

Now there''s an idea!


PS I couldn''t help myself. The Christmas gifts were under the tree, not wrapped, just in their boxes from the store. So I had a peek. (never ever done anything like that before)


My little girl is right, it IS 9k white gold. It''s chunky hollow chainlink necklace, matching bracelet, and two pairs of earrings. Unfortunately, I HATE them!!!


What should I do?


Maybe the bogleheads shoud read THIS thread!

oof, i think its a tough call. How receptive is your husband to the idea of exchanging them? I know some men care because they really did put thought into the gift, while others don''t care and would rather you get something that you will wear. If you were to bring it up to him would he be offended and never buy you any jewelry again? If you think he would, i would hold off saying anything for now. I hope this helped and didn''t end up making your head spin...

 

[Rhea]

Vesper, thank you for your reply. It makes more sense to me now. My DH truly deserves the D in DH. He shows his love through doing practical things for me. My ipod always has my latest musical taste on it and is charged, the house cleaned, the dishes done, and right now while I''m playing on PS he just brought me my favorite coffee and is making me breakfast. Sometimes he doesn''t show his love the way I''d like, something sparkly darnit, but it''s never a case of him putting himself first. Hopefully one day he''ll u-turn in the jewellery department and I''ll get lucky like Lara!

I''m sorry if I got a bit defensive. I really don''t like the idea that he could be cheap or not care about my feelings just because he sometimes shows his love differently than I would like.

It sounds like you found the right guy for you after a bad first marriage! Thank you for sharing where that with me.

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/13/2008 1:00:35 AM
Author: popcorn
oof, i think its a tough call. How receptive is your husband to the idea of exchanging them? I know some men care because they really did put thought into the gift, while others don''t care and would rather you get something that you will wear. If you were to bring it up to him would he be offended and never buy you any jewelry again? If you think he would, i would hold off saying anything for now. I hope this helped and didn''t end up making your head spin...

haha, I told my DH that baby girl had told me that they had spent two minutes in a store, and bought something that wasn''t gold like my other jewellery.

Ooof, I feel bad.
I said I wasn''t going to take off my favourites for anything, and I didn''t like to mix and match.

He looked straight at me, with a big smile, and said he had looked in a few places (meaning windows, I guess) and took his time. He then said it wasn''t any other colour but gold, and that how did I know it was jewellery anyway, because it probably wasn''t.

Guess I did my best.
I think I''ll just practice saying ''thank you!!!!'' with a big smile on my face.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/13/2008 5:24:03 AM
Author: LaraOnline

Date: 12/13/2008 1:00:35 AM
Author: popcorn
oof, i think its a tough call. How receptive is your husband to the idea of exchanging them? I know some men care because they really did put thought into the gift, while others don''t care and would rather you get something that you will wear. If you were to bring it up to him would he be offended and never buy you any jewelry again? If you think he would, i would hold off saying anything for now. I hope this helped and didn''t end up making your head spin...

haha, I told my DH that baby girl had told me that they had spent two minutes in a store, and bought something that wasn''t gold like my other jewellery.

Ooof, I feel bad.
I said I wasn''t going to take off my favourites for anything, and I didn''t like to mix and match.

He looked straight at me, with a big smile, and said he had looked in a few places (meaning windows, I guess) and took his time. He then said it wasn''t any other colour but gold, and that how did I know it was jewellery anyway, because it probably wasn''t.

Guess I did my best.
I think I''ll just practice saying ''thank you!!!!'' with a big smile on my face.

Lara, you know what store its from - why don''t you ring them up and check on their return/exchange policy.
I''m sorry, but no matter how much/little a guy cares about jewellery, I can''t imagine any partner wanting to waste their $ on something the woman will never wear, right?

Lets say the return policy allows you the couple weeks it is until xmas, when you''re "officially" allowed to open them, I would then suggest just being completely straight with him. ""Wow, thankyou for buying me jewellery love, BUT.....I like yellow gold, this is not my style, I really appreciate the thought, thankyou honey, but will you mind if I exchange for something I will really love/use...""

It doesn''t really seem as if he put heaps of thought/time into it, so hopefully he won''t be cut.

I know others will say you should suck it up and be greatful..but in your situation, I think this is different. You don''t want to set a trend/standard, yanno?

Let me know what you think ok !

 

[LaraOnline]

Yeah, I have turned his car upside down looking for the reciepts! Can''t find them.

They do know me in there

I wonder if they would accept my word that my husband bought me the gifts for Christmas, this place is a small place and everyone knows everyone, at least by sight.

I don''t want to embarrass anyone (least of all myself) by walking in there with ''the stuff'' and them having to turn me down because company policy is no receipts, so no exchanges...

Stores can be really tough about the receipt thing these days!

I might make a phone call tomorrow - ah geez, I''m not sure what to do...

Sometimes he gets me something and I think ''Oh, heck!'' and a couple of months (or years) later I kinda like them. Sometimes it''s good to get out of your comfort zone. It''s just that now I know what I CAN find out there, via internet or whatever (although I guess it''s just not the same since the dollar fell) I shudder when I think of the money he''s spent.

And he knows I spend hours and hours looking at jewellery, and learning about it! You''d think he''d ask my opinion, wouldn''t you?!! I even made a SUGGESTION this year, and left it open on the internet for him to see!!

 

[arjunajane]

Ha ha, oh sweety I''m sorry you don''t know what to do. I say call the store on monday (just anonymously at this stage) and enquire about return policy, then go from there.

May I ask so its that hollow-link belcher style jewellery? Well I probably wouldn''t like that either, lol !

 

[LaraOnline]

Well, I called the store.

They said that if I absolutely, positively couldn''t find the reciept (and if the goods are in untouched condition, no doubt!) I should wait for the bank statement to come in ( I think he would have paid with his cc, thank goodness!) and then they would troll through the receipts manually until they found his.

They did say they emphasise the importance of keeping the receipts, when a man buys gift for his girl.

They said the whole process may take about a week. Obviously they''re not super-happy about it, but then I''ll get be able to exchange.

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/13/2008 9:27:12 PM
Author: LaraOnline
Well, I called the store.

They said that if I absolutely, positively couldn''t find the reciept (and if the goods are in untouched condition, no doubt!) I should wait for the bank statement to come in ( I think he would have paid with his cc, thank goodness!) and then they would troll through the receipts manually until they found his.

They did say they emphasise the importance of keeping the receipts, when a man buys gift for his girl.

They said the whole process may take about a week. Obviously they''re not super-happy about it, but then I''ll get be able to exchange.

Well thats good news, they sound nicer than the "average" mall store.

But Lara, not sure if I understand - do you plan on being upfront with DH and just asking if you can return them (and if he has the receipts), or doing it on your own? Or you''re not sure yet?

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/11/2008 12:54:28 AM
Author: LaraOnline

Date: 12/10/2008 8:49:51 PM
Author: redrose229

Date: 12/10/2008 4:11:23 PM

Author: Addy



This really seems unfair to me. Among my friends, my DH is the cheapo loser. He balked at the price of my ring and didn''t see the point of one at all. We ended up setting a budget, which I went under in part because I couldn''t find anything else and partly to make him happy. I got something much smaller than I hoped for. DH hardly thinks about my ring, I''m sure. I wouldn''t be surprised if he still considers it to be a pointless gift. We do our best to understand each other. His love for electronic and mine for jewellery, but the best I can hope to get a shug and a ''if you like it''.


You''re lucky that your DH understands your love of jewellery. Just because some of us end up with a guy who doesn''t understand our loves doesn''t mean that he''s a loser.

Our husbands sound like twins! LOL! I love my ring, but we could have afforded much more, and he wigged out slightly at the price of mine already as is! (when I say wig, he wanted me to be happy, so he was more than willing, he was just like what 2k on a ring? Are you crazy?! LOL)


Gotta love men! most just don''t understand

I had a supernatural break though today.

My man volunteered to get me an eternity ring after the birth of my third child (first ''push present'' ever, those stitches just gotta count for something lol, also it will mark our fifth wedding anniversary ) , and also in the next sentence VOLUNTEERED to get me a solitaire on our 10th wedding anniversary.
I kind of laughed (in disbelief) and said ''it''ll probably be expensive'', and he said, ''That''s okay, I''m going to start saving from now.''

He APOLOGISED for not getting his act together before we got married, and said he was sorry for taking so long. !!!!
And I hadn''t said a thing... we were talking about Christmas presents, and I said not to bother getting me anything this year, as we are broke having just moved into a new house.

WTF??!!! I feel like cheering. Actually, I had a bit of a weep.

Lara,

I just wanted to say how THRILLED I am for you! I know you have lamented his disinterest before, so I am so happy he is on board now, and enthusiastic!

Spectacular! Can''t wait for the future pics!

 

[LaraOnline]

Hey trillionaire!

It won''t happen overnight...but it will happen!
I think I''ll go for the five-stone eternity anyway, and that''s the closer project. Sometime this year.
Gad, instead of baby fever (which I had...bad) I''ve now got ring fever (probably even less socially acceptable)

Bogleheads: see how much trouble you would save yourself down the track if only you would
a) spend a reasonable amount in the first place - (I''m not saying an extravagant fortune, mind ) - and
b)get an UPGRADEABLE one!!

 

[anyname]

So have you decided to return the jewelery Lara? I hope it all turns out well because you so deserve to get your dream rings! I can kind of relate, my husband has said that my engagement ring is the last piece of jewelry that I will ever get from him...

I better win the lottery one day....

 

[LaraOnline]

Date: 12/14/2008 2:28:59 AM
Author: popcorn
So have you decided to return the jewelery Lara? I hope it all turns out well because you so deserve to get your dream rings! I can kind of relate, my husband has said that my engagement ring is the last piece of jewelry that I will ever get from him...

I better win the lottery one day....

Oh

I see that he is a boglehead too! Oh well, at least there''s a few of us hapless ones on this forum!
HOWEVER, I happen to know a couple of important facts:
1. He loves me to bits
2. I have started to point out (very subtly - no, honestly!) when he has an expensive ''treat''. These can''t-live-without items very quickly add up!

3. Where there is a will, there''s a way!
haha this is bogleheads femme, is it not?

Arjuna, I haven''t decided whether to tell him... in fact, I think it might be best to not mention the swap, even if I do return them... It think I''ll take in the credit card bill and ID, ''the stuff'' and see if there''s anything I like better in the store when the time comes!

It IS possible that if I hold on to it long enough, I could grow to like it, as a coping mechanism. Unfortunately. Like the bizarre blue feature wall in my new home, which now doesn''t seem quite so bad after all.

 

[arjunajane]

Hmmm..You know what I''m gonna say right?
1. suss out how he''d feel if you asked him to exchange - after all, he is gonna notice, right?
2. You shouldn''t have to "grow to love" your jewellery imho, especially if its WG and you wear YG.

And just fwiw, my ering and upgrade is all the jewellery my Fi has bought (and we are going in together for my pendant this xmas). This is, of course, plenty and I''m very greatful!
The rest I buy myself.
He doesn''t understand my obsession, and there''s sometimes a lil sulk when another package shows at the door, lol.

But he knows I work hard for my money, and that this hobby keeps me sane going to work everyday, so is cool with me spending it on lil things for myself.

I do make a point of buying things for him too - like a new DVD player yesterday

I must say though, seeing as I''ll be back to Uni next year, I''m buying all the jewellery I can while I still can - next yr it will all go on *books* etc

And yes, we have officially and completely **jacked** this thread. My sincere apologies if anyone it has annoyed

 

[Harriet]

Laraonline,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and your new house!

Arjunajane,
I''m annoyed by the threadjack, but it''s nothing a pack of Tim Tams won''t solve.

 

[LaraOnline]

Sorry Harriet, I guess we''re kind of on topic, in that we''re discussing the intimate movements of a boglehead ''in the grass''!

Apologies!

 

[Harriet]

No worries. I was just teasing.

 

[Harriet]

I'm reading the Bogleheads thread now. I think the OP should buy what he can afford, but they're telling him to buy bonds, $100 rings, etc.?

 

[anyname]

Date: 12/14/2008 2:40:35 AM
Author: LaraOnline

Date: 12/14/2008 2:28:59 AM

Author: popcorn

So have you decided to return the jewelery Lara? I hope it all turns out well because you so deserve to get your dream rings! I can kind of relate, my husband has said that my engagement ring is the last piece of jewelry that I will ever get from him...

I better win the lottery one day....

Oh

I see that he is a boglehead too! Oh well, at least there''s a few of us hapless ones on this forum!

HOWEVER, I happen to know a couple of important facts:

1. He loves me to bits

2. I have started to point out (very subtly - no, honestly!) when he has an expensive ''treat''. These can''t-live-without items very quickly add up!

3. Where there is a will, there''s a way!

haha this is bogleheads femme, is it not?

Arjuna, I haven''t decided whether to tell him... in fact, I think it might be best to not mention the swap, even if I do return them... It think I''ll take in the credit card bill and ID, ''the stuff'' and see if there''s anything I like better in the store when the time comes!

It IS possible that if I hold on to it long enough, I could grow to like it, as a coping mechanism. Unfortunately. Like the bizarre blue feature wall in my new home, which now doesn''t seem quite so bad after all.

hahahahhahaha! I like the term boglehead. But i know what you mean, i know he loves me a lot, but he doesn''t understand that i like shiny things. His mom doesn''t wear any and doesn''t even have her ears pierced, so he doesn''t quite know my fascination, but i tell him about MY mom''s amazing collection to get him to see where I''m coming from too. Anyway, best of luck to you!

 

[arjunajane]

Date: 12/14/2008 5:55:03 PM
Author: Harriet
Laraonline,
Congratulations on your pregnancy and your new house!

Arjunajane,
I''m annoyed by the threadjack, but it''s nothing a pack of Tim Tams won''t solve.

Ha ha Harriett!

Yes, Tim Tams are the Devil''s work - pls tell me Oprah wasn''t the first place you had heard of them though...?

Sending you cyber - tim tams now, and promise real ones if we ever meet

 

[Harriet]

Oprah?! No way. Ex-Sydneysider here.

We might very well meet -- Sydney''s my favourite city and I plan to visit more often.

 

[trillionaire]

I read the whole thread over the course of the weekend. I think 40K is a tremendous amount to spent on jewelry, especially if you are making only 80K... There were some extreme comments, but there were also some very wise comments as well.

My take on E-rings, when I explained it to SO, was this. Look, you ran out and bought a motorcycle with no planning, no saving, just decided you wanted one, and went and got one a few weeks (like, two) later. (it was used, and not a totally extravagant price) I told him that he should feel comfortable spending about that amount on an e-ring, since that price tag was something that he was comfortable with. (he also went on to upgrade his bike, but I didn''t try to ''upgrade'' the price, lol!) The bike was probably closer to one months salary, and far less than 2 months, which I know he WOULD have been very uncomfortable with. I also explained to him that marriage is about planning and creating a future together, and that saving and setting aside money for a ring was, in my mind, practice for what we would be doing in marriage. It''s about setting a goal and executing it, making sacrifice, etc. (I also plan to get him an e-gift, though it won''t be as much, since I make a LOT less) Sacrifice is a very important but understated part of marriage. In my mind, the e-ring tradition is a good training ground for this.

At any rate, he got a fabulous ring for less than the bike, I don''t think he felt put out, and I getting what I always dreamed of, so everyone is happy.

It scares me to read threads like Bogleheads, where people are so willing to put their desires so far ahead of those of their partner.

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Date: 12/15/2008 1:23:57 PM
Author: trillionaire
I read the whole thread over the course of the weekend. I think 40K is a tremendous amount to spent on jewelry, especially if you are making only 80K... There were some extreme comments, but there were also some very wise comments as well.

My take on E-rings, when I explained it to SO, was this. Look, you ran out and bought a motorcycle with no planning, no saving, just decided you wanted one, and went and got one a few weeks (like, two) later. (it was used, and not a totally extravagant price) I told him that he should feel comfortable spending about that amount on an e-ring, since that price tag was something that he was comfortable with. (he also went on to upgrade his bike, but I didn''t try to ''upgrade'' the price, lol!) The bike was probably closer to one months salary, and far less than 2 months, which I know he WOULD have been very uncomfortable with. I also explained to him that marriage is about planning and creating a future together, and that saving and setting aside money for a ring was, in my mind, practice for what we would be doing in marriage. It''s about setting a goal and executing it, making sacrifice, etc. (I also plan to get him an e-gift, though it won''t be as much, since I make a LOT less) Sacrifice is a very important but understated part of marriage. In my mind, the e-ring tradition is a good training ground for this.

At any rate, he got a fabulous ring for less than the bike, I don''t think he felt put out, and I getting what I always dreamed of, so everyone is happy.

It scares me to read threads like Bogleheads, where people are so willing to put their desires so far ahead of those of their partner.

I think it''s just the context of that forum. I mean, the whole purpose of the forum is to save for an early retirement, and shiny hunks of carbon that don''t DO anything aren''t exactly going to get them there (this is obviously coming from the masses'' perspective over there, not my own

).

In the context of that forum, 20% of his savings, when they''re trying to save for a home, seems to be quite a lot, if your main focus is retiring at the age of 40 or so.

Besides, the thread starter seemed to be worried about what his girlfriend''s sister was sporting, and how to keep his future wife competitive, more so than just talking to her to get a reasonable (for him) budget sorted.