getting lost in stupid stuff

[audball]

I officially made a [email protected] email address for both myself and the planners to use! I'm watching all the response emails to the emails that my planner sent out. I get nauseated reading through them! There's this one *BEAUTIFUL* venue that can fit up to 200 people that is owned and run by the culinary students at a state university. It's so affordable and so beautiful. But they just responded that their head chef said that they can't do a halal meal, and that if we have special dietary needs, they recommend us to use another caterer. We'd have to buy out their kitchen, basically. Le sigh. I knew this dietary sh*t was going to be the end of my enjoyment….

((hugs))!!!! I'm glad you've gotten a planner and that she's making some headway on the research for you! Good idea on the shared email address! The place sounds so wonderful...bummer about the food! I hope you find the perfect place that accommodates all of your special needs! Does your FI have the same dietary restrictions or is it his family pushing for the accommodations?

 

[recordaras]

I officially made a [email protected] email address for both myself and the planners to use! I'm watching all the response emails to the emails that my planner sent out. I get nauseated reading through them! There's this one *BEAUTIFUL* venue that can fit up to 200 people that is owned and run by the culinary students at a state university. It's so affordable and so beautiful. But they just responded that their head chef said that they can't do a halal meal, and that if we have special dietary needs, they recommend us to use another caterer. We'd have to buy out their kitchen, basically. Le sigh. I knew this dietary sh*t was going to be the end of my enjoyment….

Ugh...
Venues are just the most stressful thing, aren't they? We're currently trying to figure ours out, and it's just... not fun.
I'm sure you guys will be able to find something even more amazing! And fitting for your dietary needs.

 

[Mico]

Madelise, are there any venue-only options? Ours was just for the space and we are narrowing down caterers. At this point we negotiated an American catering company for everything but dinner, they are allowing us to use a cultural catering company for dinner. That may be an option?

I can tell you more deets if interested - though the price per head is a little tough to negotiate out when broken down like that

 

[madelise]

((hugs))!!!! I'm glad you've gotten a planner and that she's making some headway on the research for you! Good idea on the shared email address! The place sounds so wonderful...bummer about the food! I hope you find the perfect place that accommodates all of your special needs! Does your FI have the same dietary restrictions or is it his family pushing for the accommodations?

This isn't for the small Western dinner party, which only FMIL will have religious dietary restrictions (my grandparents have restrictions but are not asking us to go out of our way for them). I already told SO that IDGAF if his mom starves that night (being over-dramatic). She needs to take care of herself. I'm ordering the food I want.

This is for the large Pakistani reception, and it won't just be for FMIL, it will be because half of his family have these dietary restrictions. I wouldn't go out of my way for 1 singular person, but I'll need to if it's half of the guests.

 

[madelise]

Madelise, are there any venue-only options? Ours was just for the space and we are narrowing down caterers. At this point we negotiated an American catering company for everything but dinner, they are allowing us to use a cultural catering company for dinner. That may be an option?

I can tell you more deets if interested - though the price per head is a little tough to negotiate out when broken down like that

We have contacted venue-only and venue+caterer options. Of course, the venue+caterer options are cheapest since they're not really charging for using the venue.

 

[TooPatient]

((hugs))!!!! I'm glad you've gotten a planner and that she's making some headway on the research for you! Good idea on the shared email address! The place sounds so wonderful...bummer about the food! I hope you find the perfect place that accommodates all of your special needs! Does your FI have the same dietary restrictions or is it his family pushing for the accommodations?

This isn't for the small Western dinner party, which only FMIL will have religious dietary restrictions (my grandparents have restrictions but are not asking us to go out of our way for them). I already told SO that IDGAF if his mom starves that night (being over-dramatic). She needs to take care of herself. I'm ordering the food I want.

This is for the large Pakistani reception, and it won't just be for FMIL, it will be because half of his family have these dietary restrictions. I wouldn't go out of my way for 1 singular person, but I'll need to if it's half of the guests.

Would they be willing to do vegetarian?

That might give you more options.

 

[TooPatient]

Okay here are our current plans!

Sorry. I can’t remember who I tell and who is sick of hearing about the plans.

So our plan right now is to elope to Key West next February or March...as in 2015. We were hoping to do it in 2014 but we really want to be able to go on some excursions and have plenty of time to save up some money. My parents may come along for a couple of the days so that my daughter can also be there and attend our wedding. They really want to come. My daughter is 5 and too small to understand the wedding part but I would really love to include her and have her there. We are also looking at the Bahamas but I keep hearing that if you stay in one city, it’s hard to drive up the coast or anywhere else because traffic is just awful and we really don’t want to spend that much time worrying about traveling from activity to activity. So the next option would be a cruise but I am almost fully ruling this out based on the cost of the wedding itself. I have found some amazing cruise packages but then the beach wedding ceremony costs almost double the actual cruise for the two of us… just crazy! So we may just go on a cruise in a few years when we find an amazing good deal.

Then, when we come back… that May or June we will have a BBQ type event at my parent’s house. They have an amazing yard and we can set up a tent and maybe grill or have catering of some kind and invite 80-100 people to come and hang out with us.

My parents are supportive and may actually end up coming along so we are good there. His parents seem to be okay… maybe? I don’t know. I love them dearly and they have told us they are supportive of whatever we want to do but SO needs to actually tell them the plan. When we talked to them we just said that we may take a really amazing vacation and get married rather than have a wedding. I think we need to use the word ‘elope’ to make it clear what our plans are. His sister just got married so their family has been together recently and so it wouldn’t be like a much-needed family party or anything… The problem is that with my parents possibly joining us, I feel like I should invite them but I don’t think it’s really in the budget and I don’t want them to feel like they have to since the whole idea of eloping came from the fact that we are NOT accepting money from our parents towards our wedding.

Did you get all that? Lol.

Our engagement sneak peak should be on facebook any time now and I am dying!!!

Tell us lots! I promise to never get sick of wedding plans or billions of pictures!

I think including your daughter is wonderful! She'll be 6+ by your wedding? Even if she doesn't remember specifics, I'm sure she'll enjoy being a part and looking back at pictures in future years.

Would you feel better sending an invite to his parents also? You shouldn't feel like you have to pay everything for everyone (okay.... as the one who bought airplane tickets for oot guests and is still paying for all but one room at the winery --- easier said than done!). If you explain that you are eloping but want both sets of parents with you people should have no issue. Alternatively, if he is okay with it, your FI could talk to his parents and explain that you are eloping and no one will be there except you and your daughter. Your parents are there to babysit and take her home so you can have a few days to yourselves.

Wedding planning is emotional. Talk to your FI. Decide what you both want to do regarding parents. And stick with it. Don't let people bully you.

 

[audball]

This isn't for the small Western dinner party, which only FMIL will have religious dietary restrictions (my grandparents have restrictions but are not asking us to go out of our way for them). I already told SO that IDGAF if his mom starves that night (being over-dramatic). She needs to take care of herself. I'm ordering the food I want.

This is for the large Pakistani reception, and it won't just be for FMIL, it will be because half of his family have these dietary restrictions. I wouldn't go out of my way for 1 singular person, but I'll need to if it's half of the guests.

Ahh..I see. Yeah, half the guest list definitely means you have to accommodate their needs.

 

[audball]

If you explain that you are eloping but want both sets of parents with you people should have no issue. Alternatively, if he is okay with it, your FI could talk to his parents and explain that you are eloping and no one will be there except you and your daughter. Your parents are there to babysit and take her home so you can have a few days to yourselves.

Wedding planning is emotional. Talk to your FI. Decide what you both want to do regarding parents. And stick with it. Don't let people bully you.

I like both of these ideas. Either you want all your parents there to fully attend and be present, or you don't. If you don't, that's ok, but you have to be clear with everyone so there are no misunderstandings.

What is the plan with your parents? Will they truly just be there to babysit (ie: not attending your ceremony, just there to drop off/pick up/watch your daughter), or will they be guests who will then babysit for a few days? I think your FI's parents may be upset if yours are invited to the ceremony and they are not. Something to think about.

 

[TooPatient]

Picked up flowers yesterday!
Beautiful!

Now I have to put them together into a bouquet and maybe a bout & corsage.
Possibly table decorations?


I don't particularly care. The flowers will be what I figure out between now and then.

Thinking of single orchid bloom in wine glass of water.

 

[audball]

Picked up flowers yesterday!
Beautiful!

Now I have to put them together into a bouquet and maybe a bout & corsage.
Possibly table decorations?

I don't particularly care. The flowers will be what I figure out between now and then.

Thinking of single orchid bloom in wine glass of water.

Sounds beautiful! Don't forget to take pictures!! Can you believe the big day is TOMORROW!?!?!?!??!?!

 

[gem_anemone]

Good luck, Too Patient! I hope your day is amazing!!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Thanks gem!

Aud -- I know! It feels like this planning time has just gone so quickly! Another few days would be nice!


Picking up dress this morning. Had to reschedule, but will have it in just a few hours.
DH has an MRI that just got scheduled for today. Have to get the papers ready for that and take him in soon.

I may have started crying in the chiropractor's office this morning. The poor assistant didn't know what happened. She just got married a few weeks ago so when I reminded her that what is left of our wedding is tomorrow, she got it.
Need to call the winery and cancel the 2nd night stay. DH is having trouble even walking. It would just be a frustrating waste of time and money to stay another night. Will just plan to go back in the spring over my b-day.
Okay... I may still be crying. Have to figure out how to zip my own dress tomorrow. ("A" refuses to do this, I don't have any family or friends going to be there, may have to grab the photographer if she's there early enough). Have to get through the day without bursting into tears. Have to (hopefully) get to the winery early enough that DH can sit with ice & electrodes after the long car ride so he can make it through dinner. Get to spend our one night in the gorgeous house isolated on the edge of a gorge with DH laying on an ice pack and using various physical therapy gadgets.


ETA: I know it could be worse and am thankful that DH is doing as well as he is. I know there are women who have had their FIs die just days before a wedding. I know there are people who have their ceremonies in the hospital. I'm grateful that we aren't in that position. It just is not at all like I'd imagined.

 

[audball]

Picking up dress this morning. Had to reschedule, but will have it in just a few hours.
DH has an MRI that just got scheduled for today. Have to get the papers ready for that and take him in soon.

I may have started crying in the chiropractor's office this morning. The poor assistant didn't know what happened. She just got married a few weeks ago so when I reminded her that what is left of our wedding is tomorrow, she got it.
Need to call the winery and cancel the 2nd night stay. DH is having trouble even walking. It would just be a frustrating waste of time and money to stay another night. Will just plan to go back in the spring over my b-day.
Okay... I may still be crying. Have to figure out how to zip my own dress tomorrow. ("A" refuses to do this, I don't have any family or friends going to be there, may have to grab the photographer if she's there early enough). Have to get through the day without bursting into tears. Have to (hopefully) get to the winery early enough that DH can sit with ice & electrodes after the long car ride so he can make it through dinner. Get to spend our one night in the gorgeous house isolated on the edge of a gorge with DH laying on an ice pack and using various physical therapy gadgets.

ETA: I know it could be worse and am thankful that DH is doing as well as he is. I know there are women who have had their FIs die just days before a wedding. I know there are people who have their ceremonies in the hospital. I'm grateful that we aren't in that position. It just is not at all like I'd imagined.

Aww, TP! I'm sorry sweetie! You should not have to be stressed or upset right now. I wish we could be there to help! Lots of prayers and positive thoughts headed your way. I hope you and your DH are able to still enjoy the time you have there despite the way things have turned out. It's still your day and you should try to relax and enjoy it. Screw everything and everybody else. ((hugs))

 

[TooPatient]

MRI done. That was a painful mess. Poor DH pushed the "Get me out NOW" button twice and got ignored. I finally had to tell them to get him out or I would.

Dress picked up.

Heading for tux place now.

No lunch. No breakfast. 8 shots of espresso.

Still have to prep for the mikvah. Looking like that will be a quick shower.

No clue about dinner. Looks like take out.


Oooo!!!!
But all of our rings got polished up pretty!

 

[audball]

Oh hun! It sounds like a rough day. I know you still have so much to do, but try to find some time to just unwind together tonight and think about what tomorrow really means for you two. It's a big day! It's an important and special day and I truly wish you all the best! You and your DH will be in my thoughts tonight and tomorrow! I can't wait to see your photos!

 

[TooPatient]

Tux picked up. Fits great!

Cake lady called!
Talk about shock. She's going to bring the cake on Friday and put the flowers on it on site.

Gotta run to get ready for mikvah!


Quiet relax sometime tonight. Excited for tomorrow even with all the crazy!

 

[Mico]

Tux picked up. Fits great!

Cake lady called!
Talk about shock. She's going to bring the cake on Friday and put the flowers on it on site.

Gotta run to get ready for mikvah!


Quiet relax sometime tonight. Excited for tomorrow even with all the crazy!

I love how you are staying so positive! Have an amazing day tomorrow!!!

 

[audball]

Quiet relax sometime tonight. Excited for tomorrow even with all the crazy!

I love how you are staying so positive! Have an amazing day tomorrow!!!

 

[TooPatient]

Quiet relax sometime tonight. Excited for tomorrow even with all the crazy!

I love how you are staying so positive! Have an amazing day tomorrow!!!

Thanks!

There have been so many wonderfully supportive people through this process (especially here!) that I'm just trying to focus on those people and the fact that we're married!!!

Survived the mikvah. It is supposed to be great and relaxing and spiritual and all that.... I'm horribly afraid of water. So I am absolutely thrilled that I (voluntarily!) went through the process. Preparations were nice (think mandatory long hot bath and pampering ) and the lady was nice to work with. The dunking itself... not so much. I swallowed more water than I left behind but my sinuses are all cleared out

I have the dress for "A" in to wash now. Mine is hanging safely away from cats. DH's tux is ready to load in the car. I'm not bothering with flowers for tomorrow unless the lady at the winery wants to put a few out on the table for me.

Still haven't canceled 2nd night. Not sure if it is too late to do that or not..
Should let my brother know that he volunteered to drop "A" off at home on his way by just in case we do stay 2nd night -- no way am I going home if they are going to charge us anyway!

 

[TooPatient]

Poor DH is in bed with his icepack.

He's had a long day with the MRI and stuff and then "A" had to demonstrate exactly why I don't want homework and stuff brought to the winery. She just flat out told him that all of her family is from one country. When he explained (again) that his grandparents came from this other country, she just repeated that the assignment is supposed to be her family. It went a bit further until she pretty much straight out told him that her mother and aunt (mother's sister) are her family and he isn't.

So it is after 11pm and I'm trying to explain to a 14 year old what exactly she just said and get DH to relax. (FWIW, her mother told her from a baby that she and "A" and Aunt are family and "B" is there to serve them. She even told "A" that she had to call him "B" and not dad. -- So she did say what she was thinking it is just that she has been taught very wrong.)


Gah!

Okay.... Back to explaining & comforting...



Oh -- If you plan to drive to your wedding, make sure your car is empty and clean some time before the night before the wedding

 

[audball]

HAPPY WEDDING DAY TP!!!! We're all sending positive vibes your way for a beautiful day!! Relax, enjoy it, and soak up every moment! We'll see you on the flip side!

 

[madelise]

signed online really quick before class to tell you, CONGRATULATIONS, TP!!!!! Enjoy your day!!!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Congrats TP! Happy Wedding Day!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Okay, we got some teaser pics back. I am not super in love with them but there are 200 more coming soon so I am not too worried!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Crap, i stink! School is a killer! TP HAPPY BELATED WEDDING DAY!! I hope everything went out OK. You are one resilient young lady! Can't wait to hear about it!

AS: OH MY GOODNESS! Your teaser pics are incredible! You are beautiful! You guys are so adorable together! I LOVE the coral/pink shoes with the navy dress! Thank you for sharing!!!!!

PS, love the sign too! Did you make it...? Buy it from etsy...? etc

 

[audball]

AS!! You are beautiful!! I think they look great! Please post more when you get them!!

LLC -- sorry school has you bogged down! I hope things are going well!!

TP -- I can't wait for you to come back and tell us all about your day yesterday and pictures today!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Wow, that is really sweet of you both. Thank you. You made my day.

LLC, I got that old wood frame from my grandmother and then I traced pretty letters onto black scrapbooking paper and wrote on it with a white paint pen. I made another one that says, "We're Eloping!" I like that one best.

Aud, How many more days? 12?? OMG.

 

[audball]

Wow, that is really sweet of you both. Thank you. You made my day.

Yay! It's all true!

Aud, How many more days? 12?? OMG.

OMG YES! Just 12 more days! FI has continued the sweet rhyming sayings on our little white board every day when he changes the number. Today, he accidentally went down to 11 instead of 12. I sent him a text and said he missed one, he said "Oops! Guess I wish it was closer!" Aww! I.can't.wait!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

LLC, I got that old wood frame from my grandmother and then I traced pretty letters onto black scrapbooking paper and wrote on it with a white paint pen. I made another one that says, "We're Eloping!" I like that one best.
\

I wish i was crafty!!! I love the idea of a "we're eloping" one!!!!

AUD!!!!! almost single digits for you lady!!!! WOOHOO!

Received my fakie flowers last night. They are now safely in their box with a dust cover on them till next year. I also got a pink gerber daisy bout with pink ribbon. I don't think i expected the bouquet to be SO BIG, but i'm not complaining! I figured i can post a few pics! I got it from wedideas.com and the ladies were fantastic to work with and really helped me create a bouquet i am completely IN LOVE WITH and at a much cheaper cost than the craptastic options at sandals....BONUS - i can keep them forever Sorry, the pics aren't so great! I rushed home after clinical and just snapped a few pics!



Also, after a few drinks - we frolicked into T&Co and my consultant was working. I buy myself "something" every semester that i do well in school so i was looking for my "gift" at the end of the semester. Well, i ended up buying SO's wedding band. It's the double milgrain band in platinum. LOL. Another thing crossed off my list, i suppose! So, i told him - no touching it! I will be able to tell if it's tampered with because the bow was tied so perfectly. I get up this morning and he is wearing it while watching the news and surfing the web! LOL WTF!!!