getting lost in stupid stuff

[audball]

E-mailed winery about dessert.

Plan is to add dessert to dinner. If no cake shows up, fine. If it does we'll keep it for Friday and cut with photographer.

Dessert -- requested something fruity. Maybe poached pears or an apple dessert. Pretty much up to chef. I'm thrilled with whatever he creates.

Sounds like a good plan! I'm happy to see that you're just taking things as they come! I absolutely am certain that your positive outlook will help you remain happy with how the day actually unfolds despite anything that may not go as planned.

 

[audball]

They're beautiful, Aud! It's so nice to have a part of your grandmother with you on your big day!

Thanks madelise! I'm happy to have it settled! My older sister owns them now, but my little sister also wore them as her something borrowed for her wedding! My great grandmother passed in 2002 and left them to my grandmother who passed them to my older sister for her college graduation in 2008. I wish I'd gotten them! But ah well. At least I get to borrow them and had a chance to clean them up! I'm taking them to the jeweler when I go take my ring for polishing/replating next week to have them check on the prongs and overall stability of the settings since she hasn't had anything done to them since she got them and they probably hadn't been cleaned/checked in many years prior to that.

 

[audball]

Yaaaaaay!!! So exciting!!!

Thanks Mico!!

 

[TooPatient]

WOW! That was long! I'm sure mine has evolved and changed too! Just goes to show how things change throughout the planning process! I'm so ready for this part to be over and be on to the married bliss part! You reminded me, though, I need to add thank you cards to my to-do list!

It has been an interesting process! I thought I had a great list of everything I'd need but there was always something else popping up on a list posted here that I'd forgotten all about.

Planning is ALMOST over!!!!
I'm with you on that one! It needs to be done so we can get on with the rest of life.

 

[TooPatient]

Holy moly look at you killing that to do list audball!!!! How does that work with the government shut down, getting your marriage licenses?? I was at a wedding this weekend and the groom was talking about how his new wife can't change her last name yet because the offices aren't open. Is it a different division really? (I admit I know pretty much nothing about this shut down oops). Otherwise, those studs look great on you, I'm glad you got a nice something old and finally got some earrings that will be just perfect.

Thanks!! Getting the marriage license is no problem because that is done at the county level in each state. The problem comes with changing your name legally because the first step in doing that is to get it changed at the social security office which is federal level and closed with the government shutdown. I'm hoping they figure it out soon because I wanted to get on the paperwork for my name change right away! My sister got married on 9/14 and she still hasn't been able to get her name change process started.

Thanks for the earrings compliment! They're actually going to be my something borrowed, they also happen to be old. My younger sister also borrowed them from my older sister for her wedding so that's kind of a nice thing to share!

Good to know about the name change stuff!
I hadn't really considered that part when I was going through the list of stuff shut down and the list of stuff running normally. I guess it does make sense because social security is a federal program and you need that sort of thing to be administered by and filed by federal employees.

What a wonderful connection with your earrings! They are beautiful. I'm glad they are getting used and loved (even if your sister needs to learn how to clean them!).

 

[audball]

Planning is ALMOST over!!!!
I'm with you on that one! It needs to be done so we can get on with the rest of life.

Ditto! I feel like all of our other goals and things have been set aside while we've been saving/planning for the wedding. I'm ready to see our bank account growing again (vs. standing still, or dropping with vendor payments), and making some headway on real life!

 

[audball]

Good to know about the name change stuff!
I hadn't really considered that part when I was going through the list of stuff shut down and the list of stuff running normally. I guess it does make sense because social security is a federal program and you need that sort of thing to be administered by and filed by federal employees.

What a wonderful connection with your earrings! They are beautiful. I'm glad they are getting used and loved (even if your sister needs to learn how to clean them!).

Yes! Changing my name is a big part of what I've been looking forward to! I know it can take up to 2 weeks to get the certified copy of your marriage license back in order to take that step, coupled with the fact that our wedding is still just over 2 weeks out, I'm hoping the government is back up and running in that time frame so I can head straight to the SS office once I have the license in hand!

And yes! I'm very happy about how the earring situation worked out. They're prettier than I remember (especially after CLEANING them).

 

[TooPatient]

Good to know about the name change stuff!
I hadn't really considered that part when I was going through the list of stuff shut down and the list of stuff running normally. I guess it does make sense because social security is a federal program and you need that sort of thing to be administered by and filed by federal employees.

What a wonderful connection with your earrings! They are beautiful. I'm glad they are getting used and loved (even if your sister needs to learn how to clean them!).

Yes! Changing my name is a big part of what I've been looking forward to! I know it can take up to 2 weeks to get the certified copy of your marriage license back in order to take that step, coupled with the fact that our wedding is still just over 2 weeks out, I'm hoping the government is back up and running in that time frame so I can head straight to the SS office once I have the license in hand!

And yes! I'm very happy about how the earring situation worked out. They're prettier than I remember (especially after CLEANING them).

Two WEEKS!?!?

I wonder what our judge had to do in order to have them ready for us to pick up less than an hour later?
We went out for coffee with our witnesses and came back 45 minutes later. They had three certified copies ready and waiting.

 

[TooPatient]

TP! Eek your wedding is coming up so soon!!! How are you feeling?

Audball - I was just going to ask you about your bridal shower. I'm glad you got such a loving FMIL and friend to throw that for you! You *did* get some really nice gifts!


------

Personal update: had my first planning meeting last night with my planner slash best friend. I gave her a list of about 20 venues I'm having her contact for the logistics and she and her cousin are going to do all the planning and hard work for up until the wedding. On the days-of, they're hiring another person to coordinate while they attend as guests.

Her feedback to me is that our budget might be too small for what we need. Southern CA is more expensive than I imagined. Her typical clients have weddings for about 150 people, and spend about $50K. I'm trying to spend less than that for TWO weddings, for 50 people, then 250 people. Barf. I found some more affordable venue options, but the food restrictions that FI's family has is probably going to make or break those venue choices Le sigh. I'm trying to not fall in love with any of the options since that would create some issues if it doesn't work out… but I've fallen in love with this one venue that is about 15-20 minutes away from my grandparent's house. It's just stunning. However, it's outdoors and my date has a 20% chance of precipitation at any time of the day. BFF has gotta figure that one out.

Next Friday, FI and I are going to go check out two restaurants for our small engagement dinner party with the two families. They're very close to my house (less than 5 minutes away), and not very "nice" looking places… but Chinese restaurant and nice are usually not descriptors used together One's a seafood restaurant and one's a vegetarian restaurant. The problem is *always* with FMIL and her dietary pickiness/religious restrictions.

Yay!

I'm glad you have a friend who is going to do a lot of the planning stuff for you. The detail chasing (calling venues, negotiating contracts, following up, tracking down missing bakers, etc) can get SOOOoo overwhelming (more like "Gah!!!").

 

[audball]

Two WEEKS!?!?

I wonder what our judge had to do in order to have them ready for us to pick up less than an hour later?
We went out for coffee with our witnesses and came back 45 minutes later. They had three certified copies ready and waiting.

Maybe processing varies by state? I know most of my friends got theirs in the mail after the wedding all within two weeks.I have no clue if that's standard. Our wedding is out of state so that may add to processing time? I was just trying to come up with a ballpark. Awesome that you got yours right away!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Engagement pictures are done! And I LOVED our photographer! She was awesome and had so many fun ideas! I made a couple of chalkboard signs too that turned out cute. One said, “Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname” and the other said “We’re Eloping!” We are hoping to use the eloping one to announce our elopement and invite people to our BBQ after our trip. I will post some when I get them in a couple weeks!

Aud, love the choice of earrings! How neat to have a piece of your grandmother’s jewelry for your big day. Speaking of! I can’t believe it’s so close!!!

Mad, love that you have a planner! Jealous!

TP, Love the pictures! You guys look so happy!

Mini update for us: SO agreed to call his mom this week and talk to her about our elopement and make sure she is okay with it. I love her and I need her to be alright with everything. Then we can start moving forward with the planning and choosing a date. We’ve narrowed down the location to a few choices but I am anxious to have a date.

 

[audball]

Engagement pictures are done! And I LOVED our photographer! She was awesome and had so many fun ideas! I made a couple of chalkboard signs too that turned out cute. One said, “Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Hislastname” and the other said “We’re Eloping!” We are hoping to use the eloping one to announce our elopement and invite people to our BBQ after our trip. I will post some when I get them in a couple weeks!

Squee! I can't WAIT to see them!!

Aud, love the choice of earrings! How neat to have a piece of your grandmother’s jewelry for your big day. Speaking of! I can’t believe it’s so close!!!

16 days to go! FI is so cute...we have a countdown going on our a mini white board on the fridge (we use it to write down needed groceries and such) and he left me a sweet note before he left for work today that said "16...until I get to marry my Queen". I love that he's so excited too!

Mini update for us: SO agreed to call his mom this week and talk to her about our elopement and make sure she is okay with it. I love her and I need her to be alright with everything. Then we can start moving forward with the planning and choosing a date. We've narrowed down the location to a few choices but I am anxious to have a date.

You'll feel SO SO SO much better once your plans are laid out and people are in the know. I can't wait to hear more details about your plans!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Love that note!! How sweet and adorable! You've got a keeper!

When SO and I were done with pictures last night, he highfived me and was like, "We did it! Now on to the wedding!!!" It was so cute to see him happy and excited.

We are lucky ladies!

 

[audball]

Love that note!! How sweet and adorable! You've got a keeper!

When SO and I were done with pictures last night, he highfived me and was like, "We did it! Now on to the wedding!!!" It was so cute to see him happy and excited.

We are lucky ladies!

Aww, that's adorable! We certainly are lucky ladies! So...are you going to spill your tentative plans or do we have to wait!? What places have you narrowed down to!? I totally need something else (besides my own elopement) to fixate on!

 

[TooPatient]

Love that note!! How sweet and adorable! You've got a keeper!

When SO and I were done with pictures last night, he highfived me and was like, "We did it! Now on to the wedding!!!" It was so cute to see him happy and excited.

We are lucky ladies!

Aww, that's adorable! We certainly are lucky ladies! So...are you going to spill your tentative plans or do we have to wait!? What places have you narrowed down to!? I totally need something else (besides my own elopement) to fixate on!

We need to know!!!

 

[audball]

I just emailed my hair/makeup artist and photographer to confirm times, locations, services, etc. It's going to be here SO fast.

 

[audball]

Updates to the list! Thought of a few more to-do items!

DONE:
His wedding band
Her wedding band
Her dress
His suit/shirt/tie
Booked hair/makeup for day of
Booked elopement package
Booked additional nights stay
Selected officiant
Selected cake style/flavors
Purchased cake topper supplies
Booked dinner reservations for wedding dinner
Booked photographer
Ordered flower selections
Wrote personal vows
Finalized ceremony script and got it approved by the officiant
Scheduled engagement pictures
Purchased new point and shoot camera for trip
Purchased garment bags to transport wedding outfits
Purchased outfits for engagement pictures
Purchased clutch
Purchased stationary (small cards/envelopes) to write vows on for ceremony and to have as a keepsake
Purchased fun socks for Groom
Purchased bridal hair accessory
Purchased undergarments for dress
Made spa appointments for pre-wedding beautification!
Assembled vows/stationary
Assembled/finished cake topper
Restrung pearls finished picked up
Purchased bridal shoes
Borrowed wedding earrings

IN PROGRESS:
Get dress altered

TO DO:
Thank you cards
Get engagement ring polished/replated
Put together final payments/cash tips for vendors
Go to spa appointments for beauty treatments
MARRIAGE LICENSE
Make sure all vendor bills have been played in full
Review wedding vendors online

 

[pandabee]

Ah, that makes sense about the county vs federal issues in terms of who takes care of what. Good to know!

 

[audball]

Ah, that makes sense about the county vs federal issues in terms of who takes care of what. Good to know!

 

[TooPatient]

Day after tomorrow!


Rescheduled mikvah to Wednesday.
Picking up tux and ketubah frame today.
Start to pack.
Schedule nails for Thursday morning (unless the place is open late enough Wed to do after mikvah -- can't go there with polished nails)

Dessert confirmed. Still can't reach baker about cake.
Dog hotel confirmed.

 

[audball]

Day after tomorrow!

Rescheduled mikvah to Wednesday.
Picking up tux and ketubah frame today.
Start to pack.
Schedule nails for Thursday morning (unless the place is open late enough Wed to do after mikvah -- can't go there with polished nails)

Dessert confirmed. Still can't reach baker about cake.
Dog hotel confirmed.

SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it's literally almost here. 2 days!? Are you kidding me!? Where has the time gone!? I don't even know what I'm going to do with my free time in a few weeks when we don't have each other's wedding status to check up on!

What did the chef come up with for the dessert? I'm so curious! I hope your day turns out to be everything you wanted it to be!!

 

[TooPatient]

Day after tomorrow!

Rescheduled mikvah to Wednesday.
Picking up tux and ketubah frame today.
Start to pack.
Schedule nails for Thursday morning (unless the place is open late enough Wed to do after mikvah -- can't go there with polished nails)

Dessert confirmed. Still can't reach baker about cake.
Dog hotel confirmed.

SQUEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe it's literally almost here. 2 days!? Are you kidding me!? Where has the time gone!? I don't even know what I'm going to do with my free time in a few weeks when we don't have each other's wedding status to check up on!

What did the chef come up with for the dessert? I'm so curious! I hope your day turns out to be everything you wanted it to be!!

I don't know!

I'll find out dessert on Thursday. Will be a surprise to me too!

Life is going to get so boring in a few weeks! I won't know what to do (okay... homework?) during the early morning hour I'm up and no one else around here is (weekdays I am up and posting before 6am). Have to do something or I'll be sleeping again!

I guess LLC, WD, Niel, and all the others here will have to put up with us sticking around


Oh... and I'm already getting "So when do I get to start shopping for baby clothes!?!? "
Um....

 

[audball]

FUN! Hopefully it's something you'll love!

I'm looking forward to be a boring old married lady! Lol. Wedding planning is exhausting. I'll definitely be sticking around and lurking (if not posting) for the ladies who are still planning!

And already!? Really!? Not a soul has brought up a baby to us -- we've been pretty firm in saying we're still 5+ years out on that though...

 

[TooPatient]

FUN! Hopefully it's something you'll love!

I'm looking forward to be a boring old married lady! Lol. Wedding planning is exhausting. I'll definitely be sticking around and lurking (if not posting) for the ladies who are still planning!

And already!? Really!? Not a soul has brought up a baby to us -- we've been pretty firm in saying we're still 5+ years out on that though...

I specified something with fruit and non-dairy. He may or may not use fruit, but I think he will because he should have fresh pears and apples on his trees.


Here is a snip from an e-mail I got just hours after signing civil papers:

"Next, I get to shop for baby outfits, right? And have a girl---their stuff is much cuter!"


She's known DH for almost 20 years. He and I have been together for almost 10 years now (known each other longer than that) so that probably makes people figure it will be soon.
I'm also not super young (28 --- which isn't too old!) and he's 29 years older than me... (I suppose this would probably be the thing that has people thinking sooner rather than later)

 

[audball]

I specified something with fruit and non-dairy. He may or may not use fruit, but I think he will because he should have fresh pears and apples on his trees.

I can't wait to hear what he came up with! Snap a picture for us!

Here is a snip from an e-mail I got just hours after signing civil papers:

"Next, I get to shop for baby outfits, right? And have a girl---their stuff is much cuter!"

She's known DH for almost 20 years. He and I have been together for almost 10 years now (known each other longer than that) so that probably makes people figure it will be soon.
I'm also not super young (28 --- which isn't too old!) and he's 29 years older than me... (I suppose this would probably be the thing that has people thinking sooner rather than later)

Oh goodness! Haha. I guess the fact that you've been together for nearly 10 years probably has as much to do with as anything. How many kids do you think you guys want to have?

 

[TooPatient]

I specified something with fruit and non-dairy. He may or may not use fruit, but I think he will because he should have fresh pears and apples on his trees.

I can't wait to hear what he came up with! Snap a picture for us!

Here is a snip from an e-mail I got just hours after signing civil papers:

"Next, I get to shop for baby outfits, right? And have a girl---their stuff is much cuter!"

She's known DH for almost 20 years. He and I have been together for almost 10 years now (known each other longer than that) so that probably makes people figure it will be soon.
I'm also not super young (28 --- which isn't too old!) and he's 29 years older than me... (I suppose this would probably be the thing that has people thinking sooner rather than later)

Oh goodness! Haha. I guess the fact that you've been together for nearly 10 years probably has as much to do with as anything. How many kids do you think you guys want to have?

Lots of pictures!
No photographer for that part, but I'll make sure to get pictures of stuff!

This woman is so funny! She is not afraid to speak her mind on any topic. (did I mention she's a psychologist?)
We'd been talking generic concept only so 1-2 kids. Then NO kids. Now after having time to really think and getting life more in order, we're both in agreement that one would be nice. He's finally (thanks to the wedding mess) decided that waiting for "all the stars to line up just right" is not a great idea... That is how the wedding kept getting put off a year at a time. There is NEVER a time when you are absolutely financially secure, in the "perfect" position career wise, have "enough" supportive people to offer assistance, etc.

 

[audball]

Lots of pictures!
No photographer for that part, but I'll make sure to get pictures of stuff!

This woman is so funny! She is not afraid to speak her mind on any topic. (did I mention she's a psychologist?)
We'd been talking generic concept only so 1-2 kids. Then NO kids. Now after having time to really think and getting life more in order, we're both in agreement that one would be nice. He's finally (thanks to the wedding mess) decided that waiting for "all the stars to line up just right" is not a great idea... That is how the wedding kept getting put off a year at a time. There is NEVER a time when you are absolutely financially secure, in the "perfect" position career wise, have "enough" supportive people to offer assistance, etc.

I can't wait to see!!

I get you -- we've had in depth talks about being on the fence and agreeing that we can see ourselves being happy with or without children. We're both fairly certain that we'll get to a point where we'll want to start a family, but have many things we want to accomplish and do as just a couple first. We have agreed that we'll likely be early-mid 30s parents at the very least (we'll both be 27 in December). We've talked about just having one as well, but never say never! We're open to see how life unfolds for us and are excited for the adventure.

And it's true, there really is NEVER a perfect time, but I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. Everything in due time!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Okay here are our current plans!

Sorry. I can’t remember who I tell and who is sick of hearing about the plans.

So our plan right now is to elope to Key West next February or March...as in 2015. We were hoping to do it in 2014 but we really want to be able to go on some excursions and have plenty of time to save up some money. My parents may come along for a couple of the days so that my daughter can also be there and attend our wedding. They really want to come. My daughter is 5 and too small to understand the wedding part but I would really love to include her and have her there. We are also looking at the Bahamas but I keep hearing that if you stay in one city, it’s hard to drive up the coast or anywhere else because traffic is just awful and we really don’t want to spend that much time worrying about traveling from activity to activity. So the next option would be a cruise but I am almost fully ruling this out based on the cost of the wedding itself. I have found some amazing cruise packages but then the beach wedding ceremony costs almost double the actual cruise for the two of us… just crazy! So we may just go on a cruise in a few years when we find an amazing good deal.

Then, when we come back… that May or June we will have a BBQ type event at my parent’s house. They have an amazing yard and we can set up a tent and maybe grill or have catering of some kind and invite 80-100 people to come and hang out with us.

My parents are supportive and may actually end up coming along so we are good there. His parents seem to be okay… maybe? I don’t know. I love them dearly and they have told us they are supportive of whatever we want to do but SO needs to actually tell them the plan. When we talked to them we just said that we may take a really amazing vacation and get married rather than have a wedding. I think we need to use the word ‘elope’ to make it clear what our plans are. His sister just got married so their family has been together recently and so it wouldn’t be like a much-needed family party or anything… The problem is that with my parents possibly joining us, I feel like I should invite them but I don’t think it’s really in the budget and I don’t want them to feel like they have to since the whole idea of eloping came from the fact that we are NOT accepting money from our parents towards our wedding.

Did you get all that? Lol.

Our engagement sneak peak should be on facebook any time now and I am dying!!!

 

[audball]

Okay here are our current plans!

Sorry. I can’t remember who I tell and who is sick of hearing about the plans.

We are most definitely NOT the ones who are sick of hearing about the plans!!

So our plan right now is to elope to Key West next February or March...as in 2015. We were hoping to do it in 2014 but we really want to be able to go on some excursions and have plenty of time to save up some money. My parents may come along for a couple of the days so that my daughter can also be there and attend our wedding. They really want to come. My daughter is 5 and too small to understand the wedding part but I would really love to include her and have her there. We are also looking at the Bahamas but I keep hearing that if you stay in one city, it’s hard to drive up the coast or anywhere else because traffic is just awful and we really don’t want to spend that much time worrying about traveling from activity to activity. So the next option would be a cruise but I am almost fully ruling this out based on the cost of the wedding itself. I have found some amazing cruise packages but then the beach wedding ceremony costs almost double the actual cruise for the two of us… just crazy! So we may just go on a cruise in a few years when we find an amazing good deal.

Woohoo! Weather in FL is usually really nice in February and March! If you come in March, make sure to pre-check Florida school's spring break weeks, particularly the college spring break week (which is usually different from public secondary schools), because Key West is a cheap and quick getaway for college students. You don't want to be on your honeymoon when they're on Spring Break!

I think having your parents there so that your daughter can be included in your ceremony is a great idea. The Bahamas are beautiful but yes, traffic can be terrible if you're wanting to be and go around more than just a city or a single resort. And I agree that cruise weddings are pretty cost prohibitive. Bummer that it has to be 2015, but I totally see how it'll make things easier on the budget to have more time. Not to mention, it's really just over a year away!

Then, when we come back… that May or June we will have a BBQ type event at my parent’s house. They have an amazing yard and we can set up a tent and maybe grill or have catering of some kind and invite 80-100 people to come and hang out with us.

Love this idea! I think everyone would really enjoy that. We're kind of planning something similar, but a tad more formal. We're looking hosting a dinner at a nice restaurant in a private room for 25-30 people in February (about 4 months after the wedding) to share our pictures and have our families officially meet (they haven't yet!).

My parents are supportive and may actually end up coming along so we are good there. His parents seem to be okay… maybe? I don’t know. I love them dearly and they have told us they are supportive of whatever we want to do but SO needs to actually tell them the plan. When we talked to them we just said that we may take a really amazing vacation and get married rather than have a wedding. I think we need to use the word ‘elope’ to make it clear what our plans are. His sister just got married so their family has been together recently and so it wouldn’t be like a much-needed family party or anything… The problem is that with my parents possibly joining us, I feel like I should invite them but I don’t think it’s really in the budget and I don’t want them to feel like they have to since the whole idea of eloping came from the fact that we are NOT accepting money from our parents towards our wedding.

It's always nice to have support! Deciding to elope is very personal and I think so many people forget that the wedding and how it happens really should be about the couple and not about the family (or at least not ONLY about the family). We had a similar scenario in that FI's brother was just married in Spring 2012 and my sister was just married last month so both families recently got the big family get together/celebration and we're on board with our plans. I totally feel your pain on the maybe invite some but not all...ultimately we decided it was all immediate family or no immediate family so we went with no guests. Granted, we don't have any kids which I think makes things a bit different. Do you think his parents would want to come?

Our engagement sneak peak should be on facebook any time now and I am dying!!!

You better post some for us here! I can't wait to see! What did you guys end up deciding to wear anyway?

 

[madelise]

I officially made a [email protected] email address for both myself and the planners to use! I'm watching all the response emails to the emails that my planner sent out. I get nauseated reading through them! There's this one *BEAUTIFUL* venue that can fit up to 200 people that is owned and run by the culinary students at a state university. It's so affordable and so beautiful. But they just responded that their head chef said that they can't do a halal meal, and that if we have special dietary needs, they recommend us to use another caterer. We'd have to buy out their kitchen, basically. Le sigh. I knew this dietary sh*t was going to be the end of my enjoyment….