getting lost in stupid stuff

[audball]

I find this so hard to believe, but in the past week I've booked two very important vendors! And best of all, both were willing to work with us budget-wise. I can't believe we've been so lucky so far (knock on wood).
We booked our amazing florist, whose work I've been following for many years before I even got engaged: Floral Artistry by Alison Ellis
And our incredible photographer: Hannah Weddings

By the way, choosing a photographer was quite the struggle. I went to film school and even had a photography business at some point, so I'm *very* picky when it comes to photography. None of the VT options I could find seemed like a good fit and I was even considering finding somebody in MA and paying a hefty travel fee... But then I came across these guys by pure chance and it was love at first sight.
Then I kept putting off writing them and email, because if they weren't available, or didn't do custom packages, I had no backup plan and would have been completely heartbroken... The whole prep process was pretty nerve wracking, but what a relief that everything turned out so well!

Yay, congrats! Big vendors always feel good to check off the to-do list! Beautiful choices!

 

[audball]

Oh my goodness, TooPatient, I can't even begin to express how happy and excited I am to be working with such awesome vendors!
I think it helps that our wedding is on a Sunday, so when we were asking them to work with us budget-wise it's not a situation where they'll be potentially missing out on a full price Saturday August wedding to accommodate our lower-price custom package.

I had actually contacted 3 florists, as I was pretty sure Floral Artistry was out of our price range/not interested in such small events. One wasn't available on our date, one emailed me asking what I had in mind, I replied with a long detailed email including our estimated budget and... never heard back, while Alison was the only person who spent over an hour talking with me on the phone, encouraging me to send her pinterest links and generally being so nice, helpful, and most importantly enthusiastic about the whole thing in spite of the fact that it's such a small order. She was also sweet enough to give us a sizable military discount, which brought our pre-tax total to under our desired budget!

And the photographer - there I just honestly had no backup plan whatsoever. I think we got incredibly lucky - they've only had their wedding photography business in VT for about a year, and aren't as well known (yet!) as a lot of the other VT photographers (most of which can't even come close to Hannah Weddings as far as I'm concerned...), so between that and the Sunday wedding there was more room for flexibility.
We haven't yet decided on the engagement shoot. If we do one, it will probably be no earlier than May (not sure I want a 2 hour outdoor session in Vermont winter!), so we'll just have to see where we are budget-wise by then. I really want to do one, especially since I'm so uncomfortable in front of the camera, but we'll see!

Also, I think wedding nightmares might be a new PS trend - I had something about a cake that woke me up at 4:45 and I wasn't able to go back to sleep, ugh.

What amazing progress and luck! I definitely think considering an engagement shoot is worthwhile if you can swing it. I think it really helps get you ready for the day full of cameras and helps you figure out what worked/didn't work and if you liked/hated certain positions, etc.

 

[recordaras]

What amazing progress and luck! I definitely think considering an engagement shoot is worthwhile if you can swing it. I think it really helps get you ready for the day full of cameras and helps you figure out what worked/didn't work and if you liked/hated certain positions, etc.

Yes, I'd love love love to do one, but I won't be surprised if at some point we decide to not spend another cent on the wedding. My fiance even requested that I not show him the budget spreadsheet, so as not to freak out at the amount of money being spent on one day... So we'll have to wait and see. (Fingers crossed for decent tax return)

And speaking of the earlier question regarding to-do lists, I found this pdf super helpful: http://www.russellandhazel.com/PDF/WeddingTemplate.pdf It's very detailed, so I printed out only the stuff that's relevant for us, but their timeline seems to make quite a bit of sense! And nothing gives me more pleasure than physically checking off those boxes.

Potential issues for us type A folks can best be illustrated with this exchange I had with my fiance last weekend:
Me: "Do you think we should organize some kind of dinner for our parents when they arrive?" (Mine live on a different continent, so they've never met in person)
FI: "I think we should be careful to not take on too much and lose our sanity in this whole planning process - I'm sure our parents will be able to figure it out without our help"
Me: "BUT THE TIMELINE SAYS WE HAVE TO INTRODUCE PARENTS 12 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING!!!"

So now that unchecked box is going to bug me this whole time!

 

[audball]

Yes, I'd love love love to do one, but I won't be surprised if at some point we decide to not spend another cent on the wedding. My fiance even requested that I not show him the budget spreadsheet, so as not to freak out at the amount of money being spent on one day... So we'll have to wait and see. (Fingers crossed for decent tax return)

Totally understandable. We didn't budget for one (and knew it wouldn't really serve the real purpose of getting to know our wedding photographer anyway since we did semi-destination). We ended up (luckily) winning a 1 hour photo shoot giveaway by a local photographer here where we live and that was nice to break the ice and have some shots taken even though they weren't with our wedding day photographer.

And speaking of the earlier question regarding to-do lists, I found this pdf super helpful: http://www.russellandhazel.com/PDF/WeddingTemplate.pdf It's very detailed, so I printed out only the stuff that's relevant for us, but their timeline seems to make quite a bit of sense! And nothing gives me more pleasure than physically checking off those boxes.

I loved checking things off my to-do list too! That's a nice to do list!

Potential issues for us type A folks can best be illustrated with this exchange I had with my fiance last weekend:
Me: "Do you think we should organize some kind of dinner for our parents when they arrive?" (Mine live on a different continent, so they've never met in person)
FI: "I think we should be careful to not take on too much and lose our sanity in this whole planning process - I'm sure our parents will be able to figure it out without our help"
Me: "BUT THE TIMELINE SAYS WE HAVE TO INTRODUCE PARENTS 12 MONTHS BEFORE THE WEDDING!!!"

So now that unchecked box is going to bug me this whole time!

LOL! This made me laugh so hard. I can totally relate. I was freaking out that The Knot kept telling me things were overdue when I hadn't started things yet. The one that drove me the most batty was the marriage license. They start telling you to prep for it 2 or so months out and that you should get it as soon as you can within the legal time frame (most states it's 4-6 weeks). We couldn't get ours until the day before since we wouldn't be in town before then and every time I logged in it told me it was so many days past due! Haha.

 

[recordaras]

LOL! This made me laugh so hard. I can totally relate. I was freaking out that The Knot kept telling me things were overdue when I hadn't started things yet. The one that drove me the most batty was the marriage license. They start telling you to prep for it 2 or so months out and that you should get it as soon as you can within the legal time frame (most states it's 4-6 weeks). We couldn't get ours until the day before since we wouldn't be in town before then and every time I logged in it told me it was so many days past due! Haha.

I hate to admit this, but I've actually stopped logging in to The Knot and all those wedding apps because of that exact thing! The red items were driving me NUTS - at least they don't change color on a printed out sheet in my binder.

 

[audball]

I hate to admit this, but I've actually stopped logging in to The Knot and all those wedding apps because of that exact thing! The red items were driving me NUTS - at least they don't change color on a printed out sheet in my binder.

Lol! I would only periodically log in when I knew I had lots of things I could check off!

 

[Mico]

Ditto, I log in only to make sure I'm somewhat on track. I converted their budgeter into my own shared spreadsheet, which is helping me move from one item to another

 

[Chewbacca]

Lol! I would only periodically log in when I knew I had lots of things I could check off!

Ditto, I log in only to make sure I'm somewhat on track. I converted their budgeter into my own shared spreadsheet, which is helping me move from one item to another

Me too!

I've got my own To Do List spreadsheet, I do NOT want to know exactly how many items remain undone, but at a glance I can tell its still over 100, and I'm always adding to it.

Whats actually making me nervous is getting all of my usual end of year jobs done, I don't want my regular life to fall by the wayside!

 

[Mico]

Me too!

I've got my own To Do List spreadsheet, I do NOT want to know exactly how many items remain undone, but at a glance I can tell its still over 100, and I'm always adding to it.

Whats actually making me nervous is getting all of my usual end of year jobs done, I don't want my regular life to fall by the wayside!

I can't wait to see more of your planning! I love your style

 

[recordaras]

What a whirlwind of emotions!
I had signed up for two Brides Across America events (BAA is an organization that gives away free wedding dresses to military brides) and the first one was yesterday. I had an appointment for 12pm, got there at 11:45, but there was a film crew on location, so the whole process took longer than expected and I got out of there only at 5:30pm. I'll be honest, it was very overwhelming. On the bright side, I was one of only 8 lucky brides who got appointments that day, and there was plenty to choose from. On the even brighter side, Heidi Janson, the founder of BAA was there to assist and she is AMAZING.
I went in with two ideas of what I wanted - a slim tulle soft a-line or a lace trumpet. She found several dresses that fit that description, but... I didn't love any of them. Then came other options, and the further along we got, the more I panicked, realizing that I just might be the first bride of the day to walk out without a dress. I honestly had no idea that I would get so emotional over the whole dress thing, but it was pretty darn frustrating.
And then, just as I was about to give up, Heidi brought in a dress that she had showed me in the very beginning and I nixed it, thinking it wasn't what I was looking for. I tried it on, and... it was nothing like either of the two options I had been set on, but I loved it.

I was so flustered by the end of the day that I asked to hold the dress for me as I sleep on it. And today I've finally made up my mind: this is my dress! I wasn't prepared to find something that was so drastically different, and needed some time to adapt to the thought, but in the end I realized that it had everything I want in a wedding dress. Here it is! By the way, it's not clipped in - the size is pretty much a perfect fit and will need minimal alterations.



There's another giveaway at a different salon tomorrow. I was set on going over there to take a look at their options, but now I've come to realize that it will only confuse me even further. I love my dress, my mom loves my dress, and even though there's a very, very slim chance that I might find something I'd love even more at tomorrow's event, my energy is better spent elsewhere.

 

[audball]

recordaras!! IT's BEAUTIFUL ON YOU!! Congrats!!!

 

[recordaras]

Thank you audball!!!
I honestly can't believe it was so emotional and so stressful. I'm always second guessing my decisions, and thought I needed to sleep on it and see how I'd like it in the morning. When I saw it in the am, I loved it even more than I had remembered! Oh, and one of the film crew even texted me last night to say that the dress was "jaw-droppingly gorgeous" and I should do away with any doubts if I have them.
I won't lie, I'm still kind of thinking about going to the second event "just in case", but I think the healthiest thing for my sanity would be to check off the dress box and be happy with what I have.

 

[audball]

Dress shopping was stressful and emotional for me too! I'm happy you were able to sleep on it. If you are certain this is your dress and you don't have reservations about the dress itself, I would not recommend going to the other event! Just like with the guy, once you find the one, you stop looking!

 

[recordaras]

Oh audball, I wish I could say I was certain about anything in this life! I think I'm one of those constant doubters. But I also know that I can continue searching for the dress to end all dresses for ages - and in reality it probably doesn't even exist! I had the exact same struggles with venue choice, but after we put down the deposit I instantly calmed down and realized how amazing it is there.
And I don't want it to sound as though I were settling - I LOVE this dress. It's everything I ever wanted and then some. But did I have one of those SYTTD moments with tears and all? No. Is there possibly a dress out there that would give me one of those moments? Perhaps. Do I want to waste nerves, energy and time looking for a needle in a haystack that might not even exist? At this point no. So this is the one!

 

[audball]

Oh audball, I wish I could say I was certain about anything in this life! I think I'm one of those constant doubters. But I also know that I can continue searching for the dress to end all dresses for ages - and in reality it probably doesn't even exist! I had the exact same struggles with venue choice, but after we put down the deposit I instantly calmed down and realized how amazing it is there.
And I don't want it to sound as though I were settling - I LOVE this dress. It's everything I ever wanted and then some. But did I have one of those SYTTD moments with tears and all? No. Is there possibly a dress out there that would give me one of those moments? Perhaps. Do I want to waste nerves, energy and time looking for a needle in a haystack that might not even exist? At this point no. So this is the one!

Hah! I know the feeling. And you're right, I think there are delusions out there about THE DRESS when in reality there are probably a ton of possible THE DRESSES depending on which scenario/venue/etc...you get the picture! You look amazing in that dress.

I'd caution you to only keep looking if you think you'd be okay with getting more confused and likely changing your mind...

 

[TooPatient]

Oh audball, I wish I could say I was certain about anything in this life! I think I'm one of those constant doubters. But I also know that I can continue searching for the dress to end all dresses for ages - and in reality it probably doesn't even exist! I had the exact same struggles with venue choice, but after we put down the deposit I instantly calmed down and realized how amazing it is there.
And I don't want it to sound as though I were settling - I LOVE this dress. It's everything I ever wanted and then some. But did I have one of those SYTTD moments with tears and all? No. Is there possibly a dress out there that would give me one of those moments? Perhaps. Do I want to waste nerves, energy and time looking for a needle in a haystack that might not even exist? At this point no. So this is the one!

It is so beautiful! You are stunning in it!

Don't worry about not having a teary SYTTD moment, I didn't either and really wound up very happy with my dress. If you LOVE the dress now, it will only get better as you have fittings and see it all come together with your hair and makeup!

 

[audball]

It is so beautiful! You are stunning in it!

Don't worry about not having a teary SYTTD moment, I didn't either and really wound up very happy with my dress. If you LOVE the dress now, it will only get better as you have fittings and see it all come together with your hair and makeup!

Ditto. I had no big teary moment. I knew, though, because I was just so excited about it and didn't care if someone didn't like it because I loved it that much. It made me happy and it made me smile.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Recordaras, That dress is stunning and looks like it was made for you! Have you thought about accessories? Sorry... not trying to be overwhelming but you could do anything! Love it!

 

[audball]

It's official. I have the post-wedding blues. I love being married and I adore my husband more and more everyday. But I miss my wedding. My bouquet flowers officially died and had to be tossed (the ones I didn't dry/save) and I was sad. Hubs reminded me we still have getting our pictures back to look forward to, which is true. My photographer said they should be done today or tonight! Can't wait to see them!

 

[antiquesparkler]

I feel like I haven’t been here in a while! Update time!

Well our plans have totally turned upside down… in a good way. We have once again changed our minds. Hopefully for the last time. We are now having a small wedding on a lake resort and including our parents, grandparents, siblings, and 6 friends. There will be about 23 people there total. The plan is to have the ceremony on the beach and then to have dinner at a fabulous restaurant about 20 minutes away. We are renting cabins for everyone to stay in for the weekend. The best part is afterwards, we found a fabulous deal on a cruise so we are honeymooning in the Caribbean. Initially we were all about eloping but the logistics of bringing my five year old with us and inviting my parents but not his was just getting too complicated. Instead, we found a way to include everyone and still take an awesome vacation. We have set a date as September 6th, 2014 and now I have approximately 291 days to figure my stuff out… er… plan this little shindig. Not that I am counting or anything.

I spent the weekend designing our Save the Dates and will get those ordered as soon as I find an officiant. Then this Saturday I have two appointments to try on dresses.

I am feeling totally and completely overwhelmed but I think my plan of attack is going to be trying to figure out things one at a time. I just need to focus on keeping it simple and elegant. Trying to find a checklist….

 

[audball]

Squee! This is wonderful AS! Sounds like the perfect compromise for you and what you're wanting your day to be like. 9/6/14 is nice! You have PLENTY of time to plan this all out. Just tackle one thing at a time and you'll get there!

 

[recordaras]

Thank you, audball, TooPatient and antiquesparkler! I officially made up my mind on Saturday morning, skipped the second giveaway and will be picking it up later this week! The craziest thing is the more I look at it, the more I like it, even though it is *nothing* like I was expecting to leave with. I mean, here are my inspiration pictures that I brought to the salon:


One's a tulle soft a-line, and one's a lace trumpet with cap sleeves and a boatneck... and I left with a drop-waist taffeta fit-n-flare! The owner of the salon is truly a miracle worker. Oh, and that sample isn't clipped in or adjusted in any way! So the alterations should be pretty minimal.

Antiquesparkler, as for accessories, I've actually been obsessing about that all weekend! I'm going to try on some sashes and veils when I go pick up the dress. I also LOVE big chandelier earrings, something like this:


And I'm thinking of not doing a necklace at all (since that would mean having to "tone down" the earrings), but my mom's a little upset as she wanted me to wear her lovely diamond and aquamarine necklace, so I'll try it both ways and see.

By the way, our date is August 2014, so we are so close! And we're also having about 20-25 guests, so I think our planning might overlap quite a bit - it will be great to have some advice and support from somebody going through the same ordeal.
And as for checklist, I'm a huge fan of this one: http://www.russellandhazel.com/PDF/WeddingTemplate.pdf as it's pretty detailed. The only thing I don't agree with is their dress buying recommendations - I think they say you should put the order in 6 months in advance, but if you're ordering a new one I'd probably give some more time and do 8-9 months in advance.

Please don't panic! I'd start with the super important stuff (book venues, book cabins, try on dresses) and then move on to the fun things like photographers and florists and cakes.

 

[recordaras]

It's official. I have the post-wedding blues. I love being married and I adore my husband more and more everyday. But I miss my wedding. My bouquet flowers officially died and had to be tossed (the ones I didn't dry/save) and I was sad. Hubs reminded me we still have getting our pictures back to look forward to, which is true. My photographer said they should be done today or tonight! Can't wait to see them!

Awww, I know the feeling... I'm sure the pictures will bring it all back! And best of all, you'll have those to enjoy forever.
Did your photographer give you an estimated date when you'll have the photos?

 

[audball]

Awww, I know the feeling... I'm sure the pictures will bring it all back! And best of all, you'll have those to enjoy forever.
Did your photographer give you an estimated date when you'll have the photos?

Thanks recordaras. I'm DYING to see our pictures! I'm sure we will spend lots of time going through them and remembering everything. And then choosing things to have printed for a photo collage, photo books, etc. Our photographer (prior to the wedding) said the amount of shooting we had (~4 hours) is usually done in 2-3 weeks. He messaged me on Facebook today to say he was finishing up. Wednesday will be three weeks since the day so he was pretty bang on! It sounds like we'll have them by tonight or tomorrow at the latest. I can't wait!

I'm also having dinner with a friend from college tonight that I haven't seen in over a year (even though we've kept in touch). Looking forward to that, too!

 

[audball]

Recordaras - Your dress really is different from your inspiration! I think that's not an uncommon experience, though, and regardless of what you thought you wanted, you found something you loved and look FANTASTIC in!

I love those chandelier earrings! I thought about doing some for a long time before deciding to wear my great grandmother's diamond studs as my something borrowed. I adore the look of statement earrings, especially if you'll be wearing your hair up and skipping a necklace is definitely fine with big earrings!

 

[recordaras]

Audball, it is going to be SO much fun! And I'm sure you'll actually see certain things that you didn't notice that day. It's the magic of photography.

And thank you so much for the dress support! I love it more and more, and can't wait to pick it up and play around with accessories. I am definitely going to be wearing my hair up (I have more than enough bad hair days when it all goes limp and/or crazy frizzy), so I'm definitely leaning towards just the earrings! But we'll see what looks best.

Another thing I'm trying to decide is color palette for the flowers. I was initially going to go with something very romantic in ivory-pastel-green notes, but now this dress might require something a bit bolder! Ha, I actually went to Michaels yesterday to bunch together some fake flowers and see what I liked.

 

[audball]

Thanks! I'm SO SO looking forward to getting them back. I'm sure there will be shots of us we don't even remember having taken!

Your dress is amazing. Don't doubt it. I can't wait to see how all of your things come together!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Thank you, audball, TooPatient and antiquesparkler! I officially made up my mind on Saturday morning, skipped the second giveaway and will be picking it up later this week! The craziest thing is the more I look at it, the more I like it, even though it is *nothing* like I was expecting to leave with. I mean, here are my inspiration pictures that I brought to the salon:


One's a tulle soft a-line, and one's a lace trumpet with cap sleeves and a boatneck... and I left with a drop-waist taffeta fit-n-flare! The owner of the salon is truly a miracle worker. Oh, and that sample isn't clipped in or adjusted in any way! So the alterations should be pretty minimal.

Antiquesparkler, as for accessories, I've actually been obsessing about that all weekend! I'm going to try on some sashes and veils when I go pick up the dress. I also LOVE big chandelier earrings, something like this:


And I'm thinking of not doing a necklace at all (since that would mean having to "tone down" the earrings), but my mom's a little upset as she wanted me to wear her lovely diamond and aquamarine necklace, so I'll try it both ways and see.

By the way, our date is August 2014, so we are so close! And we're also having about 20-25 guests, so I think our planning might overlap quite a bit - it will be great to have some advice and support from somebody going through the same ordeal.
And as for checklist, I'm a huge fan of this one: http://www.russellandhazel.com/PDF/WeddingTemplate.pdf as it's pretty detailed. The only thing I don't agree with is their dress buying recommendations - I think they say you should put the order in 6 months in advance, but if you're ordering a new one I'd probably give some more time and do 8-9 months in advance.

Please don't panic! I'd start with the super important stuff (book venues, book cabins, try on dresses) and then move on to the fun things like photographers and florists and cakes.

I love the earrings! A beautiful bracelet would be amazing as well. I was thinking sash when I saw your pics. I have been sash hunting a little because the dress I love comes with a not-so-great sash. I found lots of gorgeous appliques (sp?) on Etsy that are fairly reasonable and then you just have to attach them to ribbon. Soooo pretty! I would love to be planning buddies! I am printing the checklist as I type. I definitley need to get the dress hunt started. There are a few I've narrowed it to but, like you, I am never really sure. If I can take pics at the appointments on Saturday, I will post them and get your opinions. I have two pairs of earrings that I love that I have purchased over the last couple years and a hair clip that was my grandmothers that I would like to wear or attach to my bouquet somehow. So now I just need the dress....Ahhhh!

What are your wedding colors? (Sorry if you mentioned it already above..)

 

[antiquesparkler]

It's official. I have the post-wedding blues. I love being married and I adore my husband more and more everyday. But I miss my wedding. My bouquet flowers officially died and had to be tossed (the ones I didn't dry/save) and I was sad. Hubs reminded me we still have getting our pictures back to look forward to, which is true. My photographer said they should be done today or tonight! Can't wait to see them!

Don't be sad Aud! You can help plan my wedding!

I know what you mean though.

So excited for you to get your pictures and relive the day again and again!

 

[recordaras]

I actually tried it on with a floral sash (with flowers to the side) and really liked that look, but I unfortunately didn't get a picture. And isn't Etsy awesome?? I have a whole collection of earrings saved on there, so when the time comes it should be a little easier to choose. Although who am I kidding? Choice is never easy!

Would you mind sharing your dresses? I know that pictures really helped me personally! I mean, taking pictures of myself at the salon. For example, before I got my dress my favorite was the Allure 9000 - a lace trumpet with a boatneck top. It literally gave me the chills when I tried it on! But it was nowhere near my "if I can't get a BAA dress" budget. So I obsessed for a couple of days, and then let it go. Once the emotions wore off I revisited the pictures and... was left a little underwhelmed. It's a beautiful dress, but it didn't really wow me.
And it was the exact opposite with my actual dress - all I could see was layers of crinoline as I was trying it on (and I was super against that), but after I slept on it and revisited the pictures I came to realize that it was definitely a wow dress, so much more than the one I had loved in person.
So if you're an indecisive worrier like me sleeping on it and then revisiting can be super helpful. And please, PLEASE don't let the people at the salons pressure you into buying anything before you are truly ready. They will say that you need to order NOW, or you won't have a dress in time for your wedding - just keep in mind that even in the worst case scenario you can always find a sample or preowned gown a couple of months before the wedding!

We haven't really decided on the colors yet. When I was thinking of going the lace trumpet direction I thought it would be muted pastels, but now I'm not sure anymore!
What about you?

Oh, and you know what really helped me get started in this thread? Writing down a list of stuff that has already been done! Turns out I wasn't as far behind as it felt!