Getting taken advantage of for "free" babysitting

[Haven]

I''m glad you were able to cut the ties with Girl Monday''s mom, Girlrocks. Good for you!

I was thinking about you this morning as I walked my pup past all the kiddos waiting for the school bus. I wondered if any of those kids were dropped off with a box of doughnuts at an unsuspecting neighbors house! Knowing my neighbors, I wouldn''t put it past them!

 

[geckodani]

First of all, happy belated birthday!

Secondly, what the hell is WRONG with people?!?!? I am shocked and apalled at how you have been being taken advantage of. Good for you for standing your ground and putting an end to it! People are unbelievable. I was babysitting at 10 years old. She can walk herself to the freaking bus.

 

[luv2sparkle]

Good for you Girlrocks!!!!!! I wish I had been as forthright as you when my kids were younger!!!!!! May they quake when you walk by!!!!

 

[decodelighted]

Good work, Not-to-be-messed-with Mom!!

 

[VRBeauty]

Date: 4/15/2010 8:36:08 PM
Author: luv2sparkle
Good for you Girlrocks!!!!!! I wish I had been as forthright as you when my kids were younger!!!!!! May they quake when you walk by!!!!

LOL! Well done, GR!

 

[vespergirl]

Deleted

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 4/14/2010 7:45:12 PM
Author: iota15
Happy Birthday!

This happened this morning? You need to address this issue tonight.

Do NOT give them the, ''it''s okay in the case of an emergency'' because EVERYTHING WILL BECOME AN EMERGENCY. They''ve obviously become too self-absorbed to see they are impeding on your time and your good graces. They are only thinking of themselves and will continue to.

Now is the time to set down the polite, but firm ground rules. Tell them you simply cannot do this anymore because of X, Y and Z, and this morning made you realize this is unsustainable. Also tell them you also don''t like the fact your children are opening the door while you are in the shower in the morning, and your children know not to do that anymore.

Do NOT give them the ''emergency outlet''. I know you might feel a great urge to say that, when you are in front of them. But try this in your head... before you say it, just pause and count to three. Let the silence fill the room. Let the other parents use this time to apologize. Someone will fill in the empty space. Don''t let it be you because you will be tempted to give them an outlet, which they will DEFINITELY abuse.

If there is an emergency on their part, let them later call to beg.

With routinely drop-off mother, tell her you can only take her daughter for ten minutes on Mondays only, if you want to at all anymore (I wouldn''t). But say, I''m sorry but if there''s an emergency or you need more time, you''ll need to make alternative arrangements. The precious time I have in the morning is mommy and kids time, and I want to preserve that.

Wish them a good night with a smile! (and walk out/hang up).

Ditto this exactly. I offered to walk a neighbors dog in case of emergency once, and stupid PITA called me 10 working days out of 12 to do it! All of a sudden, everything at her job was an emergency, but taking care of my baby was supposed to take a backseat. On the 10th day, I told her that I could no longer walk her dog anymore, unless she wanted to pay me $15 per walk. I never heard from her again.

 

[vespergirl]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:22:52 PM
Author: Girlrocks
To answer a few questions...

1. Where we live, the legal age to be home alone is 8. This child is 10. And has a cell phone. She can surely stay alone for 10 minutes in the morning.

2. I am SURE the donuts are her typical breakfast, she is a little heavy and her mother complains about how she just sits around and watches tv all the time, which is the complete opposite of my kids (hello, turn the tv off mom!)

UPDATE...I take my daughter to practice last night and when I get home there is a message from the mom...''Hi, Girl Monday would like to know if your girls can play...can I bring her over?''....seriously???? I''ve had her every flippin morning this week, my girls don''t even like her, and you want to bring her to MY house? Who calls for their 10 year old anyway for a playdate? My girls call and ask themselves. And if my kids call and ask someone to play, it implies that they are INVITING the child to OUR house, not inviting themselves over.

So now I am furious. 5 minutes later, phone rings again, it''s her. Cross my heart, this is how she starts off the conversation ''Hi, Girl Monday wanted to know if she could come over to play, and by the way, on Monday she didn''t dump the milk out of her tupperware container when she was finished with her cereal that she brought to your house for breakfast, and carried around the milk all day in her backpack and if it spilled it could have really been a mess, so can you please watch her next time and have her dump the milk out and rinse the container?''

Seriously, fire shooting out of my ears.

So I just took a deep breath and told her that no, she could not come over, and that I was not going to be able to watch her any longer in the mornings. Goodbye.

Haven''t heard from her since.

The nerve of that woman! GR, you are awesome. I''m so glad you took care of that. I also forgot to wish you a happy birthday!

 

[bee*]

wow good for you!! I can''t believe the nerve of those people.

 

[missy]

Date: 4/15/2010 1:36:55 PM
Author: Girlrocks
Well, the 2nd and 3rd mom...I have both of their e-mail addresses from our neighborhood directory, so I am going to send them both e-mails stating that I am no longer available for babysitting children in the morning. I am not even going to give them the option of an ''emergency''. My DH and I do not ever rely on any of these people to watch our kids, nor do I ever plan to, so I am going to be short and to the point.

Great job Girlrocks!!
People like this don''t deserve your kindness as they will only take advantage as they have already proven.

 

[violet3]

Date: 4/14/2010 2:30:51 PM
Author: TooPatient
A woodworking store in our area has a great sign with a picture of a child & puppy:

Any child left unattended will be given espresso and a puppy.

the above is pretty hilarious

Seriously though, this kind of behavior from adults is absolutely ridiculous. I would be more than ticked off if I was in this situation

I would ABSOLUTELY say something to the neighbors -- put it as politely as possible, but say something. I wouldn''t worry too much about the drama factor either - as you said, these people aren''t your good friends, they are your neighbors. Just because you are a stay at home mom, doesn''t mean you don''t have your own responsibilities or that you have unlimited time. A gentle reminder that you have a life as well might be in order here. so sorry.

 

[violet3]

Shoot - should have read through this entire thread first! Good for you for standing up for yourself! I CANNOT believe that your neighbor had the nerve to say that about the milk in the container. If that had been me, I think some profanities would have been uttered -- wow.

 

[charbie]

Good for you! People need to understand that you WORK from home, and you aren''t a babysitter.

I think that if she ever does beg for her daughter to come there for an emergency in the morning, you spill milk "accidentally" all over her backpack.

or egg her house.