Giving away the bride...

[sugarjo]

Good topic.
I think it is totally sexist and patriarchal. (Note: I do not have a good relationship with my father. He will be at my wedding, but not an active participant.)
My mother will be escorting me down the isle, not "giving me away".
Also, I will not be taking FI''s name.

 

[sba771]

I am Jewish so the tradition is that both my FI and I will be walked down the aisle by both our parents. (I am on the fence though about my dad- recent divorce, turns out he had an entire second/double life) In a Jewish ceremony nothing is said, they just walk you down and stand under the chuppah with the couple as they get married. I am excited about it- it feels nice that everyone is there and close when we are married.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I'm a traditionalist. I'll do it when the time comes. Although, I'm also thinking about seeing if my Mom would like to walk me down the aisle along with my Dad. Not sure she would go for it though. But I'd like it if I could have them both walk me down......

 

[tabu]

I love my dad so much! I definitely am daddy''s girl so he will walk with me down the aisle. But I don''t see it as him "giving me away" to my FF. It''s just from man to man, my dad is still and always will be my dad and it means a lot for him to be by my side

Oh, and I''m gonna be sobbing during the father-daughter dance

But in a good way I guess. I always cry during those

 

[trillionaire]

Such interesting and diverse opinions! Thanks to everyone who has shared, and hopefully more to come!

 

[CNYHopeful]

I''d like to have my Dad walk me down the aisle. We have grown very close and I have so much respect for him (a 9/11 survivor and he''s always been a great model of sacrifice, loyalty, and fidelity to my mom and family). My Mom is a lovely woman, and I''d like for her and SO''s mom to light the unity candles before the bridesmaids enter. I love the song "O God, You Search Me" where the refrain says:

For you created me and shaped me,
Gave me life within my mother''s womb.
For the wonder of who I am I praise you:
Safe in your hands, all creation is made new.

It will be so beautiful to have the mothers lighting our unity candles to start things off.
Then the bridesmaids will enter one by one, and I''ll walk down the aisle with my Dad while SO seranades me with "Ave Maria" (he has the most gorgeous voice). It''s something that he wants to do and it makes me melt each time I think of it. Unfortunately, I don''t think I''ll make it down there without sobbing, he''s so sweet!

 

[BlueSki231]

Date: 11/24/2008 1:34:54 PM
Author: sugarjo
Good topic.

I think it is totally sexist and patriarchal. (Note: I do not have a good relationship with my father. He will be at my wedding, but not an active participant.)

My mother will be escorting me down the isle, not ''giving me away''.

Also, I will not be taking FI''s name.

Hey, I''m with you on not taking the FI''s name.. I will also not be altering my name in any way. This too may make an interesting topic

I find these very interesting to read as well!
Even though I don''t consider myself a traditional gal, I don''t find these "outdated" traditions to be a reason for me to even consider eloping. They do not deter me from wanting a wedding cause I''m planning on writing out my whole ceremony (me and FF of course).
In fact, I am really looking forward to creating a ceremony from scratch, piecing together something that fits mine and my husband to be''s personalities and beliefs.
No one said you HAD to follow these traditions - make up your own!!

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 11/25/2008 12:54:37 AM
Author: Namaste

Date: 11/24/2008 1:34:54 PM

Author: sugarjo

Good topic.


I think it is totally sexist and patriarchal. (Note: I do not have a good relationship with my father. He will be at my wedding, but not an active participant.)


My mother will be escorting me down the isle, not 'giving me away'.


Also, I will not be taking FI's name.

Hey, I'm with you on not taking the FI's name.. I will also not be altering my name in any way. This too may make an interesting topic

I find these very interesting to read as well!

Even though I don't consider myself a traditional gal, I don't find these 'outdated' traditions to be a reason for me to even consider eloping. They do not deter me from wanting a wedding cause I'm planning on writing out my whole ceremony (me and FF of course).

In fact, I am really looking forward to creating a ceremony from scratch, piecing together something that fits mine and my husband to be's personalities and beliefs.

No one said you HAD to follow these traditions - make up your own!!

Just to clarify, I want to elope just because it is my preference.

I just don't care about a big-to-do wedding, or even a small-to-do wedding. *shrug* But all the 'weird' wedding traditions are all the more reason to elope, IMO, meaning that I won't miss those parts of the ceremony

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 11/23/2008 5:40:23 AM
Author: MishB
My head says ridiculously sexist. However if my father had been at my wedding (he was terminally ill at the time) I would probably have wanted to have him involved in some way, but to say ''who gives this woman to this man?'', no way in hell.

i think it might be too how its said? most weddings i''ve been too (though not that many) all said "her mother and I do". I know that is how i will ask my officiant to say it.

 

[jcarlylew82]

Date: 11/24/2008 10:09:01 AM
Author: Pandora II
My father walked me down the aisle (poor man was more nervous than I was) - he wore the same morning suit that he wore when he married my mother (37 years ago) and that my grandfather wore when he married my grandmother (70 years ago).

However he didn''t ''give me away'' - at 35 I thought it seemed a little ridiculous! Instead, all the parents had a part in the ceremony. I''ve copied it below:


Registrar:

Will the parents of Pandora and Pandora''s FI please stand?


This union brings together different family traditions in the hope that a new family tree will become strong and fruitful. Theirs is a personal choice and a decision for which they are responsible, yet their life will be enriched by the support of their families. Therefore I have these questions for you.


Do you welcome Pandora and Pandora''s FI, as members of your families?


Do you affirm your continuing support and love to Helen and Andrew as they grow in their marriage?


Do you offer to them the best of your care and counsel in their times of struggle, and your celebration with them in their times of joy?


Parents:

We do

Pandora, i love that!! i am soooo saving that for my "wedding ideas" folder!