Guy "in waiting"

[allycat0303]

Arg&stuff,

I''ve been following your thread on RockyTalky, I even told my sister about it because I thought the whole tulip setting idea was really, really sweet. In any case...my favorite one is the niwaka setting.

In any case, you really have to show your girl all the work you did by letting her read some of these posts! She''ll feel very loved! It''s funny but I said to my boy "Why didn''t you pick out my ring for me

" Although I''m notriously picky, and he would have been safer playing russian roulette, I kinda wish I wasn''t

.

Keep us updated, I love the story, it''s SO romantic!

Kaliegh: I''m going to go read your bio! From time to time, I like to read up on the members, see where they''ve come from, but I didn''t realize you had a thread in who''s who. How fun is that? I just know you have a massive Tiffany ring

. Off to snoop mystery lady

 

[argh&stuff]

Actually, Sunkist, last night I had a moment of paranoia from using this forum. I started off being as "generic" as I could in describing our situation, and my desire to get her just the perfect thing, given the money I can put into it. So, I referred to her only as "my girl." I was thinking, "yeah, even if she finds this, I''ll be safe."

Then when I got to poking around a bit more, I found the "in waiting" area and I liked reading up on how girls experience the time before an official pledge to marry is made. And I do not mean to be rude or mean, but I thought, "geesh, I hope they know it''s hard for a man to have to wait until he has the money to do what he wants to do, too." So here I am, a guy in waiting.

The thing is, if she found this, she''d have to know it was me talking. But, well, she mentioned the tulip setting to me the other day herself, so I guess it wouldn''t be that big of a deal. I just want to make sure there is some element of surprise involved.

I will definitely have to save and print this thread, because I will need it to show how sweet and wonderful I am when I have moments of lacking a little in that area. I am an average guy, and there are times when I''m not nearly as considerate and attentive as I could and should be. She''s an EXTREMELY emotional woman, and while that can be rough on me at times, it''s also the part of her that creates the sweetest heart and caring ways I''ve ever seen. However, sometimes I just have a hard time seeing things from her perspective. Example: a few weeks ago, she called me completely in tears, sobbing, hard to understand what she was saying, the whole bit. I got irritated because I wanted to know how to "fix" things, not to just listen to the story and try to make out the words between the gasps of air. Needless to say, she got upset, and then shut down. There is nothing she does that is harder on me than when she shuts down. I''d rather her rant at me than shut down. (Not that she rants often, she''s sweet more times than not.) Anyway, the episode ended with me calling her back, and patiently waiting to hear her story, and then we prayed, and I reminded her that sometimes I don''t see things as seriously as she does, but that I will try to support her through anything. *I just hate when people say careless things in the workplace. You have to go back the next day, you know. People should think about that.*

Moving on, the setting I like the most and think looks most like my girl''s style is the Niwaka setting. She''s not tiny, but her fingers are long and thin, and she likes settings that sit a bit lowerr than the average. I can''t afford that particular setting, so if I find a jewelist who can do it, sweet. If, however, I can''t, there is a setting she already likes that is cathedral based and I talked to the jewelist lady about it the other day, and she said there is enough room to drop a tulip head in it. So, one way or the other, my girl will have a tulip ring.

 

[argh&stuff]

Yeah, where''s the who''s who section? I''m wondering more and more about my new friends who helped (and I pray will continue helping) me find some awesome ideas for my girl.

 

[allycat0303]

Argh: The nikawa setting (I think I''m spelling it differently every time) is beautiful. I have a low setting too, and I like it because it doesn''t get caught on anything. I tend to think nikawa''s settings are really overpriced, and I think it would be reletively easy to design something similar. I don''t know if your buying you stone online, but my boy was REALLY skeptical about it too, but when we got the price comparisions, he was BLOWN away. My boy is so proud that he bought me something so sparkly, and it''s the #1 comment I get on my ring. We went with Whiteflash and a Leon Mege, and I can tell you that all of our ENDLESS worries were for nothing. The diamond from WF is the sparkliest diamond we have ever seen. Period.

In any case, are you going to share your proposal plans? We all like a little romance here, and there''s nothing more sweet then an engagement

 

[anchor31]

You''re story is so sweet... It''s so refreshing to see a guy''s point of view on things!! Thanks for sharing.

There are some kinds of games I like, so it''d be nice of we could get a game or two that I''ll like playing with him. Then I''d probably wouldn''t dislike gaming so much...

Thanks for the idea!

I second the request for your proposal plans! We''d like to know, and maybe we can help you perfect it?

 

[caligal]

Wow you are such a sweet guy! I second Anchor''s motion... we are happy to help with any proposal ideas!

 

[Caribou]

Date: 3/1/2006 9:02:02 PM
Author: argh&stuff
We''re in our mid-late 20''s (I''ll be 29 in May; she turned 26 in November), and we seem to be outside of the norm with relation to our co-workers.

My FI and I are 26 and 33, respectfully... I feel bad listening to my friends who b*tch about their SO and I have really nothing to complain about. So I feel the same as far as being out of the norm (although I know you were talking about living together). Our age difference was a problem for me in the beginning but he''s got his head on his shoulders more than anyone guy I dated that was older. Anywho, we don''t live together and won''t live together until we are married either...it''s hard sometimes but I know it''s the best thing for us.

Good luck to you, when are you asking her? You''ll have to give us details she''s a lucky girl.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/2/2006 8:00:45 AM
Author: argh&stuff
Yeah, where''s the who''s who section? I''m wondering more and more about my new friends who helped (and I pray will continue helping) me find some awesome ideas for my girl.

There is an introduce yourself thread in the LIW forum. I''ve seen a couple other "who''s who" type threads, maybe in hangout forum. This is a very different board than others on the internet. People are very friendly and helpful! You can''t help but think of them as your friends in at least some small way!

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/2/2006 7:59:17 AM
Author: argh&stuff
She''s an EXTREMELY emotional woman, and while that can be rough on me at times, it''s also the part of her that creates the sweetest heart and caring ways I''ve ever seen. However, sometimes I just have a hard time seeing things from her perspective. Example: a few weeks ago, she called me completely in tears, sobbing, hard to understand what she was saying, the whole bit. I got irritated because I wanted to know how to ''fix'' things, not to just listen to the story and try to make out the words between the gasps of air. Needless to say, she got upset, and then shut down. There is nothing she does that is harder on me than when she shuts down. I''d rather her rant at me than shut down. (Not that she rants often, she''s sweet more times than not.) Anyway, the episode ended with me calling her back, and patiently waiting to hear her story, and then we prayed, and I reminded her that sometimes I don''t see things as seriously as she does, but that I will try to support her through anything. *I just hate when people say careless things in the workplace. You have to go back the next day, you know. People should think about that.*

This is totally me as well, Argh! I know it''s hard on my BF. I know you aren''t near you girl so this may not be possible for you right now, but when I feel like this all I really want is for him to put his arms around me and hold me for a few minutes, kiss me and tell me everything will be alright, and gently ask questions about what''s wrong until I can find the words to say what it is! Now this is what me as a girl wants, and guys are different in nature, so I know he doesn''t always have the patience for it. But when he does I really appreciate it! The biggest thing is just reminding her you love her. That always makes me feel better no matter what the situation

 

[argh&stuff]

Wow, you are all so kind to me. I''m just a normal guy, I swear.

Caribou, what is a SO?

I''ve been trying hard to figure out the slang, but yeah, SO has me completely baffled.

Also, what is a B&M? I see it posted all the time in "rocky talky," and I have yet to distinguish just what sort of store it refers to.

 

[Blenheim]

SO - significant other
B&M - Brick and Mortar (a physical store, rather than a website)

It took me a while to pick up this stuff too.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/2/2006 5:54:59 PM
Author: argh&stuff
Wow, you are all so kind to me. I'm just a normal guy, I swear.


Caribou, what is a SO?


I've been trying hard to figure out the slang, but yeah, SO has me completely baffled.


Also, what is a B&M? I see it posted all the time in 'rocky talky,' and I have yet to distinguish just what sort of store it refers to.

SO= significant other
B&M= brick and mortar (as in a local shop, not on the internet)

hehe, when I first came on here I could not figure out "e-ring"!!

I thought it meant you were buying your ring over the internet, something like "e-mail"?? I don't know how long it took me to figure out 'engagement ring'!

--ETA: Oh! I see you got it first Blenheim!

 

[argh&stuff]

Hmm... I honestly don''t know just yet how I''ll go about asking the most important, poignant question of my life.

I do have ideas, though.

Neither of us are "fancy," and as I''ve mentioned before, she''s super frugal, so we don''t eat out at fancy places either. For us, Applebee''s is "NICE." (I wouldn''t mind doing the fancy thing time to time, but it''s hard enough to get her to concede to paying $10 dollars each for a meal we could make for less than $5.) So, the whole going out to a nice dinner thing is a big NO.

I like the more creative venue, anyway. It''s more of what "gets" her, if you know what I mean. (Side note, I''m a map nut. I was a major in city planning as an undergrad, so I guess it stems from that. Anyway, I spend a lot of time studying maps, populations, skylines and the like. So, for her birthday, I made her a map of the United States, covering all the places we''d traveled in the length of our relationship. We''re both road trip nuts, by the way. My point is, she LOVED it. I got her a nice three piece set of Jewelry, too... ring, necklace, and earrings in her favorite stone, but the map titled "our trips, 2005" was her favorite by far.) So, I think something that I take time on and make "special" will mean the most to her.

Her favorite places are the beach (she''s originally from Cali and misses being close to the beach so much, so we take trips there fairly often, and are planning on going to Florida while I''m on Spring Break from teaching), the aquarium, and this paint your own pottery shop around my house. So, originally, I thought I''d ask her at the aquarium, in front of the "Movie screen of fish," as she calls it. Have any of you been to the new Georgia Aquarium? It''s awesome and we have season passes and go frequently. It''s breathtaking, and we both share a love for nature, and she especially, for water. So, there is one HUGE glass wall that displays the most beautiful coral and tropical fish. She can watch the fish there for hours (I know, she has), and I thought it''d be a nice "backdrop" for our special moment.

However, I also think that is a little "public" for my liking, as I''m not much for pledging my love in front of fellow fish loving on-lookers.

Next idea involves the beach, in early-mid spring, when it shouldn''t be too crowded. Walking along the sand, hand in hand, letting the waves splash at our feet. She is so at peace at the beach, and has often referred to it as magical. I think it would be something she''d never forget if I asked her there.

I think the paint your own pottery thing is a little hokey, and I''m pretty sure that won''t be my plan. The beach, if I have the money saved for the ring, and have made the purchase prior to our trip, will be my plan, I''m thinking.

If not, I may just make a day trip with her to Tybee Island with her the closest weekend to when I have the ring in hand.

Nothing HUGE or really fancy, but she''d know something was up if I did that. And I think the simplicity will be special to her in itself.

BUT, I''m not a girl, and I''ve not dreamed of the day for all my life, as I''ve been told many girls do. Do you all think I need to do more, make it more "special?"

My original plan included a bundle of tulips for her, but if she has a tulip ring, I don''t know if that''s needed.

 

[argh&stuff]

Huh, I never would have gotten brick and mortar from B&M.

(I also thought e-ring was short for internet ring. I kept thinking, "gah, everyone bought their rings online? how crazy are they?? This was when I was a bigger sceptic that I am now. But, I still am, though...)

 

[Blenheim]

I love the beach idea.

If you''re worried about making it more "special," I''d check out the have a simple proposal at home? thread in Proposal ideas. It seems like what matters most is making it really thoughtful, maybe at a place that''s special to both of you. And I know that for me, personally, what he says will be pretty important.

 

[argh&stuff]

This is something else I''ve thought of, but not too indepth...

My girl''s always telling me that I''m too hard on the kids I teach, and that I need to incorporate more games and activities into their learning experience (I personally think this is exactly what has "dumbed up kids" to the point of them not being able to read or function upon high school graduation). Anyway, I was thinking of creating some game, maybe similar to family fued or jeopardy, maybe wheel of fortune, and having the end result be something like her revealing hints to what I want to ask.

I think the beach would be more special to her, but I''ve also read about girls liking to see a supreme amount of effort put into doing it as unlike anyone else as possible...

Hey, I''m a guy... all I know is that I can''t wait to ask. How I do that, well, of that I''m not yet sure.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/2/2006 6:16:45 PM
Author: argh&stuff


(I also thought e-ring was short for internet ring. I kept thinking, ''gah, everyone bought their rings online? how crazy are they?? This was when I was a bigger sceptic that I am now. But, I still am, though...)

I was a skeptic until I found PS. We still haven''t bought a ring, but we''ll be doing it online, hopefully a custom design! With all the information you can learn here, and all the information these online companies give you about the diamonds, I feel more secure with the online companies here on PS than I would with a mall jewelry store, or any other B&M jewelry store. And you can always get the diamond, look at it, and send it back with no hassle!

About your proposal ideas, I think simple is better, personally. It should definitely be special though!! Special and simple

Is there a pretty place outside the aquarium you could walk around and be more alone than inside the aquarium? If not the beach idea sounds awesome! That''s one of my dream proposals

And , Argh, are you still in city planning? I''m doing my masters now in urban planning! I''m allllmost done

 

[argh&stuff]

Thanks for the link, Blen.

Oh, I know what I''m going to say. I pray to my Father above all the time, telling Him just what a joy, blessing, friend, and treasure she is. Coming up with the right words will be a matter of simply saying what I tell her all the time, she is my very most specialist gift from God. And I entend to treat her as such, daily. Forever.

 

[sunkist]

Date: 3/2/2006 6:32:43 PM
Author: argh&stuff
I think the beach would be more special to her, but I've also read about girls liking to see a supreme amount of effort put into doing it as unlike anyone else as possible...


Hey, I'm a guy... all I know is that I can't wait to ask. How I do that, well, of that I'm not yet sure.

Some girls want the effort put into it, some want the feeling put into it... Which is your girl?

eta: hmmm, not that each one is exclusive of the other... I hope you understand what I mean!

 

[argh&stuff]

Sunkist,

My program was actually titled "Urban development and City planning." I was offered a job in Birmingham upon graduation, but never felt the "pull" to take that position and move.

So, after a few years of trying to get "in" in Atlanta, I kind of threw up my hands and started looking for other things. I fell into substitute teaching (and I''m still not sure how that happened) and took a liking to it, felt it was my calling, and went to get a masters in education. Now I teach social studies and science to little hellions called 6th graders. It''s a challenge, and I really think the patience I learned from the classroom has helped me in working with my girl when she has her "I want my way NOW" spells. Patience is a virtue I use often.

Oh, I didn''t tell you all this, but in addition to the xbox I got for Christmas, I also got a handmade quilt with a view of the Midtown area of the Atlanta Skyline. She asked me to take pictures, from my favorite angle, and send it to her. That was in July. I had no idea at the time, but she worked on it for almost 5 months. A lot of my guy friends think it''s silly, but it''s by far the best present I''ve ever gotten. I sleep with it every night, and sometimes even drag it from the bed to the living room, even though there are other blankets available there. So, even if she tests my patience at times, I think I have a pretty good "deal" in loving her!

 

[argh&stuff]

I''m not sure what you do mean, Sunkist.

Can you spell that out for me, phonetically?

 

[anchor31]

I think the beach at sunset in a beautiful idea for the proposal! Just think about somehing sweet to say and it''s in the bag!

 

[sunkist]

Cool! My program is called Urban and Regional Planning. They''re basically training us to be city planners. But I''m more interested in urban design and behavior. I''d like to work for a private design firm. So you''re teaching 6th graders, huh? I could NOT handle that! Good for you!

Date: 3/2/2006 6:46:17 PM
Author: argh&stuff
I''m not sure what you do mean, Sunkist.


Can you spell that out for me, phonetically?

Ummm, I guess I just hear of some proposals that are huge and extragavent and attract lots of attention - whether that is at the moment of afterwards when you tell everyone the "story". OR there are the proposals that are meaningful to just the two of you and may not sound big and exciting to others when you tell them about it, but when the two of you think about how that moment changed your lives forever it just seems so personal!

Ya?

 

[firebirdgold]

Getting down on one knee in the sand with the sunset illuminating waves stretching out into eternity behind you sounds pretty d@#n romantic to me!!

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 3/1/2006 10:50:35 PM
Author: researcher

Date: 3/1/2006 10:24:41 PM
Author: argh&stuff

(Okay, that wasn''t appropriate to post, and I apologize, but I''m SO ready to be a married man. Especially to such a loving woman. Get this... she HATES video games, and doesn''t like it when I play games with my buddies, because it''s ''so pointless.'' However, she surprised the heck out of me this Christmas with an Xbox of my own! And several games!! Talk about sacrificial love...)

This post cracks me up. I too am anything BUT a game lover. However, my now hubby (married in August) LOVES video games. And despite my not understanding why he loves them, I know they make him happy. So, I not only buy him games now and again but I give him every Tuesday night from 6-midnight to play ''World of Warcraft'' with his friends (no joke, they have the headsets so they can talk ''live'' and everything). He also HAS to play each morning, but always comes back to bed when I wake up (he''s an early riser (4-5AM))

This posts cracks *ME* up too, because I''m also a STAUNCH non-gamer, and I''m married to the ultimate gamer. He plays tons of stuff....in fact, he just began playing a newly released version of Dungeons and Dragons online. My hubby is a TOTAL geek, and just a half-hour ago, hooked up his new headset to he could "talk live" too! TOO FUNNY.

With respect to it being "pointless".......honestly, I don''t think it is. My husband has a very stressful job as a systems administrator, and he tends to be a worrier. He worries all the time about things that can go wrong and potential outages and how that will affect the users at his company and, ultimately, him.
Turning that "worry voice" off at night is a mighty tall task........and that''s what the games help him do. They engage his attention in such a complete way that he honestly doesn''t think about work or worry about things.

I''d also say that there is value is doing anything that one considers enjoyment or entertainment. Not everything has to have a "productive" quality; in fact, one of life''s luxuries is being able to indulge in something strictly for the enjoyment of it. To me, that absolutely raises quality of life.

A last thought, too......I love that gaming gives him a way to self-entertain. I''m a social creature by nature; he''s not. Because he''s content to do his thing and play the games, I can go out with the girls or go shopping completely guilt-free. I don''t have to worry that I''ve been gone too long, or that he''s waiting on me. There are mornings where I''m out the door on a Saturday at 9 a.m. to join my "girlies" for a "mission shopping" day, and I don''t get home until 7 or 8 p.m.! He doesn''t mind one bit......we both have our independence and do the things we enjoy, and then we get together to do things we enjoy together.

There''s a LOT to be said for a husband who knows how to keep himself happily occupied for a while.

 

[argh&stuff]

Haha, I hear you.

My girl and I relax and do "fun" things in different ways. There are times when I shop with her, or do crafts with her, and there are times when she plays games with me. But then, there are also times when she appreciates me having something to do so she can go shopping. (She currently lives in a small town, so small the county doesn''t have a Target... that just breaks her heart!) So, there have been at least three times just sense Christmas when she''s been at my house and has popped out to do some shopping while I play Madden. I''ll have to tell her she just may appreciate the "box" more and more as time goes on....

 

[argh&stuff]

Here I go telling you all I''m a teacher, then I type "sense" instead of "since." My kids would get a kick out of that!

 

[allycat0303]

Beach, sand, flowers (maybe some tulips and daisies...I don''t think it would be overkill more like a theme). Beautiful sunshine ontop. Very, very romantic.

UGH. I want to be proposed to everyday. Just hearing this stuff makes me mushy.

And GRR! Nothing wrong with buying the e-ring online. We never tell anybody that. My boy was scared about wiring thousands of dollars to some unknown place in Texas, but it turned out fine.

 

[Caribou]

Argh, I love both the beach proposal and the aquarium proposal. I''m not into public things either but I think I would be okay with the aquarium thing...is there any time when it''s not so busy there? Maybe if you took her during a time when there weren''t a lot of people there it would make it more intimate.

A little picnic on the beach would be romantic too.

I think I can speak for everyone when I say that we can''t wait to hear how it all ends!

 

[MelissaSue]

what a sweet guy..
but.. just wanted to add.. that FI and I are not living together until our wedding.. and it is ABSOLUTELY the thing I am looking forward to the most. Can''t wait to wake up with him every morning!!