Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offending?

[Lula]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

lula...I agree. I usually try to point out features of the setting that i personally don't like (such as a non-integrated head) and then show an example of a different setting without being too pushy. I try to come off as 'educational' rather than 'this one is better' but it is tough.

I agree, I think a lot of times the guy is just confused or unfamiliar with jewelry terms and styles, and spending time locating photos and asking questions about lifestyle, the way she dresses, other jewelry she owns, etc., does help the lightbulb come on. Hard to tell though, sometimes, whether it's just confusion on the part of the poster or validation-seeking. So I guess it's best to start out in an educational manner and then if they get offended, well, that's their issue. I do hate wasting time searching for photos, typing out long explanations, etc., and then have them say, "but my image of her is XXX and this setting that I've chosen fits my image"! Gaaaahhhhh!

Here's my way of handling it: See my post in this thread: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/please-help-a-guy-me-out-with-your-opinion-on-this-setting.163264/#post-2970090#p2970090']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/please-help-a-guy-me-out-with-your-opinion-on-this-setting.163264/#post-2970090#p2970090[/URL]

And I wrote another post in that thread, too. We'll see what happens...

 

[Lula]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I'm just fairly honest. If I don't like a setting I just say, "well, that's not my style" or "it's very unusual"... and list reasons why I don't care for it. Usually they have too much metal and are too bulky.

But the KEY is that I post other settings I DO like (as many as I can find to link to) that incorporate the details they want, but in a much nicer package. I go straight to: See this one, it's nicer for these reasons and maybe you want to consider something closer to this.

Inevitably someone else will come on, say ditto and pick one of the OTHER settings I've linked to. Once you get a few dittos, the guys start re-thinking their choices.

Unless the eyesore setting was chosen by the lady. We had one recently where the ring looked like a superbowl ring... but she had picked out the setting herself and loved it.

Okay, Gypsy, you owe me another glass of wine because I just snorted my last sip of wine all over my computer. The superbowl description is too funny, but so true. But I do think this guy's fiancee-to-be will love this ring because indeed it was her dream ring and he went out of his way to get it for her -- what a great guy.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I'm just fairly honest. If I don't like a setting I just say, "well, that's not my style" or "it's very unusual"... and list reasons why I don't care for it. Usually they have too much metal and are too bulky.

But the KEY is that I post other settings I DO like (as many as I can find to link to) that incorporate the details they want, but in a much nicer package. I go straight to: See this one, it's nicer for these reasons and maybe you want to consider something closer to this.

Inevitably someone else will come on, say ditto and pick one of the OTHER settings I've linked to. Once you get a few dittos, the guys start re-thinking their choices.

Unless the eyesore setting was chosen by the lady. We had one recently where the ring looked like a superbowl ring... but she had picked out the setting herself and loved it.

Okay, Gypsy, you owe me another glass of wine because I just snorted my last sip of wine all over my computer. The superbowl description is too funny, but so true. But I do think this guy's fiancee-to-be will love this ring because indeed it was her dream ring and he went out of his way to get it for her -- what a great guy.

There have been a few superbowl rings. Usually I am successful in talking the guys out of them. But in this case I was like um... she PICKED that setting. Really? Well, okay then. You are a good man. Still an ugly ring. But you are a good guy.

*Pours Lula a glass of wine and slides it over*

 

[Lula]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Honestly, I just cringe sometimes when I see some of the designs they choose.

Is it rude to just come out and say, dude that's bu** ugly? Friends don't let friends buy ugly settings? I try to be polite, but maybe it's better to just be more direct...

i've never comment on settings,cuz there're no wrong type of setting. i like the simple and cheap settings.i'd prefer to spent most of my budget towards the stone.

Yeah, if all the guys were as easy as you, DF, our work on RT would be a lot easier

Seriously, I do think it helps the poster to hear that other guys have been in the same dilemma and there's nothing wrong with proposing with a temp setting if there are budget constraints or if the guy is unsure about the type of setting his gf would like.

i agree. IMO...the guy shouldn't try to be a hero and guess on the style she prefers.imagine spending $5k on a custom setting that she hates,then what??..

Yeah, it does seem like they want to be a hero, and somehow purchasing a ring with no input from the wearer is part of the hero-syndrome. I feel like if I understand the way these guys think, I might be able to be more helpful in these situations. Because if the guy is here asking for help, that's at least a first step, right? Even if he is a little prickly when we question his judgement.

I remember another thread (about surprise proposals?) where someone commented that a lot of women feed into this by expecting their finances to somehow read their minds about what they want as a ring, and if the guy doesn't get it right (without their help or input) it somehow means he doesn't love her enough? So there are two sides to this maybe. I had a friend in college who was always upset with her boyfriend because he never bought her the birthday present she really wanted. I asked her why she just didn't tell him what she wanted, and she said if he can't figure it out on his own it meant he didn't really love her because he didn't know enough about her to know what she would really want for a present -- or something like that. I have to admit I stopped listening because of my overwhelming feelings of incredulousness. That seems really unfair to the guy, imho.

 

[that_someone_special]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I was just thinking about this with a ring that was posted not that long ago...

I didn't bother commenting on the thread because I just kept going back to those pictures and

I also don't understand why guys are so headstrong about a setting. They come on here, ask for advice and then 15 women say "No that ring isn't right for her job" or something like that and they tend to argue their side so you'll "see their point". Listen, I don't care if they have a huge ring or small ring, but common sense goes a long way. Some of those guys I wonder why they even bother asking what others think if they are going to do it anyways. It's like they just want an ego rubbed that they did the right thing.. I dunno.

 

[Lula]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I'm just fairly honest. If I don't like a setting I just say, "well, that's not my style" or "it's very unusual"... and list reasons why I don't care for it. Usually they have too much metal and are too bulky.

But the KEY is that I post other settings I DO like (as many as I can find to link to) that incorporate the details they want, but in a much nicer package. I go straight to: See this one, it's nicer for these reasons and maybe you want to consider something closer to this.

Inevitably someone else will come on, say ditto and pick one of the OTHER settings I've linked to. Once you get a few dittos, the guys start re-thinking their choices.

Unless the eyesore setting was chosen by the lady. We had one recently where the ring looked like a superbowl ring... but she had picked out the setting herself and loved it.

Okay, Gypsy, you owe me another glass of wine because I just snorted my last sip of wine all over my computer. The superbowl description is too funny, but so true. But I do think this guy's fiancee-to-be will love this ring because indeed it was her dream ring and he went out of his way to get it for her -- what a great guy.

There have been a few superbowl rings. Usually I am successful in talking the guys out of them. But in this case I was like um... she PICKED that setting. Really? Well, okay then. You are a good man. Still an ugly ring. But you are a good guy.

*Pours Lula a glass of wine and slides it over*

Thanks for the refill, Gypsy. I have to say, your track record with this is amazing -- remember the guy who got that great vintage ring from ebay on your suggestion? Whenever I open one of these setting threads, I always hope you show up to help, because they are so often like a train wreck -- I can't really help much, but I can't turn my eyes away either. But it is true, after a lot of back and forth, most guys do come around and lose the Hero Syndrome (DF's term).

But yeah, that last superbowl ring -- it was hard to believe she picked it. Perhaps some sort of Kardashian effect there.

 

[Lula]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I don't think most women are as picky as the average PS'er. I wish my DH would have surprised me with an engagement ring, that would have been so romantic. But being the people we were and still are, we discussed it and picked it out together, and I even listened (and still do!) to what his tastes were too. I think most posters here are told to have a return policy or find out what their GF likes at least. I also remember some who got advice against settings that were too "masculine". They do get gently led in other directions, but it's up to them in the end.

This is so true, lyra. And I know I have to remember this when I am giving advice on RT. And the other thing is that many women put the romance of a surprise (I don't think surprise jewelry is romantic, but a lot of women do) over the details of the ring. It's more important for them to experience the ring as a surprise than it is to be involved in the ring selection. So all we can really do in that situation is try to educate the poster on all his options (because most people have no idea what's available and how to get the best quality for the best price) and be happy with the knowledge that we gave the guy more choices than he would have had otherwise, even if he ends up with a ring that wouldn't be our first choice.

About masculine settings -- this is a sticking point with me, because the current trend on PS is for very delicate rings. And they look horrible on me, and I actually prefer settings with more substance and/or settings with wider bands. But again, I think we really have to quiz the poster about whether the choice of a more "masculine" setting is his alone or if his fiancee-to-be likes bolder and more modern jewelry. Some women do, but, yes, on PS they seem to be in the minority. There seems to be a lot more variety over in colored stones than on RT. I often wonder if women are really much more conservative in engagement/wedding jewelry than they are in their other jewelry. I like a more integrated look myself.

 

[AmeliaG]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

lula...I agree. I usually try to point out features of the setting that i personally don't like (such as a non-integrated head) and then show an example of a different setting without being too pushy. I try to come off as 'educational' rather than 'this one is better' but it is tough.

I agree, I think a lot of times the guy is just confused or unfamiliar with jewelry terms and styles, and spending time locating photos and asking questions about lifestyle, the way she dresses, other jewelry she owns, etc., does help the lightbulb come on. Hard to tell though, sometimes, whether it's just confusion on the part of the poster or validation-seeking. So I guess it's best to start out in an educational manner and then if they get offended, well, that's their issue. I do hate wasting time searching for photos, typing out long explanations, etc., and then have them say, "but my image of her is XXX and this setting that I've chosen fits my image"! Gaaaahhhhh!

Here's my way of handling it: See my post in this thread: [URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/please-help-a-guy-me-out-with-your-opinion-on-this-setting.163264/#post-2970090#p2970090']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/please-help-a-guy-me-out-with-your-opinion-on-this-setting.163264/#post-2970090#p2970090[/URL]

Is this the thread y'all are talking about? I actually like the setting he chose. I don't get a warm and fuzzy about him getting a jeweler to copy Whiteflash's setting. Nothing about copyright infringement but in the hands of a bad jeweler, a poorly made copy of that ring would be a mess. But nobody else seems to mind.

I'd be concerned about him going gung-ho on the Infinity ring when she's established a preference for vintage. Lula, I think you've given him some great detailed advice but at some point, its up to him what to do with it. People do find posts like yours helpful even long after the thread has gone off the front page. Some of the most helpful threads I've found were two or three year old threads that I found when searching for an answer to a question I had.

 

[slg47]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Gypsy...you crack me up I liked your pre-edited post

maybe like 25% less metal??

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Lula... God, I wanted that diamond SO FREAKING BADLY. I was just happy it went to a good home! High color, perfect faceting, loupe clean just at a carat and 5000 bucks. There have been a few train wrecks none of us have been able to avert. And those you just... gotta wonder. You do a good job though hon! I don't know if this guy will listen, but what are you gonna do?

Amelia, he's in Australia and that design isn't unique enough for me to raise a fuss. I've seen that design quite a bit and it's got a peg head to boot. I would raise a fuss if it was a more unique design. But I do agree that someone should tell the guy to research custom gone bad. There are plenty of threads about that. You raised a great point about the posts helping other later on... always something to remember!

slg... hehehe. Gotta have some fun now and again.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Well according to the most recent posts... we may have a breakthrough. Whew.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Oops.

 

[monarch64]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I'm gonna throw a wrench in things.

My fiance chose both my stone and my setting based on the jewelry I wear every day. I think he did a fine job. He's very into diamonds, knew what he was doing when choosing a center stone, and when it came to the setting, he was confident that he "knew what I liked." He really wanted the ring as a whole to be a complete surprise. Do I love it? No. Do I hate it? No. Will I wear it without question until the day I die? Yes, absolutely. Sometimes I have to get away from the PS mindset of gals picking and choosing their stones and settings and just leave it to whomever...and whomever happened to be my soulmate. It worked out very well. Some friends of mind do not care for my setting. I don't LOVE it, but it does complement the stone and that is what my fiance intended. I am constantly complimented on my ring. I love it because he chose it. I love it because he loved it, and he loved me enough to go to the trouble of designing it for me with surprising me in mind. We had a wonderful surprise proposal and I wouldn't trade any of it, the proposal or the ring, for the world.

He also, being into diamonds (and gemstones) has some tricks (or gemstones) up his sleeve, which he's given me full license to set. If ever a day comes when I feel like setting a gorgeous tanzanite, emerald, ruby, sapphire, etc. I have carte blanche. So...I'm not upset at all that he chose my engagement ring and proposed with it without having my input. It's a gorgeous 1.3, E, VS1 oval diamond set in 14k white gold, 4 double prongs, yada yada. Not what I'd have chosen, but PS had me spoiled as far as settings anydamnway. I love it now!

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Monnie your ring is lovely. It reminds me of Ellen's but with an oval and different prongs/head. It's elegant and classic and something you can wear forever. I do get what you mean about being spoiled by the settings on here... but you do have colored stones to spoil with elaborate settings. That's a different case. If a guy wanted to get his lady a set like yours I, personally, wouldn't say anything to talk him out of it.

Not in this particular case (the one on RT currently), but some of the settings we see guys getting on RT are real eyesores. Or just plain impractical.

I don't wear multiple rings. I just don't. They are a waste of money for me. I have my engagement ring and my Aurora band (which I still need to get sized for my right hand). I might, one day, get a sapphire RHR, but that's a long way off. And only if I know I would really I would trade it out with my Aurora band and wear it sometimes.

For a lot of women their engagement ring is pretty much IT in terms of really nice jewelry. So, well... I do try to curb some of the wilder ideas out there, unless the lady has asked for it. Your solitaire isn't on the scale of some of the ideas guys come on and propose. ("She wears a lot of black and black diamonds are much cheaper than white so I thought I would get her a 2 carat black diamond... and I want the setting to look like flames, so ruby pave? She thinks I'm going to get her a boring white solitaire, I can't wait to surprise her!".... um, what does your lady do??? Oh she's an attorney in a big firm in NYC. Oh yeah, a black diamond with ruby flames is the perfect ring for a conservative work environment, you go buddy!")

 

[TristanC]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

These threads always make me wonder a little. And I am constantly pleased that there are a fine few that will step in and throw a wrench into things. The problem with broad generalisations is that they won't allow wriggle room for the rare exceptions. And frankly, every one who is a regular on PS is firmly a rare exception in terms of the jewelry purchasing.

Whether or not one is an expert, matters of taste are still always subjective. But yes, whenever a superbowl ring turns up, without the SO's input, it needs a brave foot forward to say "please no". But I wouldn't get carried away in the other direction either.

To assume the men don't do research into settings, or that they have bad taste as standard is sometimes a mistake. So best not to have too many statements that require backpeddling when someone from the other camp steps forward.

 

[tyty333]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I just read on RT that a guy is susposed to come home from Iraq and go ring shopping with his girlfriend but instead
he is creating the ring and will already have it when he gets home (I hope he has gotten input from her and oh, btw,
I think its a Leon Mege ring). So, he probably thinks its going to be a fun surprise that he already has the ring but in
reality...I'm wondering if the girl is going to be a little let down that her ring shopping (a happy and fun time) has
been blown out of the water.

This situation happened to a friend of mind and she was let down. (She also had no input into the ring he gave her.)

So...how would you feel if this situation happened to you...lets say the ring he presented you with was what you wanted.

 

[lyra]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

What is a "superbowl ring"? I'm not picturing what people mean when they say this. What style would that be?

Gypsy, you are right about the ER being the nicest piece of jewellery most women end up with. That's very true in general I believe. I rarely ever see truly stunning rings or diamonds in the general public I am around. If I see one, I always make a compliment if I'm not intruding. Where I live I think solitaires are most common too.

 

[slg47]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

superbowl ring...think tacky/gaudy/lots of diamonds (like what football players get when they win the superbowl...just google image search superbowl ring)

I think if the girl wants to have a say in what her engagement ring looks like...she needs to speak up!

 

[AmeliaG]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I think if the girl wants to have a say in what her engagement ring looks like...she needs to speak up!

This.

Its almost impossible for us to guess exactly what the woman wants if she's not posting on the forum. All women don't fit the same mold even in the manner that they want the engagement ring/proposal to happen. If the guy is posting, we only have his interpretation and even though we can guess his interpretation is wrong, we can't guess what the woman actually wants.

Some women like ring shopping.
Some women don't.

Some women love surprises.
Some women hate them.

Some women feel uncomfortable asking their BF if they can return a ring.
Others have no problem with it.

Some women have a clear idea of the ring they want and nothing else will do.
Others want the ring to incorporate their SO's tastes and preferences too.

Some women say 'I'm happy with what you give me' and mean 'I want you to read my mind''
Others say 'I'm happy with what you give me' and mean 'Damn, I've been waiting 5 years, don't waste any more time, just do it.'

I may have sounded flippant when I suggested pointing him to a vendor with a good return policy but honestly I think the best response to a guy like that may be help him 'hope for the best; prepare for the worst' as far as the proposal is concerned where hope for the best, is make your best guess on what she will like and at least be informed on good quality diamonds and durability/wearability issues with settings. Prepare for the worst would be prepare yourself that she likes the sentiment and the thought behind it but make sure you assure her that the ring can be returned/exchanged if there is any problem with it (sizing, physcal discomfort, pave diamonds falling out, etc.) some of which neither of you can predict and part of preparing for the worst is buying from a vendor with a good return policy and proposing within the return period.

Lula, I get what you're saying that some guys are going to get offended even at that suggestion but honestly it looks like guys are getting offended anyway and I may be naive but it doesn't seem like such a tough sell to convince them that even if the woman picks out her own ring, there's no guarantee that she's not going to have to return it (just look at all the re-set threads started by members who actively researched and chose their original e-ring), so if he's the only one picking it out with no input from her, there's definitely no guarantee.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

http://www.google.com/search?q=superbowl+ring&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=979&bih= Real Superbowl rings.


Superbowl ring like engagement settings: http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_3353.html?cid=35&src=c or http://www.firenzejewels.com/diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_4062.html?cid=35&src=c or my personal favorite: http://www.firenzejewels.com/christopher-designs-diamond-platinum-engagement-ring-setting_2613.html?cid=35&src=c then there is this one: http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_3347.html?cid=35&src=c and http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring_2562.html?cid=35&src=c

And one I actually have talked someone out of: http://www.firenzejewels.com/mk-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_2355.html?cid=35&src=c Oy.

Wow, lookit this one: http://www.firenzejewels.com/diamond-antique-style-platinum---18k-yellow-gold-engagement-ring-setting_1822.html?cid=35&src=c SURPRIZE HONEY this is what I picked for you. Your a nurse and you work with your hands a lot, so I thought... this is the ring for you!

Look what I got for your size 4 finger! http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_1576.html?cid=35&src=c

Joe Montana called, he wants his ring back: http://www.firenzejewels.com/natalie-k-diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_4443.html?cid=35&src=c

And the ultimate in superbowl fashions: http://www.firenzejewels.com/christopher-designs-diamond-platinum-engagement-ring-setting_2598.html?cid=35&src=c


All of these are perfectly lovely if the lady CHOSES them. Great. But would YOU want to be surprised by these settings out of the blue? And some of them are REALLY expensive.

 

[Aoife]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

http://www.google.com/search?q=superbowl+ring&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-USfficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi&biw=979&bih= Real Superbowl rings.


Superbowl ring like engagement settings: http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_3353.html?cid=35&src=c or http://www.firenzejewels.com/diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_4062.html?cid=35&src=c or my personal favorite: http://www.firenzejewels.com/christopher-designs-diamond-platinum-engagement-ring-setting_2613.html?cid=35&src=c then there is this one: http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_3347.html?cid=35&src=c and http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring_2562.html?cid=35&src=c

And one I actually have talked someone out of: http://www.firenzejewels.com/mk-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_2355.html?cid=35&src=c Oy.

Wow, lookit this one: http://www.firenzejewels.com/diamond-antique-style-platinum---18k-yellow-gold-engagement-ring-setting_1822.html?cid=35&src=c SURPRIZE HONEY this is what I picked for you. Your a nurse and you work with your hands a lot, so I thought... this is the ring for you!

Look what I got for your size 4 finger! http://www.firenzejewels.com/simon-g-diamond-antique-style-18k-two-tone-gold-engagement-ring-setting_1576.html?cid=35&src=c

Joe Montana called, he wants his ring back: http://www.firenzejewels.com/natalie-k-diamond-18k-white-gold-engagement-ring-setting_4443.html?cid=35&src=c

And the ultimate in superbowl fashions: http://www.firenzejewels.com/christopher-designs-diamond-platinum-engagement-ring-setting_2598.html?cid=35&src=c


All of these are perfectly lovely if the lady CHOSES them. Great. But would YOU want to be surprised by these settings out of the blue? And some of them are REALLY expensive.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Yeah. It's eye opening isn't it?

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I just read on RT that a guy is susposed to come home from Iraq and go ring shopping with his girlfriend but instead
he is creating the ring and will already have it when he gets home (I hope he has gotten input from her and oh, btw,
I think its a Leon Mege ring). So, he probably thinks its going to be a fun surprise that he already has the ring but in
reality...I'm wondering if the girl is going to be a little let down that her ring shopping (a happy and fun time) has
been blown out of the water.

This situation happened to a friend of mind and she was let down. (She also had no input into the ring he gave her.)

So...how would you feel if this situation happened to you...lets say the ring he presented you with was what you wanted.

I posted in the thread.

If the ring was EXACTLY WHAT I WANTED? I'd be thrilled, IF he had a fun day planned-- like reservations somewhere and a show afterward. If he makes an event out of it, and I get to spend a magical day with him being engaged, great. Perfect. But if not... I'd be let down too.

 

[jstarfireb]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I think we need to have a sticky thread for "tips for guys choosing engagement rings without their fiancees' input" or something. We could include things like links to cheap temp settings, examples of Super Bowl rings, ideas on how to figure out her ring size, and advice to involve her in the decision, for crying out loud!

 

[slg47]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

if we have a sticky thread...can we include DO NOT give yourself only 48 hrs to buy an engagement ring? I am really surprised at the number of posts that have these really short deadlines. I don't know anyone who would buy a house or a car with such a tight deadline...why an engagement ring?

 

[Bliss]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Gypsy, your post on Superbowl rings = HILARIOUS!!!!

Is it bad that I chuckled over all of them but thought the last one was kind of awesome? LOL

 

[NOYFB]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

I, too, am laughing hysterically at the "superbowl" rings, because that is exactly what I thought about a couple of recent threads. I was like....REALLY???

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

A sticky thread would be great. Maybe we can do a thread on here asking for advice then ask the moderators to move it to RT as a sticky.

I agree about the short deadlines. I don't get it either. I think it your analogy of a house or car is perfect though. If you put it in those terms then it might get through.

As for the superbowl rings... hey, like I said any of them COULD be "it" for the right lady, but NONE of them (including the last one, which I admit I wouldn't be surprised to see on a PSer's finger and it would be fabulously bling-tastic) are rings you surprise someone without context. I mean, sure if she's said she wants presence and size and weight and a whole lotta setting... go for it. But most women I know are thinking Tiffany Solitaire or a Princess three stone.

 

[TristanC]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Hmm, if I were the girl I'd be glad that my man came back from Iraq at all. And if he brought a ring back, hideous or not it would remind me of one of the best reunions that i feared I never would have had.

Of course, I would wish it was nice, not hideous.

I think superbowl rings are hideous. But not everyone likes every ring that is chosen by PSers too. The links Gypsy made aren't from threads where guys chose the rings, they are from one particularly enlightened jeweller who seems to have cornered a niche that exists for particularly large jewelry.

I'm not saying that everyone should do a surprise ring; only a few should. I AM saying that not everyone that knows that is what he wants to do should be faced with a wall of doubt and objection on PS. What if he got it exactly right first time but you made him flinch? What if she actually wanted to be surprised this one time in her life? What if it didn't matter whether or not the setting is perfect because she doesn't obsess about jewelry 24/7?

I don't think the sticky should be all about links to cheap temp settings and examples of bad rings etc. It should start off by asking - "why is it that you think she would love a surprise ring more than one that she designed together with you". Or "Why is it that you want to get her a surprise ring?" Without the follow up statements and/or warnings till you get an answer from the chap in question.

Yes, 48 hours is a ridiculous timeline to set for yourself, even if you are a professional jeweller with a lot of spare time and are about to propose to your bride.

 

[Gypsy]

Re: Guys choosing settings -- how to advise without offendin

Hmm, if I were the girl I'd be glad that my man came back from Iraq at all. And if he brought a ring back, hideous or not it would remind me of one of the best reunions that i feared I never would have had.

Of course, I would wish it was nice, not hideous.

I think superbowl rings are hideous. But not everyone likes every ring that is chosen by PSers too. The links Gypsy made aren't from threads where guys chose the rings, they are from one particularly enlightened jeweller who seems to have cornered a niche that exists for particularly large jewelry.

I'm not saying that everyone should do a surprise ring; only a few should. I AM saying that not everyone that knows that is what he wants to do should be faced with a wall of doubt and objection on PS. What if he got it exactly right first time but you made him flinch? What if she actually wanted to be surprised this one time in her life? What if it didn't matter whether or not the setting is perfect because she doesn't obsess about jewelry 24/7?

I don't think the sticky should be all about links to cheap temp settings and examples of bad rings etc. It should start off by asking - "why is it that you think she would love a surprise ring more than one that she designed together with you". Or "Why is it that you want to get her a surprise ring?" Without the follow up statements and/or warnings till you get an answer from the chap in question.

Yes, 48 hours is a ridiculous timeline to set for yourself, even if you are a professional jeweller with a lot of spare time and are about to propose to your bride.

I think you should stick around and post on RT often Tristan. Your view point is a good one. Stick around. And post more helping other guys around. It's important.

For the record, Firenze actually has quite a few more typical and lovely settings. They just have an eye popping selection of large ones as well.