Have you ever been the object of inappropriate comments by a man?

[Richard Sherwood]

Happens to me all the time.

Men are animals.

 

[Ellen]

Date: 7/24/2007 8:31:40 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
Happens to me all the time.

Men are animals.

Good to see you around Rich!

 

[Harleigh]

Date: 7/24/2007 8:31:40 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
Happens to me all the time.

Men are animals.

LMAO!!!

 

[Linda W]

Richard,

Thanks for the good laugh tonight. LOL LOL.

Linda

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/23/2007 11:24:18 PM
Author: AmberWaves
oh yeah. When I was in high school, I was leaning against a pole waiting for a friend to get out of her class. While i was waiting, a male teacher came by and asked if I work here often. Then asked if he gave me five dollars would I give him change. Not only am I a hooker, but apparently a cheap one? I was so flabbergasted by his statement I couldn''t say anything, I told a fellow teacher later, and I believe it was a strike against him. Another teacher, upon hearing I was a great teacher''s assistant for another teacher, said, ''I heard you''re a good t&a, Amber! Feel like doing it for another class?'' I told him that what he said was disgusting and uncalled for. He kept a wide berth for a while after that. Then again, my nickname amongst classmates and a few teachers was ''knobs''. Yeah, I hated high school.

How awful!

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/24/2007 12:30:03 AM
Author: monarch64
Amberwaves, BLECH! I can''t imagine having to deal with that in an academic atmosphere...good for you for sticking up for yourself.

Harriet, I don''t know about you, but I was raised to always be very polite to people no matter what the situation, and sometimes I have a hard time giving someone an attitude or putting them in their place when they make inappropriate comments, just because I hate to offend anyone. But I''ve learned that some people will take advantage of that, so I''ve had to learn to adapt to different situations and be a bit more blunt when the situation requires doing so. I don''t know you at all, but I''m wondering if you''re worried about appearing rude or being mean to whoever is causing you to post this question here?

When I was single in college I was approached several times by a man who kept wanting to buy me a drink. I declined very politely several times, and told him finally I wasn''t interested. His response was to tell me ''that''s ok, you''re kind of fat anyway.''

I was a size 4 at the time, very tall, and definitely not ''kind of fat.'' Still, it ticked me off...I had been nothing but polite and nice about his advances but the fact that I turned them down made him get downright nasty. My friends and I left right then without further ado.

My parents are confrontation-shy, and that''s how I was raised. I''m usually amiable until I get pushed too far.

 

[Harriet]

Date: 7/24/2007 8:31:40 PM
Author: Richard Sherwood
Happens to me all the time.

Men are animals.

Including you?

 

[monarch64]

Date: 7/24/2007 11:24:17 PM
Author: Harriet

Date: 7/24/2007 12:30:03 AM
Author: monarch64
Amberwaves, BLECH! I can''t imagine having to deal with that in an academic atmosphere...good for you for sticking up for yourself.

Harriet, I don''t know about you, but I was raised to always be very polite to people no matter what the situation, and sometimes I have a hard time giving someone an attitude or putting them in their place when they make inappropriate comments, just because I hate to offend anyone. But I''ve learned that some people will take advantage of that, so I''ve had to learn to adapt to different situations and be a bit more blunt when the situation requires doing so. I don''t know you at all, but I''m wondering if you''re worried about appearing rude or being mean to whoever is causing you to post this question here?

When I was single in college I was approached several times by a man who kept wanting to buy me a drink. I declined very politely several times, and told him finally I wasn''t interested. His response was to tell me ''that''s ok, you''re kind of fat anyway.''

I was a size 4 at the time, very tall, and definitely not ''kind of fat.'' Still, it ticked me off...I had been nothing but polite and nice about his advances but the fact that I turned them down made him get downright nasty. My friends and I left right then without further ado.

My parents are confrontation-shy, and that''s how I was raised. I''m usually amiable until I get pushed too far.

I thought that might be the case...and there is nothing wrong with being non-confrontational, imo. It just seems that no matter how nicely you decline someone''s invitation sometimes, they don''t take it well and either keep provoking you or put you down, at least that is how my experiences have been. I''ve been told by a fair amount of people that I seem "unapproachable" but still I have had unwanted attention from people, and even after I cordially let them off the hook, so to speak, they are full of spite and end up insulting me. Boo! to that!

I think there is a lot of good advice here on this thread, some of which I''m taking. When I first met my DH he said he admired my attitude and spunk and ability to handle myself and be strong in certain situations...but he doesn''t like it if the situation involves him, LOL! So I think I have lost some of that edge I gained from being on my own for a bit post-college and now I''m trying to recover some of that strength if you understand my point. There is definitely a balancing act going on between being too outspoken and too polite, I think.

Nytemist, believe me, it''s not only women who aren''t supermodels who get these crazy comments. I can certainly see you point, though, and that sucks. I also think you''re right in your attitude of cutting them down sufficiently the first time to get your point across so they don''t come back with something worse, or whatever. I''m totally guilty of being too soft on the first offense sometimes and then having to turn into ultra-bi%ch after the second or third attempt, which only makes me feel worse.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think the first TOALLY inappropriate comment I ever received from a grown man (I got them all the time from guys in school) was a direct question about my ahem...personal grooming habits south of the border. I was so shocked I think I blushed and walked away. This was while I was bartending. After that I brushed up on my witty retorts and toughened myself to that sort of attention. Now I don''t even notice when guys check me out or try to subvertly hit on me or flirt with me. TJ, my bf notices it more than I do. Unless the guy says something to me directly, I''m clueless. That being said, a few weeks ago I walked out of my office building and I had some guy look me up and down and start talking to me about how beautiful I was and how happy and proud my husband/bf must be. He had a very heavy accent that was unidentifiable but definietly foreign so I just smiled, said thanks, and walked on. He continued to follow me for a block talking to me but his accent was so heavy that I couldn''t understand him. I wasn''t threatened in any way as TJ was picking me up so it''s not like the guy could follow me home. I also just considered it a cultural difference, like in Italy. Once you''ve had your butt pinched a few times in Italy you get over the comments.