Help resolve and argument with my DH...

[Dreamer_D]

So my husband's brother finally proposed to his long standing LIW!

Once they are married, will she be my sister in law? Or would I refer to her as my husband's sister in law?

 

[elle_chris]

hmm.. I have no idea. But I even refer to my sister-in-law as my husbands sister. Her husband, well I just call him by name.

 

[luckystar112]

I consider DH''s brother''s wife to be my sister-in-law. No idea if it is correct, but what else would you call her? "The chick married to my husband''s brother" just doesn''t sound as nice.

 

[Steel]

Hmm,

So I stand alone. I voted for DH''s SIL.

 

[susimoo]

My husbands brother married last year. I call his wife, Sabrina, my sister in law! She is wonderful!! I often tell my brother in law, that is my husbands brother, I love her so much I couldn''t have picked better myself!!!

She doesn''t speak english and I don''t speak either spanish or arabic. We both have only a few words or phrases in common. However, we can spend many a long afternoon together using the international language of shopping!!!

 

[elle_chris]

Date: 4/18/2010 3:15:30 PM
Author: Steal
Hmm,

So I stand alone. I voted for DH''s SIL.

I think you''re right.

 

[mayerling]

I consider fiance''s sister-in-law to be my sister-in-law too.

 

[Octavia]

To me, "in law" means that you''re related through a legally created family rather than as blood relatives. You and your husband are a legally created family, so you would be an extension of their legal family through your husband''s blood ties. You wouldn''t consider future nieces and nephews to be only related to your husband -- they are related to you, as well, just through law and not blood. Same goes for their mother. I could be wrong, but I guess I''d err on the side of closeness!

 

[Kaleigh]

She will be your sister in law. When they have kids they will be your neices and nephews.

 

[elle_chris]

When I hear it being used, I still assume it''s your siblings spouse, or your spouses sibling.

 

[kama_s]

I would say both. Although, my opinion may be biased - I come from a culture where everyone is related to everyone!

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 4/18/2010 3:35:29 PM
Author: elle_chris
When I hear it being used, I still assume it's your siblings spouse, or your spouses sibling.

Yes, and this is my thought too!

My husband is thinking along the lines of everyone else, darn it, and will be very gloaty to see that other agree with him.

I adore the woman in question, I just think that if we are out and I introduce her to someone and say, "And this is my sister-in-law, Mary" then everyone will assume she is my brother's wife. I would say, "This is my husband's sister-in-law, Mary" and then it would be clear she is the wife of my husban'd brother.

And I also think that their kids will indeed be my nieces and nephews, but it is not the same as if it were my own siblings kids. We just don't have a word in our language to convey the difference in those relationships I guess!

I am an only child, can you tell?

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 4/18/2010 3:12:04 PM
Author: luckystar112
I consider DH''s brother''s wife to be my sister-in-law. No idea if it is correct, but what else would you call her? ''The chick married to my husband''s brother'' just doesn''t sound as nice.

you really wanna know?

 

[CDNinNYC]

Wikipedia uses the term co-sister-in-law to describe "one''s husband''s brother''s wife; or more generally one''s spouse''s sister-in-law, the sister of one spouse in relation to the siblings of the other spouse. The relationship between women who marry brothers."

Wiki Link

I''ve never heard of this term, though, and don''t know how widely it''s used. I would just refer to my husband''s brother''s wife as my SIL.

 

[April20]

Dreamer, why wouldn''t she be both your and your DH''s SIL?

 

[lyra]

I think it''s your husband''s SIL. My husband''s brother is my BIL. My BIL''s wife is my husbands SIL. If that makes sense. The inlaw is the direct relation to your spouse.

 

[iheartscience]

Date: 4/18/2010 4:21:53 PM
Author: lyra
I think it''s your husband''s SIL. My husband''s brother is my BIL. My BIL''s wife is my husbands SIL. If that makes sense. The inlaw is the direct relation to your spouse.

Ditto!

 

[Mrs Mitchell]

Interesting. I don''t think of my husband''s sister''s husband as my BIL. I don''t think of him as a relative at all. He''s just married to DH''s insane sister.I don''t think of her as my SIL, now I think about it. Just DH''s insane sister Maybe it''s more about preference than reality.

 

[yssie]

Interesting responses.


I refer to FI's brother's wife as my future SIL, though technically that's not the case. I like her very much

Perhaps if I wasn't so fond of her, I might have had a different answer?

 

[PumpkinPie]

I call my husband''s brother''s wife my sister-in-law. Just as I would call my brother''s wife (if he were to have one)

 

[Kaleigh]

Ok so when I got married my husband''s sisters became my SIL''s. When my SIL''s got married their husbands became BIL''s. When they had kids, their kids are my neices and nephews. And their kids were first cousins to my kids...

Does that make sense?? Or am I wrong.

 

[MissGotRocks]

She will be your sister in law by marriage - but the abbreviated form is your sister in law.

 

[megumic]

The law technically sees you and your husband as one unit, so as it applies to him it applies to you. Thus, once they marry, you''ll have a familial connection to her through the laws of marriage (twice, really.) But yes, "sister in law" seems the correct term.

 

[jewelz617]

Sister in law. No need to complicate things!

 

[joflier]

I say that she''s your sister in law.

 

[AprilBaby]

She would be your sister in law if she was your husbands sister. As his brothers wife she is HIS sister in law.

 

[Laila619]

Well, she is technically *just* your husband's sister-in-law, but most people probably don't care and would consider her both your SIL and his SIL.

 

[anitabee]

she''s your sister-in-law and your''s hubby''s sis-in-law. that''s how i''ve always seen it and choose it to be!

 

[Kaleigh]

I don''t get why this is an argument?? Your husband''s brother got engaged... His future wife is your husband''s SIL and will be a SIL to you as well.

I shared this with my husband, he was like why is this even a question?? I am with him...


Unless the rules have changed? This is how it''s been for years....

 

[marcy]

I voted and think she''d be your SIL.