How are the top 20 doing?

[janinegirly]

although i''m relatively new, I''ve been backtracking and learning about the stories of some of the more senior ladies on the list (in terms of time on this board, not age!

) and it got me wondering how everyone was doing/how their mindsets were as we head into the holiday season? We''ve heard from blueroses (congrats!) and some others who haven''t been around in awhile. How about the others..everyone who is now part of the top 20? Do you think it''ll happen by yearend and how are you coping with waiting?

 

[Mandarine]

Hi!

Well...a while back I had said that my goal was to get engaged while I was still on the 20s (in terms of spot in the list and age!). I''m 29 and I''m #20 on the list (now that Blue got engaged, yay!)...

So....I am getting a little impatient, but not much....really I''m just getting excited and anxious. I think I''m doing better now in terms of enjoying what today brings!...maybe it''s because I know for sure that it will happen soon and it''s an easy topic to talk about. When I first brought it up to my BF the conversations weren''t as light hearted as they are now.

Now we just joke around. He finally closed on the new house (that we designed together and referred to as "our" house!) so now we''re just working on the final touches there....yesterday we were talking about how expensive crown molding was and I told him that money could be better spent elsewhere (and pointed at my finger) hehe...he laughed too. Then he said he was thinking of "postponing that"...and I was like "postpone WHAT!!?" and he said "The crown molding!"...teaser...hehe.

So I''m doing ok. I haven''t really been waiting for that long. We''ve been together 2 years and 3 months and it''s suppossed to happen this year!. I thought I would get nervous as the end of the year approached and I realized what was about to happen (thinking along the lines of "this is REALLY going to happen, I''m going to be with him forever" and I thought maybe I would start getting nervous), but I''m not at all...I''m just happy and in love

I''m 99.9% sure it will happen by the end of the year. If it doesn''t it will be a huge dissapointment because I talked to him about it once and said I didn''t want him to feel that he had to live up to that conversation we had earlier this year......when we had that initial talk we didn''t realize how many things would happen throughout the year and it really has been a tough year for him (not in relation to me, but with other things). So I said to him, if our timeline had to change I would understand but I would just want him to be open about it so I wouldn''t be dissapointed.....all he said was: "you won''t be dissapointed"....and that was that.

So...will I get off before I move to the #19 spot? who knows! but that''s ok

M~

 

[janinegirly]

wow Mandarine, as an objective observer, i can say all the signs are in place!! (closed on the house, dropped hints, saying you have nothing to worry about regarding a specific deadline, and most importantly, being in a happy and fuzzy&warm spot as a couple). I think you will have a proposal by xmas or on xmas!!! you guys seem so happy and to have a healthy relationship, it''s nice to hear about..and yea, 2yrs isn''t that long. You''ve just been on this list longer than most, but def not one of the longer relationships in terms of waiting years..

 

[snuga]

Hi Janine! I can see you are still pretty new so welcome to PS

!

I am at spot #10 and the word impatient doesn''t really describe how I feel. Although I know it will happen within the next few months, I have already been waiting quite a long time. I am being good though.. not pressuring him or bringing it up everyday (I try at least!). Hopefully I will have some good news sooner rather than later! I know that I definitely don''t want to be on the LIW list anymore, and I can''t wait until I have my own engagement post!

 

[Mandarine]

It''s an exciting time and sometimes we get the nerves get the best of us!...or at least that''s how I felt earlier this year.

I haven''t been waiting long but joined when I needed some advice on how to have that initial talk with him, so I joined the list (probably prematurely, hehe).

Yesterday when I went to the new house the painter asked "oh, is this your wife?" and my BF said "no, she''s my GF",...but I could see he got all smily and looked at me, it was so cute

How are you doing Janine? feeling better?

M~

 

[janinegirly]

doing fine, but i, too, am expecting a proposal by year end. So it''s simultaneously nerve wracking and exciting. It''s kind of fun knowing there''s a short list of people here who are expecting the same thing, so the next 2 months or so should be pretty exciting on this board! My bf unfortunately is not too expressive so doesn''t do the cute looks and winks (like your bf does, so sweet..), so I kind of have to just trust he''s on the ball although sometimes I get stressed and anxious, which I know many on this board can relate to! I joined at the beginning of my "final waiting stage" so while I''m new to the board, I''m an old aging lady in terms of waiting time!

 

[therighttime]

Janine....I''m not in the top 20... so sorry to highjack your thread, but I just read the last post about how a lot of people seem to be expecting a proposal by year''s end. Might be interesting to see how many of us LIW''s that includes. I, for one, was told "in the next couple months" in September so I''m thinking by the end of the year too.

Back to original topic....hope to hear from all those in the top 20. There are some names I don''t even recognize so it''d be great to get an update!

Sparkly vibes to all in the top 20 and beyond!

 

[janinegirly]

hi right time! i guess i''m looking for updates from the "top 20" and from anyone who expects a proposal by yearend! That way we can keep this thread going over the next 2 mo''s, and see how everyone''s doing. Or offer each other support as we anxiously await this final phase (hopefully). Meaning the more we''re on here, mabye the less we bring it up to our bf''s!

 

[caligal]

Hi gals! I am doing great, but finding it hard to stay quiet to friends and family as we have a wedding date and a place!! But, technically I am still an LIW as he hasn''t proposed just yet. I know it is just around the corner, and we are wedding planning anyway!!

 

[bookworm21]

Whoa crap. When in the world did I wind up in the top 20, number 17, to be exact? Well, hmmm.....I''d say it''s going to be another 1.5-2 years. We''ve discussed it and have mutually come to an agreement that it will not be more than 2 years. We''re pretty much waiting for everything to settle down first; we''ve got so much going on that planning a wedding would be an added burden. So until the planning can be fun, we''re holding off.

 

[Cailet]

well I am now #15! yikes!
Our last convo confirmed our end of the year timeline so we should still be on track!
Never thought I would get to be top 20 (top 15!!!!)
I''m being pretty patient though - been pretty busy with work and school so that makes it a wee bit easy to handle!

Hopefully the long awaited proposal for Blueroses will set off a chain reaction!!

 

[Becky P]

Well, I''m not in the top 20, but there''s a slim chance that it could be before the end of the year. Since we had "the talk" a few weeks ago, things have gotten really easy, and we''re in a situation similar to Mandarine where he''ll joke around and talk about ''our'' kids, his money is our money, etc. We''ve been spending more time with couples lately, which I think helps, and last weekend we went to visit my dad in Michigan - not the first time they met, but the first time he willingly went to visit my dad, and it was HIS idea to go there. Plus, he is FINALLY going with me to meet all the extended family in early December (we do Cmas early b/c the flights are MUCH cheaper). So, I think once he meets the family, it''s highly likely. If it does happen before the end of the year, it would be in the last 2-3 wks of the year. He''s always said he would never propose on Cmas, New Years or Vday, so I know those are out for sure... but, that still leaves a bunch of other days!!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Mandarine!

Girl, you sound so happy and bubbly and eagerly awaiting things to come. Yay! I will have to keep checking in around here to see when it happens!

You were one of many who helped me with my very GRRRY moments in the wait, and I truly hope your wait is near the end now, and that you have a wonderful and memorable moment when *it* happens, followed by a great life in the house that will have crown molding once it''s not postponed anymore!

*Are you going to pop over to the Bride forum when *it* does happen? I miss the girls here, and it seems like fewer post there. I guess because the time of venting and needing to get calmed down kind of edges off once the engagement is official. But gosh, I really, really miss this forum!!*

 

[Mandarine]

Hi Fisher! you''re too cute!!!

You know you can come visit this forum everyday if you wanted to and would still be welcomed!. We don''t discriminate against our fellow graduates...hehe.

So don''t be shy to come and post and let us know how everyhting is going on your end!. I do go to the Brides forum and read your posts! (I can''t believe your cousin by the way!

...but your sweet reaction to what she was doing was no surprise to me, is just the goodness in you

)

I am happy...bubbly, in love, in cloud 9...whatever you call it....hehe...very happy

I think once I "graduate" I will probably continue to hop from forum to forum like I do today!....I will join your Brides in waiting list though

Thanks for the note

and do come over here!

M~

 

[janinegirly]

just checking in a month later...we''ve got 6 wks left in the year and next wkend is a holiday weekend, hopefully we''ll see some anxious LIW''s pop off the list this wkend, it''s been quiet lately!
I for one don''t think mine is coming this wkend..but we''re going away the week after, so maybe? Although I did a lot of the final bookings and selected the destination, so that''s looking unlikely. urgh.
anyway, was curious how others were doing. some on this orig thread are already engaged!

 

[Becky P]

janinegirly- well, in my post earlier in this thread (1 month ago today to be exact) I said I was hoping for a proposal by the end of the year. Well, I can assure you that I will definitely not be getting engaged before the end of the year unless my guy is the bluffer of all bluffers. But, I know him too well - he''s not bluffing right now. I can honestly say that if it happened before the end of 2007 I would be very surprised. For now, I''ve just been doing some self-reflection, paying attention to his words/actions, and we''ll see what happens. One of my favorite articles from the Oprah magazine is the article is the last page that Oprah writes every month. There is one that I clipped years ago and saved and re-read it every so often. The basic premise of the article is that "Doubt" means "Don''t". Don''t act, don''t speak, don''t agree (or disagree) to anything, but rather just wait. So, that''s what I''m doing right now... waiting, watching, observing, thinking. I need to be true to myself regardless the outcome of this relationship. But, as for a proposal by the end of the year, there''s no chance at all.. Best of luck to you other ladies though! Hopefully there will be a rush of engagement announcements coming up here soon!!!

 

[janinegirly]

becky, i decided to post here so as to not hijack righttime's post. i cut and pasted your post below in case.
anyway, good luck with it all and look forward to an update after that weekend. I hope you are reflecting a lot b/c honestly alot of this sounds really scary with a lot of red flags, especially since you seem to just be waiting until he makes some of these decisions for you (or takes his "space" because he is "a thinker"). Now you are just hoping to move in together as a compromise. Moving in without clear timeline actually can make things stay stagnant even longer. Anyway, I know you've already made up your mind that you're goign to follow him regardless, it just seems like you've lost a lot ground and credibility since you first sent that letter. Maybe take the reflection time to mull that over and see if you're still happy with the way things are heading. Check back in in a few wks...


janinegirly- I just posted a mini-update on the "Top 20" thread that just got bumped back up. No decision has been made yet about moving. We are flying down next Wednesday (Nov. 29) and will be there through Sunday (Dec. 3) just to check out the area and see if it's even anywhere that we want to live. It sounds fairly likely that we will be moving although all the details have yet to be worked out - I figure a lot of things will be figured out the weekend that we're there. I am assuming that since I would be compromising a ring, he will be compromising having separate places. He's been talking positively about looking for "our" place, needing to have room for "all of our furniture", "when we get a dog". He's a thinker, and seems to need some space to process through all of the big life changes that might be about to take place (moving, new job, relationship step). So, I haven't brought it up lately. I don't wanna rush it - it needs some time and space to sort itself out naturally without feeling pushed. So, we'll see what the next 2 weeks brings... Meanwhile, I'm just trying to self-reflect and make sure that I'm being true to myself through this whole process.

 

[Becky P]

Yup. I''ll check back in after we go visit NC. Like I said, no decisions have been made yet. But, I do believe he loves me and wants to marry me. So, I can either choose to wait until he''s ready or decide that being married is more important and start looking elsewhere. I haven''t made any decisions yet. But, I just need to get all the other voices out of my head and figure out what my own mind is telling me to do. I appreciate all of the care and concern from the ladies here, but I''ve had enough opinions now (online, friends, family) and need to become still within myself and listen to what my heart, and more importantly, my head is telling me. We''ll see what happens - no promises, no decisions, just thinking for now... Thanks for checking in...

 

[LuckyLady]

"I for one don''t think mine is coming this wkend..but we''re going away the week after, so maybe? Although I did a lot of the final bookings and selected the destination, so that''s looking unlikely. urgh."

Janinegirly!

I also planned and booked the vacation where my FI proposed! I think he was just waiting for the perfect opportunity- so I provided one!

You never know...

Good luck!

 

[Mandarine]

haha Luckylady! that''s pretty funny!

Janine you never know! I''m sending sparkly vibes your way!!!.

You know where I stand in my waiting so I won''t update everyone again..hehe

M~

 

[ImpatientOne]

Were exactly can the top 20 list be found?

I am fairly new here, and am pretty sure my bf will be proposing before the end of the year We went ring shopping yesterday and bought the setting! The jeweler is bringing in some stones for us to view this week. Once the stone is set, my bf will pick the ring up and I wont see the completed product until he atually proposes. He is being super secretive, but he did tell me the other day that we are still on target for marriage in the first half of ''07 - and no ladies, I don''t want/need much time to plan a wedding as we have both been married before and will probably just elope! I am thinking he will propose at Christmas or New Years...

 

[therighttime]

Hi ImpatientOne,

The ladies in waiting list is the first post on the board. We''re referring to the 1st 20 names on there as the "top 20." With so many of us waiting for Christmas/New Year''s proposals, I''m wondering if we should start the "End of the Year top 10" ??

Sounds like your proposal will be soon. Can''t wait to hear details and see the ring. I''ve been married before, too, and also wouldn''t need much time to plan a small event!

Good luck to you!

 

[poptart]

Date: 11/20/2006 11:02:38 PM
Author: ImpatientOne
Were exactly can the top 20 list be found?

I am fairly new here, and am pretty sure my bf will be proposing before the end of the year We went ring shopping yesterday and bought the setting! The jeweler is bringing in some stones for us to view this week. Once the stone is set, my bf will pick the ring up and I wont see the completed product until he atually proposes. He is being super secretive, but he did tell me the other day that we are still on target for marriage in the first half of ''07 - and no ladies, I don''t want/need much time to plan a wedding as we have both been married before and will probably just elope! I am thinking he will propose at Christmas or New Years...

Good to hear their is progress being made!

*M*

 

[janinegirly]

Date: 11/20/2006 11:21:36 PM
Author: therighttime
Hi ImpatientOne,

The ladies in waiting list is the first post on the board. We''re referring to the 1st 20 names on there as the ''top 20.'' With so many of us waiting for Christmas/New Year''s proposals, I''m wondering if we should start the ''End of the Year top 10'' ??

Sounds like your proposal will be soon. Can''t wait to hear details and see the ring. I''ve been married before, too, and also wouldn''t need much time to plan a small event!

Good luck to you!

hey righttime, that might be a good idea---i''ll set up another thread. Might be a fun way to help the next 6 wks pass (we all know it''s hard to have much else on the mind..!)

 

[snogirl17]

Well i am lucky lady number 11 right now.. and though we discuss it sometimes, i am certain that it will not happen this year. Even though i am super excited for the time to come for him to ask me to be his wife and the offical other half of team JC! (our initals are both JC). I think i will be haning in the top 10 for a while.

But i am sending out lots of hopeful vibes to all the other ladies out there! Good Luck everyone!